Lori - V-Day Causes Divorce - Now With Moar Ken! Part 2

[theologygeek]

I can't believe people here actually had "the worms." When I got older, I thought it was just another one of those things that was a popular topic when I was a kid, but maybe an old wives tale because no one really knew what they were. I never looked into it when I was older because I was kind of afraid of what I would find out. lol Right now I really want to look on google images but the childhood fear is coming back. lol

[theologygeek]

OMG they really are white! I shouldn't have looked that up.

[ILoveJellybeans]

My mom once suggested I might have worms, think it was because I was eating a lot, I was so scared of seeing worms in my poo that I refused to poo for about 2 weeks. I was about 7-8 years old.

I heard you can get them from eating sugar on its own, but that's not true.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Worms are definitely creepy, but are treated easily enough with antibiotics. There's also a tincture of Wormood, Black Walnut and Cloves sold at health food stores that's supposed to keep one free of parasites and cleanse the digestive tract, if taken with water regularly.

I did read about a cure for tapeworms that was supposedly used hundreds of years ago, before the use of antibiotics was more common. You were supposed to drink mostly clear liquids for several days, all while dosing yourself with coconut oil several times a day. This would clear and smooth the intestinal tract so that the tapeworms would have nothing to attach themselves to and eventually come out on around the 4th day.

Never personally met anyone who tried that one, but it sounds reasonable as a cure if you don't have antibiotics.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Aw crap, now OkToBeTakei is gonna put the canned chicken up again. I just saw her post after I put mine up. :lol:

[polecat]

That is so bad. It's how children grow up to have food issues. The pediatrician said that food issues were not big during the Depression era because people had a different attitude. He said that if the child didn't want to eat, the parent had a "Who cares, do whatever you want, more for the rest of us" attitude. I took that same attitude. A child can't control with food if the parents act like it's no big deal. There's nothing and no one to control when the person you're trying to control doesn't care what you eat.

From the comments on that blog entry:

We battled every meal. We tried to force bites...even as a baby she wouldn't put so many different things in her mouth.

I can't even imagine force-feeding a child. Not only is it making mealtime a literal battleground but they're showing their child that while they demand her respect, they are not willing to offer her ANY respect in return -- even the most basic consideration that her body is her own. Gross.

However, she has battle 26 hours a few different times over one bite. I won by literally shoving it in her mouth, but I decided it wasn't worth the battle. Seeing her fall apart, get weak and shaky - it made us all miserable. Meal times weren't enjoyable for so long. My husband was coming home and the first thing he experienced was a food battle.

Does this literally mean the parents made her sit for 26 hours? Wow, mom, sorry your mealtimes weren't enjoyable, but they sound tortuous and abusive for her!

After reading a couple books I developed a different philosophy to it all. I provide the what (healthy and balanced options), the where (we all sit down at the table together) and the when (3 balanced meals with a afternoon healthy snack). She decides the how much or if at all.

The only positive about that whole comment: Thank goodness they stopped fighting with her, but I do wonder if they haven't set themselves and her up for a lifetime of issues around food/power/control.

I guess I have a Depression-era attitude about food. I expect the kids to sit down to meals with us, but I am not a short-order cook, so they'll eat what I cooked or wait for the next mealtime. It works out ok so far.

[kpmom]

You know, I love you all, but all this talk of worms is making me wanna

Although, not as much as Lori and Ken make me wanna

ETA: I am rethinking a pasta dish I was going to make tonight using angel hair pasta thanks to this thread.

[Ken]

I do not know how this works exactly when you move from one thread to another, but I assume I am to post here now, so I will try to answers questions from the end of the old thread as I can. Repost if you have a serious question you would like answered if I do not address it.

Let me open by saying that Lori and I have never tried to represent ourselves as perfect people of perfect Christians. We are like you on a journey and responsible to try and live according to the truth and knowledge we have. We made mistakes in the past, and we will make mistakes in the future. One of the main reasons I am here with our most ardent antagonists is to see what things we can learn and grow from. You have given me some tings to think about, discuss with Lori and we are both prayerfully considering some of your thoughtful comments.

Going back into our past and finding the pickiest of things to point fingers at, or even the eating habits or issues of our children is unkind and unfair. One thing this process has shown to me clearly is how easily it is to pick our certain things that are written, jump to some conclusions without all of the facts, read one's on bias into what we do see written, then make they point we wanted to make regardless of knowing all the facts. To some degree this is a necessary outcome of communicating in writing short paragraphs about anything. And we do it too... this point is well taken from some of you... that we should be more careful in our responses to commenters, especially when a lot of fats are left out. On the flip side if one draws no conclusions from what is written one cannot respond at all.

You all do exactly what you accuse Lori of me of doing, and it is part of the nature of responding to the written word.

Our daughters and one son got parasites along with Lori 24 years ago and 28 doctors and four years later they were finally given a definitive diagnosis. The first antibiotic cure did not eradicate the parasites, neither did the second, so round three was a cocktail of drugs that fried their colons, perhaps permanently. They all make a lower production of HCL in their stomachs, thus little protection from the bugs, but they take HCL now with every meal and much of the problems are cured, but they have to be careful what they eat.

When one is careful what one eats, food and healthy food become a much more important topic and part of ones life. That is the reason for the focus on food, and one daughter is an excellent cook. but her first love is a huge organic salad, proving that keeping your kid at the table for two hours a few times to get them to eat their veggies may be well worth it in the long run. At least it was for one daughter.

In fairness to my children, who are all wonderful, but independent people and independent thinkers, I think is unfair to plaster their names all over the Forum. If you need to talk about them lease refer to them as daughter 1 or daughter 2, unless of course your desire to protect other women, does not apply to them.

Thanks!

[Coconut Flan]

Aw crap, now OkToBeTakei is gonna put the canned chicken up again. I just saw her post after I put mine up. :lol:

Now I know who to blame!

[treehugger]

Next person to mention worms and I'm going to bring back the canned chicken.

She did it :ew:

I cannot believe the canned chicken is back

[OkToBeTakei]

Actually tend to agree with him about picking one thing for instance the feeding salad thing and running with it. That's the nature of this forum though dear Ken. The most innocuous comment can take on a life of it's own. Many an innocent comment I have made in the past on my own life has been microscopically examined and judge and judgement been passed :lol: Some get off on that kind of judge and jury by internet. It's not unlike passing out advice based on little information :think:

I would only know your children's names because YOU and your wife choose to put them out there. If you want them called daughter 1 daughter 2 or whatever I suggest you should have done that the moment you started your blog. You may think me commenting here under a pseudonym as cowardly or not transparent? No that would be because I prefer to protect my child from my opinions this way.

You can't really have it both ways I'm afraid.

Derails are just another way this forums goes. It is how levity is brought and connections are made. I suggest skim read and cherry pick the the things you are interested in answering. You don't get to dictate how threads go or how people interact with you. That's life. We have a saying in my country. Get in among it big yin.

ETA.

Why yes it is back :D You all know you wanted it really.

[Ken]

Koala asked this on the other thread and I'm not sure it ever got answered:

Ken wrote:

“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER; and YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." (Matt 19:19) Is your husband not your neighbor?

Totally off topic, but do you feel you and Lori apply this principle to Lori's parents. They seem to do a lot for her, but the pair of you continually offer them up as an example of a bad marriage, at least when Lori was growing up. Do you feel it is honoring them to constantly bring that up or air it on Lori's blog?

It is an issue we have discussed in advance with the in-laws and they have approved our talking about them. Te whole issue of being real on a personal blog is a tough one, and we have assumed, obviously wrong, that people would be fair with what we write.

We are accused of coming across as "too perfect" and have it all together, yet we are accused of things we do not do perfectly well, especially pulling things out of the way long past and throwing it me face as if you expected us to be perfect.

We live life as best we can with the knowledge we have at that time to honor Gd. We can't do any more than that. We have made mistakes, but we have no failures in that "you will know us by the fruit of our lives" which is plentiful, not the few shriveled grapes that appear. We do not try to be perfect and do not encourage that in others. Here is an example of what we have taught on submission which says that even in this area Lori is not perfect and I am not expecting her to be: (This is mainly in response to a question on the old thread about where do we say submission in our marriage is not perfect).

Submission has a negative connotation, especially in our society, but the Holy Spirit chose the word precisely because this is exactly how ALL believers are to act towards one another, following the model that Christ set for us. Jesus was completely submissive to the will of the Father, yet he never lost His equality with Him. Is that not the model for marriage? And what does God do, He takes His submissive Son and exults Him "above all things" just as we should do with our wives to "treat them as more important than we are."

You and your wife sound to me like you have a great marriage because you are loving her the way she needs and she is honoring you the way you need. Many women are not feeling that sense of love and acceptance you are giving so they fight for it in all the wrong ways. The result is that many men feel dishonored and like they can never please their gal. When that happens, it turns into a vicious cycle of negativity.

Submission is the command of the scriptures for wives, but a good husband has no problem with his wife challenging him, and rarely if ever does he demand submission. Actually we want the challenge when she feels strongly that we are wrong and most of the time we go her way. She makes most of the decisions about the house, the kids, when and where we go out, and participates in most or all of the other decisions. The leader lays down his life for his wife.

Love and submission looks exactly what you are describing in your marriage. Now what happens when your wife decide she wants to be in control, get bossy and demanding, start nagging you or just think she is right all the time and you are wrong. Then tell me if you don't want a submissive wife, and yet I know you would love her anyway, just as I loved my wife for 22 years before she discovered what it means to be submissive.

I want Lori to be her full personality, and sometimes she gets back into her old ways, which is fine for a time. Then when I feel like it is going too far I simply say with a smile, "You know you have been arguing a lot lately," and her eyes get great big and she throws out her hand to shake mine and says, "It will never happen again!" I know it will happen again, and I do not mind a little of it, but it sure is fun to know that Lori is trying to please me, just as I am trying to love her just the way she needs to be loved... including allowing Lori to be Lori, not a Stepford wife.

[Koala]

Going back into our past and finding the pickiest of things to point fingers at, or even the eating habits or issues of our children is unkind and unfair.

Your wife and both daughters have blogs. The words we are quoting are yours/theirs. If you think that is unfair or unkind you are entitled to that, but such is the life of people who put their lives out there for public consumption.

What I personally think is unfair is Lori giving out advice on how to handle weight/food issues with children, while neglecting to mention the fact that she followed her own advice and failed spectacularly. Your daughters both struggled with very serious body image issues, and yet your wife continues to make post after post about women and their weight.

In fairness to my children, who are all wonderful, but independent people and independent thinkers, I think is unfair to plaster their names all over the Forum. If you need to talk about them lease refer to them as daughter 1 or daughter 2, unless of course your desire to protect other women, does not apply to them.

Thanks!

I am sorry Ken, but you don't get to lay the ground rules here. They are adults, not children and not only has your wife chosen to use their real names on her blog, they both have blogs using their real names. Until a mod advises otherwise, I seriously doubt many will honor your request.

[Koala]

Ken, because you have directly accused me of mischaracterizing you, I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to substantiate your allegation. Here is what I posted at the end of the previous thread:

Ken wrote:

OK Koala, your chasing me out of your playground soon. I cannot compete with your cut and paste to make everything look like you want it to look. Mischarcaterizations at best, and an unwillingness to recognize that one can hold two thoughts in the brain at once and both be accurate.

Ken wrote:

Yes, Koala, you can put works on apiece of a paper well to serve your purposes,but have you ever thought of trying to serve fairness in your life, or at least fairness with me?

You know, the more I think about your assertion that you have been mischaracterized, the more irritated I get. You want fairness. Here's fairness.

You say I put words on paper? Here's your chance to tell me these are not your words.

You say you were mischaracterized, here's your chance to clarify.

Here's your chance set the record straight. If you ignore it then I will assume that these were indeed your quotes and you were not mischaracterized as you claim:

1)

Mom:

I had one that would never give in to anything, regardless of punishment, spanking did nothing but make her worse, time outs where a joke, finally I picked her up and threw her under a cold shower

Lori Alexander:

A spanking will work if it is hard enough

Mom:

Not with her, we tried hand, and although I was against it belt, wooden spoon, cane everything she would just keep going, I stopped after I thought I broke her arm...

Ken Alexander:

Listen I get the issue that we need to protect against abuse, but you know full well this was not an abusive mother.

Alright, there it is Ken. Are the words I attributed to you yours? If so, how did quoting them mischaracterize you?

2)

SSM

Repeal marital rape laws – not because men are just dying to rape women (they aren’t) but because these laws give women the mistaken impression that they have the right to refuse sex with their husbands.

Why: If we want men to have to marry in order to have access to sex – which is necessary if we are going to foster traditional sex roles and enhance family formation – they must have assurance that they will actually get sex after they marry. If a woman wants to live in a man’s house and eat of his bread, she had better be willing to serve him in this way (barring illness of course); if she refuses to give it to him, he should have the option to take what is rightfully his.

Ken Alexander:

I see a brilliant writer and advocate for submission in a Christian marriage, but you and your friends are giving Lori and me pause to reevaluate

.

Are the words I attributed to you yours? If so, how did quoting them mischaracterize you?

3)

SSM:

Consider asking your husband if he would be willing to spank you as part of foreplay.

Please don’t panic. Spanking is not a slippery slope that will lead to BDSM, disturbing fetishes or deviant sexual practices. I can promise you that from personal experience; you won’t be spanked one day and in leather restraints the next. Some people practice Christian Domestic Discipline, but that is actually not what I am recommending either. This is only to be about increasing your attraction to him by having him display dominance via consensual sexual aggression.

It is his decision if he would be willing to try this; this may be outside his comfort zone completely, and he may be feeling very mistrustful of you, but if he is willing to try it, you may not be sure of what to do. Here is one possible way to go: first, ask him to buy a wooden hair brush that has a very flat back (the curved ones tend to leave more bruises). The brush should be on your dresser.

He can sit down on the edge of the bed and tell you to bring the brush to him. Get it, and then kneel down on the floor in front of him and hand the brush to him. He can then pull you firmly but lovingly across his lap, either with lingerie on or no bottoms. It might be easier to have your legs supported on the bed, but your hands off the bed so that you are slightly off balance. He can then administer the spanking; he might want to know that he can swat fairly hard without causing bruises, but even if you do have a bruise the next day, you won’t die.

The number of strokes should be up to him, not you; he decides when the spanking is over (h/t 7man for that idea), not you. When he is done, get on your knees in front of him and say thank you to him. You should thank him because he is doing something that may be outside his comfort zone in order to help you, and you do not deserve it. He is doing this out of love for you, so show him the gratitude he so richly deserves.

Scripture to meditate upon: For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

(AFTER reading these quotes Ken Alexander said):

BUT SSM made very clear to Lori she is not an advocate of Domestic Discipline

SSM is teaching some sex training for a previous whore

Are the words I attributed to you yours? If so, how did quoting them mischaracterize you?

4)

Ken Alexander:

just because a wife is emotionally abused does not mean she should leave her man or take him to the elders, or separate.

Are the words I attributed to you yours? If so, how did quoting them mischaracterize you?

[Koala]

I would also appreciate you responding to my response to your blathering on about freedom of speech. I want you to explain to me exactly how we are not allowing Lori her freedom of speech.

Ken wrote:

Why do you and your group have to bother her/us? Why can’t you leave us alone? You are the ones bullying us and sending nasty comments, trolling. What is wrong with you that you cannot allow freedom of speech? Is this some socialist dictator country or world now? Why won’t you fight for the rights of free speech and start your own blog if you like assailing the virtues of selling out in sacrifice for your spouse? We don’t care, so why do you all care so much about aspirin and the simplify of the gospel?

Truthfully, with the education you've had I should not have to explain this to you, but here goes. Lori is posting a public blog on the internet. Public means all people can read it. Some people will agree with her and give her the ego boost she so clearly craves. Others will see her unapologetically advise a mom (who turned out to be abusive) to hit harder and decide to call her on it. She has to options:

1) Make her blog private

2) Close comments

If she does not do one of those two things then she is opening herself up to unwanted readership and unwanted comments.

Now the shock: People disagreeing with Lori are not violating her free speech. Free speech does not entitle you to back pats and an ice-cream. Someone may just pipe up and tell you you are full of shit. That's how you'll know they have chosen to exercise their free speech.

You will know Lori's right to free speech has been violated when:

1) The gov. shuts down her blog

2) She is arrested for posting her opinions on her blog.

Until then I am going to exercise my free speech to tell you that I have no idea how you have made it in this world 55 years without knowing this.

[Koala]

We are accused of coming across as "too perfect" and have it all together, yet we are accused of things we do not do perfectly well, especially pulling things out of the way long past and throwing it me face as if you expected us to be perfect.

Can you quote someone here asserting that your family is too perfect or has it all together? I recall you referring to yourself in that way, but I don't think I've seen anyone here concur. Maybe you are confused with your own words? Here, maybe this will help you remember:

Ken wrote:

If you think the Alexanders or me, we sound too perfect... you are correct.

You seem very upset that people are quoting what your family has put on the internet, and that leads me to think you don't understand how the internet works. When you set yourself up as a mentor or teacher, people are going to put you under a magnifying glass. You don't get to cry fowl when they use your own words to show you for what you are or to point out that your are contradicting yourself.

[formergothardite]

Christian Risqué? Never heard of that. :?

I'm going to copy this over here to see how many times Ken can ignore it. :lol:

Still ignoring one of the big issue with Lori, though, Ken. I'm not sure if you are doing this intentionally or what. But here is what I am talking about. Will doing it in bullet form help you grasp what I'm saying?(not actually being snarky here, if you are skimming instead of reading the posts this might help. You seem to display a pattern of grasping onto a word or two from a post and focusing on that.)

~Lori is giving marriage advice over the internet without knowing the full story.(Example: the woman locked out of her house. Lori does not know if this is an escalating pattern of abuse, a one time incident, worse than the writer made it seem because abused women will do that when discussing problems. She doesn't know, yet gave advice to submit more not knowing if that would be helpful or dangerous. Also, the time she gave out advise to the woman about spanking without knowing that she had been spanking hard enough to worry about breaking bones.)

~Lori is giving marriage advice over the internet starting with a negative bias about women(Example: post with the woman locked out of the house. Lori automatically blamed the woman for not being submissive enough or respectful to her husband. She has no way of knowing if this is true, she just has a negative bias against women.)

~Lori assumes things about the situation when giving advice.(Example: back to the woman locked out of the post. She assumed that the woman started getting disrespectful and unsubmissive with out knowing if any of that is true.)

*So we have a woman giving advice based on not knowing the whole story, a negative bias, and assumptions. Please explain to me how that is a wise idea. Especially since you have accused us of making assumptions about things on your blog because we have a negative bias. If it is bad for us, when we aren't even giving advice, how much worse is it for Lori who is setting herself up as a mentor?

~Lori also promoted a rape advocate on her blog. Either she doesn't think rape is really that bad, which means she isn't qualified to mentor young married women, or she lacks the discernment to notice the very obvious rape advocacy on the blog, which also means she isn't qualified to mentor young married women. Especially on the internet where she will need to be able to try and discern if the person she is mentoring is abused.

Imagine this in The Count's voice: "One time of being ignored!"

And no, Ken, the vague, "you have given us some things to think about" isn't responding. It is a classic way to pretend to pretend to respond without having to actually respond. Responding will be taking each point and addressing it. If you don't agree explain why.

You all do exactly what you accuse Lori of me of doing, and it is part of the nature of responding to the written word.

Last time I checked we haven't set ourselves up as wise mentors delivering God's advice.

[docmom]

If OK can do it, so can I. He's a hookworm.

[formergothardite]

Think I'm going to bring back my Weeping Angel.

[Koala]

I want to revise one of my previous statements. After some thought, I will (although I feel no moral obligation to) refer to your adult daughters as Daughter 1 and Daughter 2. I am doing this for one reason:

As a parent I feel that it's possible you are seeing the error in putting their names out there, and though they have also put their names out there, they have done nothing personally to warrant being named on a snark forum. I can't speak for the rest of the members and if they don't concede to this then I certainly wouldn't think any less of them. As a mother though, I can hear that you want to protect your kids, and though I feel you have failed them spectacularly in many ways, I won't get in the way of you trying to do right by them now.

[theologygeek]

Going back into our past and finding the pickiest of things to point fingers at, or even the eating habits or issues of our children is unkind and unfair.

Pickiest things? Your wife's "ministry" includes child rearing advice and your daughter was borderline anorexic. That should have humbled you and your wife enough to keep your mouths shut regarding how to raise children.

When one is careful what one eats, food and healthy food become a much more important topic and part of ones life. That is the reason for the focus on food, and one daughter is an excellent cook. but her first love is a huge organic salad, proving that keeping your kid at the table for two hours a few times to get them to eat their veggies may be well worth it in the long run. At least it was for one daughter.

You're not getting it. Lori went all Joan Crawford on one of her children to get her to eat and she has a daughter with food issues so bad that she almost ended up with anorexia. That is not a little oops, Ken. That is big and very bad. People have died from anorexia. You and your wife are not taking fault for that. My kids are grown. They can eat half this board under the table. When I say they can eat, I mean they can eat. If I told you what one of my kids does for a living and where she does it, you would be embarrassed at what you wrote above. Latraviata knows because I told her. Suffice to say, my daughter is an excellent cook and she has a love for food. I'm Italian Ken. We have a romance with food to begin with.

In fairness to my children, who are all wonderful, but independent people and independent thinkers, I think is unfair to plaster their names all over the Forum. If you need to talk about them lease refer to them as daughter 1 or daughter 2, unless of course your desire to protect other women, does not apply to them.

Take that up with your wife and children. They have their first and last names plastered on the internet, along with their personal business. It's like running naked through Times Square and asking for privacy while doing it.

[Ken]

Your wife and both daughters have blogs. The words we are quoting are yours/theirs. If you think that is unfair or unkind you are entitled to that, but such is the life of people who put their lives out there for public consumption.

What I personally think is unfair is Lori giving out advice on how to handle weight/food issues with children, while neglecting to mention the fact that she followed her own advice and failed spectacularly. Your daughters both struggled with very serious body image issues, and yet your wife continues to make post after post about women and their weight.

I am sorry Ken, but you don't get to lay the ground rules here. They are adults, not children and not only has your wife chosen to use their real names on her blog, they both have blogs using their real names. Until a mod advises otherwise, I seriously doubt many will honor your request.

I am not trying to lay down any rules when appeal to one's fairness and decency. You will decide you on life and writings.

I will point out that yes, anyone who blogs puts their life out there, but if they are victimized are we to blame them or the one's doing the victimizing? Kind of like blaming the submissive wife who is getting controlled and dominated by her unloving husband because she put herself in that spot. Yes, she married the jerk, but he is one victimizing her, and she is not to blame. Sorry if you think this is a poor analogy, and it certainly is at two different levels, but just because someone blogs doers not make them fair game for all types of messages and words, unless you don't believe that human responsibility belongs even to those hiding behind their fake monikers.

I do not wish to downplay my daughter's views of food and body issues, but they have lots of company on these issues. Can you tell me that a majority of young women do not at some point struggle with these issues and how about 90% of all ballerina's? Now imagine growing up in a house with a professional ballerina. Alyssa and I had regular ice cream together many nights and both daughters talked to me about their feelings and issues and we worked though them in a loving and caring way. But I see little difference with my daughters than I see in other families when it comes to food with one big exception. Those who ate whatever whenever either had the metabolism to do so, or they got heavy. We taught our kids that we try to stay within 5-8 pounds of a normal weight, and when we reach that point we cut back the calories to get back in shape. We rarely said anything directly to our children about weight, but indirectly they would know their parents philosophy on the subject. Were we no not to live our lives in front of them?

Lastly, our goals were always looking to the fruit of self discipline in the future. To say someone had a struggle but is now a better person for it and not struggling, or at least not much... isn't that a success story? You are unfair when you reach into the past, find an issue and blame for it when the results turn out great. And no, you do not get to dictate what Lori writes on her blog. You can make suggestions, but she gets to do what she feels is right, or you and me, we would be controlling and dominant, exactly what we both do not believe in.

[Ken]

Can you quote someone here asserting that your family is too perfect or has it all together? I recall you referring to yourself in that way, but I don't think I've seen anyone here concur. Maybe you are confused with your own words? Here, maybe this will help you remember:

You seem very upset that people are quoting what your family has put on the internet, and that leads me to think you don't understand how the internet works. When you set yourself up as a mentor or teacher, people are going to put you under a magnifying glass. You don't get to cry fowl when they use your own words to show you for what you are or to point out that your are contradicting yourself.

So now yo are setting the rules for the Internet and how it is supposed to be? Or you are just sliding right along into the gutter with others and that is OK because why? Others do it too. Well there are many things I try not to do just because the crowd is doing it when they are unfair, unkind and mischaracterizations.

[theologygeek]

Why do you and your group have to bother her/us? Why can’t you leave us alone? You are the ones bullying us and sending nasty comments, trolling. What is wrong with you that you cannot allow freedom of speech?

Close the blog. If something is on the internet, it risks getting talked about. We get free speech too. Blogger allows you have a private blog if you only want certain people to read what you write. Put a lock on your door and close the shades if you want to be left alone. There is a pattern here of you trying to turn the blame around when the faults so far have been with you and your wife.

[Ken]

I want to revise one of my previous statements. After some thought, I will (although I feel no moral obligation to) refer to your adult daughters as Daughter 1 and Daughter 2. I am doing this for one reason:

As a parent I feel that it's possible you are seeing the error in putting their names out there, and though they have also put their names out there, they have done nothing personally to warrant being named on a snark forum. I can't speak for the rest of the members and if they don't concede to this then I certainly wouldn't think any less of them. As a mother though, I can hear that you want to protect your kids, and though I feel you have failed them spectacularly in many ways, I won't get in the way of you trying to do right by them now.

Thank you. It is not easy, because Lori started out just wanting a fun hobby and a way of sharing her journey. She has enjoyed the family on her blog and has no desire to hurt or harm anyone. I am a supportive husband and do see the ministry she has which is powerful. I would not be here on this Forum if I did not feel that the best way to continue to grow in life as a person, professional and spiritually, is to speak to your critics. It is not easy hearing other people's perceptions and thoughts, and I am not about to give up my fundamental beliefs in the power of God's Word and what it teaches, but I hate the idea that what we teach and say comes across as unloving or "darn right Christians": the Bible told me so. I have worked hard in my professional life as a consultant to overcome the perception as "darn right" but I have not yet figured out how to do this on the spiritual side of things. I am making baby steps in this area of my life, but this is perhaps my next major area of necessary change, for me. I cannot speak for Lori, but things do tend to rub off in a close marriage.