Erika Shupe Miscarriage

[MamaJunebug]

I've always been good at spelling, I think in part because my teachers grades 1-8 wrote the correct spelling of a misspelled word on our work. I remember thinking the teachers who just wrote

sp?

over a wrong word were really lazy!! (That's when I was 13, don't excoriate me for a youthful prejudice.). It seriously made me appreciate my teachers even more.

Anyhoo....don't the Shupes use software that offers autocorrect or at least places little red squiggly lines beneath words it doesn't recognize? My Word program is ancient and it squiggles and then offers possible spellings as well as synonyms and more!

[AuntCloud]

Casa Shupe - the hamster cage where creativity is ground up to be used as wood shavings.

[Kasseri]

Assuming that that is the proper use for creativity, of course. Ask an adult if you are not sure. :naughty:

[rosalitta]

Those kids must be so on edge at all times. Sometimes you need to just read a comfort book to decompress. And they must be constantly terrified to use something "incorrectly."

[princessmahina]

Those kids must be so on edge at all times. Sometimes you need to just read a comfort book to decompress. And they must be constantly terrified to use something "incorrectly."

Don't forget they can use a beach towel however creatively they wish. *cheer!*

[church_of_dog]

Don't forget they can use a beach towel however creatively they wish. *cheer!*

Ok then, I think the kids should have beach towels with enjoyable and imaginative [fiction!] stories printed on them. And maybe some spelling and grammar guidelines. :stir-pot:

[DaffyDill]

I wonder what will happen to Erika's kids (more specifically the older girls at the moment) when they leave home, if such a thing is allowed. I think she said one of the girls wanted to be a cosmetologist, and the other one something else, for careers until they marry. I can imagine these poor kids might be in danger of going off the rails when older. I mean, as their lives are so rigidly controlled at the moment, and they cannot do anything they want (well, very little), or even eat what they want, when they want, does anyone else think they may have impulse control issues later on in life?

I just feel this rigid control they live under could be dangerous. With money they have earned themselves (instead of a couple of jellybeans) they may well overspend, or over eat, over anything really, once out from Erika and Bobs eagle eyes. What do any FJ'ers who grew up with a similarly restricted home life think? I know some posters thought Josh Duggar had issues with food (prior to recent developments) after leaving the home he grew up in where he may not have had much freedom in what he ate.

[MamaJunebug]

Daffy dill wrote,

I just feel this rigid control they live under could be dangerous. With money they have earned themselves (instead of a couple of jellybeans) they may well overspend, or over eat, over anything really, once out from Erika and Bobs eagle eyes. What do any FJ'ers who grew up with a similarly restricted home life think? I know some posters thought Josh Duggar had issues with food (prior to recent developments) after leaving the home he grew up in where he may not have had much freedom in what he ate.

In my opinion, it's a given. Both my parents grew up hungry. Of the 6 kids in each their families, 5 of BDJB's sibling group were obese (though not morbidly) and the 6th denied herself proper food and water to stay thin.

BMJB herself never got fat, but she unwittingly left her children with overeating habits and at least one of her grandkids. She always wanted to make the grandchild eat one more piece of bread before the child left the house, and then gave the child another piece for the road.

Of her 5 sibs only one was stocky - and was built that way - but the other 4 had drinking problems. And the stocky one married an active alcoholic.

Oh yeah, it's like the old song says, "Too much of nothing" makes people into all sorts of damaged goods. In my folks' case, it was actual poverty and lack of food that caused the deprivation. In the Shupe family, it's something that makes poverty look like the better option. IMHO of course.

[princessmahina]

Are Erika and Bob really going to pay for those two to go to some institute of higher learning and get these degrees though? Or let them go out and get jobs like other teenagers so they can pay for it themselves? Erika has mentioned before about how Karen doesn't need to get a job, because she isn't a male and that her babysitting brings her all the money she needs. We know how they feel about debt. Somehow, I think Karen's and Melanie's aspirations will not amount to much, and it will be because Erika and Bob won't support them.

[slickcat79]

I wonder what will happen to Erika's kids (more specifically the older girls at the moment) when they leave home, if such a thing is allowed. I think she said one of the girls wanted to be a cosmetologist, and the other one something else, for careers until they marry. I can imagine these poor kids might be in danger of going off the rails when older. I mean, as their lives are so rigidly controlled at the moment, and they cannot do anything they want (well, very little), or even eat what they want, when they want, does anyone else think they may have impulse control issues later on in life?

