Zip Lines and Dragons to Save the Creation Museum

[happy atheist]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/0 ... 91857.html

Attendance is down at the Creation Museum. :violin:

But for the past four years, fewer and fewer people have headed to Petersburg, Ky to sit on dinosaur models and watch Adam and Eve canoodle, culminating in a record 10 percent drop in attendance last year.

In order to trick non-idiots into attending, they are adding a bunch of zip lines.

The network of 20 zip lines and 10 sky bridges opens June 20, and is set to be the largest of its kind in the Midwest. The hope is to attract “people who might not be interested in the [museum] but...have zip lines on their bucket lists,” the museum's vice president Mike Zovath told an ABC affiliate.

They're also adding a dragon exhibit, because apparently god made dragons, too!

Zovath insists "the message stays the same...whether it’s bugs, dinosaurs or dragons - it all fits with God's word.”

Who the fuck would pay this kind of money for something so dumb? The kind of people who need two days to take in the Creation Museum, I guess.

Visitors will be able to choose whether to see the museum, the outdoor complex, or both. Ticket options include a $79 opening special for the whole course, and a $99 package that adds in two days at the museum, Zovath wrote.

[laura oz]

:evil-eye: That's the strangest thing I've read in a while. Dragons? What's next, mermaids? As much as I love an adventure like zip lining, having to expose myself to the creation museum would just not be worth it. I think my head would explode.

[infooverload]

At times like this I am so glad I live in the NW. If I want to go on a zip line I can do it in nature and go from tree to tree without having to pay for a museum I would not want to go to.

[Lainey]

Hahahhahahahahahaha! This is freaking hilarious! What better way to say, "we're just making all this shit up" than dragons as part of their exhibits!?

[docmom]

What about teh unicorns???? There are unicorns in the bible! If they can have dragons, they can have unicorns. And seriously $99? I can think of approximately 2 billion things I'd rather spend $99 on.

[BlondeAgent007]

Okay now I really, really wanna go there. A whole museum of snarkfest with Dragons to boot, AND ziplines? Hell to the yes.

[noni alabaster]

Hahahhahahahahahaha! This is freaking hilarious! What better way to say, "we're just making all this shit up" than dragons as part of their exhibits!?

Ken Hamm has seen "Erik the Viking," obviously. Dragons, especially North Sea dragons, have been part of our history for 6,000+ years. I hope he has uncovered Hy-Brasil.

[ThatSnark]

Hahahhahahahahahaha! This is freaking hilarious! What better way to say, "we're just making all this shit up" than dragons as part of their exhibits!?

Then this is really going to send you round the bend: the claim is that the dragons of medieval song and lore were the last of the surviving dinosaurs. They weren't imagined, they were drawn from life-- so you see, dinosaurs DID co-exist with people, but as God gave us better weapons, we defeated the ebil dino-dragons and prevailed as the Chosen Ones. Nice and neat!

Why do I know all of this? Because I confiscated the "science" book my fundie sister-in-law gave my son for Christmas, paged through it, and popped it in the recycling with the wrapping paper, but not before I learned that useful bit of complete nonsense.

[noni alabaster]

I guess that same book also included the fact that no plants were poisonous, and no animals carnivorous, until Adam's fall?

[Lainey]

Okay now I really, really wanna go there. A whole museum of snarkfest with Dragons to boot, AND ziplines? Hell to the yes.

Can I come? But let's sneak in--I'm not pqrting with that much money for those nutters. :mrgreen:

[ThatSnark]

I was so angry I recycled it, but now I kind of wish I'd kept it. Each short chapter had a nauseating Q&A where the correct answer was God/Jesus to most of the questions, and some even had the young reader go Bible-verse chasing to read the Truth! *blech*

Yes, of course the only dangerous form of life on earth was the serpent, until the great fall. There was a lovely fold-out spread of a knight slaying a dragon, juxtaposed with dinosaur bones from a legitimate dig, to show the gullible young reader that the valiant knights were wiping out the last of the dangerous dinosaurs, thus clearing the planet for God's plan to grow the Christian population. See how it all comes together?

Editing to add: no reason you all can't :pull-hair: just like me. You can have one, too! http://www.amazon.com/The-Great-Dinosau ... ewpoints=1

[pirouette]

This post is long and a bit overzealous, for which I apologize. But the takeaway is there are no/almost no dragons in the Old Testament if you don't look in the KJV. Well, the real takeaway is that fact-checking is important, but I don't think the Creation Museum people would grasp that one.

