Jessa Duggar Seewald Pt 5 - The Smug is Strong With This One

[HCB]

It's definitely subjective. The plump lips and nice hair have always been what I assumed people saw in Jessa. To me, Jinger is the hottest.

[lascuba]

All I'm saying is, adolescent Jinger--the one who's on-screen contempt inspired "Free Jinger!"--wasn't so different in on-camera personality from Jessa, and yet the difference in how they were/are perceived is huge. There's a reason for that, and since their looks is the one obvious difference between the two...

I've just seen it way too often, where a beautiful woman has to be perceived as meek and sweet or else get hit with the "smug bitch" label. I don't think that's a coincidence.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Anyone else see this yet?

What is one trait you hope your children will inherit from Ben?

Jessa: Most of all, I hope that our kids will inherit Ben’s love for people and his compassionate heart. His heart truly aches when he sees people going through a difficult time, and he hurts with the hurting. He is especially alert and attentive to the emotions of others. Often times, he’s calling people on the phone or writing notes of encouragement and support to those in need. His love for people is so deep and genuine. He desires to share the hope of Christ with those who are lost. He draws inspiration from studying the Bible, and he has the heart of an evangelist. His heroes are men like Charles Spurgeon and Paul Washer, and he is constantly reading books and listening to sermons. His passion for the Gospel is so inspiring, and he continually motivates me to draw closer to Christ!

duggarfamilyblog.com/

[MatthewDuggar]

Anyone else see this yet?

What is one trait you hope your children will inherit from Ben?

Jessa: Most of all, I hope that our kids will inherit Ben’s love for people and his compassionate heart. His heart truly aches when he sees people going through a difficult time, and he hurts with the hurting. He is especially alert and attentive to the emotions of others. Often times, he’s calling people on the phone or writing notes of encouragement and support to those in need. His love for people is so deep and genuine. He desires to share the hope of Christ with those who are lost. He draws inspiration from studying the Bible, and he has the heart of an evangelist. His heroes are men like Charles Spurgeon and Paul Washer, and he is constantly reading books and listening to sermons. His passion for the Gospel is so inspiring, and he continually motivates me to draw closer to Christ!

duggarfamilyblog.com/

He gives compassion to who? His circle of three friends and/or his family?

[ShepherdontheRock]

He gives compassion to who? His circle of three friends and/or his family?

He's compassionate towards all the aborted/potentially aborted babies.

[magicmeyers]

While I agree that Jessa is 150% smug and is annoyingly obsessed with judging other people's lives, she does have some redeeming qualities. She seems to be reasonably intelligent/articulate, at least compared to other fundies (like Ben, Jill, Jim Bob, Moochelle, and, I hate to say it, Erin). This was really obvious in the Megyn Kelly interview...my boyfriend, who doesn't watch the show, kept asking me if Jill had some kind of diagnosed mental disability. Jessa also hasn't mishandled/stolen money with a fake mission yet. She hasn't defended Josh or placed the blame for adultery on the other spouse (like Jill and Derick seemed to). She makes an income with public appearances, which is a legitimate source of income no matter how you feel about her merit as a speaker. And she and Ben do seem to have genuine love for one another and similar goals in life; they don't fit into the whirlwind/basically arranged courtship patterns of some other fundie couples (Pris/Pecan, Josh/Anna, Jill/Derick). Basically, while she's judgmental and bitchy, Jessa doesn't seem to be a total professional/immoral mooch. She also hasn't repeatedly ignored/endangered/neglected her infant.......yet.

[halcionne]

All I'm saying is, adolescent Jinger--the one who's on-screen contempt inspired "Free Jinger!"--wasn't so different in on-camera personality from Jessa, and yet the difference in how they were/are perceived is huge. There's a reason for that, and since their looks is the one obvious difference between the two...

I've just seen it way too often, where a beautiful woman has to be perceived as meek and sweet or else get hit with the "smug bitch" label. I don't think that's a coincidence.

