Magnolia Pearl: What in the World?

[MamaJunebug]

On 4/17/2017 at 0:13 PM, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

If Mad Max and  Ralph Lauren had a baby with Zombie Cosette she would be thrilled with this catalogue.  I

Michael K of dlisted.com, is that you??!! Perfect analysis. 

On 4/17/2017 at 10:32 AM, Four is Enough said:

The huge clock faces and whitewashed/distressed everything are getting O-L-D-OLD in my opinion. Not as ugly as Magnolia Pearl, but definitely tired.. at least I am.

Over on previously.tv, someone recently  snarked that Joanna removes any historical feature a house has! Said it much better than that, and it isn't always the case, but I thought you'd appreciate it. 

I watch FU for the way Jo & Chip seem genuinely to like each other. That was the exact opposite of my experience in my long, unhappy marriage.  I've become more than bored with their automatic "take out a wall... for that open floor plan ... and subway tile" and those terrifying metal signs from Jimmy Don.

I'd also be gratified to see a home buyer be anything other than positively in total awesome awe and gratitude at Jo's chunky laptop depictions of their homes-to-be. 

I rather imagine it would be along the lines of MadTV's episode where someone didn't answer, "Absolutely, Oprah" to Oprah, and Oprah-zilla rained down torment upon them!

It'd be fun to watch.

Joanna: "...We'll take down this wall and hang a huge metal pot rack and..."

Client: "Oh, Jo, I don't like that -- "

Joanna: "... ...  !!!"

Edited April 18, 2017 by MamaJunebug

[Four is Enough]

@MamaJunebug, you hit the nail right on the head. I hope that when Mr. Four and I downsize, there is ONE HOUSE left in America WITHOUT the damned open floor plan.

NO shiplap, NO subway or tumbled marble or travertine or multi level tiles anywhere. Do these people know how hard it is to dust and clean this stuff? 

I've gotten tired of Chip's antics. He's so manic.. 

I've often wondered about how much input the family has into these FU houses... they aren't ever shown coming around looking at progress. When Mr. Four and I built our house, we were on the site every day or two!

[MamaJunebug]

4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

@MamaJunebug, you hit the nail right on the head. I hope that when Mr. Four and I downsize, there is ONE HOUSE left in America WITHOUT the damned open floor plan.

NO shiplap, NO subway or tumbled marble or travertine or multi level tiles anywhere. Do these people know how hard it is to dust and clean this stuff? 

I've gotten tired of Chip's antics. He's so manic.. 

I've often wondered about how much input the family has into these FU houses... they aren't ever shown coming around looking at progress. When Mr. Four and I built our house, we were on the site every day or two!

Ohhhh that last part!!! When the very unemotional, techno-looking couple were in their concrete-walled house for the first time and Jo/Chip smirked, "Was it hard not visiting the site?", I yelled at the tv, "good thing they didn't!"

I mean even for that expressionless couple (the buyers) it was like a satire on Maud Lebowski's pad in The Big Lebowski, only colder, uglier, sterile (as in inorganic, not as in clean).

 I'm also tired of the excessive thanking and groveling by the homeowners. Er, folks? You PAID for this!

It amuses me that in the very early episodes, it's often evident that the homeowners swapped the furniture in the reveal for their own pieces, in the footage where the family talks about how happy they've been, living in the house. 

In most of the latest episodes, either the family are shown outside the house, or in the kitchen, gathered 'round the island, which obviously can't be removed.  

Edited April 19, 2017 by MamaJunebug

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

 

It amuses me that in the very early episodes, it's often evident that the homeowners swapped the furniture in the reveal for their own pieces, in the footage where the family talks about how happy they've been, living in the house. 

In most of the latest episodes, either the family are shown outside the house, or in the kitchen, gathered 'round the island, which obviously can't be removed.  

They aren't allowed to keep the staging furniture unless they want to pay for it. The furniture is Chip and Jo's unless they made a special piece for them. So that's why they always have their own furniture. Because it would probably be another $15,000 to keep it all.

