I'm as big as a mountain ya'll!

[Firiel]

I'm sorry you went through that and can't imagine how difficult it must be to try to enjoy sex when you're being forced to enjoy it. Why some men can't understand that is beyond me.

I'm curious, based on CM's writings so far, how much would you estimate is embellishment and how much is the truth?

It's hard to put a percentage behind it. Basically, I do believe that his wife was likely acting unstable and "crazy." But I believe that he was probably participating in a lot of crazy-making behaviors that pushed her to into instability. I think that she eventually gave up and started obeying him, and he got nicer, so she thought that meant submission worked. I think now whenever she steps out of that box, she sees the mean side of CM and crawls right back in. Specific diagnoses about his wife (especially those "verified" by doctors or therapists) don't ring true to me. (I don't even know how many people think I'm bipolar because one therapist brought up the idea... maybe.) I don't believe that a therapist told him it was a good idea to take her keys and force her to sleep in a cabin outside the house for "defying" him, unless maybe a single non-professional church counselor said so. I don't think she enjoys sex, though I suspect she's gotten much better at pretending. I doubt he graduated from Bible college (though I don't doubt that he attended) and I doubt that he was ever really a pastor. He probably worked part-time at a church for a while or volunteered in a position. Anything he says about his size or athleticism/strength, I take with a grain of salt. He's probably fairly strong naturally and he does physical work, but I suspect he's not pure muscle like he wants us to think. He's probably a former football player with a big paunch now. (I saw my ex claiming that he had run an ultramarathons when the longest thing he'd done was a single half-marathon!) I'm sure he's very charming and nice in person (at first), and I think it upsets him to no end that he can't pull off that charm online.

EDIT: But I don't think she was abusive. I know my ex LOVES to throw around the abuse card about me. That I was abusive. He also likes to tell people I tried to commit suicide 5+ times when the real number is 0. We've already caught CM in some lies. He has no idea what percentage of his visitors are women. Some days, no one thinks he's abusive, some days everyone thought he was abusive but he proved them wrong. Does he take his wife's keys or let her go wherever she wants? These inconsistencies point to someone who is willing to bend or fabricate facts when it fits his image-building.

[Tiger Lily]

It's hard to put a percentage behind it. Basically, I do believe that his wife was likely acting unstable and "crazy." But I believe that he was probably participating in a lot of crazy-making behaviors that pushed her to into instability. I think that she eventually gave up and started obeying him, and he got nicer, so she thought that meant submission worked. I think now whenever she steps out of that box, she sees the mean side of CM and crawls right back in. Specific diagnoses about his wife (especially those "verified" by doctors or therapists) don't ring true to me. (I don't even know how many people think I'm bipolar because one therapist brought up the idea... maybe.) I don't believe that a therapist told him it was a good idea to take her keys and force her to sleep in a cabin outside the house for "defying" him, unless maybe a single non-professional church counselor said so. I don't think she enjoys sex, though I suspect she's gotten much better at pretending. I doubt he graduated from Bible college (though I don't doubt that he attended) and I doubt that he was ever really a pastor. He probably worked part-time at a church for a while or volunteered in a position. Anything he says about his size or athleticism/strength, I take with a grain of salt. He's probably fairly strong naturally and he does physical work, but I suspect he's not pure muscle like he wants us to think. He's probably a former football player with a big paunch now. (I saw my ex claiming that he had run an ultramarathons when the longest thing he'd done was a single half-marathon!) I'm sure he's very charming and nice in person (at first), and I think it upsets him to no end that he can't pull off that charm online.

EDIT: But I don't think she was abusive. I know my ex LOVES to throw around the abuse card about me. That I was abusive. He also likes to tell people I tried to commit suicide 5+ times when the real number is 0. We've already caught CM in some lies. He has no idea what percentage of his visitors are women. Some days, no one thinks he's abusive, some days everyone thought he was abusive but he proved them wrong. Does he take his wife's keys or let her go wherever she wants? These inconsistencies point to someone who is willing to bend or fabricate facts when it fits his image-building.

Re: the wife's submission, he's probably nicer now that he's getting what he wants (control, sex). That makes sense. As long as she wants to see the "nice" husband, she'll obey.

Re: the pastor thing, I had suspicions as soon as I read that. He mentioned once that he attended one year of Bible college and it wasn't for him so I wondered why any church would hire a young man with no degree to pastor their church. CM also mentioned once that he had pastored three separate churches for one year each which says more to me about HIM than it does about these churches. More specifically, WHY did he leave each church after one year?

I definitely agree about his willingness to bend the facts. We've seen that when he visited FJ.

[Firiel]

Re: the wife's submission, he's probably nicer now that he's getting what he wants (control, sex). That makes sense. As long as she wants to see the "nice" husband, she'll obey.