I figured this dragon thing would be pushing it, overemphasizing the existence of Biblical dragons (only ones I knew of were in Revelation, an allegory or something) as a "clever marketing scheme". When I looked it up, I found more than I expected. Maybe Biblical literalists had some material here. But then I remembered these are fundies we're dealing with... and sure enough, I was (accidentally) looking at the results for the KJV. So I conducted a follow-up investigation.

On Biblegateway.com, I looked at every verse in the KJV (not including Revelation) that mentions dragons, along with the same verses in the other four most popular translations in the US (NIV, NLT, New KJV, and ESV.) I figured I'd get some "dragons," but mostly "serpents" or "monsters." What I got was mostly a pack of jackals. :wtf:

A few KJV dragons are translated as "serpent," "sea monster/sea creature/sea serpent," and one or two "dragons." But in over half of the 21 verses, dragons became jackals in all four translations. So I got REALLY curious.

I read a fair amount on the subject, and I think it was reasonably trustworthy, although I have no personal knowledge of Hebrew, Biblical or otherwise. Basically, it all comes from some linguistic confusion about similar Hebrew words that were translated as the same word, although they are most likely different (not to mention debate about what any of the Hebrew words even mean- why dragon over sea monster? No idea.) Even Answers in Genesis concedes that some dragons are jackals. A very minor issue in the grand scheme of life, but maybe not for the strictest KJV-only literalists...

So while I was validated about their stupid dragon exhibit (2-3 verses that questionably might allude to the existence of dragons is a crazy reason to build an exhibit that will probably look like a King Arthur legend and pass it off as truth), this also accidentally became more evidence that the KJV may not be all it's cracked up to be, and oh yeah, CHECK YOUR SOURCES.

At least they can donate the exhibit to Harry Potter World when they go bankrupt.

[happy atheist]

You guys don't seem to understand the gravity of the situation! This is jeopardizing the funding of the Noah's Ark theme park! :lol:

[EyeQueue]

I figured this dragon thing would be pushing it, overemphasizing the existence of Biblical dragons (only ones I knew of were in Revelation, an allegory or something) as a "clever marketing scheme".

I call "Biblical Dragons" as my new band name! :banana-guitar: :character-beavisbutthead:

[littlehouse]

I am pretty sure there is a creation museum here in Alberta. Shudder.

[pirouette]

I call "Biblical Dragons" as my new band name! :banana-guitar: :character-beavisbutthead:

"Imagine Dragons" already exists, and hey, same thing, right? :whistle:

edit: The Biblical dragons, not necessarily everything Biblical. Think whatever you want about the rest.

[EyeQueue]

"Imagine Dragons" already exists, and hey, same thing, right? :whistle:

edit: The Biblical dragons, not necessarily everything Biblical. Think whatever you want about the rest.

Oh, crud. I forgot about them (good band!). :)

[BlondeAgent007]

Can I come? But let's sneak in--I'm not pqrting with that much money for those nutters. :mrgreen:

absolutely! Or better yet we can panhandle start a "go fund me" site or ask for donations for our salvation outside the gate.

[formergothardite]

According to Answers in Genesis Unicorns were totally on the Ark. They really should have done both dragons and unicorns.

[Minerva]

According to Answers in Genesis Unicorns were totally on the Ark. They really should have done both dragons and unicorns.

Maybe if their attendance drops another 10% we'll get to see that. Fingers crossed!

I can't tell whether the zip lines are pure desperation, or yet another sign that even they don't take their own subject matter seriously.

[OkToBeTakei]

When they admit Nessie to the creation museum I'll go. No ark was complete without a Loch Ness Monster. FU unicorns and dragons. :evil-eye:

[thoughtful]

I was so angry I recycled it, but now I kind of wish I'd kept it. Each short chapter had a nauseating Q&A where the correct answer was God/Jesus to most of the questions, and some even had the young reader go Bible-verse chasing to read the Truth! *blech*

Yes, of course the only dangerous form of life on earth was the serpent, until the great fall. There was a lovely fold-out spread of a knight slaying a dragon, juxtaposed with dinosaur bones from a legitimate dig, to show the gullible young reader that the valiant knights were wiping out the last of the dangerous dinosaurs, thus clearing the planet for God's plan to grow the Christian population. See how it all comes together?

