I'm as big as a mountain ya'll!

[Koala]

Cabinetboy is reliving the glory days again

 

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I refused to let my wife run our marriage, our sex life, or the direction of our lives.

Because sex is his choice and he'll decide when they have it damn it!

 

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My wife, was constantly threatening divorce and even packing up and leaving. Not before throwing items, attacking my verbally and sometimes physically. I’m as large as a mountain so I was never in danger but it made it evident that she had never fully committed to marriage, and marriage is not something you can do one foot in and one foot out.

Now remember this line about how crazy and violent (and of course how suicidal she was), because in a minute he's going be real generous and give her joint custody of the kids.

 

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My first step was I brought her sin into the light. All these years I thought I had been protecting my wife by not exposing her rebellion. That day the first thing I did was inform our family and close friends exactly what was going on. Many did not believe me at first, but I had proof and was fortunate enough that my wife, even in rebellion that had come close to hatred for me, was honest and owned up to her behavior.

Convince everyone she's nuts (thus limiting the number of people she can turn to for help)? Check.

 

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Second, I gave her an ultimatum. I explained I did not want a divorce. I was extremely hurt and frustrated by her, but that I did love her and was going to honor the covenant that I had made before God to her. If she wanted a divorce, I would grant it to her. I would buy her a house, give her six months of living expenses, her car, split custody of the kids and help her until she got set up on her own with a job, etc. All she had to do was say the word. If she chose divorce, those were the grounds I was willing to grant. Otherwise it would be war. I had proof, I had some backing from others, even if it was minimal at this stage. I would fight tooth and nail, no matter how set the system was against me. I would fight for my children and for assets. I would also get remarried & she knew I would have no problem in doing so.

You'll notice that he in laboring under the delusion that he set the terms for the divorce, not a judge. He was "granting" her these concessions. However, he goes on threaten that if she doesn't do the divorce his way it would be "war" and he would fight her for custody and assets (all the while rubbing it in her face that he could easily replace her with no problem).

 

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However, if she was going to stay there was going to be some big time changes. No more hateful words, but only respect towards me. No more distant sex or lack of sex, but at the very minimum sex every other day-period, forever. No more trying to get physical with me or throwing things. And I laid down the law. Each offense had a consequence for discipline. If, for example, she could not control her emotions and threw something or tried getting physical with me- she had to go to a hotel or spend the night at a guest cabin (fully furnished, with water, electricity, etc.) on our property. If she got controlling with sex she had to sleep on the couch. If our marriage bed was not something that she wanted a part of, she did not need to be in it. I told her I did not want her meeting with certain friends who were active in encouraging rebellion and that she could not attend certain functions any longer with these particular friends. Upon deciding to stay & reconcile, and live a biblical marriage my wife (along with her counselor) agreed to these terms.

So she has sex when he says or he "disciplines" her. And of course her counselor was TOTALLY on board with this.

 

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There was two nights she had to sleep in the cabin & one night she had to sleep on the couch that first couple of months. She had years of habits of disrespect and rebellion to overcome. Yes, I followed through with disciplining my wife.

Or she could have just told him to fuck off and there wouldn't have been a damn thing he could do about it other than go sleep in the cabin or on the sofa himself.

 

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understand that this is risky. You can be the most loving & innocent husband in the world and still end up divorced, never seeing your children, losing your home, half of your assets and much of your future earnings. Not to mention the risk of jail.

Umm, not that he was doing anything illegal...so umm, don't call anyone, k? Promise you won't send help? Because we're happy. Help is not needed here. Have I mentioned I'm as big as a mountain? And LAWYER!

[feministxtian]

I think he's full of shit. "Big as a Mountain"....RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!! He's a pathetic, knuckle-dragging, insecure piece of shit who talks a lot of shit but I bet the minute someone stands up to him he turns into a mewling kitten.

Cabinetman...I think you're full of shit. Man up and be honest instead of constantly spewing your he-man bullshit, OK?

[Rescinded and Mended]

I just knew when I saw the the title of this thread that this was going to be about Cabinetman. Lawdy, someone get the smelling salts, I'm about to be overcome by the vapors! Cabinetman is as big as a mountain, and I just can't handle so much manliness in this corner of the internet, y'all! :roll:

I'm officially calling shenanigans on Storage Sociopath having any type of lawyer on retainer. Seems like any real lawyer looking at his psychotic internet posts would recognize him for the deranged lunatic that he is and drop him like a hot potato. I would hope that said lawyer could also request that the authorities in his area keep an eye on his behavior, even if he hasn't done anything yet that's technically illegal.

