Model behavior with the Moodys

[ILoveJellybeans]

Steve has no heart. He is a soulless, sad man who absorbs the spirits of all of the people he makes miserable. He crushed his family's spirits and absorbed them, and thats why he sells books and uses his family to sell stuff. When a parent puts chore packs on their child, takes away their friends and restricts them to reading the Moody books, it crushes the child's spirit so Steve can absorb it and become powerful.

[uber frau]

So basically, he's a better looking version of a dementor.

[sparkles]

...Sarah, my oldest daughter, will occasionally tease me by saying, “Come on Daddy, admit it, you love that dog.†What is there to admit? How could I say I love a dog? I love my children and Teri, but I can't see “loving†a dog (please no emails from anyone who does). Without playing word-games, isn't love really a choice that is demonstrated by actions? So if Sarah watches the way I patiently interact with the dog, scratch its neck and offer to let the dog ride along in the car when I'm going somewhere, she might draw the conclusion that I love that dog.

Sarah's question was used by the Holy Spirit to teach me the greatest lesson, and it is worth dwelling on. By observing my interaction with the dog, Sarah was reasoning that I loved the dog. The question that came to my heart was, “If someone observes the way I interact with Teri, the way I hold her hand, stroke her neck, help her, and whether I want to be with her, will they conclude that I greatly love my wife?†I can have wonderful discussions with my children as we talk about how we treat those we love, but do they actually observe their father acting that way? Am I a hypocrite living for my own pleasure or a man of God demonstrating true love for his wife?...

[Trynn]

See, my mom told me she loves Jade, but that the love is a little different than how she loves humans. Which is at least understandable but not loving the dog at all?

I would prefer a dog's company to Steve's. Dogs have actually been known to HELP with depression. I think spending a day with Steve would result in... well, bad things.

[latraviata]

Yeah, the truly respectful thing to do is call people what they prefer to be called. This little vignette doesn't teach respect; it teaches that Daddy is in charge and gets to decide everything, even other adults disagree.

Exactly that, the Dutch and French language have the distinction between You and you. I tought my children that adults are always You, unless they invited the children to call them by their first name which means you.

Personally I don't like to be called Mrs at all, but I like to be the one who takes the initiative to call me by my first name, not the children or younger people.

For those who feel for some reason offended....different culture.....

[danvillebelle]

Just when I thought Steve couldn't be any MORE of a giant asshat in my eyes, he goes and tops himself. :disgust:

I love my dog so much it hurts. He's 10, the average age for Shelties is 13. I cannot entertain even the slightest thought of what life will be like without him or I tear up.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Here we have an example of nightly devotions (the book mentions the morning ones also), as well as the "if you have questions, the answer is given via Bible verse" thing, and the "if you want something, pray for it" thing, the "you don't know what you want, and your wants don't matter, just give it up to Jesus." Plus she makes sure to show Mom wanting another baby. Earlier in the book they've mentioned wanting another kid already, because Maddie is 3 already, hurry it up! :)

(Setting: The Moody children put up flyers for their new pet-sitting business, but they've not gotten any calls yet. Max is 11, and Mitch is 8.)

As the family gathered for nightly devotions, Dad could tell Max was troubled.

"Son, something's wrong. What's the matter?" Dad gently asked.

"Why hasn't anyone called? We handed the flyers out, and no one has wanted us to pet-sit yet. Maybe we had bad ideas for our businesses. What kind of summer will this be?" he glumly wondered.

Dad smiled. "I think our chapter today in Romans will fit very well. Let's open our Bibles to Romans 8 and start reading."

When they came to verse 28, Dad said to Max, "Why don't you read this one?"

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose," Max read.

Mitch said, I think that verse means that we need to trust in the Lord. He'll do what's right for us. Even if we don't get customers, He knows what is best."

Dad nodded and smiled encouragingly. Mom joined in, "Sometimes we want our own way. We think we know what we want, but as Mitch said, Jesus knows best. We just have to trust that He'll work everything out. I want another baby, but the Lord hasn't seen fit to give us one. I know He has a purpose, and we can rest in Him."

Dad was pleased that Max seemed to be listening carefully to the conversation. Dad said, "Yes, Mom and Mitch are right, Max. The Lord, who knows when a baby sparrow falls to the ground, knows about you wanting customers. If He thinks it's best, He'll give them to you. if not, you'll have to trust that He'll send you something better to do."

Max said, "You're right Dad. I'll leave it up to Jesus. May we pray right now?"

The family knelt together. Max prayed, "Dear Jesus, You know how badly we want customers for our businesses. Dad's right, Lord. You know what's best for us. If it is Your will, would You please send business to us? Or, please help me be content if You don't want us to have customers. Please show us what we should do with our time. Thank You, Jesus. Amen."

(Setting: They get their first call right afterward.)

[Odd1Out]

So showing affection for a dog does not mean he loves it. Showing affection for his wife shows he does love her? I'm confused.

[bananacat]

Steve's heart is two sizes too small. I remember a Corner where he mentioned Sarah asking him if he loved Honey (he was petting the dog at the time). Steve said no, because you can't love animals like you do people, or some such nonsense.

He's such a cold fish.

I honestly don't think Steve can even love people the way other people love people.

[Odd1Out]

I honestly don't think Steve can even love people the way other people love people.

Steve has no idea what love really is and absolutely no clue what passion is. I think when he dies God is going to demand to know why Steve sucked every ounce of individualism, creativity, and curiosity out of his family.

[bananacat]

Here's another thing about children addressing adults. When I was a late teenager (17-20ish), I did a fair amount of things involving children. The trend during that time was for children to call less-formal caregivers as Miss Firstname, but I just don't like that. So I filled in occasionally at a home day care and the children called the main caregiver Miss Emily, but I told them to just call me Megan. Nobody had a problem with that and the children learned a lesson that respect is treating people the way that they personally prefer.

I also volunteered as a group leader at my church's Vacation Bible School during the summers, and I was the youngest one (most of the other leaders were parents of children who were attending). Again, I explained to them that while other adults preferred to be called Miss Mary or Mister George, I wanted to be addressed by just my first name. One of the older women got really mad at me about that, insisting that the children would have no respect for me and that I wouldn't be able to keep them under control. But she was completely wrong. In spite of my young age and not requiring a special title, the kids all obeyed me and very well-behaved. I never had a problem with any of them.

So here's the point. If you can't get children to respect you with your first name, then the problem isn't with how they address you; it's that you don't deserve their respect.

Of course, I always valued children as actual people and not little robots that are expected to obey without question, so maybe that's why I rarely encountered behavior problems. I just talked explained things as much as they could understand, occasionally "pulled rank" even if they couldn't understand, and rarely even had to resort to punishment. I can remember maybe 4 time-outs ever in my career of caring for children.

[Just_Jane]

mewwy and dwess makes me think of the wedding scene from The Princess Bride.

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[Miggy]

Maxwell's were builders or something originally, weren't they? I bet they walked straight into other people's homes and introduced themselves to the kids. You've got to open the dialogue if you want to save them.

[Pathfinder]

I am a dog lover, and what really gets me is when people call their dog "it" or "the dog" when they know good and well that the dog has a name.

Not once in these paragraphs did Steve use the dog's name "Honey". To me, that speaks volumes.

[Pathfinder]

Here we have an example of nightly devotions (the book mentions the morning ones also), as well as the "if you have questions, the answer is given via Bible verse" thing, and the "if you want something, pray for it" thing, the "you don't know what you want, and your wants don't matter, just give it up to Jesus." Plus she makes sure to show Mom wanting another baby. Earlier in the book they've mentioned wanting another kid already, because Maddie is 3 already, hurry it up! :)

This is very, very sad. I can see Sarah's pain all throughout this passage of dialogue. Max longs for customers, but so far God has not sent any. Mom longs for another baby, so far God has not sent any. Sarah longs for a husband, but so far God has not sent her one.

[polecat]

A little black kitten showed up on my doorstep 13 years ago. She quickly wormed her way into my heart. She welcomed each of my children into the home and treated them as though they were her kittens. She would cuddle with them when they were sad or in trouble, and she never left my side during my grief at losing my mother. That is love. She loved us, and of course we loved her. It was heart-rending to have to say goodbye to her when the cancer wrapped itself around her heart, suffocating her more with each breath she took.

Any man who talks about animals the way he does doesn't deserve the love of one.

Then again, maybe he's using this roundabout way to say he doesn't really love his wife but is only using her for his own amusement just as he is using his dog.

[Mary C Doates]

Here we have an example of nightly devotions (the book mentions the morning ones also), as well as the "if you have questions, the answer is given via Bible verse" thing, and the "if you want something, pray for it" thing, the "you don't know what you want, and your wants don't matter, just give it up to Jesus." Plus she makes sure to show Mom wanting another baby. Earlier in the book they've mentioned wanting another kid already, because Maddie is 3 already, hurry it up! :)

It's Steve's standard "Trust and Obeeeyyyy" answer to everything (although the Maxwells seem to pronounce it as "Trust ind Obeeeyyyy"). No point in asking questions about anything. Ugh.

[ceg045]

mewwy and dwess makes me think of the wedding scene from The Princess Bride.

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Reminds me of Michael Palin as Caesar in Life of Brian:

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[lizziesmom]

Quite frankly, Steve's smothering love for his family is pretty awful. The dog is lucky he didn't love her.

[gustava]

Quite frankly, Steve's smothering love for his family is pretty awful. The dog is lucky he didn't love her.

That's not love; that's control.

[fakepigtails73]

See, my mom told me she loves Jade, but that the love is a little different than how she loves humans. Which is at least understandable but not loving the dog at all?

I would prefer a dog's company to Steve's. Dogs have actually been known to HELP with depression. I think spending a day with Steve would result in... well, bad things.

Agree 10X with this! :clap:

Yup, Steve is an asshole with no heart. What a weird family; I pity these kids. What a boring and joyless life they have.

Heck, even the Pearls laugh sometimes! Granted, some of the stuff that does make them laugh might seem sick to us non-kid beating heathens, but I think that a large family supper at the Pearls is probably more fun than the same type of gathering at the Maxwell. Now that I think of it there probably never is such gatherings at Steve's house...

Suffice to add that I'd never go to a gathering at either of those houses, :lol:

[theologygeek]

I...sometimes can't believe the Maxwells are actually real people. Their lives are just so unbelievably over controlled, sad, and boring, that it seems hard to fathom that they're really out there, day after day, scrubbing cabinets and each eating a single animal cracker and making sure not to wear contrasting buttons.

And it's even more insane to me that any other people have looked at them and been like, "Yes! That's how our family should be." How is it possible that they've been able to make a living off of selling their lifestyle in any way?!

Read this. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201208/dangerous-cult-leaders It has the traits of a cult leader and is written by a former FBI agent. How many fundie men who head "ministries" sound like a lot of traits on this list?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Of the people we read about on this forum, there are sooo many who have red flags for being a narcissist or sociopath, especially fundie patriarchs. Steve Maxwell, Bill Gothard, Michael Pearl....That list is scarily accurate.

I wonder if fundamentalism is appealing to these sort of people because they can run their ministry and/or family like a cult and have ultimate control and twist religion to suit their needs.

[Brittany15]

There are some Fundi families who live the lifestyle they do because they genuinely think they are living the way they should. I really don't think this is true for Steve. I think he became more deeply involved in religion because he saw that he could use religion to control his family and those around him. I don't believe he became more and more religious as his beliefs became stronger, I believe he saw that religion would give him control so he delved deeper in it.

[Dysfundamental]

That book is so terrible. I can't imagine any child enjoying it. Sure, there are things my nephew and goddaughters like that I think are not very well written (Junie B. Jones and Captain Underpants, I'm looking at you!) but I can see what kids get out of them.

This is just so boring. I'd rather read a paper factory's annual report.

I am actually getting depressed thinking about how dreary Sarah Maxwell's life is.

On the "honorific" stuff, I tend to be very formal and call people "Mr. Jones" and "Ms. Smith" in business settings (and use vous in French and Usted in Spanish) but I kind of squirm at being called Ms/Mme/Sra, even though I'm 48.