Editing to add: no reason you all can't :pull-hair: just like me. You can have one, too! http://www.amazon.com/The-Great-Dinosau ... ewpoints=1

Reading the reviews was fun. I think these people should be on FJ, if the are not here already:

This book is an excellent choice for parents who want to teach their kids that marketing material written by late bronze-age shepherds is the fundamental basis for a science textbook, in fact, for ALL science textbooks. Those kids will be well-prepared for careers in the competitive world of 4th century technology. Should those kids go on to an AP Biology course or, shudder, college, they will have to un-learn the entire contents of this little tome, but no mind: they will understand that their faith rests on contradicting the work of thousands of real scientists over the last hundred years. If the material in this book were correct, the author would be in line for a Nobel prize. Too bad. It is not only grossly misunderstood and misrepresented science, it is also lame theology. This book will appeal to a fraction of poorly-educated literalists who want their kids to follow in their footsteps; enlightened Christians, Catholics who accept evolution, and members of other denominations will want to look elsewhere for explanations of why the dinosaurs are no longer traipsing through the Garden.

I was only a few pages into Paul S. Taylor's "The Great Dinosaur Mystery and the Bible" before I realized that I had stumbled upon one of the most intellectually challenging pieces of non fiction that I have read this year. Mr. Taylor had actually used the juxtaposition of Henry Miller's "Tropic of Cancer" to Mary McCarthy's "The Group" to illustrate how two "dirty, post modern" works of fiction were created by a sort of contemporary Adam and Eve, both of whom, having fallen under the spell of Sodom sans Gomorrah (I could NOT understand that!) decided to elucidate a modern version of the Fall. I could not have disagreed more however Mr. Taylor's logic was impeccable and he was able to weave together a story of such compelling force that I had to stop reading after two pages and take a few deep breaths. I forged on and was rewarded with not only tidbits of magical thought but in some cases downright mother loads of unconventional and seminal thought nuggets. When I read about Jesus being bit by a dinosaur and Mr. Taylor's explanation of why God would allow such a thing to happen I actually had a few tears dribble down my face. Evidently, when Jesus was attacked by three not so wise apatosaurus it was enough to "set God off!" and thereby resulted in the laying of waste to an entire species with several millions well placed lightening bolts. I had to roll my eyes at that because it just didn't seem plausible to me but then Mr. Taylor went on to explain how the lightening changed the molecular structure of the bones so that they would appear to be sixty five million years older than they were. He had me. My mind is much more open now and I feel better in my personal life as well as my non personal life due to this book. The only complaint I really have is Mr. Taylor's contention that hell is exactly 3477 degrees fahrenheit in the summer and, without any explanation or scientific evidence, 20 cooler in the winter. Other than that, excellent read.

[Lainey]

I am pretty sure there is a creation museum here in Alberta. Shudder.

There is, but it's pretty pathetic, judging by the website: bvcsm.com/

It's basically in an old house. Certainly no high-tech animatronic dinosaurs and whatnot like the one in Kentucky! I think they try to offset the facts presented in the Royal Tyrrell Museum. :roll:

absolutely! Or better yet we can panhandle start a "go fund me" site or ask for donations for our salvation outside the gate.

I am IN!!! :cracking-up:

[PennySycamore]

It's not like Kentucky is exactly hurting for ziplines already. There's even one that is completely underground in Louisville. I don't Ohio geography enough to know whether or not it could be something to attract Ohioans.

Ziplines are usually built in places where there's something already scenic; e.g., a forest or the Las Vegas Strip. I don't know anything scenic about the Creation Museum.

ETA: There was a zipline over an inlet in a mountain lake we used to go when I was a kid. It connected two lakehouse properties. The kids would drop down into the lake mid-ride. This was about 45 or 50 years ago.

[Gerialc]

When they admit Nessie to the creation museum I'll go. No ark was complete without a Loch Ness Monster. FU unicorns and dragons. :evil-eye:

I don't see why they shouldn't! :lol: I had a Creationist book in high school that said Nessie might be a plesiosaur. that survived the Flood. Also, I remember hearing that it could have been a plesiosaur that swallowed Jonah. So, Nessie is a totally legit dinosaur who deserves her own place in the scholarly halls of the Creation Museum.