Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

[browncoatslytherin]

right on, firiel, there's quite a few horrible fics that i know of that came to mind...it can be hard to differentiate the truly bad from the trolls at times. not sure if that's a win for the trolls or not...

[Firiel]

I'm leaning towards Poe because of a time where Harry says something "manfully" and because EVERY dialogue tag is the same-- "verb adverb." And the verb is never said. Someone is always "crying indignantly" or "answering diligently." That kind of consistency implies a Poe to me. But I really can't know for sure!

I guess the uncertainty is the point of Poe's Law.

[browncoatslytherin]

i've seen quite a few honest-to-gawd just plain bad-fics that did the same thing. at least they were consistently bad?

[docmom]

It HAS to be a poe. It's just too clever for a real "simple" SAHM fundie. Uncle Vernon sheepishly putting the brownies in the oven. Kids left with babysitters growing up to be "drug-taking Evolutionists". The meal of corn, corn pudding and biscuits. A real fundie would never have Albus Dumbledore married to Minerva McGonagall with Hermione Granger as a child- they'd all have the same last name. And God wouldn't be providing dinner! That's wimmin's work.

[HarryPotterFan]

A Poe?

I can't decide which is worse, this or "My Immortal."

[HarryPotterFan]

Doesn't this writer know that Aunt Petunia wouldn't be caught dead in a pant suit?

[browncoatslytherin]

A Poe?

I can't decide which is worse, this or "My Immortal."

oh gods, that fic -.- the internet is undecided if "my immortal" is a troll or not, though i think most lean toward it being real bad-fic.

[DGayle]

You read many of the reviews. I just skimmed the first page or so. Was there very many positive ones?

I've read probably 80%. Most of the positive ones were jokes. "We get excited to read this story every night to our children, Peter, Paul, ad Petunia! Many thinks, and please write more! Love, Bob and John" Like that. The genuinely positive, encouraging ones are very few, and pages between.

Probably the most impactful reviews are the ones from people who are devout Christians who are telling her that the degree of sexism, racism, and everything, is very unChristian, and she's the sort who makes it hard for a lot of people to want to be a Christian, and she's going to push people further away instead of inspire conversion, which she says will happen in the author note on chapter 4. Unless you're a fundy of the highest order, the kind who thinks even birthdays are bad, then you're going to be offended by this story.

[DGayle]

It HAS to be a poe. It's just too clever for a real "simple" SAHM fundie. Uncle Vernon sheepishly putting the brownies in the oven. Kids left with babysitters growing up to be "drug-taking Evolutionists". The meal of corn, corn pudding and biscuits. A real fundie would never have Albus Dumbledore married to Minerva McGonagall with Hermione Granger as a child- they'd all have the same last name. And God wouldn't be providing dinner! That's wimmin's work.

I don't see any cleverness, just something that sounds like it could have been written by Lori, who is real.

Minerva's last name isn't said, probably on purpose. Hermione's last name will probably be explained away as her being adopted out of a heathen home too late for her name to change, and that it'll change when she marries Harry in a few years.

[Firiel]

New chapter is up. Looks like Ron is a "Slytherin Hat," which I'm pretty sure means he's Catholic. :lol:

I seriously can't decide if this is real or not.

You can all thank Ephesians 5:22-24 for the speedy update =)

This one makes me think it's a Poe for sure. She also posted it to Reddit and a Harry Potter forum herself. That makes me think Poe too. Do fundie moms even know what Reddit is?

But then there's this:

That's a ten commandment!

That's such a small detail, and the syntax is so weird and wrong and off-the-wall, I can't see it being planned. Unless the author is a genius. Or maybe the author has just read a lot of bad fanfiction and has become fluent in the language.

[SuffolkNWhat]

WTactualF have I just read?!

[HarryPotterFan]

WTactualF have I just read?!

SERIOUSLY?! CAN WE BE FRIENDS? CAN I BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR MUM?!

[DGayle]

Ron's praying to a statue and is meant to be Catholic, and he's only barely considered a Christian and only because he believes in god, and Harry is weary, and Rev. Dumby isn't happy with Ron, but non-Christian Voldy's trying to push something through congress that will make "dark days ahead."

Also Ron is a "Slytherin hat." No, the hat didn't put him in Slytherin. He is a hat. All of the Weasleys are at Hogwarts too.

