Sunshine Mary is shaming fat women because she cares

[GolightlyGrrl]

Sunshine Mary is so hateful, so toxic, so filled with bitter and bile. And what scares me is she's probably raising children. Her children are being exposed to her hate. I think Sunshine Mary should keep this mash-up in mind.

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[Jezebel]

I'd so accept that book, gracefully. I'd thank her and tell her I'd run out of toilet paper.

My weight fluctuates over time. During my thin phases, I wear a size 8; during my fat phases I wear a 16-18.

I'm in one of my fat phases right now. And if some sanctimonious skinny bitch tried to give me that book, I'd probably look at the cover and say, "How nice for them. But I'm not French."

My mother has always been thin (too thin, IMO, but it's her body, and she doesn't want to hear negative opinions on it any more than I want to hear them about mine, so I STFU about it).

I know exactly how she stays thin, and if I really wanted to occupy a thin body as much as she does? I know exactly how to do it. Problem is, she's okay with the kind of dietary and exercise regimen required, and all the self-denial involved--and I am not. She finds it an acceptable way to live, and is happy with it; my response to it is, "Oh, fuck no."

It took me a long time to make peace with my body, and to feel as good and worthwhile when I was fat as when I was thin. And I've found that when I'm really comfortable in my own skin, it really makes no difference what size I am--I still get treated well, I still attract men, and nothing really changes except the number on the size tags in my clothes. I do have to lose weight if I get too big, but it's the re-emergence of back pain that determines when I'm too damned fat, not my physical appearance.

Sunshinemary, like so many of the people discussed here, is consumed with shame and self-loathing, and terrified of facing the world on its own terms, all by herself. She believes she needs men to protect and provide for her, but since she has so little value as a human being she has to constantly prove that she's worth the bother of protecting and providing for. So she'll do everything she can to maintain the ideal outward appearance (good luck with that as you age, honey), and she'll rant on about the unworthiness of her own sex in order to get headpats from her caretaker and his friends. Which pretty much guarantees that she'll end up with men who despise women as much as she despises herself, who will cheat on her and treat her badly and possibly dump her for a newer model when she gets too old.

She's pitiful, really; what an awful way to spend one's life.

[CorteztheKat]

Wow...Reading Sunshine Mary's blog has made me delurk after about a year skulking in the FJ shadows (hello everyone btw, big fan of your work etc!).

Sorry if its already up somewhere in the SOTDFT and I've missed it but would someone mind directing me to a bio of Mary if there is one? She seems so full of hatred, and a lot of it must be directed at herself, that I'm intrigued about her background. She doesn't seem as fundie as the people that normally get snarked on so I have no idea how she developed all that misogyny.

[weirdghostboo]

Well, my parents have been married for nearly 22 years--and neither are them are what society considers to be an acceptable weight. Clearly, my dad had to have been cheating on my mum for all those years. :roll:

[FreeJosie]

I just read the comments section. Some of Sunshine's groupies are more misogynistic than she is. A woman named Hannah posted:

Hannah also posted:

I cannot believe the gall of this woman, handing out books to people who don't meet her standard of physical attractiveness. :shock:

[Guest Anonymous]

I just read the comments section. Some of Sunshine's groupies are more misogynistic than she is. A woman named Hannah posted:

OT: I own this book. I bought it when I was 19 and dangerously underweight (there's nothing wrong with being slim but my weight was unhealthy) and was sure that I was fat (which I saw as a bad thing). It is not a good book. It's one of those books that shames you into changing your diet by making you feel unsophisticated. It takes really boring, limited recipes and tries to convince you that they are indulgent and luxurious. It's something like: "Isn't sweet chocolate disgusting? All French women think so! Obviously, you would rather have some unsweetened cocoa powder and a slice of bread. Mmm, very French!"

[Anxious Girl]

Didn't Jesus say something about not judging others? How Christ-like this woman is! :roll:

[Mice]

She's pitiful, really; what an awful way to spend one's life.

