Lori Alexander: Women Can't Be Nurses and Raise Children

[lilwriter85]

Melanie Scarbrough · 2 hours ago

This woman says she feels called by God. Who are we to tell her otherwise if God wants her to work as a nurse?

Lori Alexander · 47 minutes ago

God tells me, as an older woman, to teach the young women with children to be keepers at home so that is what I do. She asked what I thought, so I told her. Whether she decides to be a keeper at home is completely between her and her husband.

Melanie Scarbrough · 39 minutes ago

It's also between her and God. God speaks to younger women as well as older ones, Lori. I really hope this young woman doesn't put your opinion ahead of God's. If she's really seeking His will, HE is who she should be listening to, not you or anyone else.

:roll: at Lori.

[Minerva]

Lori is wrong. I preferred to be cared for by my dad as a child. My mom wasn't un-nurturing, my dad was just more nurturing than she was. In my opinion, if you think kids care about the genitals of the person raising them, you have a pretty fucked up imagination.

I know a handful of women who were nurses AND had kids. They brought up smart, polite, successful people. No, their kids aren't True Christians[tm][/tm], but each of them is a far more intelligent and productive citizen than Lori. They're a hell of a lot less gullible, too.

[Pathfinder]

Oh good grief.... nursing is so much more than cleaning up poop and being gentle and nurturing. I obtained my Masters Degree in Nursing and nearly all nurses I know are highly skilled, well-educated professionals who have many lives dependent upon them and their knowledge base.

To belittle their role in the care and administration of medical needs is truly abominable. I sure hope that one day Lori doesn't need a nurse to initiate a code blue on her or a loved one and the nurse says "Gee, I'm sorry.... I can't do that, but I will be happy to clean up any poopy mess you care to make!"

Don't tick off the nurses. Ever.

[JMarie]

Here's one of the responses:

I totally agree with this Lori. I just want to add that my mother was a single mom who had to work. I made up my mind at a young age that I would go on welfare or live with relatives or whatever it took to stay home with my children. God has always provided without resorting to those measures. I am thankful. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

It would be okay to go on welfare just so she could experience every nuance of her child's development, without any guilt? Ummm....

[lilwriter85]

Here's one of the responses:

I totally agree with this Lori. I just want to add that my mother was a single mom who had to work. I made up my mind at a young age that I would go on welfare or live with relatives or whatever it took to stay home with my children. God has always provided without resorting to those measures. I am thankful. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

It would be okay to go on welfare just so she could experience every nuance of her child's development, without any guilt? Ummm....

I saw that response. I was kind of surprised Lori allowed it go through especially since it mentioned ebil welfare.

[Cannelle]

Put your money where your mouth is, Lori dear. Start refusing the services and help of female nurses and doctors who have children. See how fucking far that gets you. Enjoy your suffering.

One of the best nurses I ever had was the mother of six kids. The other nurse who changed my life knew enough about brain chemistry and depression to correctly prescribe the particular anti-depressant that would work well for me (it did and it changed absolutely everything. I wish I knew who she was- it was an urgent care type of situation and I no longer live anywhere near the area where this took place- so I could thank her). Nurses are hardworking, intelligent, and talented in many, many ways, and I for one am extremely grateful that they do what they do. Fuck anyone who doesn't get that.

[Jenny]

I think Lori is nuts, but I almost agree with her on this one. My mom is a nurse and she worked part time when I was small but after my sister was born when I was eight, she went to work full time. She basically disappeared from my life, I would see her only for a few minutes before leaving for school. I suppose any career could do this, but I missed my mom when she wasn't home and I think this is a major reason why if I ever have kids I would like to be a stay at home mom.

[Adrienne83]

My husband is a nurse. He's the only male on his floor, so it can be kinda lonely at times. But still, he loves it. And it allows me to be at home with my son, so, YAY! for male nurses!!! :cracking-up:

[Jana814]

My husband is a nurse. He's the only male on his floor, so it can be kinda lonely at times. But still, he loves it. And it allows me to be at home with my son, so, YAY! for male nurses!!! :cracking-up:

Interesting if u don't mind me asking. What kind of nurse is he. Back to Lori, she's a nut.

