Sex is a ministry, and your hus. doesn't care if you like it

[Brittany15]

I think Lori just doesn't get very good sex so she is negative about it.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Shorter Lori Alexander is a Fucking Monster.

"I'm not having orgasms so neither should you."

[curlytoes79]

I say we take up a collection to send her a Hitachi wand.

[polecat]

I say we take up a collection to send her a Hitachi wand.

Those little eggs are way better. For realz.

Maybe we should send her a whole box of goodies.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Doesnt Lori realise that most men do actually care that they are pleasuring their partner as well and would find having sex with a non entheusiastic partner would ruin the fun of it? Its not all men, its just Ken is shit in bed.

[Minerva]

Lori thinks most men are douche bags. Lori is wrong. Lori just happened to marry a douche bag and is generalizing his personality to that of all men.

I think it's her way of coping with having a rotten marriage.

[lexiloumarie]

I always wonder how she/they contextualize lesbianism when they say women have little to no sex drive. Does she think we're just painting toe nails and braiding each others hair or something?

[walnut]

I knew it was this being. I knew it.

Sex is not a ministry. It sounds like it's an awful burden for her. And the way she puts it, makes it sound much worse than voluntary work to help people, which isn't a burden, either. She is so miserable that is far beyond my comprehension.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

Most men get married so they can have sex. It is the way God made them.

The idea that that men prefer sex to love is so gross. And sad. Nothing like believing you as a person come second to the cascading roll of an orgasm. :roll:

It's so sad how she's basically promoting marital rape and emotional disassociation since women are suppose to just do it even if they don't want to. Gross really.

[salex]

I knew it was this being. I knew it.

Sex is not a ministry. It sounds like it's an awful burden for her. And the way she puts it, makes it sound much worse than voluntary work to help people, which isn't a burden, either. She is so miserable that is far beyond my comprehension.

I was telling my husband about Lori's post. He told me that perhaps sex was a ministry, because he worshiped me frequently, sex can make people speak in tongues--and it has to be a gift from God. Maybe we listen to too much Leonard Cohen...

[Arete]

Their lack of self awareness in putting down for the whole world to see that she is frigid and he is an industrial grade douche is EPIC. Anyone want to hazard a guess that she is frigid because he is an industrial grade douche? Don't even get me started on that "sex is a ministry to your husband" bullshit. :roll:

[Full enough quiver]

Maybe if masturbation wasn't "evil" sex might be more enjoyable for lori. Like if ken finishes in under ten minutes, he could find other ways to finish the job. (hey, it happens to the best of men). And if she wasn't up for sex, she can offer some alternatives. I've certainly "done it" with my husband a few times when he wanted to and I didn't, And I'm sure he's done the same for me, but it wasn't an obligation. I did it because i wanted to please him, and 9 times out of 10, wound up enjoying it too. If I had said no, he would have accepted that. (after pestering for a bj. Hes a decent guy, but definitely still a guy) Fundies miss out on so much by not really enjoying each other sexually. There's more to marriage than sex, and there's more to sex than missionary position, piv intercourse.

[nolongerIFBx]

What a miserable live experience she must have had. I can tell you that my husband has always cared that i enjoy sex as much as he-- and would be completely unhappy if he thought I was just giving him sex. in 30+ years, we've both had a lot of changes in our sex drive, for a variety of reasons called "real life" Not to mention, has this woman never heard of female orgasms? This bit about If she learns the pleasure of pleasing her husband and the closeness between the two, it can be a very enjoyable experience for her. sounds as though she has no clue about why women might like sex for sex sake.

This makes me think of Diane Keaton's character in "Because I Said So". Of her husband, "He said he didn't have all day and he worked nights". :pink-shock:

[Phoebe]

I always wonder how she/they contextualize lesbianism when they say women have little to no sex drive. Does she think we're just painting toe nails and braiding each others hair or something?

Pillow fights.

[curlytoes79]

Doesnt Lori realise that most men do actually care that they are pleasuring their partner as well and would find having sex with a non entheusiastic partner would ruin the fun of it? Its not all men, its just Ken is shit in bed.

It's funny how these fundamentalist bloggers cherry-pick information from evolutionary science (like men are programmed to want sex often).

Men are also evolutionarily programmed to want to please their woman. Why? Because it usually takes some extra effort and finesse to sexually please a woman, and males who can do that are highly sought after as mates. No woman wants a hump-and-dump guy when she's got a choice.

These fundy men have it easy; their women are trained to be so servile and self-sacrificing that they don't even know a good man from a bad one anymore.

[salex]

Do husbands care if their wives aren't enjoying it as much as they are every single time they have sex? I doubt it as long as she isn't grumbling and complaining while having sex! If she learns the pleasure of pleasing her husband and the closeness between the two, it can be a very enjoyable experience for her.

Lori comes across as bitter because she has prostituted her self for a place to live and a little cash for the last 30 years or so. She is bought and paid for and has no other real work skills, so having bad sex she doesn't want is apparently her only job. This bit reads like the song from Les Misarables

Come on, Captain,

you can wear your shoes

Don't it make a change

To have a girl who can't refuse

Easy money

Lying on a bed

Just as well they never see

The hate that's in your head

Don't they know they're making love

To one already dead!

[Minerva]

Their lack of self awareness in putting down for the whole world to see that she is frigid and he is an industrial grade douche is EPIC. Anyone want to hazard a guess that she is frigid because he is an industrial grade douche? Don't even get me started on that "sex is a ministry to your husband" bullshit. :roll:

This is pretty much what I was thinking. She's really deluded if she thinks it isn't obvious how abnormally miserable her sex life and marriage are. Either that or she has faith that her target audience (naïve, sheltered girls) won't think to google her name.

Lori Alexander is a monster.

[TinyDancer87]

If I was a virgin/fundie waiting for my first time to be on my wedding night, and I see this:

Do husbands care if their wives aren't enjoying it as much as they are? I doubt it as long as she isn't grumbling and complaining while having sex! If she learns the pleasure of pleasing her husband and the closeness between the two, it can be a very enjoyable experience for her.

It is all a matter of mindset for most women. I encourage young women preparing for marriage to decide to enjoy sex. Make up your mind to like it even before you have it and give it to your husband freely. If you have that mindset, it is not a chore but a way to make your husband happy and a wonderful form of ministry!

I would be frightened of marriage and this duty-to-be-a-sex-slave! Lori makes it sound horrible and dreadful.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Lori makes marriage and sex sound like a horrible chore, and all men sound like all they want is a maid and a warm hole to stick his dick in. Lori, if you married someone who wasnt a total douchebag who is shit in bed, you would see that marriage is a beautiful, loving thing between two people who love and care for eachother very much, and sex between two lovers is a wonderful experience that is pleasurable for all parties involved.

[Carla Bruni]

What sad, sad little lives they lead.

I have the libido of a 16-year-old boy. The only reason my partner count is relatively low is because I'm crazy freaked out by STDs to an irrational degree. That said, if I happen upon an insensitive partner, he gets canned, because there's no way I'm getting nekkid for someone who doesn't care about my pleasure.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Career guru Penelope Trunk writes a secular version of this:

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2013/09/0 ... /#comments

[Burris]

It’s hard to imagine what Lori’s husband thinks when reading posts such as that, where his wife passive-aggressively emasculates him: She is hanging a sign around the man’s neck that says, ‘Bad in bed.’

Even assuming Lori’s premise is true – that men feel most loved when physically engaged, while women feel most loved through attentive conversation – then there’s still a major problem with her solution: If the physical act of coitus is that important to men – so necessary for their sense of achievement as husbands – then all but the dumbest and most narcissistic of them would be disturbed to learn their wives fake their way through sex and are mentally a thousand kilometres away while their bodies lie like limp dishrags.

Lori’s advice – give sex on demand, and throw in a moan or two for the sake of your husband’s ego – is as insulting to both men and women.

Lori is also wrong about the reason why men marry. Men do not marry for sex. Men, like women, can find sex in a variety of places without having to enter into a legal contract with one women. $50 and the privacy of a dark alley would serve just as well.

[JMarie]

Scrolling through the comments, the original question poser posts a comment. Clicking on her name takes you to her blog. I don't understand why she'd read Lori's vile bile, if the link is correct. She and her husband are ex-Mormon, and they don't mention religion (even wishing the readers a Happy Festivus one year). She's also working on a not-Lori-approved Ph.D. in not-Lori-approved engineering.

[salex]

Imaginary Questioner--"Ken, if God didn't intend for women to enjoy sex, why did he create them with a clitoris?"

Ken "A what?"

[GolightlyGrrl]

Imaginary Questioner--"Ken, if God didn't intend for women to enjoy sex, why did he create them with a clitoris?"

Ken "A what?"