You know, as I sit here with my great big ole self and my baby chewed breasts and my not blond hair, I can't quite bring myself to mourn for the slim young thing I used to be. But I do mourn for S.M. What sad, wasted, hate filled life. That is one heck of a lot of backhanded bitterness in a single blog.

[Claddagh]

For someone who claims to be "sunshine" she sure is hateful. She fails to realize some people have medical conditions that can cause weight loss to be very difficult. Sometimes medications can cause weight gain.

"Sunshine" Mary can kiss my size 16 fat ass.

[AVENues]

You know, as I sit here with my great big ole self and my baby chewed breasts and my not blond hair, I can't quite bring myself to mourn for the slim young thing I used to be. But I do mourn for S.M. What sad, wasted, hate filled life. That is one heck of a lot of backhanded bitterness in a single blog.

to

My dirty little brain autocorrected the bolded part to sadomasochism while I read it. :lol: Well, looking at her mental and emotional state, I say it was a little Freudian slip.

[snuggles911]

Wow...Reading Sunshine Mary's blog has made me delurk after about a year skulking in the FJ shadows (hello everyone btw, big fan of your work etc!).

Sorry if its already up somewhere in the SOTDFT and I've missed it but would someone mind directing me to a bio of Mary if there is one? She seems so full of hatred, and a lot of it must be directed at herself, that I'm intrigued about her background. She doesn't seem as fundie as the people that normally get snarked on so I have no idea how she developed all that misogyny.

She has a brief bio on her blog: sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com. She became my fundie obsession last year when I discovered her now-defunct blog, the woman and the dragon.

According to her posts, she used to be a feminist, which is ironic since she now writes an anti-feminist blog. She is well educated and holds two masters degrees from the University of Michigan. She was baptized in the Catholic church, but didn't attend Mass growing up and didn't become a Christian until age 30.

Soon afterward, she discovered that her husband, who she refers to as Holy Hand Grenade, had cheated 30 times. She began praying over his shoes, cell phone and other personal items and wrote scripture verses on his pillow until he converted to Christianity a few years later.

Holy Hand Grenade stopped cheating but their sex life was awful and their marriage was on the rocks. Then, one night when she wanted to have sex, he told her that she had to drop to her knees and beg for it---and she did just that.

Suddenly, a light bulb went on in her head. She realized that a Patriarchal marriage where the wife is always submissive and obeys her husband is the key to a happy marriage and keeping your husband faithful.

She started visiting the Vision Forum website and appears to be highly influenced by their beliefs. She and her husband --- who appears to not be as serious about his Christianity other than the submission part --- attend a mega church in Michigan and Sunshine once wrote a post slamming the pastor for not preaching strongly enough about how women need to submit. She'd probably switch to a more fundie church, but Holy Hand Grenade wants to stay put so they're trying to get their fellow congregants there to see the light about the benefits of Patriarchy.

She posted some crazy stuff on her old blog including a call to repeal the 19th amendment. Someone on FJ reposted it here and Sunshine showed up here to defend her belief that women are too emotional to vote and that we vote for candidates based on their looks. When she couldn't provide an intelligent argument, she flounced.

She later deleted the blog when someone revealed her real-life name, but resurrected it under its new name a few months later. She writes about how feminism is an evil plot to usurp men and how women must be attractive, thin and under 30 if they want to attract a husband.

As someone who left the fundie culture, Sunshine fascinates me. I'd love to base a character in a Lifetime movie on her. I'm not a therapist, but I would guess that her husband's infidelity caused her to snap emotionally and the hatred she feels toward the women he slept with has led her to have misogynistic feelings about all women. Her adherence to Patriarchal Christianity provides a good soapbox from which to preach her message.

[onlyorganic]

Is that an actual Christian blog? I only ask because that was one of the most heartless and ignorant rants I've ever read.

[lawlifelgbt]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry about this post. Because of several factors (her genetics, my workout routine, and my being extremely short while she's tall for a woman), my fiancee weighs literally twice what I do. She's a size 20/22, and I don't give a flying fuck. She's fat (is even comfortable calling herself that), and I love her. Still beautiful! Shaming fat people doesn't accomplish anything. I'm glad she's making efforts to work out more, but I don't love her any less because she doesn't look like me. She's no "drunken roll in the hay." And JFYI, I'm female too, so I would tend to be shallower than a man, so if I can love her, why couldn't a man love someone fat?

