In Which Robert Lurves "The Homeless"

[usmcmom]

Ha! And he says Amanda has hormonal problems... his manstrual cycle is far more unstable and erratic than any woman I've ever known.

Maybe Amanda will write a post called "My Husband, My Ex and My Sugar Daddy," in which she details the struggles she faces in coping with the different personalities Robert exhibits during his manstrual cycle.

[browncoatslytherin]

Maybe Amanda will write a post called "My Husband, My Ex and My Sugar Daddy," in which she details the struggles she faces in coping with the different personalities Robert exhibits during his manstrual cycle.

this is the best idea for a blog post ever

[lawfulevil]

Oh boy, now he's got a tractor.

Don't shoot it if it won't start, Bob!

[lawfulevil]

Just rolled my eyes so hard I swear to y'all they bounced.

Sometimes explaining what our marriage looks like in words must portray as accurately as trying to describe what Yellowstone National Park is like. The variables, the intricacies, the depth and amount of material to cover- something or most is lost in translation. The misunderstanding and inaccuracies range from the ridiculous and hilarious to the downright scary.

Christ, what an asshole. Robert, for the last god-damned time, you are NOT Cormac McCarthy.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

And you definitely, SUPER don't read here. :roll:

Gosh. Grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating, childcare, paperwork, spreading her legs, and balancing the household budget (we already know she does NOT have actual control over the finances, Bob). How GENEROUS of you to allow her to perform her mindless menial feeee-male duties without daily micromanaging. How WRONG the feminists are about you! You lock her in a shed for LOVE. When she's behaving, she gets a new fucking mixer!

If my husband tried to tell me what household appliances I can or cannot purchase to perform UNCOMPENSATED MANUAL LABOR FOR HIS BENEFIT, I'd divorce him. If he locked me in so much as a 5-star hotel penthouse, I'd divorce him into the SUN.

[Tiger Lily]

Just rolled my eyes so hard I swear to y'all they bounced.

Christ, what an asshole. Robert, for the last god-damned time, you are NOT Cormac McCarthy.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

And you definitely, SUPER don't read here. :roll:

Gosh. Grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating, childcare, paperwork, spreading her legs, and balancing the household budget (we already know she does NOT have actual control over the finances, Bob). How GENEROUS of you to allow her to perform her mindless menial feeee-male duties without daily micromanaging. How WRONG the feminists are about you! You lock her in a shed for LOVE. When she's behaving, she gets a new fucking mixer!

If my husband tried to tell me what household appliances I can or cannot purchase to perform UNCOMPENSATED MANUAL LABOR FOR HIS BENEFIT, I'd divorce him. If he locked me in so much as a 5-star hotel penthouse, I'd divorce him into the SUN.

The man actually devised an "Authority Flow Chart?" :cray-cray:

Oh, and Robert, since we all know you read here, it's couldn't care less. COULDN'T! By saying you could care less, you're saying that you care -- at least a little. Get it?

[usmcmom]

Sometimes explaining what our marriage looks like in words must portray as accurately as trying to describe what Yellowstone National Park is like.

Isn't this what got Robert in trouble in the first place? Robert's own words are the first glimpse we have into his marriage. He put it out there in all of its disgusting, abusive clarity. None of us know if he was exaggerating then or if he somehow felt safe in being very accurate, but he gave a very clear and detailed summary of his marriage back then. He is desperately trying to clean things up now.

Somewhat off topic, I spoke to my sister yesterday (I've been traveling so it's been a few days) and she said she was going to check in on Robert's blog again. I'm eager to see how she responds to the "newer softer version." It could go either way. While she'll be more comfortable now that he's trying to keep his language more...well...Christian...she's kind of coming to a new place in her marriage. She is starting to feel discontent because she feels like "all the respect and honor I give him never seems to come back to me," referring to her husband. I'm eager to check in with her later today and see what she thinks of the new blog.

[Firiel]

Isn't this what got Robert in trouble in the first place? Robert's own words are the first glimpse we have into his marriage. He put it out there in all of its disgusting, abusive clarity. None of us know if he was exaggerating then or if he somehow felt safe in being very accurate, but he gave a very clear and detailed summary of his marriage back then. He is desperately trying to clean things up now.

Somewhat off topic, I spoke to my sister yesterday (I've been traveling so it's been a few days) and she said she was going to check in on Robert's blog again. I'm eager to see how she responds to the "newer softer version." It could go either way. While she'll be more comfortable now that he's trying to keep his language more...well...Christian...she's kind of coming to a new place in her marriage. She is starting to feel discontent because she feels like "all the respect and honor I give him never seems to come back to me," referring to her husband. I'm eager to check in with her later today and see what she thinks of the new blog.

Let us know what she says!

Also, when I was checking Robert's blog this morning, I nearly died with excitement when I saw his authority flowchart. Complete with statistics! :dance:

[browncoatslytherin]

Also, when I was checking Robert's blog this morning, I nearly died with excitement when I saw his authority flowchart. Complete with statistics! :dance:

ken must be very proud.

[usmcmom]

I also noticed that his post specifically includes a section about how they handle it when HE wants sex. Interesting how it wasn't addressed as "when either of us wants sex."

I think we all know why, but it would be interesting to see how he spins it.

[spud]

I want sex. First, we kind of schedule it- I know, I know…but it works for us. As stated before I’m a 48 hour kind of man. So it’s rare that I need “extra,†but it does happen once every couple weeks. It’s rare that she is not okay with that, maybe 1 in 50 times and then she’ll try to comply within a short period of time within the same day. On the other side of the coin, there is probably once a week she is tired or not feeling well and I usually suggest we can wait until the next day. In other words she tries to keep up with me and I try to make sure I’m being considerate and not pushing her

Urgh, I hate that the expectation is that his wife will comply immediately he's feeling horny, except the one time in 50 she can put him off for a few hours. And what a considerate husband to allow her a day's grace when she's sick.

[salex]

Just rolled my eyes so hard I swear to y'all they bounced.

Christ, what an asshole. Robert, for the last god-damned time, you are NOT Cormac McCarthy.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

And you definitely, SUPER don't read here. :roll:

Gosh. Grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating, childcare, paperwork, spreading her legs, and balancing the household budget (we already know she does NOT have actual control over the finances, Bob). How GENEROUS of you to allow her to perform her mindless menial feeee-male duties without daily micromanaging. How WRONG the feminists are about you! You lock her in a shed for LOVE. When she's behaving, she gets a new fucking mixer!

If my husband tried to tell me what household appliances I can or cannot purchase to perform UNCOMPENSATED MANUAL LABOR FOR HIS BENEFIT, I'd divorce him. If he locked me in so much as a 5-star hotel penthouse, I'd divorce him into the SUN.

Your answer made me go look at what appliance she was checking with him about. So, I read his blog and discovered he's a jerk and a micro manager.

This is the conversation we have ar out house.

We have a business expense.... (Ie table saw) . He goes to the accounting dept and talks to them about it. In their business, apparnetly his wife is the accounting dept. OK. BFD, dude.

I want to go out for coffee, drinks or lunch with a friend, or have an event to attend that he's not invited to or interested in or both. I say.. Hon, I"m busy Tuesday. Or I"m meeting Julie for lunch on Thursday or Girls night out at Drunks are us on Friday, I"ll call you or the taxi if I have more than xxx drinks. I don't "ask" -- I give a head's up that he's on his own for dinner.

Sex. Mocking laughter at 48 hour man. That woud be like a sexless marriage for many people, especially at his age. (I realize I could have a kid almost his age... gahh) Does she never asks him for sex? How sad it is all about him.

Now, managing money between two people is between them, but no, I don't usually have to ask for an appliance. Although, I once had an employee whose husband wouldn't let her use a crock pot... so who knows.

[Hisey]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

[/hidden]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I believe what you are thinking about was one of my alter-egos who compared her husband's tipping a table over to Jesus doing that in the temple. :P

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Nope, I am pretty sure his wife wrote in the comments that she got mad at him for talking on the phone to a woman and he came out and tipped over a dining room table. She said their son, who was three, witnessed this. Anybody else remember this?

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

I want sex. First, we kind of schedule it- I know, I know…but it works for us. As stated before I’m a 48 hour kind of man. So it’s rare that I need “extra,†but it does happen once every couple weeks. It’s rare that she is not okay with that, maybe 1 in 50 times and then she’ll try to comply within a short period of time within the same day. On the other side of the coin, there is probably once a week she is tired or not feeling well and I usually suggest we can wait until the next day. In other words she tries to keep up with me and I try to make sure I’m being considerate and not pushing her

1. Ew. Just, ew.

2. No you don't, CabinetJerk. You really just don't care.

[lawfulevil]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Nope, I am pretty sure his wife wrote in the comments that she got mad at him for talking on the phone to a woman and he came out and tipped over a dining room table. She said their son, who was three, witnessed this. Anybody else remember this?

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Cheating wouldn't be out of the usual range of patterns for entitled abusers either, but I didn't see this one.

