In Which Robert Lurves "The Homeless"

[thoughtful]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Cabinetman wants to come off as a manly command man to people like Lorken, then loving and kind to people like us, so he can't keep his stories straight.

I don't see any reason not to see him as a disgusting, abusive person. But there is one bit of info, in the interest of accuracy, I'd like to throw in here.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

The idea that he locked her in a shed came, if I remember correctly, from someone posting here that they didn't see a cabin on the property, just a small shed. And then, as things do, it took off.

Assuming I'm looking at the right place, there are three structures on their (old? current? :D ) property other than the main house. Two are very small -- shed/chicken coop size. But the third is considerably larger - maybe a third of the size of the main house -- and appears to have a pitched roof. So it does look like there is a cabin on the property.

Let me repeat -- this does not mean I am defending CM. In fact, if anything, I think trying to be accurate gives us more credibility in criticizing him. I always hate giving these people a leg to stand on, even in their own weird minds. The way he thinks, it can become "They claimed there is no cabin and I locked her in a shed! That's not true, so I am right about everything!"

Just a thought.

[jerkit]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Cabinetman wants to come off as a manly command man to people like Lorken, then loving and kind to people like us, so he can't keep his stories straight.

I don't see any reason not to see him as a disgusting, abusive person. But there is one bit of info, in the interest of accuracy, I'd like to throw in here.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

The idea that he locked her in a shed came, if I remember correctly, from someone posting here that they didn't see a cabin on the property, just a small shed. And then, as things do, it took off.

Assuming I'm looking at the right place, there are three structures on their (old? current? :D ) property other than the main house. Two are very small -- shed/chicken coop size. But the third is considerably larger - maybe a third of the size of the main house -- and appears to have a pitched roof. So it does look like there is a cabin on the property.

Let me repeat -- this does not mean I am defending CM. In fact, if anything, I think trying to be accurate gives us more credibility in criticizing him. I always hate giving these people a leg to stand on, even in their own weird minds. The way he thinks, it can become "They claimed there is no cabin and I locked her in a shed! That's not true, so I am right about everything!"

Just a thought.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I guess I don't understand what you're saying. CM did indeed say that he locked Amanda in the shed.

[thoughtful]

Translation: If you didn't give to my little campaign, SHAME ON YOU. You are not a True Christian[tm][/tm]!

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

He really is a major baby, isn't he? He has the attention span and patience of a toddler having a tantrum.

Like Littlemommy, I imagine his household is run on the instant obedience system, so he forgot that the rest of the world doesn't work that way.

Cabinetman, if you are able to learn from your errors, you should have just learned that setting a really short arbitrary deadline for a charitable project, then being an ungracious guilt-monger about it, is Stupidity 101.

Edited for clarity and riffles

[thoughtful]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I guess I don't understand what you're saying. CM did indeed say that he locked Amanda in the shed.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

He used the word cabin:

Cabinetman wrote: there was even a few times she had to sleep on the couch, a couple times I made her sleep in the cabin on our property when she was downright in complete anarchy against our marriage, family and God's Word.

cabinetman wrote:As far as going to the cabin, leaving the house and marriage was not something she was against and pushed for every chance she got. But usually she was in no condition to drive or make decisions and for her own safety I took her keys. The cabin is several hundred yards away and was a solution that worked a few times, although usually by the end of the night and several telephone calls she would slip back into the home late at night and sleep with me after apolagizing.

Someone said there was no cabin, that they only saw tiny storage sheds on their property. And I think that's how "he locked her in the shed" got going.

He's a controlling, abusive asshole, but he may be a cabin-locking-in abusive asshole, not a shed-locking-in abusive asshole. :D

And we have no idea if that cabin is a nice spot fixed up for guests, or a dump with no bed, heat, etc. So it doesn't change much, other than not giving him a leg to stand on to say we are accusing him falsely. And I don't like to give shits like him a leg to stand on, even in their own minds.

[jerkit]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Oh I see what you're saying now. Cabin or shed, he still locked his wife in somewhere, which is horrible IMO

[Tiger Lily]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I guess I don't understand what you're saying. CM did indeed say that he locked Amanda in the shed.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

When exactly did he say this? I know he gave her an ultimatum and likely coerced her into going. When he threatened to divorce her if she didn't comply, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he threatened to take the kids in a divorce. I just never read where he actually said he locked her in the shed. Also, if she "slipped back" into the house and got into bed beside him after apologizing on the cell phone, then either the shed or the house was not locked, kwim?

