Get your FFRREEEEE Moody book......

[treemom]

Well I am done. And that was just dreadful.

[treemom]

I am actually am surprised that I could feel any sadder about Maxhell, but I do. Those poor kids. You can seem just glimpses of who they could have become if they had not been stunted and mutated. They are like the bonsai tree of kids. But with none of the aesthetic value and all the sadness because they are human beings.

[formergothardite]

Steve, I mean Mr Moody is such a dick.

For some reason I really can't recall much about this book. I only vaguely remember the bad kid at the dairy farm, it is like this book is so awful my brain doesn't want to remember it. But the one thing that I do remember clearly is that Mr. Moody is such a dick.

[church_of_dog]

You mean, if your child at 10 heard a loud, strange noise at night, he wouldn't run into your room and say "Mom and Dad and Mom, I beg your forgiveness, but I have a matter of utmost importance!"?

Fixed that for you.

For fucks sake this is horrible writing.

---

“We’re sorry to hear about your health troubles,†Mom replied. “We want to offer to care for Honey until you can come home. Your house is right around the corner from us, and the children can easily walk there every day. They really like Honey and would be happy to help.â€

“Then I will accept. But I’m afraid that would be a lot of trouble.â€

Dad said, “Mrs. Clifton, we would like to take care of Honey.â€

Mrs. Clifton smiled. “You all are too kind. I have a question. Are you Christians?â€

“We are,†Dad agreed, “yes. I’m only a sinner saved by the blood of Jesus and trusting Him.â€

“I knew it. I could tell from the moment your family walked in. I knew you were not an ordinary family. I, too, know Him as my personal Savior. I would be very grateful if you would care for Honey.â€

--who cares? Who cares if the person feeding and watering your dog is a Christian? It isn't like the dog is going to get saved. And how can she tell they are saved?

Actually I would never want someone who is a Christian to take care of my dogs or cats, unless I already knew them and trusted them. I had an evangelical neighbor once who made it very clear he did not believe that dogs had souls. I just couldn't imagine that he could ever interact with animals in any truly kind or empathetic way given those beliefs. I don't know how much was this one guy's wacko and how much was his religion.

On the other hand, our local veterinarian who I like so much that if I ever needed surgery I would prefer him over the local hospital ;) , is also a religious man. But since I know him and his kindness towards animals, I wouldn't have the same concern.

[Brightonbelle]

I read the first three pages. I had to stop, it is just so BORING. And so poorly written. And I don't know if it's because I'm familiar with the Maxwells and the book is so obviously a thinly veiled version of them, but it felt impossible to 'lose' myself in the story.

[alba]

Hey, did you guys know a run can be great not just for exercise but also for what some might call socialising, er, fellowship? I didn't until Sarah told me in her latest blog post.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

“We’re sorry to hear about your health troubles,†Mom replied. “We want to offer to care for Honey until you can come home. Your house is right around the corner from us, and the children can easily walk there every day. They really like Honey and would be happy to help.â€

I just remembered that when they tried to return Honey to her home Dad says the house is around the corner but then he says they should drive there. I remember at the time being struck by WTF? why would you waste the gas driving the van around the corner? but "the children can easily walk there every day." OK.

[Elegant Mess]

Hey, did you guys know a run can be great not just for exercise but also for what some might call socialising, er, fellowship? I didn't until Sarah told me in her latest blog post.

Does anyone else here find it amusing that we see no pictures of anyone actually running while fellowshipping? Couldn't one of them have stopped and taken a picture of the others? Before this post, I was so unaware that running was good for more than exercising, that I need to see an example of this so that I can follow their example. :roll:

[Georgiana]

I'm a runner, and I wouldn't be opposed to adding some fellowshipping in my runs.

Mostly because summer has come early here, so all the guys on the trails are shirtless and in shorts. Wouldn't mind having some sweet, sweet fellowship with those guys at all.

[blessalessi]

Can we discuss Velveeta again please? :D

I think I thought it was a firmer version of Dairylea or Laughing Cow cheese spread.

Now I am re reading I see that Mollie ussd a 2lb block of it to make her dip. Wtf??!!

2Lb of "processed cheese product" microwave melted into 2 cans of chilli beans. Christ on a cracker!!!! Thats one fuckload of cholesterol!! And along with one bag of tortilla chips and one box of premixed brownies, that was dinner for the family. Fuck me, that is one shitty diet they have there!

[twin2]

Can we discuss Velveeta again please? :D

I think I thought it was a firmer version of Dairylea or Laughing Cow cheese spread.

Now I am re reading I see that Mollie ussd a 2lb block of it to make her dip. Wtf??!!

2Lb of "processed cheese product" microwave melted into 2 cans of chilli beans. Christ on a cracker!!!! Thats one fuckload of cholesterol!! And along with one bag of tortilla chips and one box of premixed brownies, that was dinner for the family. Fuck me, that is one shitty diet they have there!

This is made out to be a Moody family favorite. Oddly enough towards the end of the book, when Mollie screws up her cookies, her mother encourages her by saying when she first got married she only knew how to cook packaged food. But now, thanks to encouragement for Dad Almighty, she has learned to cook fresh food from scratch. Still trying to figure out what is fresh or from scratch about this....

I'll be honest, my grandma used to make a heck of a good mac and cheese with velveeta...

[FundieFarmer]

I'm going to admit that my boyfriend freshman year introduced me to that recipe and it's a guilty pleasure. It's so terrible and I feel my very arteries crying with every bite...but I do love it.

As a whole meal, though? No way. As a dessert or occasional snack? Sign me right up.

If we are our diets, I'm fast, cheap, and easy...but I suspect I still cook better than Mrs. Moody!

[Georgiana]

I used to be able to only cook with processed foods...but now, I can cook with Velveeta!