So true. Poor Jinger lost her spark somewhere over the years and that's sad. Jessa is sparkier than ever and look how even FJ responds. :roll:

[singsingsing]

magicmeyers, I agree with you re: Jessa, but I also have to say that Jill and Derick seem to share a genuine love and attraction, and also seem to have VERY similar goals in life. But it kills me that people mock Jessa and Ben for supposedly rushing into marriage because they were horny, and not Jill and Derick. I mean, what? Jessa and Ben spent a year getting to know each other before they got engaged, whereas Jill and Derick skyped a few times, she spent a few days in Nepal with him (heavily chaperoned with a film crew to document it, of course), and then they were engaged a month after he came back to the States. But Jessa is the sex maniac who rushed to the altar. Okay.

I guess what I always think is, there are so many real, serious, important things to criticize these people for, why focus on ridiculous things like how horny they are or how often they do their hair? I'm not saying don't have fun snarking on them, but some of the pettier stuff is really just thinly veiled sexism.

[magicmeyers]

magicmeyers, I agree with you re: Jessa, but I also have to say that Jill and Derick seem to share a genuine love and attraction, and also seem to have VERY similar goals in life. But it kills me that people mock Jessa and Ben for supposedly rushing into marriage because they were horny, and not Jill and Derick. I mean, what? Jessa and Ben spent a year getting to know each other before they got engaged, whereas Jill and Derick skyped a few times, she spent a few days in Nepal with him (heavily chaperoned with a film crew to document it, of course), and then they were engaged a month after he came back to the States. But Jessa is the sex maniac who rushed to the altar. Okay.

I totally agree that Jill and Derick had the ultimate rush-to-the-alter courtship. I thought they were really sweet in the beginning, but now they just make me uncomfortable. Jill interrupts Derick CONSTANTLY in the talking heads segments, and he often looks annoyed with her. It's pretty obvious when they're together that they have very little in common and Jill is leagues behind Derick in intelligence and life experience. Maybe they're both Christians who enjoy missionary work, but Derick was a normal person who participated in legitimate missions. Now he's jetting around the western hemisphere, occasionally converting Catholics, and passing off his baby to strangers/sister-moms. Idk, they just seem awkward and disenchanted to me.

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

I totally agree that Jill and Derick had the ultimate rush-to-the-alter courtship. I thought they were really sweet in the beginning, but now they just make me uncomfortable. Jill interrupts Derick CONSTANTLY in the talking heads segments, and he often looks annoyed with her. It's pretty obvious when they're together that they have very little in common and Jill is leagues behind Derick in intelligence and life experience. Maybe they're both Christians who enjoy missionary work, but Derick was a normal person who participated in legitimate missions. Now he's jetting around the western hemisphere, occasionally converting Catholics, and passing off his baby to strangers/sister-moms. Idk, they just seem awkward and disenchanted to me.

Derick doesn't seem too bothered about grifting and doing half-ass mission trips. Honestly, if someone is willing to marry into this family with no plans to drift away from the Duggar brand, then they probably aren't very bright--with or without colle

[nastyhobbitses]

I totally agree that Jill and Derick had the ultimate rush-to-the-alter courtship. I thought they were really sweet in the beginning, but now they just make me uncomfortable. Jill interrupts Derick CONSTANTLY in the talking heads segments, and he often looks annoyed with her. It's pretty obvious when they're together that they have very little in common and Jill is leagues behind Derick in intelligence and life experience. Maybe they're both Christians who enjoy missionary work, but Derick was a normal person who participated in legitimate missions. Now he's jetting around the western hemisphere, occasionally converting Catholics, and passing off his baby to strangers/sister-moms. Idk, they just seem awkward and disenchanted to me.

