Thejoyfilledwife really seems to hate her husband

[DGayle]

I think being coerced to touch someone- even a backrub, is beyond creepy. I think it is a very intimate act and to force it would just be beyond uncomfortable. But it's about control and not just the rub.

My kids don't have to hug anyone, and only have to even hold a hand if we're crossing a road or are somewhere else where it's a safety issue. If one of them falls and gets a boo-boo on her knee, and it's clearly not gushing blood, and she doesn't want anyone to look at it or touch it, we back off. If there's lots of blood, it's a safety issue. In short, unless it's for safety or one of a very short list of other things (temper tantrum where they need to be tightly held to calm down, etc), they're not required to hug anyone, or let anyone touch them.

How is it that I give my kids more autonomy than Ken advocates giving wives, when I'm kind of a hard-ass parent?

[elizabethsays]

Wow, how messed up is this? Talk about an unequal marriage. He treats her like a misbehaving child, not like an adult equal. How demeaning that he "punishes" her. And he derives pleasure from the punishment! Which makes it even more messed up, as if he enjoys watching her suffer (not that giving a back-rub is suffering, but it would be psychologically difficult to be forced to do it).

[Curious]

I don't know what to think about TJFW. She doesn't have her own blog and only guest posts of Lori's, which I find really curious. How did Lori get to know her well enough to trust her to guest write for her? She's *extremely* private. She won't even say how old her children are as if that would give away who they are. It's weird to be *that* private, IMO.

I wonder if that is because her husband's name sounds like Ben and she has 4 kids :evil-eye:

[jerkit]

I wonder if that is because her husband's name sounds like Ben and she has 4 kids :evil-eye:

I don't think so. TJFW sounds too...soft? tender-hearted? to be Lori. She doesn't have that cold, shrewish tone that Lori is so infamous for.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I don't think so. TJFW sounds too...soft? tender-hearted? to be Lori. She doesn't have that cold, shrewish tone that Lori is so infamous for.

I don't think that Lori would do a sock. She's pretty simple and straightforward. She writes simple sentences, sees the world in black and white, takes things at face value, and is extremely bothered by any criticism or dissent but prefers to delete comments instead of changing her words or style.

Lori was also convinced that sex is for men. TJFW surprised her by insisting that she was the one with the higher drive (although it was later revealed that her husband was spending all his time on porn instead of his wife).

[polecat]

It really reminds me of Robert's demands for enthusiastic sex. He has never explained how one DEMANDS enthusiasm and how that actually looks, but it is all kinds of creepy and I actually feel a little sick when I think about it. These men are all about degrading women, aren't they?

Acting. She's supposed to writhe and scream and punctuate each thrust with "OH GOD!" while he pretends that she's actually enjoying it.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Sorry for the TMI, but I (briefly, for obvious reasons) had a boyfriend once who wouldn't believe an orgasm was had unless it was accompanied by all sorts of theatrics. I get that some women ARE naturally quite loud and dramatic at that moment, but plenty more aren't. It's ludicrous to expect a woman to playact to protect a man's ego.

CM, instead of forcing your wife to have "enthusiastic sex" with you, how about you make it so that she WANTS to have enthusiastic sex with you? That means experiment, have fun, be intimate and loving in nonsexual ways, flirt, play with her ... find out what makes HER tick so that you BOTH can enjoy genuinely enthusiastic sex.

[usmcmom]

I wonder if that is because her husband's name sounds like Ben and she has 4 kids :evil-eye:

Hey!! I wonder if The Joy Filled Wife is Lori's daughter in law, Erin. :think: :think:

I also think it's interesting that Lori says TJFW has a wonderful marriage. We all know how Lori defines a "good" marriage so I don't exactly call that a ringing endorsement. Remember, she called Ryan a "good daddy". :?

[jerkit]

CM, instead of forcing your wife to have "enthusiastic sex" with you, how about you make it so that she WANTS to have enthusiastic sex with you? That means experiment, have fun, be intimate and loving in nonsexual ways, flirt, play with her ... find out what makes HER tick so that you BOTH can enjoy genuinely enthusiastic sex.

I think he would just rather her act for Jeezus. He genuinely does not care whether or not his wife enjoys sex, only if she acts like it.