SAHD blog- the Boyer sisters

[Mommit]

Jessica & Levi were engaged for less than 3 months according to dates given on the blog.

[jozina]

Is the rolling out the carpet and the groom spreading rose petals a thing somewhere/in some places?  The "Oh the funny words of children" about a niece thinking it made Gabe the flower girl? I'd have said the same.

[closetcagebaby]

Thank you guys for this rabbit hole; it's truly wild.

I can't believe that they're only a couple degrees of separation away from white supremacists...well, okay, I can believe it. I really side-eye anyone that into the wonderful ladylike past without some degree of self reflection...

I'd still rather be these girls than say, Nurie Rodrigues, and honestly I do recognize a bit of my teen self in them. I read a lot of (decidedly NOT PG) historical fiction and had many emotional meltdowns over my life path not going as I thought. 

[princessmahina]

23 hours ago, jozina said:

Is the rolling out the carpet and the groom spreading rose petals a thing somewhere/in some places?  The "Oh the funny words of children" about a niece thinking it made Gabe the flower girl? I'd have said the same.

I'd have said the same thing too. It seemed strange to me. I'm not sure if it's a custom where they live-- Kentucky, right? or southern Ohio?

[ViolaSebastian]

32 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

I'd have said the same thing too. It seemed strange to me. I'm not sure if it's a custom where they live-- Kentucky, right? or southern Ohio?

I believe they're from southern Ohio. I've seen the rolling the aisle runner (used to be in the wedding biz, so I know the names of these things ) before, but never the groom spreading petals. 

[jozina]

They are fast becoming my favourite fundies to hate. So smug!! They have a new video pontificating about modesty standards and how the good Lord laid it on their hearts to dress modest rather than their parents having rules and blah blah blah. They also get all nice and judgmental about women who may be dressed modestly but not have a modest heart. So like judging other women for wearing skinny jeans if they don't deem them flattering to their body type (which I read somewhere on their blog) or posting multiple photos of yourself twirling around in the same outfit or showing off some mundane part of your makeup? Vain and smug come to mind with them well before that modesty they preach.

[itsme]

The whole modesty thing has always been a mystery to me. 

If modesty is a matter of the heart and not of actual clothing guidelines, how do they know what's modest? If there is a woman in a bikini and that woman says she is modest, wouldn't they have to agree? since its in her heart that she is modest? (I'm fairly certain that they wouldn't say she is modest, but that contradicts everything they say in that very arrogant video)

Also, how is having a blog, dedicated to fashion and lifestyle, modest? posting hundreds of photos of yourself in outfits and on stages performing, how ist that modest?

The whole concept of modesty is unbelievably backwards to me. If you teach your daughters there is something to cover, don't you, by default, teach your sons that there is something to look at?

I had never even heard about the concept of modesty before coming to the US as an exchange student almost 10 years ago. It baffled me then, and it still baffles me now.

[Lurky]

5 hours ago, jozina said:

or posting multiple photos of yourself twirling around in the same outfit or showing off some mundane part of your makeup?

 

1 hour ago, itsme said:

Also, how is having a blog, dedicated to fashion and lifestyle, modest? posting hundreds of photos of yourself in outfits and on stages performing, how ist that modest?

To me, it's the overkill of SO.MANY.PHOTOS. all from slightly different angles, or in different poses, across all these "modesty" blogs, that does it.  If it were truly about "hey, look at my clothes", they could manage with a front, back and side view - hell, if it really were about the clothes, they wouldn't need the faces in.   

But no!  It's ultimately all about "look how pretty I am", as they twirl and dance, look pensive, laugh, go for the "spritual" look, sit on a log, then sit on a gate.  It's not about being a fashion blogger, because the way fashion photography happens, it's rare to see multiple pictures of the same outfit, without changes.  It's absolutely about "look at me", and play-acting, and demonstrating what a deep and meaningful person you are by showing your face in a range of expressions. "Look!  I'm zany and carefree" says the obligatory autumn shots of every modest girl throwing leaves.  "Look!  I'm thinking really deep thoughts!", as she gazes into the middle distance.

 

 

(OK, OK, maybe I'm being really harsh - maybe it's just that no one's ever taught them to edit, or that 1 great picture can say a lot more than 6 quite good ones.  And I guess that circles back round to lack of critical thinking, and not being exposed to other people's ideas - so taking an art GCSE (school course for 14-5 year olds) might include the advice to only show one's best work, for example.   But ultimately I think "modesty" is code for "look at me!  I'm better than you!")

[FlamingFundie]

I live just a stone's throw from these girls and have my whole life. Most weddings have the unrolling of the aisle runner. But Ive never seen a groom do the petals. Usually the groom escorts the mothers, and there is a flower girl/dog, if any flower petals at all.

[Snarfblatt]

I don't understand how you can tell looking at someone whether they have modesty in their heart or not. I mean I dress fairly modestly because I like my skirts to hit my knee and I tend to wear less form fitting tops mostly because that's what makes me feel good. I am also a godless heathen but again you wouldn't know that by looking at me.

[Lurky]

3 hours ago, FlamingFundie said:

Usually the groom escorts the mothers, and there is a flower girl/dog, if any flower petals at all.

Flower dog?  Like a dig walks down the aisle with a basket of flowers round its neck with a hole in it, so the petals trickle out?  I can totally see how dog lovers would go for this, and a really well trained dog would be adorable, but how does it work?  And are dogs allowed in church?  (I really love hearing about the customs in different places)

[FlamingFundie]

No, usually (and this is what I did during my first wedding...) the flower dog might carry a basket of flowers if they are able to do so, but usually its more like a garland of flowers around the dog's neck and they run up the aisle.

And some dogs would have to be approved, I suppose. I know at my husband's Catholic church, dogs are allowed for private events like that. The priest even does a blessing over dogs once or twice a year, so people can bring their pets to him to be blessed.

[Lurky]

@FlamingFundie Thanks!  What happens to the dog for the ceremony?  Doesn't the singing/music bother them?  Or do you hand them over a friend at the back who can take them out if needs be?

[FlamingFundie]

Depends on the dog. I assume that if someone knows their dog doesn't like people/music, they won't be involved. We had a bridesmaid and a groomsman hold each dog (we had two at the time-- a ring-bearer and a flower pup).

[Palimpsest]

On 11/24/2016 at 0:20 PM, Lurky said:

Flower dog?  Like a dig walks down the aisle with a basket of flowers round its neck with a hole in it, so the petals trickle out?  I can totally see how dog lovers would go for this, and a really well trained dog would be adorable, but how does it work?  And are dogs allowed in church?  (I really love hearing about the customs in different places)

This is a dog people thing, not solely an American thing, to have dogs at a wedding.    I'm aware of a couple of UK weddings that had dogs attending the ceremony.  At one the bridesmaids walked them down the aisle and the poor little pooches looked really uncomfortable in their jackets and bowties.  And then they whined during the vows - it wasn't good.

On 11/24/2016 at 0:51 PM, FlamingFundie said:

No, usually (and this is what I did during my first wedding...) the flower dog might carry a basket of flowers if they are able to do so, but usually its more like a garland of flowers around the dog's neck and they run up the aisle.

And some dogs would have to be approved, I suppose. I know at my husband's Catholic church, dogs are allowed for private events like that. The priest even does a blessing over dogs once or twice a year, so people can bring their pets to him to be blessed.

It sounds cute with the right dog.  Not every venue/church approves. Certainly not all the guests approve either!  

Many Catholic and Anglican/Episcopalian Churches do a Blessing of the Animals ceremony around the Feast of St. Francis.  There's a special Liturgy for it.

I can go one better though.  Here in the US my therapy dogs and I formed part of an honor guard at the funeral of a person who had dedicated much of his life to dog rescue.  We and many other dogs/owners attended the (secular) funeral and the grave site ceremony by special permission of the funeral home and cemetery.  It was very moving.

[meep]

On 11/20/2016 at 6:30 PM, RealLifeMidwife said:

I went down this rabbit hole the other week after reading the Boyer sisters thread.  Her misspelling of the word dirndl drove me insane, not to mention her consistently referring to "European culture" as if there is only one culture on the entire continent. 

She says she has a degree in German, so that is particularly interesting. O.o

[BobTheWalrus]

On 19/10/2016 at 2:31 PM, Lurky said:

OMG, I followed that link to Ayla's interview, and I don't know what I'm more sad about - the Filipina interviewers question (what the what?) or the answer:
 

The death of white culture?  The death of the white race? Jesus as a red-head - and this...

I can't even!!!  We all know there's practically no one left in Northern Europe with fair skin, blue eyes, fair hair etc.  I've no idea how blue-eyed blonde me has missed the purges at all, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time, and I'm certainly glad there's never been a history of white people who look like me trying to eradicate Native Americans, Aboriginal Australians, Māori etc etc etc.....

aaaarrrggghhhhhh "fair" in that context means "attractive" or similar, not blond! Like the phrase  which sometimes comes up in older christian songs "the fairest of the fair" doesn't mean "the blondest of the blond, with blue eyes to boot". Just....no. Fundies so often demonstrate this complete lack of contextual knowledge of the things they are talking about. Like this thing about being a "helpmeet" complete nonsense word. It should be "a help(er) meet", as in a wife is a helper suitable for her husband. "Meet" means suitable, appropriate, fit for purpose.  It's a small point but it throws out the fundie definition of a wife as a quiet, cowering little "helpmeet" whose only role is cooking and babymaking.  For some men that might be a "meet" helper, but others may consider a very different kind of wife "meet".

