Lori Alexander's selling submission, but who would buy????

[Koala]

I love Lori's attempts to sell us all on the joys of submission today:

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/10/jim-bob-is-frugal.html

Jim Bob and Michelle Dugger just celebrated their 29th wedding anniversary. Jim Bob planned the whole celebration without her knowledge. He wanted it to be a surprise. First he took her to a small type of art studio that does glass blowing. Then he took her out to dinner for beans and cornbread. They spent the night in a rather cheap hotel. Finally, he took her in a hot air balloon even though her greatest fear is heights. Would this be your dream anniversary celebration?

It sure wouldn't be mine! Jim Bob's oldest son celebrated his fifth year anniversary with his wife and took her out to a fancy restaurant for New York strips. Going out to a fancy dinner would be more along the lines of what I would want to do.

Did we hear one word of complaint from Michelle? No, not one. She was always kissing him and telling him how much she loved him. She was appreciative and acted excited. Now, I have no idea how she really felt about all the surprises but from her body language and words, you got the idea she loved every moment.

So Jim Bob plans a surprise "for Michelle", and the surprise is beans, cornbread, a cheap hotel, and one of her "worst fears"? Awesome. Makes me totally want to buy into submission....except not. Because we kind of plan our anniversaries together and then both of us enjoy it.

She allows Jim Bob to lead even if he is leading her somewhere she really doesn't want to go. He recently wanted to start a farm. When he told her, she simply said, "Well, let's pray about it." They visited a farm and it made him realize he may not want to start a farm. It would be too much work.

Some (me for instance) might say that this "following" is a most undesirable trait in a person, and ponder what kind of man would want such a wife.

Michelle is a great role model for women.

If you admire one who pops out babies like she's trying to collect all of the toys from a particularly interesting set of Happy Meal toys and the casts them off to the side once she has them.

He is the leader of the family. He definitely listens to her and respects her opinions, but he is the leader.

Respects and listens to her opinions? Tell me again about how Michelle (who is terrified of heights) found herself in a hot air balloon with nothing but beans and a cheap hotel to come down to.

If you are going to watch any reality show, this is the one to watch. The verse they use to raise their children is to love God and love others. What a wonderful nation we would have if all families like by this verse.

Because life should be based on Hallmark and reality tv. Deep thoughts Lori, deep thoughts.... :roll:

[cindyluvs24]

So JB was up in a balloon with a nervous wife who just ate beans. Fabulous.

[AnywhereButHere]

So JB was up in a balloon with a nervous wife who just ate beans. Fabulous.

But that’s what the Gas-Ex was for! He’s so considerate, isn’t he. :roll: :)

Anyone think this is a passive aggressive way for Lori to “suggest†anniversary plans to Ken, and you know it’s going to backfire on her, since he is going to aggressively plan something she doesn’t like just to see her submit to him.

[Koala]

The crazy (read stupid) thing is that Lori is blathering on about how frugal Jim Bob is, yet she's talking about hot air balloon rides, blown glass classes, and hotels.

There are a couple of ironies here.

The first: I'm sure he could have easily come up with some much cheaper ideas that she would have actually enjoyed, but instead he picked something she hated, a mundane dinner, and a cheap hotel. Lord only knows how much it all cost. My husband and I usually grab Chinese take away and watch a movie together. If we buy a gift we pick something big that we both want or each pick our own little gift. When our kids were little we would take turns sleeping late or taking naps. Sleep was a highly valued gift. :lol: Easy, cheap, and both of us were happy.

The second: Doesn't TLC pay for all of the shit they film? So wouldn't they have been the ones funding the cheap hotel, beans, and hot air balloon? And if so, how does that make Jim Bob frugal? It just makes him an ass for planning a sucky anniversary for Queen Uterus.

Why I expect Lori to put any of that together I don't know :angry-banghead:

[bean]

How exactly is Jim Bob's date more frugal than Josh's? A fancy steak dinner might cost a couple hundred bucks. I just looked up hot air ballon rides in my area and it is $745 for a couple to go on a private ride. So, add a glass bowling place, dinner, AND even a cheap hotel stay and it's way more than a nice dinner!

p.s. Speaking of glass bowling, does anybody else read the WP advice columnist Carolyn Hax? She has a weekly chat and the euphemism with the chatters for "asshole" is "glass bowl," i.e. "That guy needs to stop being such a glass bowl." Seems fitting here.

[sparkles]

How charming. It's one thing to give a gift where you put your OWN likes and needs second because you want to please the recipient; that's a selfless gesture. It's another thing to give a give a gift where you totally discount the likes and needs of the recipient in favor of what YOU want; that's a selfISH gesture.

I almost feel like this is some kind of sadistic game. Let's push and push and push and see how long it takes before the woman breaks under the strain of constantly having to deny her emotions and desires, all in the name of keeping submissively sweet. And, of course, when she does break, it will be because of HER faults and weaknesses, not because she's being forced into a life that's cruel and unrealistic.

WTF is wrong with these people?

[Swamptribe]

Mr. Tribe even commented "Why the hell is he taking her up in a balloon if he knows she's afraid of heights". And, every time they kiss, she seems to be pulling away form him. It's as if Jimbob is trying to show everyone "see, this is mine, I can do what I want with it'.

[fun2beme]

I didn't think the celebration was too bad; not my taste but as long as she was happy (though I guess we'll never know about that). But then I got to the hot air balloon part. As someone who is also afraid of heights, that's just downright mean-spirited. :wtf:

[2xx1xy1JD]

Does Lori not understand that reality TV is not actual reality?

I'm willing to bet that the hot air balloon idea was meant to inject some excitement into the episode, because 2 couples going out for steak is pretty boring to watch. "Let's put scared-of-heights wife into hot air balloom and watch her freak out" is what viewers of reality TV want to see.

Also, I don't watch that much of the Duggars, but did happen to catch the farm episode. I thought it was hilarious. First of all - Lori calls Michelle's reaction submission? I read it loud and clear as "JB, are you nuts? Maybe you should think about it, and actually get some idea of what this involves." Does Lori call it submission just because she didn't immediately started yelling and freaking out? Anyway, I thought the rest of the episode was just a string of FJ punch lines - the farmer making the comment about the flip flops, Jinger doing some great eye rolls, JB sticking his arm in the cow up to his elbow and then having an awkward sex talk with the boys saying "this is where babies come from." Really, JB? You got your kids from a cow's butt?

[curlytoes79]

I almost feel like this is some kind of sadistic game. Let's push and push and push and see how long it takes before the woman breaks under the strain of constantly having to deny her emotions and desires, all in the name of keeping submissively sweet. And, of course, when she does break, it will be because of HER faults and weaknesses, not because she's being forced into a life that's cruel and unrealistic.

As Marge Simpson once said to Lisa: "It doesn’t matter how you feel inside. It’s what shows up on the surface that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down, past your knees, until you’re almost walking on them. And then happiness will follow!â€

[Hisey]

I want to agree with an earlier commenter. I have noticed for years that when it's time to kiss, Michelle seems to pull away from Jim Bob. There's one second where she seems to be saying "Oh, I have to do this again. Oh. . .Kay. . . "

[lilwriter85]

Does Lori not understand that reality TV is not actual reality?

I'm willing to bet that the hot air balloon idea was meant to inject some excitement into the episode, because 2 couples going out for steak is pretty boring to watch. "Let's put scared-of-heights wife into hot air balloom and watch her freak out" is what viewers of reality TV want to see.

Also, I don't watch that much of the Duggars, but did happen to catch the farm episode. I thought it was hilarious. First of all - Lori calls Michelle's reaction submission? I read it loud and clear as "JB, are you nuts? Maybe you should think about it, and actually get some idea of what this involves." Does Lori call it submission just because she didn't immediately started yelling and freaking out? Anyway, I thought the rest of the episode was just a string of FJ punch lines - the farmer making the comment about the flip flops, Jinger doing some great eye rolls, JB sticking his arm in the cow up to his elbow and then having an awkward sex talk with the boys saying "this is where babies come from." Really, JB? You got your kids from a cow's butt?

I think Lori is like the fans on the 19kac FB page. They tend to believe that everything on the show is real. I agree with you on the hot air balloon idea. I doubt Boob would think of it on his own or would be willing to pay for it. I believe TLC does pay for some or most of the things the Duggars do, but they still like portraying the always frugal Duggars. I remember being annoyed with Boob in that NYC episode where he bitched about paying for ice cream and subway tickets.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I want to agree with an earlier commenter. I have noticed for years that when it's time to kiss, Michelle seems to pull away from Jim Bob. There's one second where she seems to be saying "Oh, I have to do this again. Oh. . .Kay. . . "

Apparently he has a problem with really bad breath. I am surprised she doesnt vomit.

[GeoBQn]

I just noticed that Lori added a link to the side of her blog that says "My Marriage Testimony." Clicking on it brings you to the blog entry that we discussed here:

http://freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&p=622772

[Talitha Cumi]

So JB was up in a balloon with a nervous wife who just ate beans. Fabulous.

Maybe they were hoping for a Josie moment?

Ugh, I hate myself for thinking that.

[itsthatonegirl]

How charming. It's one thing to give a gift where you put your OWN likes and needs second because you want to please the recipient; that's a selfless gesture. It's another thing to give a give a gift where you totally discount the likes and needs of the recipient in favor of what YOU want; that's a selfISH gesture.

I almost feel like this is some kind of sadistic game. Let's push and push and push and see how long it takes before the woman breaks under the strain of constantly having to deny her emotions and desires, all in the name of keeping submissively sweet. And, of course, when she does break, it will be because of HER faults and weaknesses, not because she's being forced into a life that's cruel and unrealistic.

WTF is wrong with these people?

I really felt this way too... when the balloon ride ended and she said she had liked it, I thought, either she was terrified, but didn't want to say she didn't like it, out of fear of looking unsubmissive, or, worse, she somehow lied even to herself, and forced herself to believe she liked it.

Although it is kind of weird that she went skydiving previously, if she is so afraid of heights. What was up with that?

Jim Bob, though, really should have asked her. That just isn't something that should have been a "surprise". What a horrible surprise!

[LittleMama]

I feel like maybe she is using the wrong word. "Submission" doesn't seem to fit what she was describing. It seemed more like "graciousness", which actually is not a bad thing. Being gracious makes more sense, because even though she might have not liked everything he planned, she loves him and tried to see his intention, and decided to enjoy it because she enjoyed how much work or effort he put into doing something for her. (This is the base idea, not saying his intentions were good or real or anything, just that what Lori described sounded more like this than submission.)

I have seen her do this before, with the hair cut makeover episode. I don't think anyone would say she was being submissive to her friend and the hair dresser, but I think she was trying (and sometimes you could really tell it was hard for her) to be gracious about their intent and not that fact that she might not like the hair cut. She tried to stay positive, I think. That is graciousness, not submissiveness.

My 2 cents anyway.

[Want More Babies]

I just noticed that Lori added a link to the side of her blog that says "My Marriage Testimony." Clicking on it brings you to the blog entry that we discussed here:

viewtopic.php?f=8&p=622772

I think Lori just dogged on Ken in a comment from her, "Is your husband afraid of you" post.

Courtney (is this someone from here) asked Lori, "Could you give an example or two of something like that? Something that a man might do that could seem harsh or selfish, but that a wife shouldn't be hurt or offended by? I'm curious and trying to understand where that "line" is between cases when it's fine to tell your husband that something he did hurt/offended you, and in other instances realizing you're being oversensitive and should just keep it to yourself and not bother him."

Lori's response: He's stressed and doesn't listen to you, gets angry and loses his temper, tells you he doesn't like the meal you have just slaved over, is late for dinner every night, keeps forgetting to do something you have asked him to do, says you need to lose weight, etc. No man is perfect and will offend his wife at times. People, today, get offended over almost everything. The more you can not get angry and accept his faults, just letting him be, the easier your life will be. "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11

I am betting that this is how Ken treats Lori. This might be why she is almost obsessed with weight.

[Arete]

I really felt this way too... when the balloon ride ended and she said she had liked it, I thought, either she was terrified, but didn't want to say she didn't like it, out of fear of looking unsubmissive, or, worse, she somehow lied even to herself, and forced herself to believe she liked it.

Although it is kind of weird that she went skydiving previously, if she is so afraid of heights. What was up with that?

Jim Bob, though, really should have asked her. That just isn't something that should have been a "surprise". What a horrible surprise!

JB has engaged in borderline if not outright sadism on the show more than once with his wife, his kids, and other people's kids. I only read about the stuff he does, and it is disturbing. His sadism has probably grown in direct proportion to the unfettered power he has accumulated with his family and his cult over the past two decades. He is now at the tipping point of becoming an outright monster, and no, I don't think I'm exaggerating to make a point.