#justMoodyThings

[mango_fandango]

Back to the post about running... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU RUN IN A SKIRT AS LONG AS THEIRS? It just doesn't seem sensible or safe to me at all.

[Maggie Mae]

For all of their freakishness, I am very glad that both women and men are allowed to exercise. As far as I can tell, Zsu makes her girls stay home with her while the boys run off camping and beingoutside having fun. (I'm sorry. I know this is the Maxhell thread.) Outside doing things that are pleasing to the Lord, while having what some people consider f-n.

However. I also see so much lost potential! Let them join a running club. Train for a race or a triathlon. Let them DO something with their spoiled, privileged, stay at home lives. Even a hobby is better than nothing. Anything. And if Sarah is so privileged to be allowed to have someone pay for her rent, her clothes, her food, and she has virtually no obligations, why can't she figure out how to write a damn book?

I'm not actually jealous. Well, maybe a little. I'd like to be able to stay at home and have a leisurely morning of dusting ceiling fans, going for bike rides, hanging out with little kids, eating burritos (sorry, I really like burritos. I actually make my own and freeze them. Just like the maxwells. I have both bean and meat. And I use spices.) Going out for ice cream and working on my childrens books.

However the blah of that would get to me.

[Georgiana]

They wont be able to join a running club. I'm in one, and unless they are in some sort of fundie running club, running clubs are quite defrauding! Short shorts! Shirtless men! Shirtless women! Women in tight pants! Men in tight pants! Snacks being offered that are larger than two animal crackers!

As far as Steve is concerned, it might as well be run by Satan.

[Maggie Mae]

They wont be able to join a running club. I'm in one, and unless they are in some sort of fundie running club, running clubs are quite defrauding! Short shorts! Shirtless men! Shirtless women! Women in tight pants! Men in tight pants! Snacks being offered that are larger than two animal crackers!

As far as Steve is concerned, it might as well be run by Satan.

I'm in one too. I'm just saying. Let them have some sort of hobby. And what the hell is wrong with people wearing short shorts to exercise? It's the human body! Designed by God. (Well, according to them.)

[DaffyDill]

Dad said, “Mrs. Clifton, we would like to take care of Honey.â€

In my head, that line always sounds menacing. It's as if Mr Moody has made up his mind they will take care of the dog, and that damn woman had better let them, because he's a man, and he says so.

Like this:

“We’re sorry to hear about your health troubles,†Mom replied. “We want to offer to care for Honey until you can come home. Your house is right around the corner from us, and the children can easily walk there every day. They really like Honey and would be happy to help.â€

“Then I will accept. But I’m afraid that may be a lot of trouble...?â€

Dad took a step toward Mrs Clifton, his eyes fixed upon hers and said sternly, “Mrs. Clifton, we would like to take care of Honey.â€

Mrs. Clifton stepped back and smiled nervously. “You all are too kind. I have a question. Are you Christians?†She had run across these patriarchal fundy types before, and loathed their sexist belief system.

Maybe I could turn Sarah's book into "Horror with the Moodys". Hmmm...

[Brightonbelle]

It already is a horror in my opinion.

[PearlKrabs]

For all of their freakishness, I am very glad that both women and men are allowed to exercise. As far as I can tell, Zsu makes her girls stay home with her while the boys run off camping and beingoutside having fun. (I'm sorry. I know this is the Maxhell thread.) Outside doing things that are pleasing to the Lord, while having what some people consider f-n.

However. I also see so much lost potential! Let them join a running club. Train for a race or a triathlon. Let them DO something with their spoiled, privileged, stay at home lives. Even a hobby is better than nothing. Anything. And if Sarah is so privileged to be allowed to have someone pay for her rent, her clothes, her food, and she has virtually no obligations, why can't she figure out how to write a damn book?

I'm not actually jealous. Well, maybe a little. I'd like to be able to stay at home and have a leisurely morning of dusting ceiling fans, going for bike rides, hanging out with little kids, eating burritos (sorry, I really like burritos. I actually make my own and freeze them. Just like the maxwells. I have both bean and meat. And I use spices.) Going out for ice cream and working on my childrens books.

However the blah of that would get to me.

To the bolded: That comment was eye-opening for me. I'd definitely thought of the Botkinettes in that context, but not the Maxwell girls. But it applies to them, too. They've been raised to be these bored princesses who are just too pure and godly to be out in the world with the rest of us degenerates.

[albanuadh_1]

How do you fellowship while running? How do you fellowship with relatives who believe exactly what you do? :?

[alba]

How do you fellowship while running? How do you fellowship with relatives who believe exactly what you do? :?

Who else would you fellowship with? Other people might give you ... *gasp* ideas.

[Trynn]

In my head, that line always sounds menacing. It's as if Mr Moody has made up his mind they will take care of the dog, and that damn woman had better let them, because he's a man, and he says so.

Like this:

Maybe I could turn Sarah's book into "Horror with the Moodys". Hmmm...

Hats what I was going for in my rewrite on the last page, but I don't think it came across well. You did it much better.

[blessalessi]

Im enjoying the rewrites!

I am still annoyed by Sarah's writing, particularly the cooking vocabulary. Why is every ingredient "dumped" into the bowl? Dumped!?! :twisted: Never tipped, poured, emptied, always dumped.

[alba]

Im enjoying the rewrites!

I am still annoyed by Sarah's writing, particularly the cooking vocabulary. Why is every ingredient "dumped" into the bowl? Dumped!?! :twisted: Never tipped, poured, emptied, always dumped.

And this is why she needs an actual editor rather than just a proofreader. All authors tend towards using certain words, but a good editor catches these things. A certain level of self-awareness and familiarity with Ctrl+F can help writers find these things themselves, but I doubt it's ever even crossed Sarah's mind that this is something to be fixed.