Re: the pastor thing, I had suspicions as soon as I read that. He mentioned once that he attended one year of Bible college and it wasn't for him so I wondered why any church would hire a young man with no degree to pastor their church. CM also mentioned once that he had pastored three separate churches for one year each which says more to me about HIM than it does about these churches. More specifically, WHY did he leave each church after one year?

I definitely agree about his willingness to bend the facts. We've seen that when he visited FJ.

That's funny! I had missed him saying he only attended a year of Bible college, yet somehow knew that when he said he attended Bible college, he hadn't graduated. And yeah, he "worked for" churches. Probably volunteered or maybe had a part-time position. He definitely wasn't a pastor in the regularly understood sense of the word. People who lie regularly to make themselves look better get no respect from me, even if they are MEN.

[polecat]

That's funny! I had missed him saying he only attended a year of Bible college, yet somehow knew that when he said he attended Bible college, he hadn't graduated. And yeah, he "worked for" churches. Probably volunteered or maybe had a part-time position. He definitely wasn't a pastor in the regularly understood sense of the word. People who lie regularly to make themselves look better get no respect from me, even if they are MEN.

He was a custodian. I don't know why I think that, but I do.

[littlemommy]

The Griddle Giggler called us bitches in the comments section. You're right, CabbyMan, she IS feisty!

Or it's not your wife. Maybe you just wanted to call us bitches. So coarse and manly!!

[Koala]

The Griddle Giggler called us bitches in the comments section. You're right, CabbyMan, she IS feisty!

Or it's not your wife. Maybe you just wanted to call us bitches. So coarse and manly!!

But, but....Lori is reading those comments :o And Lori doesn't tolerate that kind of language! That's why she couldn't come here. According to Ken she's almost "puritanical" about what she watches and reads. I guess she makes exceptions when it's someone like SSM or (and this is my favorite name for him yet) Storage Sociopath. (that's awesome, whoever came up with it :P )

[Firiel]

I've managed to piss everyone off! I was even trying to be completely nice and respectful in my comments. Apparently, it's abusing the comment policy to not let him get in the last word? I admit, I'm very bad at not having the last word. Usually, it's an impulse I try to quell, but I let it run rampant today.

EDIT: Also, WHY does everyone assume that we all hate SAHMs here? Just because we think that you shouldn't teach that mothers who work hate their children or hate God doesn't mean that we hate SAHMs. I guess it's the black-and-white thinking? If x is good, then y must be bad. So if we think working mothers are good we must think SAHMs are bad?

[salex]

You are all more patient than I am. Now that we're on reruns with his stories of manly force and ruling over his wife-- well let's just say not a show I need to see again.

WHo cares what he and Lori the monster and Ken the Monster's Groom believe in thier purposely mistaken reading of the bible.

If his wife is into being a full time sub, then yippee for her. But who wants to hear about it all the effing time.

Bleh.

[Koala]

EDIT: Also, WHY does everyone assume that we all hate SAHMs here? Just because we think that you shouldn't teach that mothers who work hate their children or hate God doesn't mean that we hate SAHMs. I guess it's the black-and-white thinking? If x is good, then y must be bad. So if we think working mothers are good we must think SAHMs are bad?

I've been a sahm for 11 years.

[usmcmom]

Wow! It's like The Hunger Games over there. Cabinet Man is, of course, the head of his own little alliance and when anybody disagrees with him, Ken and the other ladies go on the attack. Except now Ken has dared to disagree with him (over whether men should be called "lord") so he, clearly, will be the next one sacrificed. :popcorn2:

It really is some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read - a bunch of "Christians" attacking others, trying to tear them down in an effort to build their own religion up. Blech.

[polecat]

Wow! It's like The Hunger Games over there. Cabinet Man is, of course, the head of his own little alliance and when anybody disagrees with him, Ken and the other ladies go on the attack. Except now Ken has dared to disagree with him (over whether men should be called "lord") so he, clearly, will be the next one sacrificed. :popcorn2:

It really is some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read - a bunch of "Christians" attacking others, trying to tear them down in an effort to build their own religion up. Blech.

Wardrobe Wanker insists on being called lord? lmao!

[usmcmom]

Wardrobe Wanker insists on being called lord? lmao!

Well, he doesn't insist on it but seems to think if he DID want that, then, naturally his wife would call him "lord". Or something like that. I kind of felt my brain bend as I read it.

[littlemommy]

Awww, now they're just angrily defending their kink.

Also, CabbyMan accuses a poster of "coming on the days the feminists attack". Errr, do we have scheduled days? I feel so left out. :(

[chaotic life]

My wife does not consider it abuse, at all. in fact she usually raring to go….

I know just as many husbands that would consider it abuse to NOT have sex at least every other day and for it to be enjoyable. But my guess is you give the male side of that equation no credence. Right? because how men feel & believe about this subject means nothing, right? Because laying next to your wife night after night, the woman you’ve loved, provided for, cared for and then being turned down- that’s not “abusiveâ€, right?