[PennySycamore]

@RosyDaisy,  our house, when we get finished with our renovations this year won't any more of an open floor plan that it does currently.  We already have a kitchen/den combo which I suppose was open floor plan in a mid 60s fairly modest brick ranch.  I will probably put subway tile on the backsplash, but that multi-level tile designers seem so fond of -just no.  I'm like you.  I can't imagine cleaning that!  I actually will probably install an island.  I wasn't going to, but I can make our kitchen bigger without tearing out any walls by putting the cooktop/rangetop in the island and wall oven(s) where the range currently is.

[Grimalkin]

On 4/17/2017 at 4:12 AM, AmazonGrace said:

50 Shades of Fading Bruises, or The Face When the Toddler Zombies Gave You An  Easter Witch Makeover

  Reveal hidden contents

That was the year I spent locked up in a padded cell, for my own safety :

  Reveal hidden contents

 

     I feel like this may be offensive to Gypsies.

@AmazonGrace I love you so much for this. It was so funny, best laugh I have had in a while. 

[catlady]

18 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

@MamaJunebug, you hit the nail right on the head. I hope that when Mr. Four and I downsize, there is ONE HOUSE left in America WITHOUT the damned open floor plan.

 

i'm with you.  i hate hate hate open floorplans and especially open kitchens.  i like to look around on Realtor.com when i can't sleep, and it makes me crazy to see what amounts to a big giant living room with cabinets and appliances at one end.   especially in an old house.   my current house was built in 1939 and had a standard kitchen, but a previous owner took out the damn wall next to the dining room, so now it's basically a big eat-in kitchen with fewer cabinets than it used to have.  and while i'm griping, why does every damn island have barstools under it?  how many places does one need to sit and eat?

ok, rant over......

[Grimalkin]

5 hours ago, catlady said:

i'm with you.  i hate hate hate open floorplans and especially open kitchens.  i like to look around on Realtor.com when i can't sleep, and it makes me crazy to see what amounts to a big giant living room with cabinets and appliances at one end.   especially in an old house.   my current house was built in 1939 and had a standard kitchen, but a previous owner took out the damn wall next to the dining room, so now it's basically a big eat-in kitchen with fewer cabinets than it used to have.  and while i'm griping, why does every damn island have barstools under it?  how many places does one need to sit and eat?

ok, rant over......

       My husband hates open floor plans too. I like open floor plans, probably because my mom was a hoarder. I like open bright spaces with lots of light.

[Four is Enough]

Open floor plan means you can hear everything that's going on , so when I'm cooking or talking on the phone in thekitchen, the person in the family room watching television turns up the volume. It never goes back down. It only goes up.

 

[FloraDoraDolly]

I hate open floor plans, too. I don't have kids, but I used to do in-home daycare. Thankfully, none of those homes had the open concept, so I could put up a baby gate and keep the toddlers out of the kitchen.

[DarkAnts]

I want to know what mind altering drugs everyone takes before the photo shoot.

[Dandruff]

HELP WANTED

Local firm seeking female fashion models. No previous experience required. Desired attributes include: visible indications of battery, a compelling "deer in the headlights" look, and demonstrated willingness to pose with and/or wearing wild game and refuse. Both living and undead candidates may apply; however, living applicants must provide valid ID and proof of current vaccinations. Flexible hours and payment options.

[DaisyD]

Tetanus booster required...

[Jug Band Baby]

My younger sister's goal in life is to replace everything she owns with Magnolia Pearl stuff.  Big Sister and I can't convince her that she'd save money by rummaging though the Goodwill Outlet and probably get better quality.  Nope.  Little Sis struggles to buy food, but damned if she's not saving for Magnolia Pearl stuff, which is the reason we don't help her with food.  Dropping $500 on a piece of shit shirt that's falling apart at the seams out of the box isn't a smart use of money when the cupboards are bare.

I think Pearl's fans are people who want to feel rich and exclusive by dropping a fortune on shit.

Edited April 20, 2017 by Jug Band Baby

[Terrie]

11 hours ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

I hate open floor plans, too. I don't have kids, but I used to do in-home daycare. Thankfully, none of those homes had the open concept, so I could put up a baby gate and keep the toddlers out of the kitchen.

Add me in, though I'm looking to gate dogs, not kids. May brother's house has an open floor plan. They bought it for the location and really aren't huge fans of the layout. They make do, but I'll be interested to see what they go for if they ever move.

[Maggie Mae]

I hate open floor plans with a passion. Everyone does not need to be in the same room all the time. If I'm cooking, I don't want to watch or hear the stupid tv. I swear, open concept was created to feed America's tv.addiction. Overprotective SAHMs co- oped it. 

I like lots of sun, but you can get that without having your tv room in your kitchen.

[hollyandivy]

Wow, how did this thread escape my attention so far?? And there really are people that pay money for this garbage????? I am speechless....

[Coconut Flan]

I know a woman who dresses in a mix of Anthropologie mistakes and Magnolia Pearl with a little something else thrown in.  She wonders why people at work don't take her seriously.

[Dandruff]

11 hours ago, hollyandivy said:

Wow, how did this thread escape my attention so far?? And there really are people that pay money for this garbage????? I am speechless....

Amazing, isn't it? I just don't get what people are relating to.  I look at those images and imagine restraining orders, poverty, and antipsychotic medication...none of which happen to be on my wish list, so no thanks for the wardrobe ideas.

[Jug Band Baby]

19 hours ago, hollyandivy said:

Wow, how did this thread escape my attention so far?? And there really are people that pay money for this garbage????? I am speechless....

Pearl has a real, non-ironic following of real fans who pay cold hard cash-money for stuff that would get rejected by Goodwill and sent to the outlets where stuff is sold by the pound.  I don't get it either.  Even if someone likes the aesthetic or wants to feel exclusive, why not "rescue" something from a salvage bin and "upcycle" it with a few torn seams since that's also trendy?  And then use the saved hundreds to pay bills or use as toilet paper to save a few rolls of toilet paper?

[DinglyDoll]

On 4/19/2017 at 7:49 PM, DarkAnts said:

I want to know what mind altering drugs everyone takes before the photo shoot.

The same drugs Magnolia Pearl is on. I couldn't get over how acid trippin she looked in her wedding video. I watched the Janis Joplin documentary on Netflix a few months ago, and Magnolia Pearl makes Janis look like a sweet Catholic school girl.

16 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Amazing, isn't it? I just don't get what people are relating to.  I look at those images and imagine restraining orders, poverty, and antipsychotic medication...none of which happen to be on my wish list, so no thanks for the wardrobe ideas.

And besides appearance, the clothes evoke odors of must and mold and dust and old sweat. Yuck!

 

[AmazonGrace]

Everyone was always saying how great our homeschooling was, but one day it dawned on Shosquehannah   that in reality boots are not actually intended for storage of barnyard items and that we had never properly understood how violins work. 

[catlady]

for the love of all things holy, give that woman an iron!  

that's actually one of their more tolerable dresses; i'd probably wear it only on saturday afternoons in the garden, but the wrinkles.  my god, the wrinkles.  and they probably charge $450 for it.

[Jug Band Baby]

Honestly, as concept art photos, they are interesting and well done.  They make me think of photos taken that are meant to challenge perceptions by blending eras and having a dissonance between the modern "distressed boyfriend jean" look and rococo-ish makeup.  The Time photo of the Afghan refugee with green eyes is stunning.  But what Magnolia Pearl does is like taking that photo of Sharbat Gula, and rather than letting the photo speak for itself, decide to sell us on the romanticism of poverty by trying to make it a fashion trend.

That's really what she does.  The photos on her site, on their own, could, in addition to that dissonance, be taken as showing the imagination and creativity it takes to make due with what you have when you're poor.  But by doing this to sell thread-bare clothing, she's claiming poverty is romantic and trendy.  That's pretty insulting, and a sign of privilege.  Poor people don't wear things falling apart because it looks cool.  They do it because there's no other choice.  And there Pearl is, trying to make poverty trendy and extremely pricy.  It feels like a mockery.  How lucky she is to have a choice.

Maybe I'm being over-sensitive and just PMSing, but this is why what she does bothers me so much.

[Gobsmacked]

8 hours ago, catlady said:

for the love of all things holy, give that woman an iron!  

that's actually one of their more tolerable dresses; i'd probably wear it only on saturday afternoons in the garden, but the wrinkles.  my god, the wrinkles.  and they probably charge $450 for it.

It would make a pretty nightie for a teen sleep over. That's all though.