Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect - "Gayby" is Born!

[Bearos]

So she has been radio silent since mid January... and now the photo site shows a picture from today of Brisbane - she is back in town.

David related?? I can't see any court listing or anything, but it could be a review at the hospital, or the girls are being taken to see him... there is absolutely nothing to go on, but who knows?

I suppose it is more likely it is a Centrelink review or some other bureaucratic commitment. But it doesn't look like she is staying at the house (shed)... I think that they have checked into a hotel in the city (the shot is of an aerial view of the Roma St Parklands).

Any wild theories?

[for_the_Kitties]

So she has been radio silent since mid January... and now the photo site shows a picture from today of Brisbane - she is back in town.

David related?? I can't see any court listing or anything, but it could be a review at the hospital, or the girls are being taken to see him... there is absolutely nothing to go on, but who knows?

I suppose it is more likely it is a Centrelink review or some other bureaucratic commitment. But it doesn't look like she is staying at the house (shed)... I think that they have checked into a hotel in the city (the shot is of an aerial view of the Roma St Parklands).

Any wild theories?

Wild theory: Centrelink caught wind of her escapades around the world and illegal surrogacy and pulled her financial benefits for the kids since they were out of the country longer than the ?2 weeks? that is allowed.

[Arete]

Hi quik_lives,

I really appreciate that you took the time to set some things straight about Lauren as a person who has actually interacted and observed her in real life. That said, even with your shading in some blanks, I genuinely and without hesitation think that Lauren is a monster and call her out as such. She allows her children to suffer with life and vision threatening conditions like paralysis ticks and prickles in the eye when she could easily get them first world medical care. She forces them to view the murder of their baby brother at the hands of their father as a "neutral" event. She made them witness and endure giving up another baby brother half way around the world in a transaction that was probably illegal in Iceland. They are dirty and they eat poorly in the name of "authenticity". As so many others on the board have noted, this is abuse. The actions outlined above are not those of a mother who has any regard for her children's physical and emotional well being. Just because she is not a monster 24/7 does not mean her actions are any less monstrous. Most parents who abuse their children are not abusive every waking minute. There are pockets of normalcy, and you verify that Lauren is capable of stretches of normal. When I list Lauren's actions out, I come up with someone who is psychologically torturing her children. The unschooling and traveling are really secondary.

PS: I'm also recovering from surgery and on pain meds, so if I am badly repeating what others have said better I apologize, the brain here is still trying to reestablish control of the thoughts before I dump them on the world.

[moodygirl86]

Hi quik_lives,

I really appreciate that you took the time to set some things straight about Lauren as a person who has actually interacted and observed her in real life. That said, even with your shading in some blanks, I genuinely and without hesitation think that Lauren is a monster and call her out as such. She allows her children to suffer with life and vision threatening conditions like paralysis ticks and prickles in the eye when she could easily get them first world medical care. She forces them to view the murder of their baby brother at the hands of their father as a "neutral" event. She made them witness and endure giving up another baby brother half way around the world in a transaction that was probably illegal in Iceland. They are dirty and they eat poorly in the name of "authenticity". As so many others on the board have noted, this is abuse. The actions outlined above are not those of a mother who has any regard for her children's physical and emotional well being. Just because she is not a monster 24/7 does not mean her actions are any less monstrous. Most parents who abuse their children are not abusive every waking minute. There are pockets of normalcy, and you verify that Lauren is capable of stretches of normal. When I list Lauren's actions out, I come up with someone who is psychologically torturing her children. The unschooling and traveling are really secondary.

PS: I'm also recovering from surgery and on pain meds, so if I am badly repeating what others have said better I apologize, the brain here is still trying to reestablish control of the thoughts before I dump them on the world.

Don't worry Jo, I couldn't have put that better! Sorry you're still feeling like shit btw.

[blessalessi]

Just because she is not a monster 24/7 does not mean her actions are any less monstrous. Most parents who abuse their children are not abusive every waking minute. There are pockets of normalcy, and you verify that Lauren is capable of stretches of normal. When I list Lauren's actions out, I come up with someone who is psychologically torturing her children. The unschooling and traveling are really secondary.

This.

Most adults who finally escape abusive (eg, marriage) relationships will say that they stayed so long precisely because the abuse was not 24/7 and because they became inured to the pain, because they lived for the fun times and the caring moments, and wanted to believe the best. Adults will often defend their abusers to concerned outsiders, eg "Stop bad mouthing him, he's NOT a monster", and the abusers will rarely show their bad side deliberately to people outside the relationship. All of this feeds into the cycle of abuse.

Children are so much less able to advocate for themselves than adults, that they depend on outsiders around them to look critically on the situation, and to advocate for them when the adults detect abuse. And while Lauren is certainly a complex person, not a one-dimensional monster, I think that the adults around those girls have a responsibility not to get caught up in the hype around Laren and ask themselves, in their hearts, whether they really think that Lauren is a "good enough" parent to those kids.

FJ on the whole seems to believe she is not, but it will take people closer to the situation to be the eyes, ears and mouth if the authorities are ever to be properly informed and stirred to action.

[happy atheist]

I just activated an account for username Hellena Post. So far this identity has not been verified, so Grain of Salt and all that.

If it really is Hellena and she would like to be verified, she can PM me or email me at happy.atheist@freejinger.org.

[sparkles]

I just activated an account for username Hellena Post. So far this identity has not been verified, so Grain of Salt and all that.

If it really is Hellena and she would like to be verified, she can PM me or email me at happy.atheist@freejinger.org.