[curlytoes79]

Can we start calling her Shitstain Mary? The whole "Sunshine" thing isn't working for me...

[Ampak]

Sunshine Mary has a new thread today about gluttony in which she attempts to shame fat women because she cares about them: /sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2013/05/24/pride-and-gluttony

She sees the fat acceptance movement as an evil feminist ploy to "uglify" American women:

You see, fat women are sinners:

When commenters suggested that fat shaming isn't such a good idea, Sunshine insisted she's only trying to help women attract men:

Wow. Just wow. That's just the type of encouragement my overweight girlfriends need. :angry-banghead:

Oh, look! She's a concern troll.

[moodygirl86]

Oh, look! She's a concern troll.

If Shitstain Moron was really concerned about people's wellbeing - whether that's for health or vanity reasons - she wouldn't be bullying them. Because stress is counterproductive to achieving any goal, and no matter how much somebody wants to lose weight, nagging them won't help them do it any quicker.

[CorteztheKat]

She has a brief bio on her blog: sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com. She became my fundie obsession last year when I discovered her now-defunct blog, the woman and the dragon.

According to her posts, she used to be a feminist, which is ironic since she now writes an anti-feminist blog. She is well educated and holds two masters degrees from the University of Michigan. She was baptized in the Catholic church, but didn't attend Mass growing up and didn't become a Christian until age 30.

Soon afterward, she discovered that her husband, who she refers to as Holy Hand Grenade, had cheated 30 times. She began praying over his shoes, cell phone and other personal items and wrote scripture verses on his pillow until he converted to Christianity a few years later.

Holy Hand Grenade stopped cheating but their sex life was awful and their marriage was on the rocks. Then, one night when she wanted to have sex, he told her that she had to drop to her knees and beg for it---and she did just that.

Suddenly, a light bulb went on in her head. She realized that a Patriarchal marriage where the wife is always submissive and obeys her husband is the key to a happy marriage and keeping your husband faithful.

She started visiting the Vision Forum website and appears to be highly influenced by their beliefs. She and her husband --- who appears to not be as serious about his Christianity other than the submission part --- attend a mega church in Michigan and Sunshine once wrote a post slamming the pastor for not preaching strongly enough about how women need to submit. She'd probably switch to a more fundie church, but Holy Hand Grenade wants to stay put so they're trying to get their fellow congregants there to see the light about the benefits of Patriarchy.

She posted some crazy stuff on her old blog including a call to repeal the 19th amendment. Someone on FJ reposted it here and Sunshine showed up here to defend her belief that women are too emotional to vote and that we vote for candidates based on their looks. When she couldn't provide an intelligent argument, she flounced.

She later deleted the blog when someone revealed her real-life name, but resurrected it under its new name a few months later. She writes about how feminism is an evil plot to usurp men and how women must be attractive, thin and under 30 if they want to attract a husband.

As someone who left the fundie culture, Sunshine fascinates me. I'd love to base a character in a Lifetime movie on her. I'm not a therapist, but I would guess that her husband's infidelity caused her to snap emotionally and the hatred she feels toward the women he slept with has led her to have misogynistic feelings about all women. Her adherence to Patriarchal Christianity provides a good soapbox from which to preach her message.

Thank you. That explains quite a lot. I almost feel sorry for her. Although despite being so thin and beautiful, she still had to beg for sex from her husband. It's not a problem I've ever heard about from the non-submissive women I know. I wonder how she explains that.

[AVENues]

Shitstain Mary it is.

[Muriel]

OT: I own this book. I bought it when I was 19 and dangerously underweight (there's nothing wrong with being slim but my weight was unhealthy) and was sure that I was fat (which I saw as a bad thing). It is not a good book. It's one of those books that shames you into changing your diet by making you feel unsophisticated. It takes really boring, limited recipes and tries to convince you that they are indulgent and luxurious. It's something like: "Isn't sweet chocolate disgusting? All French women think so! Obviously, you would rather have some unsweetened cocoa powder and a slice of bread. Mmm, very French!"

