Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

[Maggie Mae]

Yeah, but how many Christian housewives know to publish their "rewrite" as fanfiction, and promote it on reddit? That's a user page. She posted it in a sub for hp fanfiction and fanfiction.

[crazyforkate]

...wait, is Snape's first name supposed to be Greg?

[Cran]

No, it's Severus.

[crazyforkate]

I meant in the fanfiction!

[FundieFarmer]

It's baaaaaack, and with these gems...

"Another thing that I have gotten many messages about-the Slytherins. People are saying that, somehow, this means I hate Catholics. Friends-I do not hate Catholics at all! All I want is for Catholics and everybody else to go to heaven and be happy with God! Do you want to know who truly hates Catholics? The so-called Catholic Church. Ironic, hmm? But think about it-why else would they lie to Catholics about salvation? And did you know their leader is a Socialist? It seems like a certain someone doesn't know much about the Bible or the Constitution! And what about there only being one God, and no others? So, if any Catholics are reading this….. I am asking you this in love….. consider which is more important: your so-called religion, or the Truth?"

"Mr. Snape grabbed Draco's wrist and led him out of the cafeteria. Harry smiled holily at the sanctimonious fool. Draco shook his fist.

"I'll get you for this, Potter! Tonight, after dinner, in the courtyard-we will have a pray-off!"

Darnit, Mr. Snape. :google-tactics:

[browncoatslytherin]

a "pray-off"? oh lord.

[Anny Nym]

It's baaaaaack, and with these gems...

"Another thing that I have gotten many messages about-the Slytherins. People are saying that, somehow, this means I hate Catholics. Friends-I do not hate Catholics at all! All I want is for Catholics and everybody else to go to heaven and be happy with God! Do you want to know who truly hates Catholics? The so-called Catholic Church. Ironic, hmm? But think about it-why else would they lie to Catholics about salvation? And did you know their leader is a Socialist? It seems like a certain someone doesn't know much about the Bible or the Constitution! And what about there only being one God, and no others? So, if any Catholics are reading this….. I am asking you this in love….. consider which is more important: your so-called religion, or the Truth?"

"Mr. Snape grabbed Draco's wrist and led him out of the cafeteria. Harry smiled holily at the sanctimonious fool. Draco shook his fist.

"I'll get you for this, Potter! Tonight, after dinner, in the courtyard-we will have a pray-off!"

Darnit, Mr. Snape. :google-tactics:

Oh Dear, A PRAY-OFF...! That really got me laughting out loud, I now wish I ever had read Harry Potter books to proper understand this mess. It does sound just too funny :lol:

[FundieFarmer]

Oh Dear, A PRAY-OFF...! That really got me laughting out loud, I now wish I ever had read Harry Potter books to proper understand this mess. It does sound just too funny :lol:

THANK YOU that y'all get why I am crying of laughter. Troll or not, these ideas are too hilarious.

[Loveday]

It's baaaaaack, and with these gems...

"Another thing that I have gotten many messages about-the Slytherins. People are saying that, somehow, this means I hate Catholics. Friends-I do not hate Catholics at all! All I want is for Catholics and everybody else to go to heaven and be happy with God! Do you want to know who truly hates Catholics? The so-called Catholic Church. Ironic, hmm? But think about it-why else would they lie to Catholics about salvation? And did you know their leader is a Socialist? It seems like a certain someone doesn't know much about the Bible or the Constitution! And what about there only being one God, and no others? So, if any Catholics are reading this….. I am asking you this in love….. consider which is more important: your so-called religion, or the Truth?"

"Mr. Snape grabbed Draco's wrist and led him out of the cafeteria. Harry smiled holily at the sanctimonious fool. Draco shook his fist.

"I'll get you for this, Potter! Tonight, after dinner, in the courtyard-we will have a pray-off!"

Darnit, Mr. Snape. :google-tactics:

"Holily?" "HOLILY???!!" What the hell kind of an adverb is that?

[ILoveJellybeans]

I am ashamed about being excited when I hear a new chapter of this mess is posted.

[DGayle]

I will be disappointed if the pray-off isn't every bit as WTF-hilarious as Mr. Slave and Paris's Whore-off.

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/154692/the-whore-off

[crazyforkate]

I am ashamed about being excited when I hear a new chapter of this mess is posted.

Right there with you. Science, socialism and birthdays...Slytherin Catholics...Greg Freakin' Snape... the sheer amount of WTFery in this is fantastic. I can't wait for Voldie to actually appear. Who wants to bet he has a Ph.D in geology or something?

[FundieFarmer]

"Holily?" "HOLILY???!!" What the hell kind of an adverb is that?

Thank you. Thank. YOU. More than once I've checked to see if these adverbs are real. "Friendlily" is my other favorite. Coupled with the overdose of semi-colons, it's got to stop...

[Maggie Mae]

"She" has posted up to chapter 13, in case anyone is interested. The pray off is as terrible as I imagined.

[crazyforkate]

All right, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it first...Voldemort drives a hybrid.

:lol:

[misslady]

Soooo there's now a fanfic of the fanfic. And it's surprisingly good.

fanfiction.net/s/10758323/1/7-Years-of-Prayer-and-Miracles

[VelociRapture]

. . . . does anyone have eye bleach? Or a rusty spork? I think I'd rather gouge my eyes out than read anymore of that.

My childhood is officially dead.

[Firiel]

Soooo there's now a fanfic of the fanfic. And it's surprisingly good.

fanfiction.net/s/10758323/1/7-Years-of-Prayer-and-Miracles

Draco and Harry are totally going to get together.

[DGayle]

So no mommy or daddy would drive a hybrid, and that's the mark of the devil more or less. She loves chest hair so much that Voldie's is describe even though he's in a tshirt and sweat pants. And Draco cried and became a Gryffindor hat. Calling people hats irritates me.

[Firiel]

Soooo there's now a fanfic of the fanfic. And it's surprisingly good.

fanfiction.net/s/10758323/1/7-Years-of-Prayer-and-Miracles

I'm almost through this now, and I think it's maybe just as bad as the other, but with the roles reversed.

Harry is even more of a sanctimonious twat in this one than he is in the other one.

[misslady]

I'm almost through this now, and I think it's maybe just as bad as the other, but with the roles reversed.

Harry is even more of a sanctimonious twat in this one than he is in the other one.

TBH I gave up on the other one after chapter ... 6 maybe? The writing was just too awful. This at least is better written. And while Harry is pretty sanctimonious I liked the whole "breaking out of the fundie lockstep" ending.

Still not sure why he had a Madonna in his room, though. I didn't get the impression that Hogwarts is Catholic in this version.

[Firiel]

TBH I gave up on the other one after chapter ... 6 maybe? The writing was just too awful. This at least is better written. And while Harry is pretty sanctimonious I liked the whole "breaking out of the fundie lockstep" ending.

Still not sure why he had a Madonna in his room, though. I didn't get the impression that Hogwarts is Catholic in this version.

They did talk about penance and such, which is typically Catholic.

[FloraKitty35]

Right there with you. Science, socialism and birthdays...Slytherin Catholics...Greg Freakin' Snape... the sheer amount of WTFery in this is fantastic. I can't wait for Voldie to actually appear. Who wants to bet he has a Ph.D in geology or something?

or anthropology

[misslady]

They did talk about penance and such, which is typically Catholic.

Ah, true. I wasn't really seeing it as Catholic-type penance, though, since it's described as labor or complete abstention from food rather than extra prayers. But maybe the author is sort of mashing up all strict belief systems vs. progressive Christianity.

[Maggie Mae]

Chapter 14 & the ending.

It's about what I expected.