Yeah, at first I kinda liked Jill's over-enthusiasm and I was excited that she was marrying a more "worldly" sort of guy, and at first they seemed to have a lot more chemistry than Jessa and Ben (who really did give off a "we're getting married so we can bang" vibe), but now she's floundering without a film crew to direct her, and Derick has just sort of checked out, it seems. I don't think he was really prepared to jump into everything like he and Jill did; I have a feeling that he wasn't expecting her to get pregnant so fast, and definitely wasn't expecting the TLC gravy train to derail like it did, and now he's just sort of lost. He has a wife who's dealing with the fallout of her horrible secret coming to light (he very likely had no idea that she was molested by her brother), a baby, no job because he really did not think the whole quitting thing through, yet another TV special because that's all Jill knows how to do (and with no Wal-Mart job anymore, that's all he can really do), and a mission that's getting roundly mocked by the entire internet because he and Jill chose sloth over service. I really do hope they work things out. And just want to throw it out there that I don't think much more of Jessa and Ben's partnership. He seems like he's getting more and more controlling (projecting his insecurity about his unemployment and the expectation that he dominate his rather domineering wife), she's trying everything to keep herself relevant (like Jill, she knows how to look pretty for the camera and little else), and now they're going to have a baby. Great.

[lascuba]

magicmeyers, I agree with you re: Jessa, but I also have to say that Jill and Derick seem to share a genuine love and attraction, and also seem to have VERY similar goals in life. But it kills me that people mock Jessa and Ben for supposedly rushing into marriage because they were horny, and not Jill and Derick. I mean, what? Jessa and Ben spent a year getting to know each other before they got engaged, whereas Jill and Derick skyped a few times, she spent a few days in Nepal with him (heavily chaperoned with a film crew to document it, of course), and then they were engaged a month after he came back to the States. But Jessa is the sex maniac who rushed to the altar. Okay.

I guess what I always think is, there are so many real, serious, important things to criticize these people for, why focus on ridiculous things like how horny they are or how often they do their hair? I'm not saying don't have fun snarking on them, but some of the pettier stuff is really just thinly veiled sexism.

It's especially ridiculous because it was Jill who stated outright that the reason she and Derrick were getting married so quickly was because they wanted to have sex. But she and Derrick have the true love story while Jessa and Ben are just horny?

[ShepherdontheRock]

It's especially ridiculous because it was Jill who stated outright that the reason she and Derrick were getting married so quickly was because they wanted to have sex. But she and Derrick have the true love story while Jessa and Ben are just horny?

Their "love story" was, her dad set her up with the best match he knew because she admitted she desperately wanted a husband. She didn't see any red flags, so she assumed that was the one God had in mind for her. the end.

I mean, at least Ben having a fanboy crush on Jessa sounds cute and more legit than that.

[socalrules]

Their "love story" was, her dad set her up with the best match he knew because she admitted she desperately wanted a husband. She didn't see any red flags, so she assumed that was the one God had in mind for her. the end.

I mean, at least Ben having a fanboy crush on Jessa sounds cute and more legit than that.

Yes, Yes, Yes. I have never bought that Jill and Derrick were some type of wonderful love story. I believe Jill would have been in love no matter who Jim Bob picked out for her. If Jim Bob had chosen Ben for Jill, I have no doubt she would have been in love with him. Let's not forget the "Daddy knows what we like" mantra the girls spouted about prospective courtships. Daddy will find the man that God wants for them. Jill didn't fall in love with Derrick, Jill fell in love with the man Daddy decided she would fall in love with.

[singsingsing]

Here's the thing, there is this very prominent idea in conservative Christianity that any two Christians can make a good marital match. Literally ANY two Christians. I used to read Boundless (kind of a webzine/blog/podcast for young adults run by Focus on the Family) and they endorsed this idea all the time. Yes, they paid lip service to compatible personalities, goals, interests, and even sometimes chemistry (though they were majorly, majorly suspicious and derisive of 'chemistry') but ultimately what it came down to was - is he a real Christian? Does he have a good reputation? Does he have qualities that would make him a good provider? Marry him. Is she a real Christian? Does she have a good reputation? Does she have qualities that would make her a good wife and mother? Marry her. (To their credit, if you were literally repulsed by someone's appearance or personality, they would advise you not to marry them, so that's something at least.)