Question for HA. If someone registers using the real name of a person we discuss here and won't verify that they're actually said person, can that user name be disallowed? I think it can be very misleading for other members and possibly damaging to the individual whose name is being used, most likely without permission. Am I off base here?

ETA: I registered as Sparkles (which is one of the variations of my online usernames) well before Sparkling Lauren was known to FJ. Pretty sure of that, I think, and it still confuses me to see her called Sparkles here. I'm always thinking "Wait, when did I do/day THAT?"

[browncoatslytherin]

i almost hope it is hellena. though some of her stuff is kinda out there for my taste, she seems like a genuinely nice and interesting person, the kind i'd like to sit and have a cup of tea with and just talk.

lauren, though...uh, maybe not so much. i feel crazy radiating off of the screen from her. :P

[happy atheist]

Question for HA. If someone registers using the real name of a person we discuss here and won't verify that they're actually said person, can that user name be disallowed? I think it can be very misleading for other members and possibly damaging to the individual whose name is being used, most likely without permission. Am I off base here?

It's something we're talking about in modland right now. It's pretty surprising to me that this is the first case of it -- not that she's refused/declined to verify. I can't think of any other cases of someone squatting on, say, Jim Bob Duggar (as a username! get your mind out of the gutter!).

[Sister_Wife]

Hellena mentioned FJ earlier this month on FB. She was talking about bullies and that she had come here for a look and saw that people here were speaking fondly of her. That maybe she should join up... Etc etc.

She seems to be an open and honest person, so it makes sense that she would register with her real name.

[SoybeanQueen]

I hope it's Hellena, too! We wouldn't likely agree on all subjects, but she seems like she likes to laugh, and I enjoy people like that.

[shedemei]

Does anyone else find it suspicious that purported Friends of Lauren are showing up at LJ? So far only two, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a slow stream of them.

[DarkAnts]

I hope it's Helen too. I would not agree with everything she says, but, she has her families best interest at heart. I respect that. Plus she crochets.

[lilith]

I'd love Hellena to join FJ - I've always thought that if she found us before we found her (and Lauren) she would have enjoyed it here. And, while I'm highly unlikely to adopt her lifestyle, I don't think she's a bad person or an uncaring mother. She seems very genuine, like someone whose company I could easily enjoy.

That said, she seems to be a VERY loyal friend, and unless there has been a major falling out (always possible) she's unlikely to come here to dish the dirt on Lauren and very likely to come here to tell us all what horrible bullies we are.

[EvilSoup]

I love Hellena and Currawong SOOOOOO much. Please oh please let it be her.

Her lifestyle is so foreign to my own or to anyway I would choose to live, she seems so happy and she seems to be a wonderful, caring mother.

And Currawong is so freaky and cool and totally into Helena. It is refreshing to "see" (read).

I would love to read Hellena's posts here...

[haras1972]

so in the space of a few weeks, that's Tasmania - Melb - Brisbane - Melb. That's a lot of driving...boring, boring, boring driving.

[August]

She usually flies to Brisbane for these quick trips.

[Bearos]

I think Lauren has gone rat shopping again - there is a picture on her photo sharing page of some sort of "patchwork" rat. Of course, there is nothing to say that it belongs to them... it could be a friend's.

Maybe the quick trip north and then back south included a stop at a breeders?

[Cheetah]

All has been very quiet from Sparkling Lauren, other than a few random instagram pics. But she posted this earlier today on FB and Instagram:

"Congratulations! Three months after I signed the official paperwork, the Icelandic government has finally officially recognised the true parentage of the baby boy I birthed for my friends last November. Iceland outlaws surrogacy, so this little family was created the old-fashioned way — through a loving relationship. It was a privilege and joy to carry and birth for these two wonderful men, and our strong relationship before, during and after the pregnancy has given this child the best possible start — a warm welcome within a peaceful and loving home. I hope our successful navigation of the administrative red-tape surrounding child-custody issues will encourage Iceland to soon revise its anti-surrogacy legislation to permit local childless couples to explore greater options for having children. #bethechange #surrogacy #surrogate #gaydads #gayparenting #iceland #homebirth #waterbirth #birthing"

Maybe now she can talk more about it?

[ViolaSebastian]

Well, I'll be damned, they actually pulled it off.

[16strong]

Sparkles seems to be one of those rare people to whom nothing ever sticks. She really does have a way with slithering around obstacles where the rest of us would be up shit creek.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Hellana is awesome! She is authentic, not like Lauren who pretends to be. She clearly loves her children and does homeschooling to the best of her ability. And let her children try school. Can't see Lauren doing that.

[Mango]

well, I mean, what really *IS* going to stick? And I can't imagine it'd be Lauren who'd get charged with things, since as she's no longer in the country where the issue would be.

[ATC]

I thought her son would probably get Icelandic citizenship fairly easily, but I'll admit I was curious to see whether she would be investigated for the surrogacy (especially as she wasn't exactly discreet about it on her blog/social media and explicitly stated that she was acting as a surrogate)

From what I understand (I think it's been mentioned her before?), her son would have gained Icelandic citizenship through descent:

Children born of a non-Icelandic mother and an unmarried Icelandic father may acquire Icelandic citizenship:

- if the child is born in Iceland and the father is deemed the "father" for the purposes of the (Icelandic) Children Act.

The other Dad would then be able to adopt the child as it's legal for him to adopt his partner's bio child.

I guess the fact that Lauren immediately relinquished her rights to her son and left the country shortly after his birth may have expedited the process too.

[blessalessi]

I bet the dads are relieved. I wonder if Lauren et al will still be as welcome in their family home now that the legal deed is done. :?