[JermajestyDuggar]

I am just imagining cat people trying to include their kitties in their wedding. The cats would basically say, "fuck you all with a scratching post!" And claw the shit out of anyone who tries to put a tiny dress on it.

[Lurky]

I'd actually love to read if Brigid could talk about how she adapted to her first month of married life, if she could be as honest about her feelings as Jessica can be...  Of course I find the whole Courtship stuff, and 0-60 on relationships is horrible, BUT if they're wanting to help other girls in their situation, giving them a heads up about what it's like would be helpful.  

Watching the video about modesty.  Saying their parents didn't tell them about modesty in the written intro, but then in the video, they were told about it by their mother, and given books about it by them.  So sad they're talking about being told their were given flexibility, because they didn't have to have hard rules like X inches above the knee - but that's crazy because Charlotte had to ask the parents' permission to wear jeans, eg.

("Our parents never gave us rules... but they'd pray for us".  I'm pretty sure that if one of them went to the parents and said "I want to wear a shorter skirt", and the parents started praying for them to make the right decisions, and that they'd see what was right etc, the kids would pretty quickly get the idea about what was right or wrong.)

[Nina]

On 20.11.2016 at 9:05 PM, formergothardite said:

But she is also the sort of person who writes:

 

Absolutely none of this sounds like Brigid was a heartless bridezilla,  it sounds like Jessica was upset that her relationship ended and then became extremely bitter that Brigid found happiness and got to be the first one married. And it sounds like Jessica being so angry about this caused a lot of problems in the relationship with her sister. From what she wrote it seems very likely that she could swing from happy to sad as she tried to repress her feelings of bitterness and jealousy. 

I'm just not seeing the cruel Brigid who rubbed her sister's face in the fact that she was getting married signs. I think they all sound extremely immature and maybe Brigid did make things worse because of that, but it also sounds like Jessica was very, very bitter about not getting to be the first one married and held Brigid responsible for all her unhappiness. 

But this is Jessica talking. We do not know if Brigid did not think the same entitled thoughts about her being the one who deserves it all. She did not even have to be cruel. Just thoughtless. 

And being a bridezilla, trust me on this one, does not require jealousy or greediness. It largely depends on the fact wether or not the person is a perfectionist. And Brigid comes across as the mother of all perfectionists.

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, Nina said:

But this is Jessica talking. We do not know if Brigid did not think the same entitled thoughts about her being the one who deserves it all. She did not even have to be cruel. Just thoughtless. 

And being a bridezilla, trust me on this one, does not require jealousy or greediness. It largely depends on the fact wether or not the person is a perfectionist. And Brigid comes across as the mother of all perfectionists.

Frankly, I'm just confused as to why you are trying to blame Brigid when it is pretty damn clear the parents are to blame for creating this world where Jessica spent her whole life thinking she would be the first married and struggled to cope when it didn't happen. It sounds like Brigid had to do literally nothing except get married first for Jessica to feel this way.

Could you quote the signs from the blog that show Brigid would be the sort of person who would completely ignore Jessica's feelings, parade around her happiness and achievements and hold it into Jessica's face that she was getting married? Those are all things you said were the most likely thing to have had happened, but reading the blog, it really just seems like what Jessica wrote is exactly what happened and it wasn't Brigid who caused problems. What parts have I missed that showed Brigid probably did all that? 

[Nina]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Frankly, I'm just confused as to why you are trying to blame Brigid when it is pretty damn clear the parents are to blame for creating this world where Jessica spent her whole life thinking she would be the first married and struggled to cope when it didn't happen. It sounds like Brigid had to do literally nothing except get married first for Jessica to feel this way.

Could you quote the signs from the blog that show Brigid would be the sort of person who would completely ignore Jessica's feelings, parade around her happiness and achievements and hold it into Jessica's face that she was getting married? Those are all things you said were the most likely thing to have had happened, but reading the blog, it really just seems like what Jessica wrote is exactly what happened and it wasn't Brigid who caused problems. What parts have I missed that showed Brigid probably did all that? 

The Parents are insane. No disputed there. . 

[Gabe]

1 hour ago, Nina said:

The Parents are insane. No disputed there. . 

How do you know? There is very little info on the blog about the parents.

[ladyamylynn]

1 hour ago, Gabe said:

How do you know? There is very little info on the blog about the parents.

Are you... That Gabe?

[FlamingFundie]

4 minutes ago, ladyamylynn said:

Are you... That Gabe?

Doubt it, but going to keep up on this thread for a while.... *popcorn*