Now these were conservative Christians, to be sure, but they were way more liberal than the Duggars. They were for the most part fine with birth control, drinking (in moderation), dancing, higher education, working for other people, women wearing pants, etc. If they believed this, I can only imagine that fundies believe it 10 times more. I think Josh and Anna and David and Priscilla are two glaring examples of this philosophy in action. And because of this, I think when a youthful fundie meets someone and they meet the criteria I mentioned above AND there is some compatibility, attraction, and/or similar interests, they probably feel like they've hit the jackpot.

There's also definitely this pervasive belief that God is writing your love story, and you are literally waiting for the one God has made for you. So when someone comes along who seems to tick all the right boxes and he/she wants to court you, I think it's really easy to be completely swept away by the euphoria of the belief that you've met your predestined soulmate, have been blessed by God, and are fulfilling God's plan for your life.

(edited for riffles)

[HermioneSparrow]

While I agree that Jessa is 150% smug and is annoyingly obsessed with judging other people's lives, she does have some redeeming qualities. She seems to be reasonably intelligent/articulate, at least compared to other fundies (like Ben, Jill, Jim Bob, Moochelle, and, I hate to say it, Erin). This was really obvious in the Megyn Kelly interview...my boyfriend, who doesn't watch the show, kept asking me if Jill had some kind of diagnosed mental disability. Jessa also hasn't mishandled/stolen money with a fake mission yet. She hasn't defended Josh or placed the blame for adultery on the other spouse (like Jill and Derick seemed to). She makes an income with public appearances, which is a legitimate source of income no matter how you feel about her merit as a speaker. And she and Ben do seem to have genuine love for one another and similar goals in life; they don't fit into the whirlwind/basically arranged courtship patterns of some other fundie couples (Pris/Pecan, Josh/Anna, Jill/Derick). Basically, while she's judgmental and bitchy, Jessa doesn't seem to be a total professional/immoral mooch. She also hasn't repeatedly ignored/endangered/neglected her infant.......yet.

Agree to disagree. Jessa has redeeming qualities and I like that she's outspoken unlike other fundie girls... HOWEVER.. She's as much as a grifter as the others, she just asked for gift cards and she also had a huge wedding registry with items like kayak boats... She's as bad as the Dillards. And to the bolded, NOT A CHANCE.. She might be confident and that comes across as articulate but intelligent? Jill seems to be hardworking on achieving her lay midwife certification even if she isn't that good or whatever, she did more than the other girls, especially Jessa who claims she doesn't really own books... Erin Bates graduated Clown College (well, at least) at the top of her class and she had an scholarship to the University of Tennessee, she still works and is a mom and wife, she married the best you can get as a fundie, a hardworking sensitive guy, she does talk a little childish but all of her actions speaks volumes, she's smart... unlike Jessa Princessa Smugessa who married a child with no prospects and even with the speaking engagements, she's still waiting for everybody to come and support her increasing family and is relying on a defunct tv show while she just sits barefoot and pregnant taking selfies and judging everybody. Jessa IMO is not smart, at all.

[missegeno]

Yes, Yes, Yes. I have never bought that Jill and Derrick were some type of wonderful love story. I believe Jill would have been in love no matter who Jim Bob picked out for her. If Jim Bob had chosen Ben for Jill, I have no doubt she would have been in love with him. Let's not forget the "Daddy knows what we like" mantra the girls spouted about prospective courtships. Daddy will find the man that God wants for them. Jill didn't fall in love with Derrick, Jill fell in love with the man Daddy decided she would fall in love with.

I just rewatched the episode where Jill and Boob go to Nepal to meet Derick. Jill talks about how every night, Jim Bob would ask her how she thought it was going. She wouldn't know how to respond so she'd ask "I don't know. What do you think?" And he would tell her what he thinks and then she would give her input. He seemingly never said "I asked you first." He just repeatedly gave his opinion before getting feedback from her, if Jill's account is to be believed.

It saddens me so much. There is no concept of anything beyond parroting what Boob thinks. What kind of parent doesnt make sure they get a child's unadjusted opinion before saying their own opinion? And poor jill has no idea how to respond to the question "what do you think." She just throws it back at her dad, who is more than happy to spout off himself. To be fair, I've flipped that question back at the original asker plenty of times, but not every night day after day.

[apandaaries]

Yes, Yes, Yes. I have never bought that Jill and Derrick were some type of wonderful love story. I believe Jill would have been in love no matter who Jim Bob picked out for her. If Jim Bob had chosen Ben for Jill, I have no doubt she would have been in love with him. Let's not forget the "Daddy knows what we like" mantra the girls spouted about prospective courtships. Daddy will find the man that God wants for them. Jill didn't fall in love with Derrick, Jill fell in love with the man Daddy decided she would fall in love with.

Remember the wedding, before Jill went down the aisle? JB said something about her upcoming nuptials, and she says that she fell in love with a guy just like her dad, the guy he'd picked out for her. Pretty weird, more than a little gross.

[Mothership]

I think Jessa has earned the "smug" epithet over other's because of her actions not her looks.

To be fair, Jill and Jessa are on social media now because they're married--so it's quite possible that the other J'girls howlers will end up being just as smug, if/when given the chance for Facebook and instagram posts.

Josh, Jess and Jill as talking heads on the show were regularly the most vocal (well, perhaps with the exception of Johannah and lets see if she stays spunky or ends up being just as smug some day). My recollection is watching Jana watch Jill as she talked and Jinger watch Jessa.

I'm sure others are just as drunk on the koolaid, but whether it's shyness, humility or simply being inarticulate, they just don't shout "Smug"

[halcionne]

Agree to disagree. Jessa has redeeming qualities and I like that she's outspoken unlike other fundie girls... HOWEVER.. She's as much as a grifter as the others, she just asked for gift cards and she also had a huge wedding registry with items like kayak boats... She's as bad as the Dillards. And to the bolded, NOT A CHANCE.. She might be confident and that comes across as articulate but intelligent? Jill seems to be hardworking on achieving her lay midwife certification even if she isn't that good or whatever, she did more than the other girls, especially Jessa who claims she doesn't really own books... Erin Bates graduated Clown College (well, at least) at the top of her class and she had an scholarship to the University of Tennessee, she still works and is a mom and wife, she married the best you can get as a fundie, a hardworking sensitive guy, she does talk a little childish but all of her actions speaks volumes, she's smart... unlike Jessa Princessa Smugessa who married a child with no prospects and even with the speaking engagements, she's still waiting for everybody to come and support her increasing family and is relying on a defunct tv show while she just sits barefoot and pregnant taking selfies and judging everybody. Jessa IMO is not smart, at all.

But none of these points speaks to a person's intelligence. I have held a professional certificate, own few books, and didn't finish college, but I'm pretty confident that I have a higher IQ than all three of these women. Not that IQ is a much better measure of anything meaningful. I feel that Jessa is more likely to start thinking critically and gtfo of IBLP, which is why I think she's the smartest of the three, but that's just my opinion.

[nst]

I totally agree that Jill and Derick had the ultimate rush-to-the-alter courtship. I thought they were really sweet in the beginning, but now they just make me uncomfortable. Jill interrupts Derick CONSTANTLY in the talking heads segments, and he often looks annoyed with her. It's pretty obvious when they're together that they have very little in common and Jill is leagues behind Derick in intelligence and life experience. Maybe they're both Christians who enjoy missionary work, but Derick was a normal person who participated in legitimate missions. Now he's jetting around the western hemisphere, occasionally converting Catholics, and passing off his baby to strangers/sister-moms. Idk, they just seem awkward and disenchanted to me.

also the way he corrects him - especially during that special when they did those flash cards - and she was always on his case

can you imagine that type of marriage - I can't - at least Ben and Jessa are adorable together during that segment

Jill was just catty and annoying during that episode and you could see the true colors of her

[nst]

another point - if Jill, Derick et all knew they were getting another show - why the hell would they set up a donation set up ?