[Firiel]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

[/hidden]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I believe what you are thinking about was one of my alter-egos who compared her husband's tipping a table over to Jesus doing that in the temple. :P

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Nope, I am pretty sure his wife wrote in the comments that she got mad at him for talking on the phone to a woman and he came out and tipped over a dining room table. She said their son, who was three, witnessed this. Anybody else remember this?

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

That was me as LuckyWife.

[Grimalkin]

A flow chart of authority!? That was all sorts of what the fuckery.

This stats...... I just can't stop laughing. I think I will keep it someplace. I think he is a troll. This whole blog is a long con. I am expecting some sort of hidden internet camera.

[lawfulevil]

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

L. Ron, on the other hand, isn't bright enough to make a PDF you don't have to first turn 90 degrees to read.

1. Physical Labor as Virtue: you've clearly never worked retail. It's a lot more physically demanding than you think, dude. 7-11 is an especially terrible example.

2. Fixing Basic Shit: this a human life skill, not gendered- and come on, none of this stuff is all that difficult. And really, "fix a leaky pipe" was the hardest plumbing task you could think up?

3. Don't Be a Huge Fuckup: You should show up to work and be able to manage basic arithmetic? Okay... again, not sure how this is manly.

4. Adventures: A bed and breakfast is an ADVENTURE? REALLY? Try the four hands massage and a pedicure next time, evidently you'll be able to cross Everest off your bucket list.

5. Fighting: Admit it, you have never in your life won a fair fight with another man. This is 100% bluster.

6. Women: I do believe you've "won" a fight with a woman.

7. Children: What? :pink-shock: You should... interact with your own damn offspring? Revolutionary. Truly, this is why God and the sinful sinful World needed you to make a blog, Robbie.

8. Prayer: And by God you mean your own very narrow interpretation of the Christian God, naturally. The billions and billions of men who came before Jesus, or who follow different faiths, are all just ridiculously unmanly. Like Genghis Khan, that guy was such a wimp.

9. Helping and Service: Again, this falls under basic human decency.

...Mmmkay.

[morfydd]

Robert has responded to Shelley who tries to reasonably point out that people are giving and helping in many ways; therefore, they might not be able to give for this specific challenge. I've paraphrased but I think that's her main point.

Um, going back a bit: Sky pilot? What is that even? And if it's just a weird wording for pilot, why would that be in the list of ways he could "live out (his) faith"?

Also, I am the queen of long convoluted sentences, but he needs to stop with the stream of consciousness.

[lawfulevil]

...Sky pilot? Does he mean civil air patrol???

[littlemommy]

I had to google "sky pilot" (I admit I was wondering if it was some super weird suicide threat) but the definition I found meant "chaplain for the Air Force".

OMG, do it, Boobert. My friend in the Air Force and his buddies would have a terrific time shredding you.

[usmcmom]

You guys!! Robert can't find his Man Card!

[AllisonWndrland]

You guys!! Robert can't find his Man Card!

I have a couple of suggestions for places to look. Maybe Ken can help him find it. Or perhaps Amanda hid it in the cabin. A flow chart might help. :?

[usmcmom]

I had to google "sky pilot" (I admit I was wondering if it was some super weird suicide threat) but the definition I found meant "chaplain for the Air Force".

OMG, do it, Boobert. My friend in the Air Force and his buddies would have a terrific time shredding you.

I know, right? I'm sure Robert has many reasons why servicemen aren't real men, but, wow, would it be funny to see him try to do what they do.

[ViolaSebastian]

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Umm...I don't know about ya'll, but I'm pretty dang happy that someone is specializing in setting broken bones. It takes skill not to mess that up. Properly trained (read: specialized) physicians have saved my life, the lives of many others.

[thoughtful]

"Sky pilot" as slang for a preacher, military or not, goes back pretty far, as in this 1921 film title:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0012699/

When it became more associated with military chaplains, I don't know -- WWII, Korea, Vietnam? Maybe the general public thought of it that way after the 1968 song.

And speaking of the song, I am inspired:

He harangues his kids, as they stand in line

The smell of his farts makes their little eyes shine

He's there to boss them all that he can

To make them feel bullied, he’s a weak little man.

Big bully . . . big bully,

Bluster, though you’re wrong,

You'll never, never, never prove you’re strong.

He smiles at his poor wife, now.

Tells her he wants sex.

He knows not her needs, how they might be complex.

Sooner or late, she’d better comply,

Robert is a 48-hour guy.

Big bully . . . big bully,

Bluster, though you’re wrong,

You'll never, never, never prove you’re strong.

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