Cabinetman, you don't need the denizens of Free Jinger to make you look bad. You're doing a fine job of that yourself. And I hope that your poor wife and kids get the hell away from an abusive monster like you.

[RosyDaisy]

I think everything Cabinetman posts is fake. He's trying to get cred with MRAs.

[Anny Nym]

Everytime I read a quote by "Cabinetman" I can´t help it but feeling strongly reminded of Cletus Spuckler from The Simpsons...

[salex]

I love how the discourse is so clearly all about him.

Instead of the two of them disagreeing, she is in "rebellion."

Instead of making sex something she looked forward to, it is a scheduled maintenance task that she is ordered to enjoy on schedule--sex every other day and change the oil every 3000 miles.

I wonder, also, about her counselor

I get the feeling any counseling was from some religious nutjob picked by cabinetman.

I notice we don't hear what her imput to the direction of their marriage that he would not allow really was. I gather much of their fighting was about frequency of sex, based on how much he dwells on it.

And, btw, is he writing this again? Is this the big success of his life "How I killed my wife's will and convinced her to stay with me by browbeating her, and threatening to take the kids until she agreed to fuck me on demand." What a wonderful love story. Can't wait for the movie.

[chaotic life]

Having not followed this quack job previously, I can state without a doubt what he did is abusive. His wife likely stayed initially out of fear that she couldn't do it without him, or because she was beaten down before he 'laid down the law'. Every single thing he did to her comes from the playbook of abuse that it seems every abusive spouse reads and follows so carefully.

[alba]

This post is so weird. First of all he starts by describing his wife verbally and physically abusing him, then goes onto detail how he emotionally and sexually abused her.

[Guest]

As a child of parents who went through a messy divorce, the custody of the children part sickens me. He offers her split custody of the children, but if she doesn't accept his terms, he will fight tooth and nail to have full custody. Sounds to me like cabinetman doesn't want his children so much as he wants power over his wife. Bastard.

[polecat]

This post is so weird. First of all he starts by describing his wife verbally and physically abusing him, then goes onto detail how he emotionally and sexually abused her.

They sound like a charming couple, don't they? (tic)

If his wife was indeed physically and verbally abusive as he claims, then he was a negligent abusive POS himself for leaving his kids vulnerable around her. If anything he's saying is true, he should have packed his kids up and gotten the hell out of dodge while filing for a restraining order, pressing charges and filing for divorce.

Of course, that's a huge, massive IF. Verbally abusive quite possible means "standing up for herself" while physically abusive means "not being enthusiastic enough during sex." I know full well that women can be and are physically and emotionally abusive, but given what I know about MRAs and fundy men like CupboardCrapBag, I have my doubts about this particular story.

[Firiel]

The shit about being enthusiastic during sex makes me sick because I've been through that. My ex made it clear that I should be ready and willing to have sex fairly frequently, but he also insisted that I enjoy it and claimed he couldn't enjoy it if I didn't. And of course, being pressured to enjoy sex is not going to help a person enjoy sex. Instead of working with me to figure out how my body worked or encouraging me in healthy ways, it was just, "You need to enjoy it so I do."

It was seriously awful. The above doesn't give justice to how much that attitude screwed with me.

Actually, Wardrobe Wanker reminds me A LOT of my ex, even in his writing style. I feel like I can pick out all the points where he is making shit up and make a good guess at the kernel of truth behind it.

[jerkit]

Where is the idea that egalitarian and wife-led marriage being taught in the "modern church" coming from? Every evangelical church I've ever been to is squarely in the complementarian camp.

[Firiel]

Where is the idea that egalitarian and wife-led marriage being taught in the "modern church" coming from? Every evangelical church I've ever been to is squarely in the complementarian camp.

Yeah, but Matt Walsh is too "egalitarian" for this guy, so who knows what he really means by egalitarian and wife-led. Maybe it just means marriages where the man isn't abusive. It seems like any marriage where the wife has a real voice in what is going on don't work for CM.