For breakfast, Dumby ordered god to give them a breakfast of 3 pieces of bacon or sausage links, 2 for the ladies, of course, and a whole bunch of other stuff including homefries with garlic. There's no point to the ladies getting a little less bacon or sausage except as a submissive thing. Dumby's also in "manly jeans" and "respectable" cowboy boots. Between that, his southern drawl, and the garlic homefries, it's painfully obvious the writer thinks you have to be a southern Christian of the sort that thinks girls should be in pink dresses and worry about their appearance and shun work to be a good person.

I'm keeping caught up on comments, and a lot of people are asking what she's planning to do when her kids find out this isn't the real Harry Potter, and some sniggering since she said in her latest note that since someone sent her a "PM," with quotes because she doesn't understand how she just made a PM sound fake, no, she's not JKR, as if anyone was really mistaking her for JKR.

I wish this is a troll, but We see enough fundies who really think this stuff. I hope the writer doesn't have daughters.

[HarryPotterFan]

Ron is a hat that prays to false idols? How does that work?

[watchdog]

On a somewhat related note... check out "HogwartsSem" (Hogwarts Seminary) on Twitter.

[SuffolkNWhat]

SERIOUSLY?! CAN WE BE FRIENDS? CAN I BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR MUM?!

Lol I'm sure she'd be thrilled, we got to tour the Qudditch World Cup set, well the parts that weren't green screened anyway, it was filmed near where I grew up in the South Downs (England) didn't get to meet any of the main cast though which was a shame

[BrownieMomma]

I work at a state university.

The Quidditch club just got recognized as an official club. This means the uni will pay for their travel. If I ever find out their schedule, I'm going. I'd love to see how this translates to real world. Like, the seeker.

The pic accompanying article showed a few kids in regular looking tee shirts and shorts with brooms in their hands. Hogwarts style brooms, which I have never seen one like that IRL.

[julie paradox]

Well, I'm not sure why but I'm nailing my colours to the mast:

POE.

[FundieFarmer]

It was very interesting (and also somewhat disturbing) to see the level of submission to her husband, who, to my understanding, seems like the stereotypical overbearing and egotistical headship. That she was feeling ready to give up writing, and this exchange occurs: "I wasn't planning on posting another chapter until things had settled down; but the hubby says the work of the Lord doesn't wait for the whims of men." Really, I don't think God is that intent on the story being posted that an exhausted mother with several sick kids can't wait a day or so to write a page or two.

[browncoatslytherin]

SERIOUSLY?! CAN WE BE FRIENDS? CAN I BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR MUM?!

I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU AND YOUR MUM, SUFFOLK

[Firiel]

Well, I'm not sure why but I'm nailing my colours to the mast:

POE.

I've been agonizing over this for several days, and I have come to the same conclusion.

The birthday comment gave it away. As far as I know, the only Christian-based religious group that is against birthdays is the Jehovah's Witness group. JWs also believe that only 144,000 people will go to actual heaven, so I can't see a JW writing the portion where Hagrid tells Harry all he has to do to go to heaven is pray the Sinner's Prayer.

Are there any fundies we follow who don't do birthdays? Even the Maxwells do birthdays, right? And they are religiously opposed to fun!

[DGayle]

I've been agonizing over this for several days, and I have come to the same conclusion.

The birthday comment gave it away. As far as I know, the only Christian-based religious group that is against birthdays is the Jehovah's Witness group. JWs also believe that only 144,000 people will go to actual heaven, so I can't see a JW writing the portion where Hagrid tells Harry all he has to do to go to heaven is pray the Sinner's Prayer.

Are there any fundies we follow who don't do birthdays? Even the Maxwells do birthdays, right? And they are religiously opposed to fun!

I don't think all fundies celebrate birthdays. We know some don't celebrate Christmas because it's a man-invented holiday. Why would the fundies who won't even celebrate the birth of Jesus celebrate the birth of a bunch of babies born sinning?

[naatashamaru]

seriously Ron is Catholic...which isn't bad...but praying to a statue??? wtf...ummmm NO...UGH

[Jasmar]

I don't think all fundies celebrate birthdays. We know some don't celebrate Christmas because it's a man-invented holiday. Why would the fundies who won't even celebrate the birth of Jesus celebrate the birth of a bunch of babies born sinning?

Those types object to Christmas because it's a pagan holiday, according to them. The evil Catholics took the pagan solstice celebrations, slapped Jesus on it, and have deceived millions through the centuries. Well, that's how tthe thinking goes.

Regular birthdays, not being tainted by Catholicism or paganism, are okay.

Disclaimer: I am not, and have never been, a fundie. But married the son of one.

[FundieFarmer]

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE and the verse of choice is "judge not lest ye be judged..."