Lori Alexander: Women Can't Be Nurses and Raise Children

[lilwriter85]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/09/if-mamas-are-home-who-will-be-nurses.html

She's a working mama and has a great question concerning working mamas. "I'm a nurse. The truth is, most men won't do this work {only 5% of nurses are men}. I feel called to serve God and others by nursing and being kind to my patients. If mamas don't work, who would be the nurses? Who would clean the poop and be gentle with the old people who have dementia?"

Children only get one mama. Children need their mamas. Children want to be raised by their mamas. God wants mamas home raising their children. It takes a lot of time to raise children to love Jesus, to have good manners, to be self-controlled and disciplined. This is a job for mamas.

Women who have never married make great nurses. Women who are married and haven't had children make great nurses. Women whose children are all grown up make great nurses. There are many women who can be nurses who aren't raising children.

Childhood is fleeting. I would not have wanted to miss my babies' first smile, their first tooth, their first step, their first word, or any other of their firsts. I wouldn't want anyone else disciplining or raising my children. I gave life to them and I wanted to raise them.

If you have any possible way to raise your babies, I encourage you to do it. No one can take your place. Fathers are great but they are not mothers. Mothers have a nurturing, gentle spirit that God gave them to raise children. I loved having my mom home full-time to raise me. It was truly a gift from God.

Lori's post is annoying for several reasons. Not all women are going to want to enter the career field when their children have grown up. The part about how many woman who aren't raising kids can be nurses is dumb. I don't have kids and I have several female friends who don't have kids. Many men and women don't go into healthcare careers for several reasons, not every person is going to feel comfortable doing those kinds of jobs. I had a male friend who considered going into nursing but after researching the field he decided against it.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I think my 10 year old uses more sophisticated sentence structure. It sounds like she's writing for children.

Sure, nursing can be demanding, which is why I'm glad that my SIL, who is a nurse, was able to take maternity/parental leave for a year with each baby. That said, it is also a job that can offer flexible schedules or shift work, which is an advantage for working moms who need to minimize daycare.

Babies do not stay babies forever. They get older, they benefit from going to school and socializing with other kids, and having a job that can't be outsourced and that provides decent pay so that you can support your family and work fewer hours is not a bad thing.

[louisa05]

So baby's first tooth is a one time event? It won't be there anymore when mom gets home from work? What???

I really hate the part of this--by Lori's supposed questioner--that implies that only women with children can be nurturing and caring in the health care field. My father is extremely ill. We meet lots of health care workers. We could care less about their personal lives as long as they do their job well. And we have seen a number of male nurses in the last year, especially RNs at the hospital in specialties like radiology and surgery. They have all been exceptional. There is also a male CMA at the cancer center who is on my dad's preferred list for doing his blood draws (some are much better than others at that task).

[curlytoes79]

Cripes, this black-and-white world Lori and her fans live in is truly fascinating. Are you a guy? Then you can't be gentle with old people. Are you a woman? Then you can't have children and work, too! Are you a father? Then you're not a mother and hence can't be as nurturing with your children.

[lilwriter85]

From the fangirls

kathy

I totally agree with you Lori. There will always be some good excuse to not stay home with the kids. In my opinion the only real excuse is if it's a matter of true survival. Which would be food, shelter and clothing. Obviously I don't mean the big fancy house, two new cars, latest fashions, boats, etc. etc.

We all see how a lot of two income families live these days. I for one will not be fooled into their excuse that they couldn't get by on one income. It's a matter of choices. I with you believe many are making the wrong choice.

The break down of the family is one of the most, if not the most, detrimental things that has happened to our society. So many people don't want to look at this. They turn away from the salt of the earth. The healing and yet sometimes painful salt.

Thank you for offering light and salt to all of us who take the time to read your wonderful advice. You offer all of us healing. It is up to each of us if we want to accept it. It's definitely not always easy. I for one think it's worth it.

Thanks again.

ETA: What irritates me about Lori and her fangirls is they don't realize there are some shortages in parts of the U.S. in regards to nurses and other healthcare professionals. Lori doesn't realize that without women(whether they have kids or not) in healthcare there would be more shortages and many problems that would result from that.

[Daisy]

I am really sick of people saying the if mom and dad both work outside the home then you are letting someone else raise your child. My child goes to daycare and we,the parents, are still the ones raising him.

[Antigone]

This. I hate this, since my grandma was a nurse, and many of my aunts and cousins are nurses or in the healthcare profession. For chrissakes, Severus was in nursing school before he decided on another profession in the healthcare industry. I wish I could be a nurse, but I don't have the stomach for it, and I am sure the profession thanks me for not being a nurse. I was a caretaker for my grandfather, when he got cancer, and I will be one for Severus eventually, and it can be hard work sometimes, and I have tremendous respect for the people who do this.

Grandma raised six children while being a nurse, thank you, and did just fine with my mother and her siblings. This profession doesn't need to listen to, or read about, people like Lori. Severus would have been a kick-ass nurse, if he had gone through with his plan- he is terrific with our little one and other people.

Lori, just....do a favor and be quiet, please. I don't need another headache today.

[polecat]

Parents raise kids regardless of whether a parent stays home or the child goes to daycare. What a weird notion to think otherwise.

[PennySycamore]

Oh, fuck Lori!

I have known a lot of wonderful nurses in my lifetime. Some of them have not been married or had kids. Most of them have been mothers, though including my sister-in-law who is the mom of sons and a daughter. The three kids have all grown up to be great people even though their mom was not a "full-time" mom.

Btw, I loathe the term "full-time mom" for a mother stays-at-home with her kids. A woman doesn't stop being a mother just because she has a job that requires her to be separated from her child. In fact, some of those moms do awfully motherly things on the job such as pumping their milk for their babies.

[Loveday]

Oh, really, Lori? My mother in law would be fascinated by this post. You see, she raised three boys in the 60s and 70s while working at least part time as a nurse. Her husband was in the Navy, and when he was out to sea, she worked less, and when he was in port, she worked more. And oddly enough, all three of her sons turned out to be well-mannered, mature, intelligent contributers to society, with equally well-mannered, mature, and intellligent children of their own, some of whom are now contributing to society themselves (one granddaughter--gasp!--is a full time physician's assistant even though she's got two small children. I know you wouldn't approve, Lori, but somehow I doubt my niece would give a shit what you think).

You need to get your head out of your arse and stop telling other women what they should and shouldn't do. Yeah, I know the Bible tells older women to be mentors to the younger women, but implicit in that is the fact that the older women should have some common sense. You, Lori, have none. :roll:

[2xx1xy1JD]

From the fangirls

ETA: What irritates me about Lori and her fangirls is they don't realize there are some shortages in parts of the U.S. in regards to nurses and other healthcare professionals. Lori doesn't realize that without women(whether they have kids or not) in healthcare there would be more shortages and many problems that would result from that.

I feel stabby when I read about women and "excuses" for things that are perfectly legitimate decisions.

Look, I don't need an "excuse" not to stay home with the kids. It's a personal and family decision. We need income, we need to ensure that the kids are fine, and we arrange our lives to do this in a way that makes everyone family. If it works for us, we don't need to make "excuses" to anyone else, because nobody appointed them as judges of what works for our family. [i won't say that I never judge anything, since I've done child protection work, but it's limited to things that are genuinely and objectively bad for kids.]

[frumper-rump]

It's funny...as a working mom, I havent really missed any of my children's "firsts". My oldest started daycare at 10 months, my youngest started at 3 months. I really cant think of one truly important "first" that I've missed. :think:

[YPestis]

So, does anyone think SSM will hop onto Lori's blog and talk about what a nurturing nurse her husband is? :-)

It's always been weird to me that SSM hangs out with people (i.e like Lori) that would probably look down on her husbands profession as a "feminine" job. I've heard more than once about how nursing is a great female job because it allows full expression of the feminine nurturing spirit. I tend to think fundies have a contemptuous opinion of nursing, they talk like its all about holding babies and wiping butts and not much thinking done, which makes it great for the females....

Lori is saying that while she can't dispute the fact nursing is a great "female" profession, you still gots to stay home with the baby because only mothers can care for the baby, because that's how all babies were cared for. It's not like in biblical times mothers died in childbirth or motherless children existed in numbers.....

[kpmom]

I wonder how many married-with children nurses took care of Lori when she's had her surgeries?

Did she question them about their personal lives and let them know how she feels?

Or, more likely, did she just accept the care she received as her due? I wonder?

I always laugh at the fundies who gripe about women working but have no problem benefiting from working women when it suits them (eg. Nathan and Melanie Maxwell)

[chaotic life]

This is no longer 1896 and the AMA has no policy against male nurses. Men make up over 9% of the profession now.

Anyway, I work 2 days a week and get to spend more time with my kids than not, best of both worlds to me.

[OkToBeTakei]

God she's boring.

Basically in Lori-land you are a walking on call vessel for a penis, in your off-penis time you make a piss poor job of raising your kids to think the same way.

[snuggles911]

I am really sick of people saying the if mom and dad both work outside the home then you are letting someone else raise your child. My child goes to daycare and we,the parents, are still the ones raising him.

Thanks you. Thank you. Thank you. As a working mom, this is my no. 1 pet peeve.

There have been times when I've innocently asked a woman if she works outside of the home only to have her reply, "No, I want to raise my own children."

Do fundie SAHMs really believe that the $40 a day a pay to my daycare is enough to get them to raise my child for me? Lori's buddy Sunshine Mary once referred to daycares as "day orphanages."

Lori and her leg humpers make me so mad.

[snarkyjan]

So, does anyone think SSM will hop onto Lori's blog and talk about what a nurturing nurse her husband is? :-)

It's always been weird to me that SSM hangs out with people (i.e like Lori) that would probably look down on her husbands profession as a "feminine" job. I've heard more than once about how nursing is a great female job because it allows full expression of the feminine nurturing spirit. I tend to think fundies have a contemptuous opinion of nursing, they talk like its all about holding babies and wiping butts and not much thinking done, which makes it great for the females....

Lori is saying that while she can't dispute the fact nursing is a great "female" profession, you still gots to stay home with the baby because only mothers can care for the baby, because that's how all babies were cared for. It's not like in biblical times mothers died in childbirth or motherless children existed in numbers.....

Not to mention that until fairly recently, middle- and upper-class children were farmed out to wetnurses and nannies until they were weaned, then to governesses until they reached school-age.

[thoughtful]

I think my 10 year old uses more sophisticated sentence structure. It sounds like she's writing for children.

Or like she's hoping that there will be a fundie version of the Harry's Bar Imitation Hemingway Competition.

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Bad-Hemingwa ... 0156118610

I would rather have a mother who works outside the home than be raised by Lori, that's for sure!

[Dysfundamental]

My grandmother was a nurse, and a good thing she was, too, as she had to raise two children on her income alone after my grandfather died suddenly.

Thanks for the bigoted drivel, Lori. Honestly, though, I can't snark her terrible writing knowing that she's still/again having neurological issues. Not that she was ever a good writer, of course.

[tralala]

Sure We can. My mom did it. plenty of nurses do it.

Hell, between part time positions and different starting times it's a definite possibility. You need support to make it work, but you need support to make it work no matter what profession you take on in addition to motherhood. Its a female dominated profession, its filled with mothers. Lori needs to take her head out of her ass.

[AnywhereButHere]

Moron. That pretty much sums up Lori.

As for nurses, many of my friends and family are in the nursing profession, from ER, maternity, nursing homes, you name it. All of them are also kick ass mothers and in general, family people. Oh, and the nurse who attended my father in his last days was kind, patient, knowledgeable, understanding, more than competant, compassionate, oh and MALE. So, take that and stuff it Lori.

[JMarie]

Does she chastize the working mothers who care for her when she's receiving the medical care that she doesn't think others deserve??

[lilwriter85]

]I wonder how many married-with children nurses took care of Lori when she's had her surgeries?

Did she question them about their personal lives and let them know how she feels?

Or, more likely, did she just accept the care she received as her due? I wonder?

I always laugh at the fundies who gripe about women working but have no problem benefiting from working women when it suits them (eg. Nathan and Melanie Maxwell)

I wonder about that too. I would say that at least 50% of them were married with children. I do wonder how Lori interacts with female healthcare professionals. Based on what she has posted on the blog, it seems she deals mostly with male doctors with her brain tumor issues. I can picture her being a bitch with female doctors if she had to see them or deal with them. She has stated her disdain for various types of working women on the blog several times. I recall her once saying something like, "It was better before women took over" and sometime back she did whine about more women working in healthcare than men. I think maybe Lori has asked nurses in the past simple questions like "Do you have kids or are you married?". Maybe she keeps quiet after the questions are answered and judges the nurses in her head.

[lilwriter85]

So, does anyone think SSM will hop onto Lori's blog and talk about what a nurturing nurse her husband is? :-)

It's always been weird to me that SSM hangs out with people (i.e like Lori) that would probably look down on her husbands profession as a "feminine" job. I've heard more than once about how nursing is a great female job because it allows full expression of the feminine nurturing spirit. I tend to think fundies have a contemptuous opinion of nursing, they talk like its all about holding babies and wiping butts and not much thinking done, which makes it great for the females....

Lori is saying that while she can't dispute the fact nursing is a great "female" profession, you still gots to stay home with the baby because only mothers can care for the baby, because that's how all babies were cared for. It's not like in biblical times mothers died in childbirth or motherless children existed in numbers.....

Has SSM ever commented on Lori's blog? I know Lori commented on SSM's blog the other day. I see SSM staying quiet if she reads Lori's blog. Lori bitched sometime back about women having more jobs in healthcare than men. I think Lori might be ok with male nurses.

But with SSM, I suspect that her husband wanted to be a physician but couldn't because of money issues.