On a related note, in my experience it seems that most healthy "complementarian" marriages between conservative Christians are functionally egalitarian. Like my sister and her husband would give lip service to the man leading the family and the wife submitting to that leadership, but in reality, she tends to handle finances and takes the lead in that area because she is a planner who enjoys the task and is better at it than he is. She takes the lead in areas where she is more gifted, and he takes the lead in areas where he is more gifted. Actually, considering she is a more dominant personality than he is, it might be one of those "wife-led" marriages CM complains so much about. But because she is aware of her ability/tendency to dominate and because she loves and respects her husband and they have good communication, they have a healthy marriage where both people have a voice.

[jerkit]

Yeah, but Matt Walsh is too "egalitarian" for this guy, so who knows what he really means by egalitarian and wife-led. Maybe it just means marriages where the man isn't abusive. It seems like any marriage where the wife has a real voice in what is going on don't work for CM.

On a related note, in my experience it seems that most healthy "complementarian" marriages between conservative Christians are functionally egalitarian. Like my sister and her husband would give lip service to the man leading the family and the wife submitting to that leadership, but in reality, she tends to handle finances and takes the lead in that area because she is a planner who enjoys the task and is better at it than he is. She takes the lead in areas where she is more gifted, and he takes the lead in areas where he is more gifted. Actually, considering she is a more dominant personality than he is, it might be one of those "wife-led" marriages CM complains so much about. But because she is aware of her ability/tendency to dominate and because she loves and respects her husband and they have good communication, they have a healthy marriage where both people have a voice.

I asked. Couldn't help myself.

Fortunately he's not a dirty deleter like lori.

[Firiel]

I asked. Couldn't help myself.

Fortunately he's not a dirty deleter like lori.

Unfortunately, now he knows it's you, and you will be in for it when he tells his "lawyer on retainer"! :lol:

[jerkit]

Unfortunately, now he knows it's you, and you will be in for it when he tells his "lawyer on retainer"! :lol:

Come at me bro! Your lawyer on retainer will have so much ammo to use against me with my respectful question for clarification.

[MamaJunebug]

Everytime I read a quote by "Cabinetman" I can´t help it but feeling strongly reminded of Cletus Spuckler from The Simpsons...

Except .... Cletus and Brandene seem to have a mutually respectful relationship most of the time!

[Closed Womb]

I think everything Cabinetman posts is fake. He's trying to get cred with MRAs.

I hope so. I sincerely hope it's all fake. He'd be just as f-ed up for fantasizing about treating his wife this way, but there wouldn't be someone dealing with his cruelty on a daily basis (or servicing him on an every-other-day basis.) It really makes me sick to think of a woman living under these rules (unless by true agreement, such as a D/s relationship...although that kind of makes me cringe too, but I know that subs have real choice and the power to leave, unlike this poor soul.)

[jerkit]

He answered, but I'm still not sure what he's talking about. Every evangelical church I've ever stepped foot in has taught "wives submit" from the pulpit. It's not the end-all-be-all doctrine that it is with most of the blogs I follow, but it's absolutely there.

[jerkit]

Also, in case anyone was wondering, but my username is not about masturbation lol. I compete in olympic weight lifting.

[Firiel]

Funny about his comment on your username here, ha ha. The question is... is his mind in the gutter, reading for innuendos that aren't there (for shame, Cabinetboy!) or does he think that weightlifting isn't nice because you're a woman?

EDIT: Or maybe he's just scared because you are stronger than he is.

[jerkit]

Funny about his comment on your username here, ha ha. The question is... is his mind in the gutter, reading for innuendos that aren't there (for shame, Cabinetboy!) or does he think that weightlifting isn't nice because you're a woman?

EDIT: Or maybe he's just scared because you are stronger than he is.

I remember this one Stevie sermon where he was like "no woman could EVER beat me in any physical endeavor."

My face got all 0_o and I was like "enter, jerkit"

[jerkit]

And I'm super eye rolly that lori will engage with me on someone else's blog but not her own.

[longskirtlotsakids]

I do hope Cabinetweenie's wife reads here, realizes that he has completely fucked himself by making his abusive ways public, and goes back into rebellion. A GAL would see this shit for what it is and order supervised visitation with the shit this dude is putting out.

[PennySycamore]

Also, in case anyone was wondering, but my username is not about masturbation lol. I compete in olympic weight lifting.

Just think of what he'd be thinking if your username was "Snatch"!