Lori Alexander: You Don't Need No Stinkin' Sex Manual

[GeoBQn]

Lori says that books on sex never did much for her, so they are obviously not useful for anybody. The only three things you need to know are:

1. Give in to your husband's frequent demands for sex.

2. Find out what pleases him.

3. Coconut oil is an awesome lubricant.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/11/do-you-need-sex-manual-to-have-good-sex.html

[ari_belle]

Lori says that books on sex never did much for her, so they are obviously not useful for anybody. The only three things you need to know are:

1. Give in to your husband's frequent demands for sex.

2. Find out what pleases him.

3. Coconut oil is an awesome lubricant.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/11/do-you-need-sex-manual-to-have-good-sex.html

Thanks, Lori. I really wanted to know what you use to lubricate your vag when you please your headship.

[snuggles911]

But what if sex manuals are helpful to husbands who want to please their wives, Lori?

[curlytoes79]

But what if sex manuals are helpful to husbands who want to please their wives, Lori?

What?? That's 'unsaved harlot' talk!

[doggie]

Coconut oil the heavenly smell of coconuts while doing sweet fellowship. things get vigorous does it smell like toasted coconut?

[Minerva]

Lori's sex life obviously consists of lying on her back and thinking of England. Of course she doesn't need a book, the only thing she has to think about is how to get around the fact that Ken (a.k.a. the 10 minute wonder) doesn't make her self-lubricate in the least bit.

Those of us who choose not to sleep with selfish douchebags actually get to consider how to make our sex lives interesting.

(On that note, if God didn't want us vagina-havers to enjoy sex, why would he make our lubrication so dependent on arousal?)

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Someone should tell her the duggars and bates disagree. She idolizes them so she might backtrack

[quincygal]

ok, did anyone else flip to her page & notice how VERY phallic the candle seems in light of the post?

[JaChelle Sugar]

Lori like every good wife closes her eyes and think's of Brad Pitt. Because wives must LOOK like their enjoying it.

[Hane]

Oh, FFS. Back in the Pleistocene, when being an Italian Catholic Virgin Bride was The Law, I confided in my mother, after I got engaged, exactly how inexperienced I was. (She was honest-to-God SHOCKED.) She gave me a marriage manual and STRONGLY advised me to get to second or third base before the wedding.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Ken is probably terrible at sex, so Lori is jealous of other women who actually get satisfied, instead of the usual no foreplay, 5 second sex that ends in Ken falling asleep immediately after.

[doggie]

(On that note, if God didn't want us vagina-havers to enjoy sex, why would he make our lubrication so dependent on arousal?)

more like why did he make a clitoris a organ who's only function is sexual pleasure. The lube thing could be construed as more pleasure for the man.

[chissprincess]

I'm having a hard time convincing myself that using coconut oil as sexual lubricant would be a good idea...I mean, I know it's good (or at least acceptable) for lots of things and Google is telling me it's not a bad choice as lube but the idea still freaks me out.

[argypargy]

Lori's sex life obviously consists of lying on her back and thinking of England. Of course she doesn't need a book, the only thing she has to think about is how to get around the fact that Ken (a.k.a. the 10 minute wonder) doesn't make her self-lubricate in the least bit.

Those of us who choose not to sleep with selfish douchebags actually get to consider how to make our sex lives interesting.

(On that note, if God didn't want us vagina-havers to enjoy sex, why would he make our lubrication so dependent on arousal?)

This.

Hey Lori, I usually don't need any lube. You know why? My husband actually gives two shits about me and my pleasure. Shocking, I know.

[SPHASH]

I don't think Lori has been laid in a long time. That's why she keeps talking about sex.

[docmom]

I don't think Lori has been laid in a long time. That's why she keeps talking about sex.

I'm pretty sure she gets laid a lot by Ken the man. What I suspect is that she hasn't had satisfying sex in a very long time.

[MissA]

I'm having a hard time convincing myself that using coconut oil as sexual lubricant would be a good idea...I mean, I know it's good (or at least acceptable) for lots of things and Google is telling me it's not a bad choice as lube but the idea still freaks me out.

I swear to the FSM that Dan Savage just recently posted about using coconut oil as lube... because he was trying to help out some gay dudes who felt squeamish about using a commercial product "designed to duplicate a woman's natural lubricant." :whistle: But I just went looking through his recent posts and I can't find it so perhaps I've gone mad.

I also feel like coconut oil must have just hired a new marketing team in the last 5-ish years because it seems like it's being shilled for just about everything short of curing cancer. (Googles) Wait, no, there it is. Cures cancer in combination with the ketogenic diet. Sigh. Personally I've found it lovely for massages but it really made my face break out so I'd be cautious about using it as a lube also.

[chissprincess]

I swear to the FSM that Dan Savage just recently posted about using coconut oil as lube... because he was trying to help out some gay dudes who felt squeamish about using a commercial product "designed to duplicate a woman's natural lubricant." :whistle: But I just went looking through his recent posts and I can't find it so perhaps I've gone mad.

I also feel like coconut oil must have just hired a new marketing team in the last 5-ish years because it seems like it's being shilled for just about everything short of curing cancer. (Googles) Wait, no, there it is. Cures cancer in combination with the ketogenic diet. Sigh. Personally I've found it lovely for massages but it really made my face break out so I'd be cautious about using it as a lube also.

I was thinking about the possibility of yeast infections myself (which wouldn't really be an issue for the gay guys so maybe it's a great idea for them...). But yeah, breakouts or allergic reactions are also definite potential problems. Not something I would want to risk during sex.

[latraviata]

Lori says that books on sex never did much for her, so they are obviously not useful for anybody. The only three things you need to know are:

1. Give in to your husband's frequent demands for sex.

2. Find out what pleases him.

3. Coconut oil is an awesome lubricant.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/11/do-you-need-sex-manual-to-have-good-sex.html

For Zsu, butter does the trick.

[DarkAnts]

I'm having a hard time convincing myself that using coconut oil as sexual lubricant would be a good idea...I mean, I know it's good (or at least acceptable) for lots of things and Google is telling me it's not a bad choice as lube but the idea still freaks me out.

Some people prefer coconut oil because it can be purchased discreetly from the grocery store. It goes back to the shame culture. Shame on everyone who likes to have sex and parade the fact in public.

[salex]

This.

Hey Lori, I usually don't need any lube. You know why? My husband actually gives two shits about me and my pleasure. Shocking, I know.

Without standing up for Lori, I am going to say that perimenopause resulted with me needing lube, no matter how much attention my husband paid or how aroused I felt. Aging can be a treacherous bitch. I ran across a book back then (didn't own it or read the whole thing) that said "Nature is cruel--Often, men are becoming less "firm" as women are becoming less lubricated, which can be a sex killer." I bought my first bottle of astroglide the next day and have lived happily ever after ever since. :highfive:

[bucherwurm]

Thanks for the advice, Lori. I'm now sad I didn't have it when I first got married. We could barely figure things out, but it would have been so much better if I had read your precious words of wisdom. Thanks for being such a blessing to other Godly newly weds out there!

:lol:

[singsingsing]

Some people prefer coconut oil because it can be purchased discreetly from the grocery store. It goes back to the shame culture. Shame on everyone who likes to have sex and parade the fact in public.

Sad but true. I came around the corner at the grocery store once and this couple who had been looking at the condoms saw me and immediately stepped back to the other side of the aisle, looked at the floor, and I think were trying to sink down into it. Like now I knew their shameful secret, that they were having sex and using protection... horrifying!

[ShadowyOne]

I was thinking about the possibility of yeast infections myself (which wouldn't really be an issue for the gay guys so maybe it's a great idea for them...). But yeah, breakouts or allergic reactions are also definite potential problems. Not something I would want to risk during sex.

Regarding both of the bolded comments, my baby recently had thrush (a yeast infection in mouth and on bottom) when she was 1-2 months old, and I was Googling around (and yeah, some of the places that I was looking were cloth-diapering advice and breastfeeding advice sites, so a bit crunchy-granola), and looking for some relief for her, and I found coconut oil touted as an anti-fungal agent that could be used to cure the yeast-infection diaper rash. I actually picked some up at the store, and ended up leaving it unopened and went with the Nystatin prescription from the pediatrician, instead.

*eta: woo-hoo, I'm a vigorous leghumper!

[chissprincess]

Sad but true. I came around the corner at the grocery store once and this couple who had been looking at the condoms saw me and immediately stepped back to the other side of the aisle, looked at the floor, and I think were trying to sink down into it. Like now I knew their shameful secret, that they were having sex and using protection... horrifying!

I can understand that. I remember the first couple of times I bought stuff like that, as I was growing out of my Catholic upbringing. I was shopping on Amazon.com, and it's not like Amazon boxes are transparent or anything, but I was still so terrified that somehow SOMEONE I knew would find out what I had done. It's really hard to get over the social stigma, and I would argue that my upbringing wasn't nearly as stigma-filled as that of a lot of people.

Also, about the whole coconut oil being/having an anti-fungal agent, that's interesting. I guess it's not such a bad choice then, as long as nobody is allergic to it (and one doesn't mind coconut-scented sexy times).