[chaotic life]

Now that I'm not responding while at work scarfing down a fast lunch.....

I'm sorry, but I stayed home for 1.5 decades and used my nursing degree to do medical foster and adoptive care. I don't regret that time for a nanosecond. However, I WAS using my nursing degree, and trust me I would have gone out of my mind if I had never used my talents and training in those years, even if I did so completely non-traditionally.

When my youngest baby was a mere 13 months, I went back to school and then back to the traditional workforce. Working with young children has required that I be more creative. For the first year, I bartered date night out babysitting for the one afternoon a week that I couldn't share childcare with my husband. Then, I had a live-in nanny that I bartered room and board for the small bit of time I needed her. Now, I have a SAHM, homeschooling mother next door who watches my baby TWO DAYS per week.

Two days per week, Daddy has to be Mr. Mom. He's actually very good at that job. I work a 12 hour shift but I don't have to leave for work until after most of the kids get on the school bus. I do have to balance the hot water with whatever teen is taking a shower those two days a week, but otherwise I am in the living room, getting kids ready for school and being FULLY engaged as a mother. I am raising my children, along with their father and my work status does not change that reality.

I can love my children and raise my children MYSELF and still value ME and what I have to offer society, as well as what I crave to allow me to use my brain and talents to impact this world. They are not mutually exclusive actions. I'm 100% certain that Lori has received care from LOTS of working mothers. Most of the nurses I know have children, whether they are men or women. We are SO vital to healthcare that in most states we are not permitted to unionize and even where we can unionize we are never permitted to strike without a special approval from the government (doesn't happen--can you IMAGINE a hospital without nurses???).

Without nurses, healthcare would come to a GRINDING stop. If you institute a requirement that women with minor children at home cannot work as nurses, you just collapsed the backbone of healthcare in this country. We're barely cranking out enough nurses to meet the need NOW, and estimates all say between Obamacare implementation and the coming retirement crisis we won't continue to meet that need for very long. NO ONE in this nation can afford to lose such vital workers to society over such arbitrary, judgmental drivel.

If you are going to throw we nurses with minor children out of the workforce, then I elect ALL dominionists and fudamentalists who spearhead such action should volunteer to not engage with what is left of healthcare by the time you are done destroying it. We're not even accounting for if you remove all doctors, lab techs, therapists (take your pick, speech, occupational, or physical) respiratory therapists, radiology techs, ultrasonographers or even basic resceptionists just to name a few positions.

[Rita]

Here's one of the responses:

I totally agree with this Lori. I just want to add that my mother was a single mom who had to work. I made up my mind at a young age that I would go on welfare or live with relatives or whatever it took to stay home with my children. God has always provided without resorting to those measures. I am thankful. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

I thought this was a joke, someone poking the tiger to see what would happen.

[Koala]

New reply:

My mother-in-law is an excellent nurse, but I wish she didn't have to work so much. There are very few Godly older women who are available to us "young-ish" wives and moms because they are all working. I'm thankful for you and a couple of other older women bloggers who are trying to step in and fill this huge ministry gap.

You didn't see her because she was out making a damn difference Lori. What the hell would you need to see your pastor's wife for anyway???

[2xx1xy1JD]

Here's one of the responses:

I totally agree with this Lori. I just want to add that my mother was a single mom who had to work. I made up my mind at a young age that I would go on welfare or live with relatives or whatever it took to stay home with my children. God has always provided without resorting to those measures. I am thankful. Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

It would be okay to go on welfare just so she could experience every nuance of her child's development, without any guilt? Ummm....

It's easy to throw away a comment like that when it's not actually a choice that you have ever faced. It's damn insensitive to those who HAVE had to face that choice.

Does she know exactly what the alternative would have been for her single mother? Does she know what is required to obtain welfare and stay eligible? Does she know that "I'm healthy and have a healthy child, but refuse to work or go to school/training until my child is 18 and would like to receive welfare benefits during that time" is not a plan that welfare workers will support? Does she know that welfare benefits often don't pay enough to realistically provide basic needs? Does she appreciate that the risks of living in some housing projects are objectively far, far more serious that any imagined risk of daycare, and that working can be the difference when it comes to having safe housing?

[YPestis]

Has SSM ever commented on Lori's blog? I know Lori commented on SSM's blog the other day. I see SSM staying quiet if she reads Lori's blog. Lori bitched sometime back about women having more jobs in healthcare than men. I think Lori might be ok with male nurses.

But with SSM, I suspect that her husband wanted to be a physician but couldn't because of money issues.

I always figured that since Lori comments on SSM's blog, SSM is in online contact with Lori and reads Lori's drivel too. I'm more and more convinced that SSM, despite her prattling, is using her online persona as an escape from her reality. Why else would she want to surround herself with people that, if they knew the details of her actual life, would show her the same contempt they show everyone else? Lori and her ilk constantly complain about how incompetent female workers are, about how horrible working mothers are. SSM has kept working, albeit part time, in order to keep her license in case she needs to support herself.....I'm not sure Lori would approve.

The fact that SSM's husband is a nurse makes me think he was not always the misogynist that SSM makes him out to be. It just strikes me as odd that someone who shows contempt for women would want to enter a predominately female profession, a field where male members suffers under a certain stigma for. If HHG wanted to enter the health care fields, there are a myriad other jobs he could have trained for (physician assistant, podiatry, pharmacist etc). I get the feeling he was just an average Joe Slob who liked to cheat on his wife and became a misogynist douche after being convinced by SSM to get into the submissive wife thing. Frankly, outside of the submission thing, I don't feel like HHG is terribly religious in his daily life.

[docmom]

Lori Alexander · 47 minutes ago

God tells me, as an older woman, to teach the young women with children to be keepers at home so that is what I do.

God tells me, as a working mother, to tell Lori to shut the fuck up so that is what I do.

I work full time, I have three young children and I am a keeper at home. You don't have to stay home all day to raise good children, you really, really don't. You don't have to stay at home all day to cook good food and have a clean home. You don't need to stay home all day to have a solid marriage. I'm pretty sure God knows this.

[dairyfreelife]

Well, Lori's wrong as per usual.

Partly OT, but haven't heard any more about her son or daughter since they were moving away. I hope they both got out for good and are far, far away from Ken and Lori and are finally able to see what real relationships, happy and loving relationships are like and that children don't need force-fed or beaten to grow up to be good people.

[Koala]

Has anyone noticed that she never mentions her new grandson?

She used to post about E all of the time, but never M. Just thought that was odd. My kids are much older and my mom talks about them to anyone who will listen.

[Hane]

True Nurse Anecdote: Eleven years ago, my nephew was born with a pneumothorax (puncture hole in his lung that occurred when he took his first breaths after his mother's C-section). It was an emotional time for my sister, because this was the first child born in our family after our mother's death, so, as Big Sister, I was acting "in loco Mom." I got chatting with one of the maternity nurses, who reassured me, saying her own child had had a pneumothorax and was just fine. I told her, "I know my sister isn't your patient and you must be very busy, but would you mind stopping in to see her and reassure her?" She did. Here's a case in which a nurse, who was a working mom, was a gift to my family.

Oh, and fuck you, Lori, you twunt. I'm a good decade older than you are, so don't go laying that "wise mentor" shizz on me. The older I get, the more I realize I don't know yet. I'd far rather reassure and support the younger women I know than set myself as an infallible know-it-all.

[lilwriter85]

Has anyone noticed that she never mentions her new grandson?

She used to post about E all of the time, but never M. Just thought that was odd. My kids are much older and my mom talks about them to anyone who will listen.

I have noticed that too. She only mentioned him in one post after he was born and in another post she used a picture of him and Emma for another topic IIRC. I think it is odd since she used to talk about the granddaughter all the time. I have also noticed like dairyfreelife mentioned that she hasn't talked much about the daughter and son that moved or are moving away.

I wonder if her kids have requested that she not talk about them that much on the blog. I also get the feeling that Lori is hiding stuff about her kids because it doesn't fit with what she "preaches". The oldest married daughter is 30 and hasn't had kids yet. The youngest daughter Cassi could be moving away or moved away for career purposes since she has a college degree.

[infooverload]

Thanks you. Thank you. Thank you. As a working mom, this is my no. 1 pet peeve.

There have been times when I've innocently asked a woman if she works outside of the home only to have her reply, "No, I want to raise my own children."

Do fundie SAHMs really believe that the $40 a day a pay to my daycare is enough to get them to raise my child for me? Lori's buddy Sunshine Mary once referred to daycares as "day orphanages."

Lori and her leg humpers make me so mad.

Also I always told people unless you plan on homeschooling and having a lot of kids it makes no sense to stay home. I know my mom stayed home with my brother and use to say she never regretted it, but as she is in retirement and having to make ends meet with my dad's pension and her SSI. I think she has some regrets and she tells me all the time invest in the 401k. My son may accidently call me by his preschool teachers name once in a while, but he knows I'm mom. After all just because you stay home with your kid doesn't guarantee a good relationship with your child as they get older. My brother loves my mom, but she also drives him crazy. Basically I think it is irresponsible to not work, because you are not taking care of your furture. Your child is not responsible for ensuring you are taken care of in old age. Add me to the people who can not stand the whole oh you are not raising your child crap. When I send them to school I'm not expecting them to raise him. I'm expecting them to teach him to do math and other subjects well. I stink at math and would not subject my child to me trying to teach him algebra when I barely passed. Basically life is not a one size fits all type of existence and it even wasn't this way in the Bible.

[kpmom]

Also I always told people unless you plan on homeschooling and having a lot of kids it makes no sense to stay home. I know my mom stayed home with my brother and use to say she never regretted it, but as she is in retirement and having to make ends meet with my dad's pension and her SSI. I think she has some regrets and she tells me all the time invest in the 401k. My son may accidently call me by his preschool teachers name once in a while, but he knows I'm mom. After all just because you stay home with your kid doesn't guarantee a good relationship with your child as they get older. My brother loves my mom, but she also drives him crazy. Basically I think it is irresponsible to not work, because you are not taking care of your furture. Your child is not responsible for ensuring you are taken care of in old age. Add me to the people who can not stand the whole oh you are not raising your child crap. When I send them to school I'm not expecting them to raise him. I'm expecting them to teach him to do math and other subjects well. I stink at math and would not subject my child to me trying to teach him algebra when I barely passed. Basically life is not a one size fits all type of existence and it even wasn't this way in the Bible.

infooverload, I've read that women in retirement have a higher incidence then men of living below the poverty line because of a.) working in low paying jobs, and b.) taking time off to raise a family.

In both cases, her social security benefits would be affected. So, I agree with you to a degree.

However, there are some things a couple can do to protect the future of a stay at home spouse. A stay at home spouse can have an ira in his/her name (up to $6,000 a year, depending on age), for example.

And can I agree with your mom and encourage you to invest in your 401k? You won't regret it.

[infooverload]

infooverload, I've read that women in retirement have a higher incidence then men of living below the poverty line because of a.) working in low paying jobs, and b.) taking time off to raise a family.

In both cases, her social security benefits would be affected. So, I agree with you to a degree.

However, there are some things a couple can do to protect the future of a stay at home spouse. A stay at home spouse can have an ira in his/her name (up to $6,000 a year, depending on age), for example.

And can I agree with your mom and encourage you to invest in your 401k? You won't regret it.

I know I will not regret it and it is a matter of just doing it. I agree there are things a couple can do, but how many couples do those things and especially when dealing with fundie couples or the couples Lori "mentors." Basically I so want to tell her go help somebody in your community and stop wasting time instructing other people how to live. She is not Dear Abby and her advice is so one size fits all it is often more damaging then useful.

[chaotic life]

The problem with telling a couple to put into a SAHM's retirement account is that most one income families cannot afford to put $6K per year into a retirement for a SAHM. We did not put into my retirement in the years I stayed home, but will be building my retirement savings at a faster pace than his to compensate now. This problem is exactly why you can claim 50% of your spouses SSA benefits if that is more than your contributions, to try to protect women (typically) who didn't put away retirement because they either worked as domestic help, or they stayed home.

[Koala]

Irresponsible not to work, irresponsible to work = one extreme to another

[JMarie]

I saw that response. I was kind of surprised Lori allowed it go through especially since it mentioned ebil welfare.

And now it's gone.