I just feel this rigid control they live under could be dangerous. With money they have earned themselves (instead of a couple of jellybeans) they may well overspend, or over eat, over anything really, once out from Erika and Bobs eagle eyes. What do any FJ'ers who grew up with a similarly restricted home life think? I know some posters thought Josh Duggar had issues with food (prior to recent developments) after leaving the home he grew up in where he may not have had much freedom in what he ate.

I could see that happening with Karen and Melanie, but I could also see them actively fleeing their parents' lifestyle at the earliest opportunity. We've seen a few different examples to indicate that things are not as blissfully happy in the home as Erika would have us believe, especially with the older girls. They're just not as beaten-down as other fundie daughters, and are at least allowed a bit more freedom in terms of their clothing and whatnot. It's hard for fundie kids, especially girls, to venture out on their own, but if the Jeub daughters are an example, it's not impossible.

[Gimme a Free RV]

"Mommy, look at the boat I made from this piece of paper!"

"Unfold that this instant! You KNOW we only use paper for writing down sermon notes!"

[mango_fandango]

Are Erika and Bob really going to pay for those two to go to some institute of higher learning and get these degrees though? Or let them go out and get jobs like other teenagers so they can pay for it themselves? Erika has mentioned before about how Karen doesn't need to get a job, because she isn't a male and that her babysitting brings her all the money she needs. We know how they feel about debt. Somehow, I think Karen's and Melanie's aspirations will not amount to much, and it will be because Erika and Bob won't support them.

Except she doesn't even get money. She gets jellybeans, hence my post count title. If the parents have to be out for an entire day, the babysitters can earn up to 44 points (if the day is counted as 8am-9pm)... 35 is equivalent to a mini flashlight (whoopty fucking doo), one bag of Skittles (those small ones, not the big sharing ones), whereas 50 points is equivalent to a pair of sunglasses. So, for the equivalent of 13 hours work, they earn a packet of Skittles, 1 starburst, and 4 M&Ms. That's less than a dollar's worth. FOR THIRTEEN FUCKING HOURS.

She also won't let the girls get jobs because they'll be out from under Erika and Bob's guidance, and she really can't be ferrying them around to jobs with all the littles in tow. She's not letting them drive till 18 either because she sees no reason to let them, and even when they can drive they'll always have a younger sibling around as a chaperone. Jeez, Erika's worse than the Duggars. Sure, the Duggars can't go out alone, but at least they learn to drive before 18.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Except she doesn't even get money. She gets jellybeans, hence my post count title. If the parents have to be out for an entire day, the babysitters can earn up to 44 points (if the day is counted as 8am-9pm)... 35 is equivalent to a mini flashlight (whoopty fucking doo), one bag of Skittles (those small ones, not the big sharing ones), whereas 50 points is equivalent to a pair of sunglasses. So, for the equivalent of 13 hours work, they earn a packet of Skittles, 1 starburst, and 4 M&Ms. That's less than a dollar's worth. FOR THIRTEEN FUCKING HOURS.

She also won't let the girls get jobs because they'll be out from under Erika and Bob's guidance, and she really can't be ferrying them around to jobs with all the littles in tow. She's not letting them drive till 18 either because she sees no reason to let them, and even when they can drive they'll always have a younger sibling around as a chaperone. Jeez, Erika's worse than the Duggars. Sure, the Duggars can't go out alone, but at least they learn to drive before 18.

Is this form of free babysitting for 7 kids for 13 hours legal? Or are minors not protected in this way? I don't have younger siblings so I never experienced being made to babysit. :think:

[mango_fandango]

Is this form of free babysitting for 7 kids for 13 hours legal? Or are minors not protected in this way? I don't have younger siblings so I never experienced being made to babysit. :think:

I don't think it happens often. At the moment it seems like all that happens is the weekly date night. She does mention that if Bob and Erika go away over night (a rarity, Erika says- I think it's when they go away to celebrate their wedding anniversary), they do have a 22 year old formerly homeschooled babysitter. No ebil public school heathen graduates allowed. They used the rewards system then. And actually, this is how the points system goes for the 2-day scenario:

So we give 5 points for each of three block of time over the course of an entire day from 8:00 am - 12:00, 12:00-4:00, and 4:00 - 9:00 pm. So over the course of 2 days the children have the opportunity to earn up to 30 points, and the babysitters as much as 44 points in a day!

On the very rare occasion that we are away over night (only once-a-year at this point), we do also hire a 22-year-old formerly homeschooled young lady baby sitter to come and be an extra potential emergency support, and entertainment or the children. We recently implemented the points system while our hired babysitter was over for the weekend and she was absolutely thrilled with the points system and so impressed with how well it worked for everyone. *cheer!*

So the equivalent of less than a dollar's worth of sweets is earned over 2 days. Ugh, this is even worse.

