Alyssa Bates/Webster is wearing PANTS!!

[imokit]

I guess you could say that Alyssa's rationale for marriage was getting into pants...in both senses of the expression.

I'm conflicted about the whole "dress by our rules when you're home" thing. On the one hand, I would dress more modestly or in accordance with cultural/religious norms if I were going to the home of a very religious person, since it's just simple respect. On the other, it seems very controlling with regard to the other kids. I mean, of course they'll see pictures of Alyssa romping about in skinny jeans, and they'll see her dressed like that when they go to visit her, but it seems like Kelly and Gil don't want the younger kids to think "well, Alyssa wears jeans and tank tops and cuts/dyes her hair, and she's still a Bible-believing Christian, so why can't I dress like that?"

I think that Gill & Kelly argue "my house, my rules."  Thus when visiting everyone has to follow their rules.  I don't think its personal, and though controlling its not overly controlling.

Its like leaving your shoes at the front door.  Some people ardently follow it, and think people who wear shoes in the house are disgusting.  For those who do wear shoes in the house, when visiting those you think its awful, its only polite to take your shoes off.

The skirt thing is a more extreme version of that.

[crazysnark]

Gil and Kelly have never said (publicly) that their children have to live by their standards when they visit. They did say in this house you follow our rules. I took that as members they are still supporting and who still LIVE in the house. Im sure Alyssa always thought wearing skirts only was stupid but since she was apart of their household she had to live by the rules. And actually Alyssa does dress less conservative even around her parents. Does anyone remember the dress she wore to Michaela's wedding rehearsal dinner? NIKE!!! 

 

As far as maybe dressing in skirts around her family, I totally get it. I grew up very conservative christian and when around my family, I never wear tank tops or shorts just because I don't feel the need to rub it in their face. Now if they see me out in a bikini drinking a beer not knowing I would see them, there's nothing I can do about it and I wouldn't be sorry. 

[Melissa1977]

Look here: http://thebatesfamily.com/night-on-the-town/

What a ugly outfit comparing with the fashionable outfits Alyssa wears now.

[Fascinated]

Based on the above Bates photos, and so many more, I bring you:

 

Photo Posing/TV Interview Giving Rules for Fundies:

 

Dating With a Purpose - DO NOT TOUCH!! Gaze adoringly at virtual stranger good friend.

Courting - Frequently side hug, otherwise, DO NOT TOUCH!  Gaze adoringly at best friend.

Engaged - Hold hands and NEVER let go! Gaze adoringly at love of life.

Married -  Male: Place hand on wife's leg when seated.  When standing place arm around property wife.

                 Female: Interlock arms at all times, must remain so even if gesticulating on camera. Gaze adoringly at headship, especially when he is speaking.        

General rule for all couples - Declare and demonstrate greatest love in history at all times. Take lots of photos and frame them and place them everywhere in home.

[nastyhobbitses]

Based on the above Bates photos, and so many more, I bring you:

 

Photo Posing/TV Interview Giving Rules for Fundies:

 

Dating With a Purpose - DO NOT TOUCH!! Gaze adoringly at virtual stranger good friend.

Courting - Frequently side hug, otherwise, DO NOT TOUCH!  Gaze adoringly at best friend.

Engaged - Hold hands and NEVER let go! Gaze adoringly at love of life.

Married -  Male: Place hand on wife's leg when seated.  When standing place arm around property wife.

                 Female: Interlock arms at all times, must remain so even if gesticulating on camera. Gaze adoringly at headship, especially when he is speaking.        

General rule for all couples - Declare and demonstrate greatest love in history at all times. Take lots of photos and frame them and place them everywhere in home.

Corollary: have these photos placed near placards that proclaim how in love you are with your owner/property. Because otherwise, how will everyone know how Very Much In Love you are? 

What God has put together let no man put asunder. The two shall join and become one joint Instagram account.

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

Corollary: have these photos placed near placards that proclaim how in love you are with your owner/property. Because otherwise, how will everyone know how Very Much In Love you are? 

What God has put together let no man put asunder. The two shall join and become one joint Instagram account.

You won on that last comment. I peek in on Jill and Jessa's IG man Erin puts them to shame. And Alyssa is just adorable. 

[choralcrusader8613]

Corollary: have these photos placed near placards that proclaim how in love you are with your owner/property. Because otherwise, how will everyone know how Very Much In Love you are? 

What God has put together let no man put asunder. The two shall join and become one joint Instagram account.

LOL! It reminds me of those married couples who have to have one Facebook account, because reasons.

[HarleyQuinn]

Alyssa always struck me as someone who just didn't do well in the fundie life, and I could definitely see Gil and Kelly  not allowing her to wear pants when visiting them at home, because like someone else said, it could make the other girls question their beliefs. I'd be willing to bet she's never worn jeans around her folks at all. All her jean IG pictures, she's just with John, it seems. (I could be wrong there, obviously we don't see anything) They forced Whit into skirts, they have to have some weird hatred of pants.

I love fundies wearing pants too, even if it is rather normal in some ATI circles. I'm looking forward to the first Duggar that does it. 

[justmy2cents]

Alyssa always struck me as someone who just didn't do well in the fundie life, and I could definitely see Gil and Kelly  not allowing her to wear pants when visiting them at home, because like someone else said, it could make the other girls question their beliefs. I'd be willing to bet she's never worn jeans around her folks at all. All her jean IG pictures, she's just with John, it seems. (I could be wrong there, obviously we don't see anything) They forced Whit into skirts, they have to have some weird hatred of pants.

I love fundies wearing pants too, even if it is rather normal in some ATI circles. I'm looking forward to the first Duggar that does it. 

There's a picture on instagram where she's wearing jeans when Lawson was visiting and another picture with him where she's in a sleeveless top.  There's also a picture from about 4 weeks ago when Carlin was visiting her and it looks like she's in jeans.  I think she deliberately avoids non modest attire around her parents but hasn't been asked by them to tone it down in front of her siblings.  Maybe they asked her to make sure her sisters uphold their modesty standards but that as a married woman she doesn't have to?

[nokidsmom]

They forced Whit into skirts, they have to have some weird hatred of pants.

This business of "convicting" Whitney to go skirts only before she married Zach is to me, a good indicator that Kelly, and perhaps the other girls really do not approve of pants.   So therefore I think Kelly doesn't particularly care for Alyssa wearing pants but if she's true to her stated belief that once the kids are married and out of the home, they can make their own decisions, then it's something Kelly has to live with.  I bet she grouses about it privately though.  

It was mentioned upthread that maybe Alyssa updated her look because of marrying into a political family that would require "fitting in" more but I honestly think that if Alyssa wanted to remain skirts only that would have been fine.  Whatever she wears, whether pants, skirt or dress, she's in current styles and it's flattering.  Now if she married John back when her family were still sporting frumpers with the big collars, now there I can see John or his family saying "oh honey, just no". 

[nastyhobbitses]

Alyssa always struck me as someone who just didn't do well in the fundie life, and I could definitely see Gil and Kelly  not allowing her to wear pants when visiting them at home, because like someone else said, it could make the other girls question their beliefs. I'd be willing to bet she's never worn jeans around her folks at all. All her jean IG pictures, she's just with John, it seems. (I could be wrong there, obviously we don't see anything) They forced Whit into skirts, they have to have some weird hatred of pants.

I love fundies wearing pants too, even if it is rather normal in some ATI circles. I'm looking forward to the first Duggar that does it. 

Bets on which Duggar will be first?

[imokit]

Jordyn

 

In terms of outside the house - Jessa, though the reason I'm not saying Joy is that she's not likely to be married soon.  Joy is the most active of the older ones, and I could easily see her wearing exercise pants (in fact I wouldn't be particularly surprised, if she were allowed to work out in them in the comfort of the TTH now that the cameras aren't around).  However a fashionable pant worn outside - will most likely be Jessa (or if Jessa has a girl then Jessa's infant girl - it would be a way for Jessa to test the waters)

[HarleyQuinn]

Bets on which Duggar will be first?

Probably Joy. She doesn't even look like she enjoys wearing skirts. Probably because she shares with her sisters and none of them look like they fit her properly. 

[thekate]

Bets on which Duggar will be first?

Jinger has already been seen in pants, twice. Once in the hunting episode she wore camo pants and another time on Instagram she was sitting on the couch at the TTH wearing exercise pants. 

[veron1que]

And here is Jinger in pants. The Duggars seems to make some exception for athletics, the girls wear snow pants. 

 

And in my opinion, Alyssa probably dons dresses/skirts out of respect for her parents. The only one I feel has been bullied is Whit, but maybe Zach asked her to switch to skirts.

[metheglyn]

And here is Jinger in pants. The Duggars seems to make some exception for athletics, the girls wear snow pants. 

 

And in my opinion, Alyssa probably dons dresses/skirts out of respect for her parents. The only one I feel has been bullied is Whit, but maybe Zach asked her to switch to skirts.

On the note of pants for special circumstances, even Michelle has been seen in pants, since she had to wear the fitted coverall when she went skydiving with Jessa. She had her hair back in a ponytail too, and actually looked pretty normal. (Once in a very blue moon...)

[iweartanktops]

Just to be clear, not all fundies have such strict dress codes. I know many fundie women who wear t-shirts/jeans and modest one piece swimsuits.

 

Ummm...nobody comes into my house and tells me what to wear. My husband doesn't even get a say. Alyssa needs to grow a backbone and set some boundaries when her family visits.

True.  The fundies in my family wear pants, skinny jeans and sleeveless ttops. 

[QuestioningQuivers]

I went to a private school from 5th-8th grade and they believed woman could only wear skirts or culottes that were plated to look like a skirt. I didn't wear a dress again until my wedding day. I still only wear a dress/skirt maybe once or twice a year.

[imokit]

The Duggars have changed on this.

They once said they could and would do everything in a skirt; horse riding, hiking etc - no exceptions.

Its only in the last year or so, that they seem to be relaxing things slightly - Jessa in snow pants I think was the first offical sighting.

Michelle was only in the skydiving suit, because of rules imposed on her by other people.

[actuallyjessica]

Don't forget Jessa in board shorts and a tank top while swimming!

[actuallyjessica]

Her dresses are getting shorter and shorter! I predict next summer we will see pics of her in shorts.

I wonder what it's like for her, going from prairie style dresses, to regular clothes (skirts below the knee) to being able to wear whatever she likes. I wonder how much judgement she receives from her peers in real life.

[Pretzel]

Her dresses are getting shorter and shorter! I predict next summer we will see pics of her in shorts.

 

I wonder what it's like for her, going from prairie style dresses, to regular clothes (skirts below the knee) to being able to wear whatever she likes. I wonder how much judgement she receives from her peers in real life.

She's married to fundie royalty, a man who loves her and supports her, was immediately blessed with a little one and comes from a godly family. I don't think she gets a lot of judgement from others. Those who do judge her, are probably filled to the brim with envy. 

[Kelsey]

I think all of the Duggar girls wore shorts when they did the activity where you roll down a hill in a giant inflatable.

Jesse wore shorts and a tank top for swimming and posted a pic of it.

I think we will see Alyssa in capris this Spring. Around April when it starts getting too hot again.

[HereticHick]

I think all of the Duggar girls wore shorts when they did the activity where you roll down a hill in a giant inflatable.

Jesse wore shorts and a tank top for swimming and posted a pic of it.

I think we will see Alyssa in capris this Spring. Around April when it starts getting too hot again.

I agree--she will be so cute in capris. I wonder if her sisters try on her clothes when they come to visit. (and mom & dad aren't watching) : )

[Gimme a Free RV]

I went to a private school from 5th-8th grade and they believed woman could only wear skirts or culottes that were plated to look like a skirt. I didn't wear a dress again until my wedding day. I still only wear a dress/skirt maybe once or twice a year.

Is anyone here old enough to remember "babydoll" swimsuits?  I went to a fundie-light private school in middle school and when we had the opportunity to go on a school outing where swimming was an option, the boys had a separate pool time from the girls.  The girls' swimsuits had to be babydoll swimsuits.  I guess they thought one piece suits were too tight and two piece suits were out of the question...although technically, that's what babydoll suits were.  I guess the apron part of the suit made it "modest."  We couldn't have girls defrauding girls, now, could we?  Especially back at an age where we had no idea what lesbians were.

This is what mine looked like, only it was pink: