The Duggars' moral immaturity

[DeFrauder]

The thing is that the easiest way to break is to run right to TLC and ask for help. Then TLC could actually have a spinoff not unlike Breaking Amish. That would get them out and onto a life of their own. Even a different network. Scorched earth is quick and effective.

The hard way is to languish around until their 30s living in hell and feeling guilt because they don't understand why they are such awful Christians.

So I hope for scorched earth.

[nokidsmom]

I'm sorry about your mother. An abusive father is bad enough, but not having your mother in your corner has to be just about the worst thing for a kid.

Some of the Duggar kids will rebel. It's beyond just the law of averages. At some point that smoldering cauldron of abuse, frustrated young men, anger over the loss of the show and all that went with it, along with resentment over money, houses and general favoritism will boil over. It can't not happen.

Had the Duggars stayed in frumpers and general isolation, maybe they could have succeeded in controlling their kids like some other fundie parents we know. But they pimped out the kids for a reality show and we know that reality shows almost always eat families. Just like Lance Loud said.

First off, Cochise, I am sorry about your mom too. But it's not unusual for a kid to finally decide enough is enough and stop a parent. I remember the last time, my mom slapped me, it was for basically nothing which pissed me off more than if she had done it for a reason. I then told her that if she ever raised her hand to me again, I was reporting the incident to my high school and my counselor next day. And my counselor would be someone to do something about it, she knew it and it scared her. I didn't hit her back but I used the one thing that I figured would stop her. It did and it also stopped this treatment for my sisters.

Back to the Duggars, I agree that with 19 kids, the odds of one breaking away or leaving only to not follow JB and J'chelle's way of life is pretty good even before the show was canned. I would say that now with the show over, and the loss of public admiration/prestige with the molestation scandal, things are probably going to get very, very tense in the TTH and eventually drive some of those kids out. I still think that there's a lot more out there than we know and those kids have been simmering for years.

[Rainytown]

Back to the Duggars, I agree that with 19 kids, the odds of one breaking away or leaving only to not follow JB and J'chelle's way of life is pretty good even before the show was canned. I would say that now with the show over, and the loss of public admiration/prestige with the molestation scandal, things are probably going to get very, very tense in the TTH and eventually drive some of those kids out. I still think that there's a lot more out there than we know and those kids have been simmering for years.

I had a similar experience to yours, except it was with my father when I was 16. He wanted to impress on me what a great guy he was because he didn't hit my mother unlike our great-uncle, who routinely beat his wife. My father had no problem hitting his children, however. I looked him in the eye and said, "I'll call the police the next time you hit any of us. Do you understand?"

I agree with you that things have been tense at the TTH for many years now and several of the kids have made a break for it as a result, with varying degrees of success. Smuggar moved to DC against his parents' will. It blew up in his face, but he left. JD is nowhere to be seen, or at least he wasn't when they were still filming. Jilly Muffin and derickdillard fled the country rather than deal with her parents. Bin and Jessa Blessa are content to remain tied to the apron strings as long as the cash holds out. I hope Josiah "leaves and cleaves" with his young fiancee's family. We'll know things have reached the point of no return if Jana manages to get out and stays out.

I think the only thing stopping any of the older siblings right now is the fact Jim Boob and J-Chelle have most likely threatened that any kid that breaks free/turns their backs on fundamentalism won't be able to see their brothers and sisters. We'll see who's first to call their bluff. Or call Barbara Walters and offer an hour-long tell-all interview in exchange for enough cash to pay for college and to get a start in life outside of the TTH.

[nokidsmom]

I had a similar experience to yours, except it was with my father when I was 16. He wanted to impress on me what a great guy he was because he didn't hit my mother unlike our great-uncle, who routinely beat his wife. My father had no problem hitting his children, however. I looked him in the eye and said, "I'll call the police the next time you hit any of us. Do you understand?"

