Maxwells on (what some might call) a VACATION!

[fundiefan]

I think the blankness is pretty apparent in many of the pictures. It is hard to tell things like that in random pictures, but given how many the post, everyone pretty much knows their 'looks' at any given time. Even when they were holding the new baby last year, the emptiness was noticeable and I think that was about the time I started paying more attention to them. It seemed so odd to me that this baby was so desperately wanted and Melanie went through so much to get her here and the whole clan looked the same as they always did. Same expressions on their faces, same empty eyes. I would have thought under those circumstances the joy would pour off my monitor - I've seen pictures that did just that, often.

Of course, I always know that my opinion of them filters anything I see, so I could be reading into it. It's not good to know for their sake, but for the sake of what I see (and think I see) it is good to know that someone who has seen them face to face doesn't see much behind the eyes either - no spark.

They all have the same plastered smile on their face, no matter the circumstance.

[NurseNell]

I think the blankness is pretty apparent in many of the pictures.our off my monitor - I've seen pictures that did just that, often.

Of course, I always know that my opinion of them filters anything I see, so I could be reading into it. It's not good to know for their sake, but for the sake of what I see (and think I see) it is good to know that someone who has seen them face to face doesn't see much behind the eyes either - no spark.

They all have the same plastered smile on their face, no matter the circumstance.

Yes, this is what I notice too. Stepford Wives is what I think when I look at them. I feel sorry for the daughters.

Nell

[luckylibrarian]

Was it Jesse or John that clibbyjo said she sensed was just biding his time until he could break free? She said one of the boys hadn't lost his spark.

[clibbyjo]

Was it Jesse or John that clibbyjo said she sensed was just biding his time until he could break free? She said one of the boys hadn't lost his spark.

John!! He looks right at you and he smiles and you KNOW he has a spirit under there.Demgirl is right, the girls just stand there blankly and make you feel awkward.

I will volunteer to take John in and teach him the ways of the normal. (Hey, he is hot, and he can cook,fix cars,knows computers and can probably clean, thats more than I do)

[Koala]

I'm not sure where the guys found you-know-what's big enough to stand up to Daddy and get married, but the girls will not be married anytime soon. Daddy will not find anyone "right enough"...unless of course he finds someone they can't stand and makes it a question of obedience. If I was Sarah I don't know which I'd choose--staying home with Daddy Dearest or going with an icky hubby........ Sarah: Walk out the door and keep walking. Don't look back.

It was that way for a friend of mine. She had frequent "confessionals" to her mother and father, in which she confided her desire to marry and start a family of her own. As a result, her father decided to set an even longer time frame before she would be allowed to "court" (should the situation arise). I believe it was around 6 months or so.

In other words, even if someone had expressed interest in her during that 6 month time frame, she couldn't even know about it. And she was past 30.

Beyond sick and twisted.

[Guest Anonymous]

Dude. I would totally let poor Sarah come live with me. Then I would send her on dates!

Sarah if you read here, PM me. I have a spare bedroom where you could have an entire level of the house to yourself!

[NurseNell]

[

Beyond sick and twisted.

It sure is. What makes parents like this? Is it just they want control, or don't want their daughters to be sexual beings? Are there any such families who've had daughters rebel and leave? I remember about 2 years ago there was a series on various large families, not necessarily Christian fundies. There was one family where a daughter had been asked to leave because the parents didn't want her lifestyle choice to contaminate the younger children. The daughter had a biracial baby, I don't think she was married. The mother was starting to meet with her daughter in public places for lunch or coffee but she still wasn't welcome at home. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My liberal Catholic parents felt that if a child wanted to stay home after high school graduation that the parents must have done something wrong. It's normal to grow up and get out on your own. Keeping your grown children home just isn't normal and healthy. Lots of kids today do stay home longer because of the bad economy but that's different. The parents don't control them. My son has lived with me on and off but we each come and go as we please. I have only one rule, no drinking and driving. And he doesn't.

Nell

[demgirl]

Nell -- that's the Jeub family. They have a blog that we discuss fairly often. They are pretty high up there on the religious, patriarchal, fundie cray cray scale.

And yeah, John was definitely the most lively and full of personality -- he actually shook our hands when we left the church. When I bought books from Sarah, it was the most awkward thing ever. It was actually a struggle to get her to speak and make even small talk. She wasn't really rude -- she was just unbelievably quiet and passive. It's hard to put into words -- clibby might do a better job of it.

[NurseNell]

Nell -- that's the Jeub family. They have a blog that we discuss fairly often. They are pretty high up there on the religious, patriarchal, fundie cray cray scale.

Thanks, that's them. I'll go look for their blog and catch up on them. In that family it seemed like the mom was the dominant force. I only saw the show once though so what do I really know. :ugeek:

Nell

[tehgoobster]

Ugh! I feel so bad for Sarah! What she wrote definitely makes me think that she's not entirely happy about her situation. I will say this, though: IF she ever gets married, her wedding day will be like a holiday here at FJ because we all want her to be happy in life.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Poor Sarah... Whether she marries or not, I think she would be happier if she could get out more and meet some people her own age. As much as we all criticize ATI, at least they have regular get-togethers and mission trips where young single people can get to know each other. The closest Sarah gets to anything like that is selling books at homeschooling conferences, where everyone her age is already married and has kids.

Has anyone asked Steve how his children (particularly the female children) are supposed to find spouses if they're not even allowed to join a real church?

[clibbyjo]

Ugh! I feel so bad for Sarah! What she wrote definitely makes me think that she's not entirely happy about her situation. I will say this, though: IF she ever gets married, her wedding day will be like a holiday here at FJ because we all want her to be happy in life.

If Sarah actually ever gets married, it better be live streamed or I am crashing that wedding! If its live streamed(and we know it will be because they like that kind of stuff to show how they can married off adult children), get a bridesmaid dress at Goodwill because I am having a party at my house. We will watch the wedding, drink champagne and dance, unlike the bride and groom. :dance:

[tehgoobster]

If Sarah actually ever gets married, it better be live streamed or I am crashing that wedding! If its live streamed(and we know it will be because they like that kind of stuff to show how they can married off adult children), get a bridesmaid dress at Goodwill because I am having a party at my house. We will watch the wedding, drink champagne and dance, unlike the bride and groom. :dance:

And we will take shots whenever they mention death. :lol:

[Guest Anonymous]

And we will take shots whenever they mention death. :lol:

I don't think my liver wants Sarah to get married. :shock:

[fundyfunland]

Well, I'm just so glad that G-d has his/her/its priorities straight & granted a little girl her wish, instead answering useless prayers for say...starving people in Africa. ((Face meet palm))

[StarrieEyedKat]

If Sarah actually ever gets married, it better be live streamed or I am crashing that wedding! If its live streamed(and we know it will be because they like that kind of stuff to show how they can married off adult children), get a bridesmaid dress at Goodwill because I am having a party at my house. We will watch the wedding, drink champagne and dance, unlike the bride and groom. :dance:

clibbyjo, I'm only a state away and I am SO DOWN for making that trip. I smell a FJ party!

[HoneyBunny]

Re: the Daddy Obeyed God post...

First, I'm with y'all. The whole thing is just so bizarre n so many ways. Child wants something that mom and dad can easily make happen (or explain the reason why not...be a parent for God's sake, and give God a break), mom doesn't take it on herself to make this happen or even talk to Nathan about it (since Nathan had NO idea why Abby was so happy the next morning), Nathan doesn't appear to have the chutzpah (ha!) to tell dad, "Hey, count us out, I'm taking my family back to St. Elmo again), Nathan AND Steve have to figure out how this can happen, and this sweet little girl, upon getting her wish granted, says "Daddy obeyed God". What normal 3/4 year old says stuff like that????

So weirdness upon weirdness...and they're so proud of it that they BRAG about it (because, honestly, that's what their blog is: an electronic brag book about how they're so perfect) for all the world to see. Because they think that's the way others want to live too!

Those girls are doomed. ALL of them, from Teri to Bethany.

[Guest Anonymous]

I wonder if, perhaps, this was Melanie's way of taking controlling the situation, to the fullest extent possible within the cult lifestyle. She seems the most 'normal' of the clan - she bucks the uniform code slightly by wearing cardigans over the required frumper, she adds a smiley face card to the end of the chore pack to let Bethany know she's done a good job, she has the girls read story books and play with toys like the stethoscope.

The way I read it, Melanie only heard about Bethany's disappointment later on, because Nathan was carrying her in the pack when he found out. Maybe asking the family to pray about it was a passive version of making a direct request on Bethany's behalf.

Sure it is still a f*d up beyond belief way of doing things, but I like to think she has some limited means to make things happen.

I like to think that all of the children have created coping mechanisms and are biding their time. Sarah certainly spends a long time in the bus alone writing very short and simple children's books. Mary and Anna jumped at the chance to take over grocery shopping together, without Teri. Hopefully they are all silently plotting....

[Hane]

Exactly. Heck, I could even see a "well, we need to ask the entire group tomorrow over breakfast" if they were determined to act as a single group, but it would be about asking OTHER HUMANS, and learning about compromising/negotiating in the group of HUMANS.

The whole "God as Santa Claus" thing just creeps me out. Though, if you think about it, it kinda explains some of the twee prayers we see on the Maxwell site, where they're so certain that God is granting their every small desire.

"Godbaggery" indeed! I'll have to reuse that one... :D

I stole "godbaggery" from I Blame the Patriarchy.