This book is full of cr*p :evil:

I'm French, always have been, and no, we don't always stay slim :cry:

The average size for a middle-aged French woman is a size 42/44, which is an American size 12/14. It's not a plus size, but not a skinny one either.

The lady who wrote this book used to live in Paris, in the upper class where everybody is rich and fit because of the high-end lifestyle !

The vast majority of French women don't live like that, and no I have never ever ate a piece of bread topped with unsweetened cocoa powder (is she crazy?).

Of course we love to cook, it's cultural, but what we cook is not diet food, our traditional cuisine is quite rich in fat :lol:

Maybe we are more active than some Americans because we walk a lot and we definitely eat smaller portions (have been in the US several times and yes, in restaurants, the portions are huge), but we are normal people, living normal lives, what she describes is very far from the average French life...

[tanksmom]

Well as long as she is only being ignorant because she cares I guess that makes it ok, em I rite? Shitstain Mary, I am the woman that you hate. I am the woman that is happy with her life, happy with her husband, have a good job & life. I am overweight as is my husband. I have never had to beg for sex (unless it was a role playing game) and if hubby tells me he's too tired for sex I can take care of myself. I have a brain that hubby isn't afraid for me to use and in my job I tell menfolk what to do. Hey some of them even bring me coffee!

All in all I would much rather be the person living a wonderful life that you tell me should suck than you.

[loulou]

My God. That woman and her blog are absolutely VILE. I just spent 1/2 an hour reading through some of her crap.

People like that shouldn't be allowed to even call themselves Christians.

Shitstain Mary it is. And that's the nicest thing I could think of to call her.

[meda]

This woman's life is so pathetic that I find it hard to get all that angry about her. She's married to a serial adulterer who emotionally abuses her and makes her beg for sex. She lacks the character to leave him and/or demand that he change, so she takes all that anger and misery and projects it out towards other women.

Every time she interacts with a woman who is happy, or in a functional relationship, or comfortable with her body, it must be such a slap in the face to her. Another reminder of what life could be like.

[Angharad Crewe]

Can we call her husband Holy Hand Job?

[NoneandDoneinCali]

I wonder if Shitstain and HHG are actually into BDSM and don't want to admit to it? Consequently, they have this HUGE facade of Christianity to justify their sex lives, so they don't have to accept they are just the same dirty sinners that the rest of us are. I mean, I think most sexually active people have, at one time or another, done (or at least attempted) a little consensual power play. It's not abnormal, it's not a sin, and for most people it doesn't leave the bedroom. What IS abnormal is to build an entire lifestyle around it to justify your kink. Pathetic.

[snuggles911]

I just looked at the comments section of her post ---- sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2013/05/24/pride-and-gluttony/---- and it turns out that it's pissed a lot of people off, including the woman who took the images Sunshine posted without permission. This is what the photographer, Substantia Jones, had to say:

Hello, Ms. Sunshine. I’m the founder of and photographer for The Adipositivity Project, an all-volunteer nonprofit photo campaign promoting well-being through positive body image and acceptance of others who may not look like we do. Some of your readers have notified me that you’re unlawfully using a copyrighted photo (the woman with the cat, marked “adipositivity.comâ€) which is owned by me, and further, that you’re using it for the purpose of advancing your message of sizeism, misogyny, and misinformation. I’m no theologian, but I’m pretty sure bigotry, hate, and dishonesty are not Christian values. If my photo is not removed within 24 hours I’ll be filing a DCMA cease order against you and will also report the theft to WordPress, as it’s a violation of your agreement with them. I expect you’ll also be hearing from God.

If you or your readers would care to learn more about human variation and the science behind health at every size, I urge you to visit https://www.sizediversityandhealth.org/ ... asp?id=161.

Sunshine took the image down and then lectured the photographer about how she was only trying to help fat women avoid becoming lonely old spinsters. Some people never learn. Talk about a lack of humility. :angry-banghead: