Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect - "Gayby" is Born!

[sparkles]

I honestly couldn't see how this whole mess wouldn't wrap up the way it did with the baby getting Icelandic citizenship. The surrogacy question is so muddled, since both parties were adamant that Lauren wasn't being paid for her services. Whether it's true or not is a different story but unless the government launched an investigation and tried to uncover a money trail, they'd have to be taken at their word. And even if the fathers paid Lauren's medical expenses, that doesn't prove anything. She's the biological mother, Agust is the biological father so it stands to reason that he'd want to make sure mother and child received proper care. The fact that he's gay does make it a bit suspect, but again, it seems like they only bent the laws, not broke them. The baby was born in Iceland to an Icelandic father, the mother relinquished her parental rights, the biological father wanted custody and his partner wanted to adopt. I don't think the government had any choice but to make it so. I think the three involved parties did their research VERY well.

I've been reading through Lauren's blog again, from the beginning. It's interesting that there are a couple of relatively new comments (2013, 2014) on older posts that seem to indicate the commenters have no idea what happened with David and Elijah. One of the comments is from Julie, the woman who lived with the Fishers for a while and helped David with some jobs. She's the one who Lauren raked over the coals on the blog after she weeded Lauren's garden as a friendly gesture and Lauren was NOT pleased. It's on a post titled "The End of Julie" and the comment is from 2014. She definitely seems to be unaware of events and asks Lauren to remove any mentions and photos of her from the blog. Not surprisingly, Lauren hasn't complied. I guess it's not authentic.

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=95

[blessalessi]

I just looked up the Julie posts and, OMG, what a tosser Lauren was to write about her in that way.

Lauren's comment policy is, er, very Lauren:

Whatever remarks you choose to leave reflect on the state of your own being and character and not on me or my family — especially if you have never met us and lived alongside us. I understand this; when you truly comprehend this too, we have begun to transform the world into a kinder place.

[shedemei]

I'm honestly glad that the citizen issue was resolved exactly as they wanted it to be, as it's the best for all involved.

[blessalessi]

I'm honestly glad that the citizen issue was resolved exactly as they wanted it to be, as it's the best for all involved.

I agree!

[RegisteredFreebie]

Yes, I think it's the backstory of the blog that is the most interesting - aside from the surrogacy, which she kept pretty quiet (understandably) it's like she is trying to write the most boring blog on the webz. Maybe trying to get us all to go away...

When you read it all with the knowledge of what happened to them all, the blog is a fascinating story, as good as a Jonathan Franzen or Richard Ford novel; the documentation of a man's gradual isolation from society, church, family; with nothing left but his narcissistic, cold wife; culminating in those awful few weeks of his total disintegration in April 2012, at the end of which he goes to Hell.

But it's not only the harrowing story of this wounded person (here he is, the Saviour of the World himself, Lauren took some of it down but left the looney religious rants up http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSaviouroftheworld?feature=watch), it's the fact that the narrator of the story is the narcissistic, stilted, cold wife; everything is told to us through her voice, events are selected, twisted and presented to us by her in order to achieve her goals of Showing All You Stupid Losers This Sparkling Example of How To Live. But because she is so narcissistic, she gets it so wrong; she is unable to understand that her writing is achieving exactly the opposite effect in her readers. Unlike her friends Hellena or Georgia Brizuela, who also blog at least partly to display their lifestyles, but who are genuine, warm, humble people, and who most of us quite like, Lauren has no clue. Her writing is totally transparent; the truth is obvious, her attempted manipulation of that truth is obvious, and that gives the story a whole other layer. Franzen or mb Peter Carey are missing such an opportunity to take this story up, to shape it and arrange it (they'd hardly have to do much to the source material); there's a Great Australian Novel all sparkling away, right here; at least until Lauren goes back and edits it all away....

It's funny about the barefoot thing - it seems to really bother a lot of people, here and elsewhere. Somehow it is such a polarising symbol: either it exemplifies Nimbin-y, country, free, relaxed childhoods, or utter parental neglect. The thing is, for Lauren, it's neither:

"Our airport experiences today seem quite tame......so we like to spice things up by seeing if we can get away with radical measures like staying barefoot! On our way to New Zealand in March, Calista was told to don shoes before she boarded the aircraft. Why? I have no idea." sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1635

.... i.e., wandering around with barefoot children is a way to "spice things up"; to use her children to attract attention, regardless if that attention consists of putting them in a difficult, embarassing, tense situation, causing problems for the airport staff, holding up other travellers, making everything just that bit more difficult; all that's fine for Lauren. Her children are props, simply objects to be used to achieve her needs. I don't know, maybe it's not narcissism, maybe it IS Aspergers (sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1587#c003746). Whatever it is, it's evil.

[Blahblah]

That's a doozy of a first post RegisteredFreebie! Welcome.

[Blahblah]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-dont ... -to,37839/

(Link not broken because it's The Onion.)

Stumbled across this pro-vaccination link on one of the "gayby" daddies public Facebook pages. I can hear Sparkles head exploding given her anti-vax stance.

I feel like the gold star boys only put up with her nonsense long enough to get their baby and her notion of a "romance" and being able to have a sort of long distance family is as grounded in reality as everything else she does.

(Thanks lilith).

[Mermaidgrrrl]

Oh I agree - they don't seem to be compatible with Sparkles whatsoever. They provide children with structure and boundaries and believe in modern medical care based on double blind randomised trials and research and scientific evidence. I wonder how she coped with having a more medicalised birth? I suspect that boy will be the only one of her biological offspring to have a relatively normal life.

[Idolatry]

I honestly couldn't see how this whole mess wouldn't wrap up the way it did with the baby getting Icelandic citizenship. The surrogacy question is so muddled, since both parties were adamant that Lauren wasn't being paid for her services. Whether it's true or not is a different story but unless the government launched an investigation and tried to uncover a money trail, they'd have to be taken at their word. And even if the fathers paid Lauren's medical expenses, that doesn't prove anything. She's the biological mother, Agust is the biological father so it stands to reason that he'd want to make sure mother and child received proper care. The fact that he's gay does make it a bit suspect, but again, it seems like they only bent the laws, not broke them. The baby was born in Iceland to an Icelandic father, the mother relinquished her parental rights, the biological father wanted custody and his partner wanted to adopt. I don't think the government had any choice but to make it so.

I'm not sure why Iceland did this, but clearly it's best for the kid

Just remembering her planned 2016 North America trip, I should point out that these laws are NOT muddled in the US.

How long until the next surrogacy? Or do we think she is going to get a real job?

[16strong]

I can easily see Sparkles picking out another unsuspecting gay couple (from a different country) just so that she can extend her radius of annoyance. I predict France or the U.S. for her next gayby.

[August]

I'm not sure why Iceland did this, but clearly it's best for the kid

Just remembering her planned 2016 North America trip, I should point out that these laws are NOT muddled in the US.

How long until the next surrogacy? Or do we think she is going to get a real job?

She doesn't have to do either, as a 'homeschooler' she'll get welfare until they 'graduate' high school.

[LovelyLuna]

I know this sounds bad but I was expecting MORE of miss sparkles post birth. ::sigh:: :embarrassed:

[sparkles]

My guess is that she's laying low because the surrogacy wasn't quite as sparkling as she would like everyone to believe. I hope for both hers and the girls' sake that she hasn't fallen into a deep depression.

Read her blog again from the beginning is rather chilling. :cry:

[haras1972]

Another sites thread on Lauren mentioned a recent court date for David - is anyone up to date on his situation? Is he likely to ever face trial or will just be held indefinitely due to being unfit for trial?

[waterandrocks]

My guess is that she's laying low because the surrogacy wasn't quite as sparkling as she would like everyone to believe. I hope for both hers and the girls' sake that she hasn't fallen into a deep depression.

Read her blog again from the beginning is rather chilling. :cry:

I agree about the depression thing. She's been there before.

I was a blog reader of her's long before the tragedy and I can't bring myself to go back and read it again after all that has happened.

[Idolatry]

How sparkling was that surrogacy? How's that "love affair" going now?

[Grimalkin]

I agree about the depression thing. She's been there before.

I was a blog reader of her's long before the tragedy and I can't bring myself to go back and read it again after all that has happened.

I imagine that being nomadic it would be hard for her to get help, or be around people long enough to recognize and convince her to get help. I hope any real life friends of hers reading here would consider this and try and help her. I have had a bit of PPD and did not recognize what was going on until after. I know for me I never realize the problem when in it as far as depression goes. I have had mild cases on and off.

[nataraja]

But it's not only the harrowing story of this wounded person (here he is, the Saviour of the World himself, Lauren took some of it down but left the looney religious rants up http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSaviouroftheworld?feature=watch),

I only watched a very small percent of his 'rants' and so far I haven't noticed any looniness in them. Why do you find his religious statements to be looney?

[happy atheist]

I only watched a very small percent of his 'rants' and so far I haven't noticed any looniness in them. Why do you find his religious statements to be looney?

I take it you haven't checked out Instantaneous Vegetarianism. The unedited version was nuts.

[nataraja]

I take it you haven't checked out Instantaneous Vegetarianism. The unedited version was nuts.

I just watched it. Now I see what what you mean.

[RegisteredFreebie]

The last time she disappeared for this long, she came back preggers. Something's up, I think; post-natal depression is likely, but who knows.

[sparkles]

I definitely think the black dog is back but now she doesn't have David to rely on to take care of the girls. It's definitely concerning.

I just read through her blog again for the second time and I'm so conflicted about her. I really do think she's a lost soul, very lonely, socially awkward, desperately trying to find a place for herself and her girls in ways that are probably well-intentioned but often impulsive and misguided. And she's very much a follower not a leader yet she finds herself thrust into that role (and she had a terrible leader role model in David, who was clearly off the rails, even early on). In a lot of ways I ache for her but then I remember that her daughters are an unwitting part of this circus and I get very angry. I would actually love to meet her and spend time with her and her girls because I think that's the only way to get a balanced picture. The life she presents on the blog, which she says isn't a complete picture, naturally appeals to the like-minded, repels those who aren't and it's hard for either side to be objective. I'd like to try but that can only happen in person which doesn't seem at all likely. I do find it harder and harder to snark on her.

Lauren and the Maxwells are like crack to me. Polar opposites in some ways but so alike in others.

[Idolatry]

Maybe she is swept up a new love affair. Or maybe she got another "inheritance."

[Sister_Wife]

I'm in some private groups that she is also in. She's definitely around, using FB etc. just not publicly obvs.

[Arete]

I can easily see Sparkles picking out another unsuspecting gay couple (from a different country) just so that she can extend her radius of annoyance. I predict France or the U.S. for her next gayby.

Whatever else the gold star gay dads were, they were neither innocents nor unsuspecting. They used Lauren. Used a woman who is obviously not right and further hurt the actual innocents in this drama, the girls, to get what they wanted.

I am certainly no fan of Lauren, and I came to despise her for the hurt she inflicted on her girls with this sparkling surrogacy, but these men are contemptible.