[louisa05]

Here's the thing, there is this very prominent idea in conservative Christianity that any two Christians can make a good marital match. Literally ANY two Christians. I used to read Boundless (kind of a webzine/blog/podcast for young adults run by Focus on the Family) and they endorsed this idea all the time. Yes, they paid lip service to compatible personalities, goals, interests, and even sometimes chemistry (though they were majorly, majorly suspicious and derisive of 'chemistry') but ultimately what it came down to was - is he a real Christian? Does he have a good reputation? Does he have qualities that would make him a good provider? Marry him. Is she a real Christian? Does she have a good reputation? Does she have qualities that would make her a good wife and mother? Marry her. (To their credit, if you were literally repulsed by someone's appearance or personality, they would advise you not to marry them, so that's something at least.)

Now these were conservative Christians, to be sure, but they were way more liberal than the Duggars. They were for the most part fine with birth control, drinking (in moderation), dancing, higher education, working for other people, women wearing pants, etc. If they believed this, I can only imagine that fundies believe it 10 times more. I think Josh and Anna and David and Priscilla are two glaring examples of this philosophy in action. And because of this, I think when a youthful fundie meets someone and they meet the criteria I mentioned above AND there is some compatibility, attraction, and/or similar interests, they probably feel like they've hit the jackpot.

There's also definitely this pervasive belief that God is writing your love story, and you are literally waiting for the one God has made for you. So when someone comes along who seems to tick all the right boxes and he/she wants to court you, I think it's really easy to be completely swept away by the euphoria of the belief that you've met your predestined soulmate, have been blessed by God, and are fulfilling God's plan for your life.

(edited for riffles)

That very notion was preached in the evangelical world I was around, too. It also heavily emphasized that any marriage of two Christians would work as long as both worked hard to fulfill the required gender roles. I remember hearing a guest speaker at Christian school chapel explain that the notion that you should have fun with your spouse or enjoy being with him/her was "worldly" and came from "dating culture" and that if you just shared all the right beliefs and lived in all the right gender roles, marriage would be perfect whether you enjoyed being with or even loved your spouse at all.

And they wonder why they have a high divorce rate. :angry-banghead:

[ClaraOswin]

I totally agree that Jill and Derick had the ultimate rush-to-the-alter courtship. I thought they were really sweet in the beginning, but now they just make me uncomfortable. Jill interrupts Derick CONSTANTLY in the talking heads segments, and he often looks annoyed with her. It's pretty obvious when they're together that they have very little in common and Jill is leagues behind Derick in intelligence and life experience. Maybe they're both Christians who enjoy missionary work, but Derick was a normal person who participated in legitimate missions. Now he's jetting around the western hemisphere, occasionally converting Catholics, and passing off his baby to strangers/sister-moms. Idk, they just seem awkward and disenchanted to me.

I think Derick used to see sort of normal-ish. But he's loving the kool-aid now! I think Jill wanted to get married ASAP because BABIES! BABIES! BABIES! more than for just the sex.

I don't think Derick seems too annoyed with her. But I do think Jessa seems annoyed with Ben a lot in the talking heads. And a couple times she's said something snarky and Ben will be like "that's not very nice."

[ClaraOswin]

Remember the wedding, before Jill went down the aisle? JB said something about her upcoming nuptials, and she says that she fell in love with a guy just like her dad, the guy he'd picked out for her. Pretty weird, more than a little gross.

She also said something like "If you say he's good, then he's good." The whole exchange is weird.