That cretian is a msygonistic pig. Plain and simple. That his wife has been beaten down for so long by the demands and abuse that she has normalized it does not prove he is right. It's called Battered Wives Syndrome. I've personally witnessed a friend who only thought she had endured emotional abuse on the day she finally realized that coercive, controlling sex is not merely abusive but that she had been raped every day for over twenty years.

[Rescinded and Mended]

But, but....Lori is reading those comments :o And Lori doesn't tolerate that kind of language! That's why she couldn't come here. According to Ken she's almost "puritanical" about what she watches and reads. I guess she makes exceptions when it's someone like SSM or (and this is my favorite name for him yet) Storage Sociopath. (that's awesome, whoever came up with it :P )

That was me. :D

Where Storage Socipath is concerned, I'll gladly take ownership of being a bitch. If even half the stuff that Cabinetman has claimed he's done to his wife is true, then he's got much bigger problems than my poor attitude toward him.

I find myself genuinely wondering if anyone in their area has checked recently to see if his wife is still alive.

[RosyDaisy]

I'm absolutely convinced he's fake. Oh, and Cabinetman, I'm not mad at you. I actually feel sorry for you. What happened to you to make you this way?

[Firiel]

Oh, guys! Ken just told me I may win back my ex-husband! Do you think it could be?!

[Coconut Flan]

Shows what Ken knows doesn't it? Why would you want him back?

[polecat]

Oh, guys! Ken just told me I may win back my ex-husband! Do you think it could be?!

Yep, all you have to do is be submissive in everything and stop dissing his girlfriend, yo! That man'll be putty in your hands!

Why is it these people always use submission as a way to manipulate men? You'd think this would be offensive to these misogynist types. I could get on board with the idea of wifely submission (although I definitely lean more towards mutual submission) if it was used as a way to show honor, respect and love to your partner. But it never is! Not by Lorken, not by SSM and not by any of these other halfwit christosphere or manosphere bloggers. It's apparently all about getting what you want out of someone else, putting something over on them.

Well FTN. :disgust: I'm not down with that.

[Firiel]

Shows what Ken knows doesn't it? Why would you want him back?

I guess because I haven't had enough of narcissists? I mean, I do keep visiting Storage Sociopath's blog, so that argument may have merit...

[thoughtful]

It's hard to put a percentage behind it.

Oh, c'mon -- follow CM's example and make something up!

I just looked down at my dog, napping beside my chair. I think he's a better example of masculinity than ol' Big as a Mountain BoxBoy, and he is snuggly, loving, gentle, funny, charming, dependent, and has no testicles.

[HoneyBunny]

How do these guys (CM and Ken) manage to get ANYTHING done at work? You know, when my husband was at work, he worked. When I was at work, I worked. And when we were home in the evenings, it was about family. Not trying to preach or defend. They're a joke.

[AuntCloud]

Can I join the fun and contribute Armoire Asshole? (Please tell me I'm being original and it hasn't been done to death before).

[alba]

Yep, all you have to do is be submissive in everything and stop dissing his girlfriend, yo! That man'll be putty in your hands!

Why is it these people always use submission as a way to manipulate men? You'd think this would be offensive to these misogynist types. I could get on board with the idea of wifely submission (although I definitely lean more towards mutual submission) if it was used as a way to show honor, respect and love to your partner. But it never is! Not by Lorken, not by SSM and not by any of these other halfwit christosphere or manosphere bloggers. It's apparently all about getting what you want out of someone else, putting something over on them.

Well FTN. :disgust: I'm not down with that.

You know what it reminds me of? The way I used to behave towards my parents when I was a kid. I was naturally a more obedient child than my sister (not that my parents expected obedience, but I'm the kind of person who tries to avoid conflict wherever possible, whereas she's stubborn as anything), and around the age of nine or ten I realised I could use that to manipulate my parents. If I saw Mum tying up the garbage bag, for instance, I'd hurry to start loading the dishwasher so then she'd have to ask my sister to take out the gross smelly garbage, because I was busy.

The thing is, I grew out of this behaviour, because it's childish behaviour; the fundie marriage model expects adults to act like children.

[Loveday]

Now he's defending Ken against another commenter:

Cane Caldo to Ken: I have to say that, given your preference for America over Christ and the Bible, it seems to me you don’t know what you’re talking about…that you can’t know.

Cabinet Man to Cane: I’m not always in agreement with Ken, but he’s one of the good guys. By a long shot. Don’t know if you are familar with him, Lori Alexander’s husband- but he has been maligned and harrassed more than most in America for the name of Christ and teaches biblical marriage daily.

Poor, persecuted Ken. Excuse me while I die laughing. :laughing-rolling: