Jessa Duggar's Courtship - Part 3

[pega127]

had I not discovered his facebook or his instagram and just relied on his persona on 19 kids and counting - you would never now he is turning into a brat.

i re watched the episode from the three date dinner party and then read his facebook and instagram posts and the poor boy is two different people - and he seems not to care ... typical of a 19 year old boy

I felt he was always a brat. He gave off a "I'm so awesome and I have this gorgeous Duggar daughter" vibe from the get-go. Shame on Jessa.

[nst]

re watching the episode you do see that on the bus when they were driving to the Bates wedding....when JB asked him if he was lovesick and what he prayed for -

but she has a similar smug smile or is that just me who thinks that

[It'sFunToRun]

I wouldn't reccomend spending money on movies for Ben Seesmug. He has enough money to buy it if he wants it, and if his parents (even though he's an adult, dammit) will let him watch it, they'd let him rent it. If his parents won't let him watch it or if he himself decides it's not holy enough for him, he'd probably throw that heathen garbage away rather than donate it where it could dirty the minds of the ignorant masses.

[hollywood]

It annoys me so much.. but Jessa and Ben are both smug and made for each other.

It kills me when you see how Ben is, but then you see Derick and you can just see his face light up and the love in his eyes like he would do whatever Jill says..

but then you have Ben who looks like he can't wait for the honeymoon, like in the episode where Jessa cooked for him and he was all "I love watching you cook, Jessa"

[Georgiana]

It annoys me so much.. but Jessa and Ben are both smug and made for each other.

It kills me when you see how Ben is, but then you see Derick and you can just see his face light up and the love in his eyes like he would do whatever Jill says..

but then you have Ben who looks like he can't wait for the honeymoon, like in the episode where Jessa cooked for him and he was all "I love watching you cook, Jessa"

I rarely get creeped out through the TV....but that was creepy as hell.

[pega127]

I rarely get creeped out through the TV....but that was creepy as hell.

Yes....ick.

[Tangy Bee]

I rarely get creeped out through the TV....but that was creepy as hell.

Nope I don't think it's creepy. In their world this is the only way he can get "fresh" with. Think about it. They choose not to hold hands and hugging is a brief side hug. They can only show desire with what they say or how they look at each other. Ben is just trying to find a clever way to be lustful without sounding lustful. Just my opinion.

[HarryPotterFan]

They just need to bang already. :nanner-sex:

[nst]

They just need to bang already. :nanner-sex:

omg i so agree - then all of this would be moot - because he obviously needs a release

:D

[It'sFunToRun]

I'm kinda afraid thatonce they have sex, he'll lose interest in her and start treating her poorly. But instead of leaving her brokenhearted until the next guy comes around, she'll be stuck with him forever because that's what marriage is.

Yes Jim Bob, it is heartbreaking for a girl to be dumped after sleeping with a guy, but it's temporary. A bad marriage is heartbreaking too and the repercussions are much worse.

[lascuba]

I'm kinda afraid thatonce they have sex, he'll lose interest in her and start treating her poorly. But instead of leaving her brokenhearted until the next guy comes around, she'll be stuck with him forever because that's what marriage is.

Yes Jim Bob, it is heartbreaking for a girl to be dumped after sleeping with a guy, but it's temporary. A bad marriage is heartbreaking too and the repercussions are much worse.

He's always struck me as that type. Especially if sex is bad at first--he won't have the patience or understanding to work at it, it'll be her fault for not enjoying it, and his adoring fanboyism will die a quick death.

[Sweet Fellowship]

I'm concerned for Jessa. I really think she needs to give Benny boy the chop. To me he's not really coming across as serious about this courtship and perhaps eventual marriage. It really does seem like fanboyism on Ben's part and once they're wedded and bedded the novelty will wear off for him.

[hollywood]

I get that feeling too.. like he will go and have a woman on the side and say it is "his right as the man" to do that, or something..

With 19 kids getting married, there are odds there someone will end in divorce/a hidden affair.

[N The Prayer Closet]

I get that feeling too.. like he will go and have a woman on the side and say it is "his right as the man" to do that, or something..

With 19 kids getting married, there are odds there someone will end in divorce/a hidden affair.

I've thought this too! I'm in my 30's and have seen many couples our age crash and burn in their marriages. Ben is a lot like some of the smug, "she's lucky to have me" guys I've known. Jessa's fame and good looks aren't going to last forever and he still needs a good 5-7 years of growing up before he's even close to ready for marriage.

[Running1985]

It's a good thing Jessa hasn't given any pieces of her heart away...

[RosyDaisy]

My fiancee frequently tells me he likes watching me cook. Then again, I tell him I love the way he looks in his EMT uniform. I don't see the problem. Jessa is his girlfriend, I would find it strange if he didn't say something like that.

[MiddleAgedLady]

New here. If this courtship doesn't work, how does Jessa get out of it? Do you think Jim Bob thinks it was a mistake?

[Toothfairy]

New here. If this courtship doesn't work, how does Jessa get out of it? Do you think Jim Bob thinks it was a mistake?

If it doesn't work out they will say God didn't plan for it to work out. But I don't see that happening. The courtships brought ratings. A broken courtship would mean courting doesn't make any difference. Relationships can still fail. The Duggars have to protect their image. Jim bob would probably ask her to pretend to like him and keep up appearances. Because in fundie land broken courtships mean your used.

[hollywood]

ugh...."not giving any pieces of your heart away"

If it doesn't work out, are you telling me that all those 'I love you Jessa/Ben's won't cause heartbreak??

It is exactly the same as dating, just with sooner marriage and no physical contact!!

:angry-banghead:

[Running1985]

It's WORSE than dating I think. When I was her age yes I thought about marriage and wondered if he was "the one" but when it didn't work out I was able to see we just didn't work. I had break ups before and knew my life wasn't over. I'm sure Jessa would take it much worse than a typical 21 year old... Even if they never frontal hugged.

[Running1985]

Re: Jessa Duggar's Courtship - Part 3

Sat Jul 26, 2014 4:31 am

My fiancee frequently tells me he likes watching me cook. Then again, I tell him I love the way he looks in his EMT uniform. I don't see the problem. Jessa is his girlfriend, I would find it strange if he didn't say something like that.

I think it was also the WAY he said it. It was like a psycho out of a horror flick before you know he is psycho.

[MiddleAgedLady]

Thanks for the response. So what is the hold up? Why aren't they getting married right away? Is it because Ben doesn't have a stable job?

[Rescinded and Mended]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this really is a ridiculous amount of trouble to go through just to have legitimate sex.

It's a pity someone won't simply hand these two some birth control and give them some alone time together so that they get their respective kinks out of their system and move on to better, more fulfilling relationships. I honestly think that, outside of the TLC money, Ben won't be happy being under Jim Bob's umbrella of authority. I think that crap is gonna get old really fast when a couple of years go by and he gets tired of being ordered around by his domineering father-in-law and having to deal with a wife who isn't particularly interested in him outside of what they share in bed together.

And Jessa? Same thing. I think she wants to nail him and get out of her house, but beyond that, I think they're two very different people and that they don't have much in common. She'll probably tire of Ben quickly and want out of the relationship.

I honestly feel sorry for both of them and the tight constraints surrounding their lives.

[JellyHope]

It's WORSE than dating I think. When I was her age yes I thought about marriage and wondered if he was "the one" but when it didn't work out I was able to see we just didn't work. I had break ups before and knew my life wasn't over. I'm sure Jessa would take it much worse than a typical 21 year old... Even if they never frontal hugged.

And you also probably learned a lot from those relationships & subsequent break ups!

[EmeraldPickle]

Personally I think being so emotionally involved with someone is more damaging if it doesn't work out than being physically involved and it not working out. They are placing such a focus on getting to know your partner mentally/emotionally inside and out and the more time you spend with someone the more attached you become. I think this rings true for any relationship. Every time you choose to spend time with another human being you are becoming emotionally invested in that person and it only becomes stronger the more time you spend with that person. So in a way just by courting these men they are giving away pieces of themselves. I think it was Jessa said anyone can go out and have sex, and I 100 percent agree with her on that one. We live in a society where sex is viewed casually and non-committal and a lot of people don't have a problem with a quick hook up and going on their merry way afterward. It's when you take the time to get to know someone that it becomes dangerous. You become involved. Your HEART becomes involved. The Duggars and a lot of other fundies think as long as you don't touch and have sex before exchanging vows that you are safe that you are guarding your heart from pain and baggage. They need to wake up and realize that their children are putting their hearts on the line more-so than normal people. It hurts every time you invest in someone and it doesn't work, and these people aren't properly prepared to deal with it.