[JillyO]

You think the "formerly homeschooled young lady baby sitter" is getting paid in jelly beans?

[LovelyLuna]

I wonder what will happen to Erika's kids (more specifically the older girls at the moment) when they leave home, if such a thing is allowed. I think she said one of the girls wanted to be a cosmetologist, and the other one something else, for careers until they marry. I can imagine these poor kids might be in danger of going off the rails when older. I mean, as their lives are so rigidly controlled at the moment, and they cannot do anything they want (well, very little), or even eat what they want, when they want, does anyone else think they may have impulse control issues later on in life?

I just feel this rigid control they live under could be dangerous. With money they have earned themselves (instead of a couple of jellybeans) they may well overspend, or over eat, over anything really, once out from Erika and Bobs eagle eyes. What do any FJ'ers who grew up with a similarly restricted home life think? I know some posters thought Josh Duggar had issues with food (prior to recent developments) after leaving the home he grew up in where he may not have had much freedom in what he ate.

I worry as well. I hope that along with any negative tendencies they have, that they also developed some cooping skills that will help them later in life. if they can live through Erika’s hell and emerge on the outside they could have the chance to be super strong people. A perfectionist makes a great employee. someone who is able to perform under pressure is also highly valued. I could go on but basically what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I hope all of the kids manage to be healthy adults despite their childhoods. and therapy, lots and lots of therapy.

[HoneyBunny]

I can easily imagine that those kids are nervous wrecks living in that kind of controlled environment. Sure, I'm a big proponent of kids needing structure, but Erika is way beyond that. I do believe there is an issue with either a past trauma or some mental Illness and I think that the kids can count on some of the same.

JMHO, of course.

Also, Erika's all about modesty but her blog and her calling attention to herself and her organization (even her beauty routine) is the most immodest behavior imaginable. It's not all about eye traps Erika. Your writing is a brain trap.

[princessmahina]

I thought Karen was able to babysit for certain, preapproved families sometimes? Or am I confusing her with another fundie teenager? And what about the jobs Erika says she lets Karen do "for money" that aren't part of her regular rotation of drudgery? Has she gotten rid of everything in favor of those nasty jelly beans?

At any rate, Erika did post something on facebook about Karen sewing head bands to sell this summer. So maybe those will sell alright and she'll have enough to escape to normal relatives.

[mango_fandango]

I can easily imagine that those kids are nervous wrecks living in that kind of controlled environment. Sure, I'm a big proponent of kids needing structure, but Erika is way beyond that. I do believe there is an issue with either a past trauma or some mental Illness and I think that the kids can count on some of the same.

JMHO, of course.

I agree. I do really well when I have structure and loads of things going on in my life, but then I also do perfectly fine when I do fuck all during the holidays. When she talks in her scheduling summer post about what "wing-it" summers were like... I'm not surprised her kids were confused. They're used to a strict schedule during their school time, so total freedom would've been mind-blowing to them. If I have kids, I can totally imagine coming up with some kind of routine (e.g. up at 8am, school's at 9am, dinner at 6pm, bed at 8pm) or whatever, but nothing hugely rigid. As we all know, it's due to control. She also believes that the kids can't manage their relationships with one another on their own, so she has to be there to facilitate. This, and so many other aspects in her life, are also major trust issues. (Which seem to apply to all fundies, but particularly the Maxwells).

Princessmahina: You must be confusing Karen with someone else. Erika would NEVER let one of her kids go out alone, no matter where. From what I've gathered, the types of thing Karen does for money are what Erika terms "big jobs"...

such as cleaning the bathrooms, rotating seasonal clothes for the kids, weeding the yard, or cleaning out and re-organizing a closet

and also these

They rake leaves, pull weeds, wipe out the refrigerator or freezer, clean bathrooms, clean the window blinds, wash windows, mend clothing, wash or dust large shelf units, thoroughly scrub and clean the toaster or microwave, etc.

[princessmahina]

I agree. I do really well when I have structure and loads of things going on in my life, but then I also do perfectly fine when I do fuck all during the holidays. When she talks in her scheduling summer post about what "wing-it" summers were like... I'm not surprised her kids were confused. They're used to a strict schedule during their school time, so total freedom would've been mind-blowing to them. If I have kids, I can totally imagine coming up with some kind of routine (e.g. up at 8am, school's at 9am, dinner at 6pm, bed at 8pm) or whatever, but nothing hugely rigid. As we all know, it's due to control. She also believes that the kids can't manage their relationships with one another on their own, so she has to be there to facilitate. This, and so many other aspects in her life, are also major trust issues. (Which seem to apply to all fundies, but particularly the Maxwells).

Princessmahina: You must be confusing Karen with someone else. Erika would NEVER let one of her kids go out alone, no matter where. From what I've gathered, the types of thing Karen does for money are what Erika terms "big jobs"...

and also these

I knew I remembered the extra jobs, but it makes sense that Erika wouldn't let anyone leave. Thanks for clearing that up :)

[apandaaries]

I knew I remembered the extra jobs, but it makes sense that Erika wouldn't let anyone leave. Thanks for clearing that up :)

Scrubbing and cleaning toasters. Fiction is a limited treat; their homeschooling is a joke; they scrub Erika's house until she's *beaming* and that constitutes their life preparation. Oh! And bible time.

It's interesting to wonder what f'ed Erika up so badly that this is the life she clings to and praises. Kind of similar to DQ Duggar -- what messes up the mind so much that these lifestyles make sense or seem holy?

[defraudingjezebel]

I get the impression that Bob is not the brightest bulb on the tree either. He's posted something about the Jade Helm military training exercise on Facebook, and appears to be someone who got his brain from Faux News. Those people are gullible or stupid or both.

Late reply, but I totally agree. Remember the post about "pheromones in the perfume" BS? The guy sounds like he isn't the sharpest or most discerning person. And while Erika isn't a jeopardy champion by any means, I think she is smart enough to maintain control of the household by manipulating people and ideas to suit her agenda. She is running the house 100% and calls most, if not all of the shots. I think of Erika as being the opposite of the meek Teri Maxwell type under the guise of submission and meekness.

[DaffyDill]

Are Erika and Bob really going to pay for those two to go to some institute of higher learning and get these degrees though? Or let them go out and get jobs like other teenagers so they can pay for it themselves? Erika has mentioned before about how Karen doesn't need to get a job, because she isn't a male and that her babysitting brings her all the money she needs. We know how they feel about debt. Somehow, I think Karen's and Melanie's aspirations will not amount to much, and it will be because Erika and Bob won't support them.

I don't know that Erika and Bob would pay for Karen and Melanie to do any kind of course either, after they graduate from the Shupe Schedule High School, but I am positive she said one wanted to be a cosmetologist and the other something else as "for now" jobs until they marry. I remember being surprised that Erika had even considered letting them have careers of any sort. I can't find where she said it now, and it's bugging me.

[Mama Mia]

I worry as well. I hope that along with any negative tendencies they have, that they also developed some cooping skills that will help them later in life. if they can live through Erika’s hell and emerge on the outside they could have the chance to be super strong people. A perfectionist makes a great employee. someone who is able to perform under pressure is also highly valued. I could go on but basically what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I hope all of the kids manage to be healthy adults despite their childhoods. and therapy, lots and lots of therapy.

I think it would depend on the job. It's been my experience that employees who have been raised in a super controlling atmosphere, or just have a personal need for an extremely high level of structure and perfection, are horrible employees.

If they are employed in a position where every single thing is laid out for them , in minute detail, they might do fine - but anything requiring actual thought or prioritizing tasks on their own, or any kind of flexibility -- and they fall completely apart. As a boss I don't want to spend my time micro- managing my staffs time. I want them to be able to figure it out on their own. I don't want to have to explain every tiny little detail of how to do things, or listen to them fret and dither and miss deadlines if they can't get something 10000% perfect and there is some imperceptible flaw. It's exhausting. I want grown ups who can take some initiative. Before I became disabled I noticed this kind of behavior was increasing -- I blame the helicopter parents in main stream society. I can't imagine how these incredibly over- scheduled, over-sheltered Shupe kids will make it as adults if the average secular level of over- sheltering / over- scheduling is harming young workers! They'll be absolutely paralyzed when expected to make an independent decision.

Note : Not all young workers, of course. Not even all young workers of helicopter parents - but the combination of a passive personality and lack of experience making decisions growing up -- yikes.

[princessmahina]

I don't know that Erika and Bob would pay for Karen and Melanie to do any kind of course either, after they graduate from the Shupe Schedule High School, but I am positive she said one wanted to be a cosmetologist and the other something else as "for now" jobs until they marry. I remember being surprised that Erika had even considered letting them have careers of any sort. I can't find where she said it now, and it's bugging me.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. She said Karen wanted to be a cosmetologist, and that Melanie wanted to do something techy, like graphic design or computer animation. Just until they have children, of course. Because there's obviously no way that a woman could hold a career AND have children and do both successfully.