Shed or cabin ... it doesn't matter. My question is, did he lock her anywhere? Based on the details, I doubt that he did.

[thoughtful]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Oh I see what you're saying now. Cabin or shed, he still locked his wife in somewhere, which is horrible IMO

Absolutely!

[thoughtful]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

When exactly did he say this? I know he gave her an ultimatum and likely coerced her into going. When he threatened to divorce her if she didn't comply, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he threatened to take the kids in a divorce. I just never read where he actually said he locked her in the shed. Also, if she "slipped back" into the house and got into bed beside him after apologizing on the cell phone, then either the shed or the house was not locked, kwim?

Shed or cabin ... it doesn't matter. My question is, did he lock her anywhere? Based on the details, I doubt that he did.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I just looked at the quotes again, and you are right. That may have come from his saying he took away her keys -- I imagine that was so she wouldn't have car keys to drive away -- the cabin and house were probably unlocked if she "apolagetically" :roll: crept back to their bedroom.

Again, this doesn't mean I don't think CM is a shitty abuser -- we have plenty with which to condemn him sticking to his exact words. To me, "he exiled a grown woman to a cabin as punishment" is just as disgusting as "he locked her in a shed."

[Tiger Lily]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I just looked at the quotes again, and you are right. That may have come from his saying he took away her keys -- I imagine that was so she wouldn't have car keys to drive away -- the cabin and house were probably unlocked if she "apolagetically" :roll: crept back to their bedroom.

Again, this doesn't mean I don't think CM is a shitty abuser -- we have plenty with which to condemn him sticking to his exact words. To me, "he exiled a grown woman to a cabin as punishment" is just as disgusting as "he locked her in a shed."

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Exactly. She had no keys and she did "slip back" inside which leaves me wondering if Robert simply unlocked the front door so she could "slip back" inside. It sounded like he was already in bed. Besides, can you picture him hauling his sorry behind out to the cabin to retrieve her in the middle of the night? Me neither. Whatever he did, we know he practically forced her ("I made her") and it wasn't pretty.

[Artemis]

He annoyed me with all his posturing.

So I posted this:

Robert:

If you want to know why my husband, the epitome of strong, silent manhood, the perfect gentle knight of the world wouldn't read your blog it's because he doesn't need to. He doesn't need you. Real men don't need you. Real men are busy being real men. They don't need to brag about their manliness because they're just quietly being manly. By the way, my husband isn't big, strong, or macho. He doesn't wrestle steers or grind bulls into hamburger (Yuk, who would want all that testosterone tainted meat? Don't you know what happens when male animals age? Testosterone ruins the meat That's why steers are castrated.) He isn't loud, aggressive or self-righteous. He's just been a perfect, gentle, strong, loving, hard-working man for the 28 years I've been happily married to him. Why would anyone like that need to listen to your inane posturing? Half - no more like 90% the time you don't even sound credible.

Also: You can either have respect in the world's eyes or God's eyes. Not both. Right now, you don't have either, because of all this silly posturing and whinging. Take a raincheck, disappear off the web, give your poor, hard-working emotionally bruised wife a break, and learn what humility is.

Oh, and by the way:

Instruction about Giving

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

The Pharisee and Tax Collector

And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: 1Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

You're serving two masters, Robert.

The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Fame is fickle, fortune, bald behind. Shun them. Serve Christ.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Actually, my dearly loved husband, like any dearly loved husband, can be a PITA of course. But then, so can I and when it's over - and it's always brief and harmless - we have a laugh about how our characters have meshed/moulded/knocked each others' rough corners off over the 28 years. CM won't post it of course, but at least I've had the satisfaction of saying it, and since I have no intention of speaking to him again, he's welcome to block me.

[usmcmom]

Robert has responded to Shelley who tries to reasonably point out that people are giving and helping in many ways; therefore, they might not be able to give for this specific challenge. I've paraphrased but I think that's her main point.

— October 28, 2014 at 11:52 am

Shelley,

Thank you for your comment. I agree with you, as I pretty much said the same thing in yesterday’s long comment in the comment section. However, and please try to understand this (maybe put yourself in our shoes). My wife & I have agreed to put our inner most secrets, sins and life on display for anyone with an internet connection to view and have our lives examined by the double edged sword of scripture in a time when most folks do not believe in scripture. Why?, you might ask. Because we believed in doing so other men and women, husbands & wives could benefit from it. That the knowledge that could be gained from that could spur them to action in their own lives. And if folks did that it would be worth it. However, if folks are getting enjoyable reading out of it at most, or rubber necking en masse, OR at worst enjoying watching the freak show on a daily basis in their opinion (hello FJ’ers!)…it simply is not.

I believe most folks either think the bible is outdated, a book full of myths & lies, or only somewhat applicable to their lives & they can ignore and/or change the parts they don’t like. If that was not the case, our world would not look like it looks. Those not included in the above, well many have a hard time understanding what living biblically means in 2014. Not that the bible is not relevant, but how getting from those pages to eating, breathing, working, parenting, loving and living looks in the day to day. My hope was/is to help those in that situation and maybe convert a few of the former. Maybe my hopes are too high Shelley. But that is the threshold I have to have to make it worthwhile for me to invest my time, energy and put my wife, my family and myself in such a vulnerable position.

I am willing to do it, hands down, if God said to do it. But the only direction I have is not that clearcut. I know I am supposed to stand boldly for Christ, lead my family, love my wife, help those in need, share God’s truth when it’s apparent it’s needed. But like a businessman if folks aren’t buying what I’m selling, I’ve either got to find new customers or approach my business in a new way (because in this instance I can’t change my product, I’m living out my faith to the best of my ability and am confident in my doctrine). Maybe I need to disciple men in my hometown. Or go back to the homeless shelter, or as scary of a thought as it is…being a sky pilot. Or maybe I need to say I’m dissappointed in the response I am seeing and call out the men who are reading and not reading, and not stepping up…I have examined myself inside and out. I’ve asked Amanda to do the same of me. My pastor also. I could go on…

That is where I am at Shelley…so I understand where you are coming from. Hopefully you can understand where I am coming from. In Christ our Lord-

[Firiel]

Robert has responded to Shelley who tries to reasonably point out that people are giving and helping in many ways; therefore, they might not be able to give for this specific challenge. I've paraphrased but I think that's her main point.

Someone is going to need to translate this for me. Is he saying people need to give so he can be sure he's making a difference? That people should give to prove they are True Christians[tm][/tm] who live biblically in 2014? People need to give money so he keeps blogging?

[browncoatslytherin]

we need a robert dictionary. we already have him redefining husbandry, after all.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

we need a robert dictionary. we already have him redefining husbandry, after all.

Ooh! Ooh!! We need to also add the words/phrases "big as a mountain", "lariating", "griddle giggler" and "bull-burgers" (okay, so the last one is mine but it still works).

[usmcmom]

I'm still working through it myself. I have no idea what he's so upset about. But it does seem that he's pouting a little bit because his readers didn't support his favorite charity. That, and evidently there aren't enough men in the world who are as Christian as he is.

I think he's hoping to get a lot of comments in which people beg him not to stop writing and I don't get it. If he enjoys blogging, and he thinks he has something important to say; he should just write his little blog. He must be exhausting to live with, the way he needs constant validation. I guess forced enthusiasm probably isn't expected only in the bedroom at his house.

Okay, back to deciphering.

[Curious]

There is a reason that most things on FJ are not done instantly. Announcements stay up for anywhere from 14 days to a month usually. The holiday fundraiser runs several months. We try to give notice on things that are going to happen at least a couple weeks in advance, etc.

Unless it's a regular thing that happens all the time for a short period of time (like the post of the week voting was), polls are up for anywhere between 14 days and a month.

There is a reason for this and it's not because we are lazy and just don't want to deal with things for weeks at a time :wink-kitty:

[lawfulevil]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I still find it very implausible that she'd choose to call him repeatedly over just coming inside and yelling at his dumb ass, if she weren't either locked in/out or completely terrorized. And we can't really take his word for it that the house was unlocked, he's a liar.

I did notice something on their property that COULD be a cabin, but I don't think it is. Assuming Robert's accurate when he's blathering about how much bigger (33%) the new house (1400 sq feet) is, that makes the original house ~1050 sq feet (1400/1050 = 1.33).

{L_OFFTOPIC} :

On the other hand, Robert is an idiot, so maybe we're dividing 1400 by 3, times 2, for ~950 square feet. Who knows.

The house is almost exactly twice as wide as it is tall. So if 2x^2 = 1050, we get about 23 feet by 46 feet.

If the house is 23 feet long, we can whip out Gimp's handy-dandy measuring tool and estimate the proportions of the outbuilding at 17x15, or 255 square feet. We do know they really have horses, Amanda posted pictures of one of the horses on her Facebook well before this whole thing got started. Knowing that they have horses, and knowing they keep those horses pretty close to the house (also obvious from the pictures), that fenced-in cleared out area looks a lot like a paddock to me. It might even have a couple goats in it, who knows.

A 250ish square foot building set just inside the paddock seems much more like it's shelter for the horses than a cabin, and every other building on the property can only be termed a "shed".

[Maggie Mae]

Who has a cabin on the same property as their house? We have a cabin. (Well, had a cabin. Thanks wildfires!) The purpose of a cabin is to leave home and go somewhere remote. Whether it's a small lakefront property or a woodsy hunting cabin, it's rarely just a few hundred feet away.

And who the fuck banishes his wife to another building. Robert is an asshole if he did that. And if he's claiming to do that and didn't, he's still an asshole for thinking people would respect him for that.

[Rebelwife]

Who has a cabin on the same property as their house? We have a cabin. (Well, had a cabin. Thanks wildfires!) The purpose of a cabin is to leave home and go somewhere remote. Whether it's a small lakefront property or a woodsy hunting cabin, it's rarely just a few hundred feet away.

And who the fuck banishes his wife to another building. Robert is an asshole if he did that. And if he's claiming to do that and didn't, he's still an asshole for thinking people would respect him for that.

That's really the crux of the matter, isn't it? I don't care if I had a Hollywood style 2500 sq. ft. luxury "pool house" on my property - the minute my husband even suggested I remove myself to it as a consequence of my attitude would be the minute our marriage started to die. He's an asshole either way.

(Not to say my husband hasn't been know to say "You know, you seem a little stressed tonight; why don't you get out of the house for a while?" :whistle: :lol: )

[Hisey]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

There are other reasons to be concerned about Robert. Didn't his wife once write that he tipped over a table in front of their son? And what about that comment where he said it was OK to hit a wife once ina while (he said it should be rare!). I believe he said that fear was a good thing in a relationship.

[Firiel]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

There are other reasons to be concerned about Robert. Didn't his wife once write that he tipped over a table in front of their son? And what about that comment where he said it was OK to hit a wife once ina while (he said it should be rare!). I believe he said that fear was a good thing in a relationship.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I believe what you are thinking about was one of my alter-egos who compared her husband's tipping a table over to Jesus doing that in the temple. :P

[Maggie Mae]

What a very long break from blogging he took.

[Tiger Lily]

What a very long break from blogging he took.

It seems that Robert can't help himself. Perhaps he had sudden "inspiration." :pray: Seriously, I can't take him at his word at all. If he says he'll take a break for whatever reason, I know he'll be back in a flash. Plus, Robert craves the attention far too much. He's not going anywhere.

[usmcmom]

For all the bloviating he does about women's hormones and sensitive personalities, he sure is an emotional little man. I'm constantly amazed at how he makes me think of very specific incidents we dealt with at our house when our daughter was going through adolescence. I keep wanting to send him an email with the "tools" we used to manage an overwrought teenage girl. He needs to man up. No wonder he can't get men to follow him. They are all probably reading his blog and thinking "Dude! You gotta stop the whining!"

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

For all the bloviating he does about women's hormones and sensitive personalities, he sure is an emotional little man. I'm constantly amazed at how he makes me think of very specific incidents we dealt with at our house when our daughter was going through adolescence. I keep wanting to send him an email with the "tools" we used to manage an overwrought teenage girl. He needs to man up. No wonder he can't get men to follow him. They are all probably reading his blog and thinking "Dude! You gotta stop the whining!"

Ha! And he says Amanda has hormonal problems... his manstrual cycle is far more unstable and erratic than any woman I've ever known.