God doesn't care if you're happy...Lori Alexander

[Koala]

God doesn't care if you're happy (and other pearls of wisdom from Lori Alexander)

 

Well, you can always tell when Lori's managed to wrestle the keyboard away from Ken, because a GIANT WALL OF TEXT becomes a spewed paragraph of projectile vile shrewiness (<---it's a new word...I'm keeping it )

 

From today's post:

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

"You will never find your happiness in a man. Let me repeat myself. You will NEVER find happiness in a man."

In other words:

 

Quote

I have never been happy with Ken. Let me repeat myself. Ken has never brought me an ounce of happiness.

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

If you marry a man to be happy, you will be disappointed. He will disappoint you. He will never be able to live up to your expectations. NEVER.

 

In other words:

 

Quote

I married Ken hoping to be happy. I was disappointed. He has disappointed me. He never lives up to my expectations. NEVER!

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

Your happiness in marriage is not important to the Lord. Your obedience is what matters to Him.

 

In other words:

 

Quote

God doesn't care if you're happy. In fact, he wants you to be just as unhappy as I am. And he wants your to obey me, because I am a wise older woman and he COMMANDED me to boss you around and tell you how to do life.

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

Your happiness is NOT what matters to the Lord.

 

In other words:

 

Quote

In case I didn't make myself clear the first time, God DOES NOT care about you. Period.

 

Lori Alexander:

 

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If your husband isn't "Mr. Perfect" and you still love and serve him, the world wonders why you stay with him, but they will respect you.

 

In other words:

 

Quote

Ken isn't perfect, but I am. People wonder why I stay with him (and pretend to serve him). I garner a lot of respect from playing the martyr.

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

Yes, you may not have any more "feelings" for your husband. So what?

 

In other words:

 

Quote

I don't have feelings for Ken, but so what? I went to college for a Mrs. Degree and I GOT IT! He makes enough money to keep me at home comfortably criticizing those who choose to/must work. That totally makes it worth it!

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

Sure it's hard to smile at your husband when he acts like a jerk, but I bet you act like one at times also. Even if you don't, we should still smile and love for love forgives easily and is not easily offended.

 

In other words:

 

Quote

Ken is an ass. It's really hard for me to smile at him, but I do it anyway.

 

Now you're probably a bitch. I'm not, but you probably are. That means you and your husband are even. He's a jerk, you're a bitch. Smile!

 

Now with Ken and I things are different. I am holy and he's a jerk. I smile anyway.

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

If you are having a hard time in your marriage, go on long walks {take the children if you have them} and get in the fresh air and sunshine.

 

In other words:

 

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If you are having a hard time in your marriage, feel free to use your kids as a buffer.

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

Stop eating sugar. It causes depression and lots of other bad things.

 

In other words:

 

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You know those feelings of overwhelming depression you have? It's probably the Snickers bar you ate last night. Anyway, have your noticed how fat you are? Men HATE fat women!

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

Stop watching trash television and movies.

 

In other words:

 

Quote

I watch trash tv, but it's totally for "research purposes" for my blog. I love trash blogs too! Have you ever read SSM's blog? Ken claims the comment section is like a locker room full of teenage boys, but I totally fit in! And Mary? She loves to have "backdoor discussions" (as Ken calls them) with me about spanking! Did you know most people would probably LOVE to spank their spouse?!? Debi Pearl once spanked me with her words and it was AWESOME! Awesome I tell you! And once Ken told me he would spank me if I broke the dishwasher! I was like, cool! Bring it on. Oh my gosh...I am sooooo puritanical! Can you even stand me?!?! ***wanders off to break the dishwasher***

 

Lori Alexander

 

Quote

Love him, even when he is unlovable. Respect him, even when he is not worthy of respect for this pleases God

 

In other words:

 

Quote

Ken is unlovable and not worth of my respect. But God.

[jerkit]

Posts like these always make me sad for lori for a split second because her life and marriage are obviously so miserable. Then I remember what an effing monster she is and I don't feel sad for her anymore.

[bluehydrangea]

Seems to me that she is justifying her own unhappiness, which is sad, but she doesn't need to push that on other people in the name of God.

[polecat]

omg, I'm not sure whether to feel horrified or disgusted.

[jerkit]

The centered text is a nice touch ;)

[usmcmom]

It's her use of definite qualifiers that puts me on the defensive.

NEVER!

ALWAYS!

A reasonable writer would simply share her own experience; readers might see similarities to their own life and feel a connection that makes them want to comment. Of course, her writing makes me want to comment but...um, yeah...I've been banned.

I found myself wondering if my husband has lived up to my expectations and I can honestly say he has exceeded them. Our marriage has far exceeded our expectations. We never imagined, 27 1/2 years ago, that we'd still be having such fun. We laugh together every day. I'm sorry that Ken and Lori don't have that in their marriage but to assign that negative trait to all relationships is just wrong. I'm sure they would say that we FJ members who "claim" to have a happy marriage are wrong because we just aren't the right kind of Christians.

Do they really believe that you have to be Godly OR happy? You can't be both?????

In the interest of full disclosure there is one area in which my husband just doesn't live up to my expectations....the grocery store. He often brings the wrong item because he doesn't read labels. It's just a big ole' joke at our house and we make a game out of guessing what he'll buy as compared to what I wrote on the list. :lol: :lol:

But I have a feeling Lori was talking about thinks much more important than that. 8-)

[quiversR4hunting]

Lori Alexander

In other words:

Lori Alexander

In other words:

This made me laugh a little. This past week at church the Priest's homily was all about how God cares about everything we do!! But then again- what would a priest know about theology? You know with his bachelor's degree and then master's in theology....Lori I am sure could educate us (if she hasn't done so already) on why she is more qualified than a priest. :roll:

[littlemommy]

This made me laugh a little. This past week at church the Priest's homily was all about how God cares about everything we do!! But then again- what would a priest know about theology? You know with his bachelor's degree and then master's in theology....Lori I am sure could educate us (if she hasn't done so already) on why she is more qualified than a priest. :roll:

Well, isn't she a prophet, according to Ken? :roll:

Maybe she predicted his porn addiction!!!

[RosyDaisy]

I beg to disagree. My fiancée makes me very happy. I wouldn't be marrying him if he didn't.

[docmom]

Why does god want us to be miserable? And why would I want to follow a god that did? Way to evangelize Lori.

[Curious]

When Lori posts stuff like this the only person it makes me feel sorry for is Ken. I wonder how different he would be today if he had run the other way 30+ years ago when Lori was waving red flags like a Matador in front of an angry bull?

When he was here, there were times you could catch a glimpse of the person he might have been and it seemed like he might have been a kind of fun, decent person had he not married a vile, shrew that admits she really didn't love him when they got married.

My husband and I will have been married for 13 years this year (together for 17 years). Yesterday when I was at physical therapy he seemed to sort of balk at coming back with me, which he's never done before. I've had PT a number of times at a couple different places, with different therapists, etc. He did come back with me for part of it, but when we moved out of the main exercise room to a smaller room, instead of coming with, he went to the front desk to handle some business stuff we needed to do.

On the ride home, I asked him why he balked when he never has before and he said you've done this stuff all before you don't need me in there. I said maybe not, but I WANT you there. Even though he's not really doing anything, I still like him being there. I like being around him and while he may not feel he's doing anything by just sitting in the same room while I do PT, he actually is because unlike Lori, I love my husband.

[formergothardite]

If Ken was less self-absorbed he would realize that Lori is passive-aggressively bashing him with these posts. My husband would be hurt if I ever wrote anything like that about marriage and I would be hurt if he wrote stuff like that, but we are not the never sinning Saint Lori and Saint Ken, so what do we know. :roll:

[browncoatslytherin]

it's posts like these that make it painfully obvious that lorken are a couple of miserable people, but according to their religious beliefs (or, rather, what they decide are their religious beliefs, as some things seem to run counter to a lot of typical christian beliefs...e.g. that porn is okay) they have to stay together.

which kind of brings me to an interesting point...if they are so able to change and twist the bible to fit their theology, you would think they could come up with something that would allow them to divorce. after being steeped in fundyism for so long and married for 41 years, my parents were able to not only divorce but remarry! (in my dad's case, twice, due to my first stepmother's death) you would think they could pull something out of their ass (although, maybe their ass is full of numbers from ken's school of statistical analysis...).

[jerkit]

it's posts like these that make it painfully obvious that lorken are a couple of miserable people, but according to their religious beliefs (or, rather, what they decide are their religious beliefs, as some things seem to run counter to a lot of typical christian beliefs...e.g. that porn is okay) they have to stay together.

which kind of brings me to an interesting point...if they are so able to change and twist the bible to fit their theology, you would think they could come up with something that would allow them to divorce. after being steeped in fundyism for so long and married for 41 years, my parents were able to not only divorce but remarry! (in my dad's case, twice, due to my first stepmother's death) you would think they could pull something out of their ass (although, maybe their ass is full of numbers from ken's school of statistical analysis...).

But then they couldn't play martyrs on the internet.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Yeah my mom got me a book about being holy instead of happy while I was going through my divorce. Like that was literally the title. I did my best but I'm quite happy to be happy (and divorced) now.

[GeoBQn]

I heard once that when we die and reach the afterlife, the first thing G-d will ask us is, "Did you enjoy my creation?" I'd rather be myself and give a resounding "YES!" than follow Lori's advice and give a resounding "NO!"

[formergothardite]

Lori will never leave Ken. Never. She likes the lifestyle he can provide for her and if that means she has to pretend to be submissive she will do it. I

've been thinking about why Ken doesn't leave and I think at first he loved her, then when he saw her for the manipulative bitch she is he was still such a fundie that he wouldn't divorce her so he just avoided being at home and turned into a bitter, hateful person himself. Now, I think it is a way to punish Lori. Clearly he doesn't love or respect her. He knows that he can do and say whatever he wants and she won't leave. He has even put it on her blog that he can do everything but put his penis in another woman and it won't be adultery and Lori would be sinning if she held it against him. He punishes her by staying and being a horrible husband and she gets back at him with posts like this letting the world know that he sucks as a husband and she is only nice to him because of God.

[browncoatslytherin]

But then they couldn't play martyrs on the internet.

ah yes, of course. because who wants to have a fulfilling, enjoyable life when they could get brownie points from people on the internet?

[salex]

If Ken was less self-absorbed he would realize that Lori is passive-aggressively bashing him with these posts. My husband would be hurt if I ever wrote anything like that about marriage and I would be hurt if he wrote stuff like that, but we are not the never sinning Saint Lori and Saint Ken, so what do we know. :roll:

I suspect he knows exactly what she is saying.

The man has traveled for years, while his stay at home wife has stayed at home. This is a choice he has made. It is not one I see in the lives of most of my friends who have a traveling spouse. They may not travel together all the time, but very very frequently, espeically if they are not in a job that requires them to be in a certain place.

Ken knows how lori feels about him.

I sometimes wonder, if his missionary father is still alive, is Ken waiting until his father dies to divorce Lori. I've seen that happen before.

[Grimalkin]

I think Lori is such a monster because she is so incredibly unhappy. It's obviouse. Her kids are grown up, she has no obligation to them, and she remains in a miserable marriage.

Lori if you are reading this please consider this idea. If you were to legally divorce your husband and remain single you would not be breaking any vows to God. In other words, if you believe in a spiritual Union with Ken, a civil divorce does not mean you are breaking spiritual laws. If you were to remarry you would be breaking that vow.Remain celibate and find other ways to serve the Lord. I bet you have real God given talents and gifts you can use to serve Him that would make you happy. I bet your kids will help you, and it might be tough at first but you can do it. Look into the laws that protect your rights.

This post genuinely makes me sad for you.

[Firiel]

Lori will never leave Ken. Never. She likes the lifestyle he can provide for her and if that means she has to pretend to be submissive she will do it. I

've been thinking about why Ken doesn't leave and I think at first he loved her, then when he saw her for the manipulative bitch she is he was still such a fundie that he wouldn't divorce her so he just avoided being at home and turned into a bitter, hateful person himself. Now, I think it is a way to punish Lori. Clearly he doesn't love or respect her. He knows that he can do and say whatever he wants and she won't leave. He has even put it on her blog that he can do everything but put his penis in another woman and it won't be adultery and Lori would be sinning if she held it against him. He punishes her by staying and being a horrible husband and she gets back at him with posts like this letting the world know that he sucks as a husband and she is only nice to him because of God.

I think they both got married for terrible reasons. She saw a meal ticket. He seems to have had genuine feelings for her, but even from the beginning was unwilling to make normal changes in his activities to accommodate being married (basketball, traveling, expecting sex). So the resentment grew and grew and grew, as did the conflict. Lori has never accepted that she is a manipulative shrew (IS, not was... her methods may have changed post-submission, but her intentions never did), and Ken never accepted that he is a selfish child. "Submission" has helped them stay together by creating an environment where Lori must accept Ken's selfish childishness and where Lori's manipulativeness has an "acceptable" outlet in passive-aggressive blogging.

We've talked before about how Lori's blog tends to actually paint men as petulant children rather than leaders. And we know it makes the assumption that women are all manipulative. I think that's because that is the dynamic in their own marriage and they can't understand a reality outside of their own.

[polecat]

I suspect he knows exactly what she is saying.

The man has traveled for years, while his stay at home wife has stayed at home. This is a choice he has made. It is not one I see in the lives of most of my friends who have a traveling spouse. They may not travel together all the time, but very very frequently, espeically if they are not in a job that requires them to be in a certain place.

Ken knows how lori feels about him.

I sometimes wonder, if his missionary father is still alive, is Ken waiting until his father dies to divorce Lori. I've seen that happen before.

I suspect there are a few reasons he stays. His fundy beliefs might play a role, but her illness may well, too. My theory: She's sick and unable to support herself, and he knows it. What happens when he leaves? Well, one or the other of their kids is going to get stuck with her. He may not love her, but I'm sure he loves his kids and wouldn't dump her on them. He's developed his own coping mechanisms, so he's just gritting his teeth and bearing it until she kicks the bucket. Crude, callous and sad, but I'd bet my eye teeth on it.

[latraviata]

I suspect there are a few reasons he stays. His fundy beliefs might play a role, but her illness may well, too. My theory: She's sick and unable to support herself, and he knows it. What happens when he leaves? Well, one or the other of their kids is going to get stuck with her. He may not love her, but I'm sure he loves his kids and wouldn't dump her on them. He's developed his own coping mechanisms, so he's just gritting his teeth and bearing it until she kicks the bucket. Crude, callous and sad, but I'd bet my eye teeth on it.

Their coping mechanism is religion, the reality is too grim too complicated, so they invented a (religious) concept, that gives them guidance. It is obvious that Lori and Ken never question themselves, never have any doubt, they are always right, they don't have to think, too complicated too scary. What they need to know is all dictated in the bible and the bible leaves so much room for personal interpretation and usage.

[sparkles]

I first read Lori's blog without knowing anything about her, other than she was what she wants to think is a Christian. Before I was through with the first post I was astonished at the amount of anger and bitterness that was oozing out of every word. Nothing about this woman is reflective of god's love, nothing is remotely Christ-like, NOTHING would make me want to learn from her or learn more about the kind of Christianity she promotes. Wise? Meek? Humble? Submissive? I don't think so. Miserable, passive-agressive, hateful, spiteful…absolutely. And determined to drag everyone else down with her. If Lori is a shining example of a godly Christian woman, then god really fucked up somewhere. Why anyone listens to her or seeks her counsel is an absolute mystery.

[Sola]

Dear Lori,

I have been married to my soulmate for more than two decades. We are blissfully happy. If there were ever two people made for each other it's us. And guess what? We are equals, I do not submit, I can refuse sex if I wish - as can he, oh and we're atheists. So please do not project your miserable marriage on other people.