Sparkling Lauren, a super special sparkling surrogacy and a "gayby"

[Annasopinion]

I agree 16strong. I think questioning by her family has led to her apparent estrangement from both her sisters and her mother (Manou). Laurens sisters were both at Elijah's "unfuneral", as was her mother and I'm sure there were photos on the blog of them all. Since then, the sisters and Manou have disappeared from both the blog, and presumably Lauren's life. Manou used to comment on the blog fairly regularly, but I haven't seen a comment from her for quite a while. Lauren's older sister is a doctor in NSW, and Lauren would visit her when she was in the area, but this doesn't seem to happen anymore either.

If her sisters and mother were to question the conditions in which Lauren was forcing the girls to live, I don't doubt she woukd pack up and leave not only their house, but their lives as well.

And yet, when she went to Europe for 2 weeks, she dumped her girls on a fellow blogger instead of with either of her parents, or david's parents or her sister. That doesn't speak to me of having people around her.

[DaffyDill]

And yet, when she went to Europe for 2 weeks, she dumped her girls on a fellow blogger instead of with either of her parents, or david's parents or her sister. That doesn't speak to me of having people around her.

That's exactly what we are saying, too. Apologies if I didn't explain myself clearly - it's been one of those days!

By the time she sparkled off to Europe, her mother and sisters were no longer part of her life as they once were. Her father may have been, can't recall, but her mother and sisters were definitely conspicious by their absence. It's interesting to note too that as a doctor, the older sister would be a mandatory reporter of abuse, neglect etc.

[Mama Mia]

i just couldn't get over how happy her parents looked at the unfuneral. I understand that it was probably to try to keep their daughter as sane as possible by putting on a brave front, but it seems like actual smiles, not a "he's in a better place" bittersweet kind of smile.

with her dad and sisters:

2.JPG[/attachment]

Boarding school friends who came to the unfuneral:

[attachment=0]3.JPG[/attachment]

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1657 (the unfuneral at a park)

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1652 (at the burial)

Wow. Just...wow :shock: I get the whole " un funeral" thing, and probably at least half the funerals I've been to are called " a celebration of life" instead. I even like the park play date for kids thing and many I've been to focus more on the sharing funny / sweet aspects of the persons life than sermons and people will have happy moments. If it's a very elderly person who died, or someone who had suffered from a long illness, there might even be far more laughter than tears. But I can't IMAGINE a memorial service of any kind for a perfectly healthy baby that was just murdered where all the close family look so happy! What the actual fuck?! They don't look at all like I would expect - where they maybe were sharing a bittersweet memory - they don't even look like they had BEEN crying, or sad or......anything.

And that quote from Lauren about boarding school is so sad, and explains so much about her. Just sad. All of it,

[Coco]

Wow. Just...wow :shock: I get the whole " un funeral" thing, and probably at least half the funerals I've been to are called " a celebration of life" instead. I even like the park play date for kids thing and many I've been to focus more on the sharing funny / sweet aspects of the persons life than sermons and people will have happy moments. If it's a very elderly person who died, or someone who had suffered from a long illness, there might even be far more laughter than tears. But I can't IMAGINE a memorial service of any kind for a perfectly healthy baby that was just murdered where all the close family look so happy! What the actual fuck?! They don't look at all like I would expect - where they maybe were sharing a bittersweet memory - they don't even look like they had BEEN crying, or sad or......anything.

And that quote from Lauren about boarding school is so sad, and explains so much about her. Just sad. All of it,

Re bolded: exactly.It's just really bizarre. And terribly sad. The only one who seems to have been crying is one of her boarding school friends. Maybe Lauren and her family have just been knocked down so often by life that no honest emotion gets through anymore.

My heart just breaks for those kids. They're bound to have genetic predisposition to some mood disorders. It's a vicious cycle: parent's struggles cause kids to be put through hell and that increases their likelihood to have struggles too. They need stability and routine.

And no good mom would expose a sensitive child to that artwork. Or any child. Those heartbreaking pictures of Brioni in her sad little hat from the newest post. She had to show the artist lady her animal book and her own drawing of 'animals with feelings'... and then the picture of Brioni with her hand on the broken earth painting. She doesn't need a mom who drags her to traumatic places and then makes her discuss her feelings about those things. And then photographs and blogs about it to the entire world. It's like Lauren just keeps putting salt in her kids' wounds instead of protecting them enough to let them heal. She needs to stop and get therapy and heal herself, and quit crushing her daughters' little spirits as some kind of sick validation that Lauren's own crushed spirit is the only authentic way to live. Every single one of us goes through some kind of hell. But a really selfless parent will do whatever they can to heal themselves and protect the innocence of their kids for as long as possible. /rant

[August]

She will give the baby over.

But I doubt she has another baby "to keep" because babies are hard work. Won't suit the lifestyle. Her other kids can entertain themselves and free range. A baby would totally cramp her style.

Elijah was the only baby she actually mothered. The first four were all Babywised. You could tell she was freaked the fuck out and couldn't cope with the amount of time and energy parenting a baby takes.

[16strong]

i just couldn't get over how happy her parents looked at the unfuneral. I understand that it was probably to try to keep their daughter as sane as possible by putting on a brave front, but it seems like actual smiles, not a "he's in a better place" bittersweet kind of smile.

with her dad and sisters:

2.JPG[/attachment]

Boarding school friends who came to the unfuneral:

[attachment=0]3.JPG[/attachment]

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1657 (the unfuneral at a park)

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1652 (at the burial)

WTF is this, a family reunion???? It's a BABY'S FUNERAL and they're all laughing and smiling like they just collected their annual commemorative T-shirts and piled their plates high with watermelon and pasta salad. I can't even. It's just too fucked up. The crazy is clearly genetic and it obviously didn't miss a branch on the way down.

[Rachel333]

An acquaintance lost two teenage sisters in a car wreck last year, and they posted a bunch of smiling pictures from the funeral on facebook, including the rest of the family getting together for a "goofy pose" photo. They did a couple news segments where they appeared smiling, talking about how happy they were that the girls were finally in heaven.

I don't think people can't smile or have to only show sadness at a funeral, but I think there is too much pressure on Christians sometimes to act happy because they know their loved one is in heaven and they "do not grieve as those who have no hope."

[shedemei]

Everyone grieves differently, and it may be that Lauren only published the happy photos.

[Mama Mia]

That's exactly what we are saying, too. Apologies if I didn't explain myself clearly - it's been one of those days!

By the time she sparkled off to Europe, her mother and sisters were no longer part of her life as they once were. Her father may have been, can't recall, but her mother and sisters were definitely conspicious by their absence. It's interesting to note too that as a doctor, the older sister would be a mandatory reporter of abuse, neglect etc.

Just a side note, and I'm sure it varies depending on your state/ country, but generally mandated reporters are only mandated to report suspected abuse and neglect that they encounter in their professional capacity - it doesn't extend to what you encounter in your personal life.

[utter solitude]

Who are we to judge what someone should look like at a funeral? My mother smiled at her father's funeral when people took pictures, and she worshipped the man. So did several of my extended family members, and they were all heartbroken. I don't see a few smiling photos as odd.

Lauren is not mentally stable, and I agree that there could be any number of photos of unhappy looking individuals... and Lauren could have been telling them to smile for the camera.

[Rebelwife]

In the photo of the 4 people carrying the coffin, I wonder if her mom is really smiling? That's similar to the face I make when I'm squinting in bright sunlight. Without seeing her eyes, it's hard to say.

[Idolatry]

We all handle grief differently. Some of us laugh. Some of us give interviews to the media for attention. Some of us cry. Some of us stop wearing shoes. Some of us carry babies to give to men across the world who we claim are in love with us.

[ladyaudley]

I think the boarding school issue is fascinating. I would love if someone would start an Ask Me Anything thread about it.

I went to boarding school from the age of nine and am happy to start one. Do I just do it or do I need to ask someone?

ETA:

I was particularly struck by this, which seems quite applicable to Lauren:

"Boarding children invariably construct a survival personality that endures long after school and operates strategically. On rigid timetables, in rule-bound institutions, they must be ever alert to staying out of trouble. Crucially, they must not look unhappy, childish or foolish – in any way vulnerable – or they will be bullied by their peers. So they dissociate from all these qualities, project them out on to others, and develop duplicitous personalities that are on the run, which is why ex-boarders make the best spies.

Now attached to this internal structure instead of a parent, the boarding child survives, but takes into adulthood a permanent unconscious anxiety and will rarely develop what Daniel Goleman calls emotional intelligence. In adulthood he sticks to the same tactics: whenever he senses a threat of being made to look foolish, he will strike."

I know she was sent to boarding school because her parents were missionaries, but the message it would have given her is no different from the child of a captain of industry: "You're less important than my work and your emotional needs don't matter."

right, I find this incredibly fearmongering. Yes, prestigious English boarding schools are a whole different breed to others, but not everyone who goes to boarding school learns to disassociate from their emotions and becomes a heartless Tory spy. Jesus.

Boarding school is right for some children and not for others. Enjoying boarding school does not mean you're a snide, heartless snitch with no emotional attachment to your parents. Sending your children to boarding school young does not automatically mean you love them less than your work.

[happy atheist]

I went to boarding school from the age of nine and am happy to start one. Do I just do it or do I need to ask someone?

Just head on over to the AMA sub forum in Are You There Free Jinger, It's Me Margaret. No special permission needed.

eta link: viewforum.php?f=16

[ViolaSebastian]

I think we as Americans, where boarding school is less common, especially amongst the middle class, have a certain view of boarding schools that are heavily influenced by the likes of Dickens, Bronte, and Burnett.

In the sphere in which I grew up, you only got sent to boarding school if you were extremely naughty and your parents thought a military school might do you some good in the behavior department.

[ladyaudley]

I think the boarding school issue is fascinating. I would love if someone would start an Ask Me Anything thread about it.

here you go, Mama Mia: viewtopic.php?f=16&t=22858

[gezykah]

Just a side note, and I'm sure it varies depending on your state/ country, but generally mandated reporters are only mandated to report suspected abuse and neglect that they encounter in their professional capacity - it doesn't extend to what you encounter in your personal life.

When I was a mandated reporter in Massachusetts they made it pretty clear to us that in this state it extended outside of work as well.

[So Many Lies]

i just couldn't get over how happy her parents looked at the unfuneral. I understand that it was probably to try to keep their daughter as sane as possible by putting on a brave front, but it seems like actual smiles, not a "he's in a better place" bittersweet kind of smile.

with her dad and sisters:

2.JPG[/attachment]

Boarding school friends who came to the unfuneral:

[attachment=0]3.JPG[/attachment]

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1657 (the unfuneral at a park)

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1652 (at the burial)

This funeral would be more appropriate for a family who had a child with a longstanding illness. Or at a pinch an older child or person who had died in a freak accident. This seems strange for a baby who has been murdered at 7 months. There isn't much to celebrate. I'm not saying people are not entitled to do what they want. It's just that calling it a "celebration of life" seems cruel since life for Elijah had barely began.

[So Many Lies]

We all handle grief differently. Some of us laugh. Some of us give interviews to the media for attention. Some of us cry. Some of us stop wearing shoes. Some of us carry babies to give to men across the world who we claim are in love with us.

Some of us give up our perfectly nice homes that some would kill for, to travel in a bus and be an itinerant freeloader, er I mean gracing us all with her sparkly ministry.

[FJismyheadship]

When I was a mandated reporter in Massachusetts they made it pretty clear to us that in this state it extended outside of work as well.

Same in Arkansas. I had a nurse tell me if she didn't report when someone confided in her that they were having really bad thoughts about their kids (even if they would never act on them) she could lose her job... whether or not they were friends.

[Mama Mia]

Same in Arkansas. I had a nurse tell me if she didn't report when someone confided in her that they were having really bad thoughts about their kids (even if they would never act on them) she could lose her job... whether or not they were friends.

Like I said it must vary by areas. In California, at least a few years ago when I last had to attend a training, they were very clear you weren't obligated to report anything you saw in your off time, or outside of your professional scope. So, for example, if you were at the store and saw someone kicking a 2 year old out of a car and drive off to continue their screaming match with your boyfriend - in a busy parking lot ( this actually happened to me, and yes, of course I made a report. ) there were a few different scenarios legally : if I was at the store on the clock buying office supplies, obligated to report. If I was at the store after work buying groceries and it was a client I observed doing this -- obligated to report. If I was there after work buying groceries and it was my meth head cousin endangering her baby- not legally mandated to report.

[Katie_Bug]

Like I said it must vary by areas. In California, at least a few years ago when I last had to attend a training, they were very clear you weren't obligated to report anything you saw in your off time, or outside of your professional scope. So, for example, if you were at the store and saw someone kicking a 2 year old out of a car and drive off to continue their screaming match with your boyfriend - in a busy parking lot ( this actually happened to me, and yes, of course I made a report. ) there were a few different scenarios legally : if I was at the store on the clock buying office supplies, obligated to report. If I was at the store after work buying groceries and it was a client I observed doing this -- obligated to report. If I was there after work buying groceries and it was my meth head cousin endangering her baby- not legally mandated to report.

Wow, that’s different than what I was taught (also in CA). I was taught that if you are a mandated reporter, you are mandated to report any abuse you are aware of (or think might be happening) even if it is friends or family. There were no time constraints.

[Mama Mia]

Wow, that’s different than what I was taught (also in CA). I was taught that if you are a mandated reporter, you are mandated to report any abuse you are aware of (or think might be happening) even if it is friends or family. There were no time constraints.

Well now I'm wondering if my trainer had it wrong :? Hopefully not, since she gave training so to literally hundreds of workers in my County for at least a decade! Yikes.

[Katie_Bug]

Well now I'm wondering if my trainer had it wrong :? Hopefully not, since she gave training so to literally hundreds of workers in my County for at least a decade! Yikes.

I was curious, so I just looked up the actual law. Your instructor was correct. I guess mine was a little over zealous. :embarrassed: Good to know though!

[IronicallyMaeve]

I'm studying psychology, and one of my professors is also a clinical psychologist. She's a mandated reporter twice over, as a professor and a mental health professional. And she's done some other work where she's a mandated reporter as well. She told my class she felt that there were very few areas of her life where she wasn't a mandated reporter. She acts as a mandated reporter 100% of the time, even if she's on vacation with her husband or whatever.

Also in CA, BTW.