I agree with you that things have been tense at the TTH for many years now and several of the kids have made a break for it as a result, with varying degrees of success. Smuggar moved to DC against his parents' will. It blew up in his face, but he left. JD is nowhere to be seen, or at least he wasn't when they were still filming. Jilly Muffin and derickdillard fled the country rather than deal with her parents. Bin and Jessa Blessa are content to remain tied to the apron strings as long as the cash holds out. I hope Josiah "leaves and cleaves" with his young fiancee's family. We'll know things have reached the point of no return if Jana manages to get out and stays out.

I think the only thing stopping any of the older siblings right now is the fact Jim Boob and J-Chelle have most likely threatened that any kid that breaks free/turns their backs on fundamentalism won't be able to see their brothers and sisters. We'll see who's first to call their bluff. Or call Barbara Walters and offer an hour-long tell-all interview in exchange for enough cash to pay for college and to get a start in life outside of the TTH.

They spanked when we were younger then resorted to slapping when we got too big to turn over their knees. My mother was the one to dole out the discipline when we were older because my dad would not touch us once me and my sisters got to puberty. When I got to high school, they had a hard time with my counselor simply because they didn't like the idea of another adult being involved and advocating for me. My folks weren't ones to routinely hit us, they had degrees of discipline but as the awareness of child abuse grew, they realized that for so called good parents who didn't beat their kids, they could still be in trouble. I knew this and played up on it when my mom slapped me for no reason.

Back to the Duggars, I agree that it was good for Smuggar to leave NWA and go to DC even if it didn't work out. Also good that JD has forged some semblance of a life independent of the family and I seriously think that Jill and Derick, while it was always a plan to go out and do missionary work, I don't think it was coincidence that Derick quit his job at Walmart so quickly and whisked his family off to the mission field. I don't know about Ben, but I suspect that Derick was very :wtf: over the molestations coming to light. I don't think he knew or if he knew, he got the full picture on what really happened nor do I think either Anna or Ben got the full story either.

I think it's only a matter of time that one or more of the kids breaks free somehow and does that "tell all" interview or book

[ShepherdontheRock]

Does anyone think that once money gets low any of the kids will be forced out? Like the Jeubs? I know that the Jeub daughters probably have a ton of advantages that the Duggars don't have, so maybe it's not exactly a fair comparison. But I'm just wondering if JB and J'Chelle would ever cut anyone off/throw them out?

[OodOnTheLoo]

Does anyone think that once money gets low any of the kids will be forced out? Like the Jeubs? I know that the Jeub daughters probably have a ton of advantages that the Duggars don't have, so maybe it's not exactly a fair comparison. But I'm just wondering if JB and J'Chelle would ever cut anyone off/throw them out?

I don't think they would throw anyone out. JB is extremely controlling, he has to be so that the kids don't start thinking for themselves. He routinely gives them his version of reality and the talking points and expects all the kids to repeat them. I'm pretty sure this is called bible time.

I don't think he is happy with Jill and Derick taking off, even for missionary work. He looked panicked when Derick told him. I think he was okay with Josh going to DC because Josh is a little JB and was close enough for strings to be pulled.

No, I predict we will see more and more desperate behavior, money schemes, lawsuits, and less courting, less freedom for the kids.

I know there is speculation about Josiah and Marjorie and I hope they have broken up. Duggarville has got to be a pressure cooker these days.

[MatthewDuggar]

Smuggar moved to DC against his parents' will. It blew up in his face, but he left.

That's debatable. I think they were more than pleased to have Smugs get a job with a hate group. The resistance was probably more of a "crap it's gonna be really bad if the molestation ever comes out"...... and it was....

[Cleopatra7]

That's debatable. I think they were more than pleased to have Smugs get a job with a hate group. The resistance was probably more of a "crap it's gonna be really bad if the molestation ever comes out"...... and it was....

I always assumed that JB and Michelle expected all their children and grandchildren to live on the Duggar compound indefinitely, so everyone could live together, never changing or growing, forever. Even going to work for a like-minded group like the FRC hundreds of miles away would have been interpreted as an unacceptable attempt to branch out.

[MatthewDuggar]

I always assumed that JB and Michelle expected all their children and grandchildren to live on the Duggar compound indefinitely, so everyone could live together, never changing or growing, forever. Even going to work for a like-minded group like the FRC hundreds of miles away would have been interpreted as an unacceptable attempt to branch out.

That was assumed, but never said. I think Smugs set a precedence for them to move on. Even though he moved away it was as if he never really "left". They were back in AR more times than I can count to visit. Granted it was for the show more often than not.

[nastyhobbitses]

I had a similar experience to yours, except it was with my father when I was 16. He wanted to impress on me what a great guy he was because he didn't hit my mother unlike our great-uncle, who routinely beat his wife. My father had no problem hitting his children, however. I looked him in the eye and said, "I'll call the police the next time you hit any of us. Do you understand?"

I agree with you that things have been tense at the TTH for many years now and several of the kids have made a break for it as a result, with varying degrees of success. Smuggar moved to DC against his parents' will. It blew up in his face, but he left. JD is nowhere to be seen, or at least he wasn't when they were still filming. Jilly Muffin and derickdillard fled the country rather than deal with her parents. Bin and Jessa Blessa are content to remain tied to the apron strings as long as the cash holds out. I hope Josiah "leaves and cleaves" with his young fiancee's family. We'll know things have reached the point of no return if Jana manages to get out and stays out.

I think the only thing stopping any of the older siblings right now is the fact Jim Boob and J-Chelle have most likely threatened that any kid that breaks free/turns their backs on fundamentalism won't be able to see their brothers and sisters. We'll see who's first to call their bluff. Or call Barbara Walters and offer an hour-long tell-all interview in exchange for enough cash to pay for college and to get a start in life outside of the TTH.

I am sure that they do this. It's a very common tactic for keeping people in cults or to coerce people to stay in abusive/forced relationships. I'm sure that rebellion didn't happen sooner because any kid who considered it would remember that leaving would mean essentially losing everyone they loved.

[nokidsmom]

That was assumed, but never said. I think Smugs set a precedence for them to move on. Even though he moved away it was as if he never really "left". They were back in AR more times than I can count to visit. Granted it was for the show more often than not.

I suspect that JB and J'chelle would very much like to keep all their children close. But Josh's job with the FRC was probably seen as overall a good thing because in their minds, Josh was making a bigger name for himself and the family, contributing to making the country more "godly" or something like that. My guess it might have been a mixed bag but Josh ended traveling between DC and NWA a lot anyway. Plus he and Anna got that fixer upper house so they were planning to move back at some point.

[JenniferJuniper]

I suspect that JB and J'chelle would very much like to keep all their children close. But Josh's job with the FRC was probably seen as overall a good thing because in their minds, Josh was making a bigger name for himself and the family, contributing to making the country more "godly" or something like that. My guess it might have been a mixed bag but Josh ended traveling between DC and NWA a lot anyway. Plus he and Anna got that fixer upper house so they were planning to move back at some point.

I think Josh N Anna were spending so much time in Arkansas for the show that it made sense for them with four kids and counting to have their own place when they were there. The renovations the Wallers and Kellers were helping with look pretty basic so I'm guessing Josh planned on a slower renovation. They are fortuante they had a place to go to. The kids certainly look happy to be back with the clan.

[Four is Enough]

Funny .I saw Josh's move to DC as an opportunity to "spread the Duggar Brand"... remember how Josh was introduced, always? "Josh Duggar, the oldest of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting"...

[lookinggoodforjesus]

I can't remember when, but in one of the early seasons JB and J'Chelle were going on about how exciting it would be for their children to all be missionaries and spread the word of Jesus all around the world and how they would have grandchildren all over the world. J'Chelle was so excited to see where her kids would end up. I don't know if that was a lie, or if something changed. You think that Jill leaving would be "exciting" for them, and not frightening. But apparently not. Perhaps the boys are allowed to leave, but the girls aren't? I firmly believe that even after they're married, they think their daughters are still their property.