Lori Alexander on women leaders

[lilwriter85]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/04/more-women-leaders.html

Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, recently said, "Our world would be a better world if half of the companies were run by women."

Let me start out post by saying I have known some AMAZING women in leadership positions. Two of my favorite principals were women. One of them was the principal of our local elementary school.

One time, when Ryan and his buddy were about ten years old they were being bullied by some boys. This principal took those bullies into her office along with Ryan and his friend and gave it to those bullies so badly that she even pounded on her desk so hard it made a dent in it. Bullying was not going to be allowed under her watch. Those bullies never bothered Ryan and Eric again.

The other principal was amazing also. Both were extremely intelligent and hard working women. I loved them professionally and personally but their private lives absolutely suffered.

Do I think a woman could be a good president? Yes. Margaret Thatcher was an amazing woman but her family suffered as a result. Being in a leadership position takes a ton of time away from home and energy. Something has to give and it is usually the family.

Why Mrs. Sandberg thinks this world would be a better place with half of all companies being run by women is beyond me? So many more marriages and families would suffer and families are the bedrock of our society. She encourages women to keep climbing the corporate ladder as long as they can.

As you know, I give the opposite advice. If you are going to have a career, find one that is completely compatible with being a wife and full-time mommy if that is what you want to do someday. In other words, have a job or career you can quit easily without the burden of debt.

There are many men who have been great leaders and are leaders today. Families need someone at home keeping the home fire's burning. I don't see any advantages only negatives to having a lot of women in leadership positions in society. All throughout the Bible, it was mostly men who were the leaders and I am absolutely fine with mostly men being leaders.

Of course, Lori has to assume Margaret Thatcher's family suffered. Lori is a bitch to say that marriages and families suffer, maybe some do, but not all.

[GeoBQn]

She insists that the private lives of these women principals "absolutely suffered," but provides no evidence of it. Did she ever actually ask them?

I just have a hard time finding anywhere in the Bible where instructions to women are to go out and be leaders or have a career away from home...

I asked about Miriam and Deborah, but I doubt she will post the comment.

[julie paradox]

to be fair, Carol and Mark Thatcher aren't people I'd want my children to emulate.

But then, neither was their mother ;-)

[DaffyDill]

And she wouldn't even comprehend those dads who choose to stay home with the children!

I cannot stand her limited, narrow minded, sanctimonious crap. She is such a judgemental cow.

[Hane]

She reminds me of something my ex-MIL said: She made the sweeping statement that, "When a wife gets a job, something ALWAYS suffers." (She also said that she cleaned her house from stem to stern every day, because she HAD to. She also, after washing, drying, and folding them, wrapped her towels and washcloths in Saran wrap before putting them away.) Meanwhile, I was the one with the steady job, while her son kept getting laid off (probably because he was a PITA).

She had an enormous superiority complex. She used to regale us with stories about how she quit a job and expected the company to collapse after she left (translation: she couldn't stand to have anyone tell her what to do). She mentioned that her neighbors had attended an acquaintance's funeral without her, and explained that this was because "they know I'm better than they are."

She and Lori would have gotten along like a house on fire.

Oh, and what about those studies that indicate that companies run by women are financially healthier on average?

[Koala]

The Lord has laid it on my heart to mentor Lori. She is spending too much time blathering away on her blog (you know how women talk too much) and it is time for her to return to her family (lord knows how they've suffered in her absence) and be the keeper of the ironing board as God intended her to be. When women blog, the family suffers. Lady Lydia has a helpful list of godly household chores that Lori can do in her free time. God's ways are always best, and God didn't say anything about keeping the interwebz! He said to keep the home. And SUMBIT!

[idonthaveajname]

My children suffered when I was a SAHM. I was miserable. I needed adult conversation, I needed the mental stimulation that came from my work, and I needed to earn money. I was not okay.

I hate broad generalizations about either side of this debate. I really, really do.

[Koala]

My children suffered when I was a SAHM. I was miserable. I needed adult conversation, I needed the mental stimulation that came from my work, and I needed to earn money. I was not okay.

I hate broad generalizations about either side of this debate. I really, really do.

That is such a great point! I think some people (read moms OR dads) are just "made" for the sah lifestyle. Others? Not so much.

Why Lori has to shove ALL women into a cookie cutter I will never know.

[lilwriter85]

That is such a great point! I think some people (read moms OR dads) are just "made" for the sah lifestyle. Others? Not so much.

Why Lori has to shove ALL women into a cookie cutter I will never know.

Don't you know God commanded her to do so.

[salex]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/04/more-women-leaders.html

Of course, Lori has to assume Margaret Thatcher's family suffered. Lori is a bitch to say that marriages and families suffer, maybe some do, but not all.

I would suggest that the families (spouses and children still living in the home) of virtually all prime ministers or presidents or dictators or kings suffer from either a husband/father or wife/mother being it that level of office. There are benefits that offset the negatives, however, jobs at theis level do not lend themselves to what most middle class people like Lori think of as "normal." And her view of normal seems to be her prescription for everyone to shoot for--a very specific view of "home fires burning." When we believed we would have children, and my husband's travel schedule (and mine) showed no signs of letting up, we were researching the idea of a "governess" type nanny-- probably someone who had a degree in early childhood development or, later, elementary education, to "hotel school" our anticipated children so that we could travel for work with children. Said children never materialized, but we seriously examined a customized lifestyle that Lori could not likely ever imagine.

I know men and women who have declined promotions or job moves because their family situations. Some people avoid jobs with long hours, a lot of travel, certain levels of responsibility, because they can't/won't balance these things with their family. That is their choice, but it is no more valid than the choice made by those who do in fact choose to create a happy stable family in ways that seem alien to Lori.

[alba]

I think Ms Sandberg has a point here; if half the companies were run by women it would show that the glass ceiling has well and truly been shattered, and in fields like entertainment media we'd be subjected to less of the male gaze and default-cis-hetero-male characterisation.

[Kitty]

I think Ms Sandberg has a point here; if half the companies were run by women it would show that the glass ceiling has well and truly been shattered, and in fields like entertainment media we'd be subjected to less of the male gaze and default-cis-hetero-male characterisation.

This is exactly what I was going to say.

But of course Lori has to assume that the family is going to suffer. But men always have the option of staying home... oh right, that probably makes Baby Jesus cry.

[HoneyBunny]

I've long thought that the world would be a MUCH better place if women ran everything. There would be no wars (no mother would send their children to die), eliminating the need for defense and freeing up huge amounts of money for things like health care and education. Within one or two generations, kumbaya would reign supreme.

What I'll never understand are people who claim men are better suited to be leaders. Men have been leaders since the start of time. Things really aren't that great. Perhaps it's time to bring in players from the bench?

[alba]

I've long thought that the world would be a MUCH better place if women ran everything. There would be no wars (no mother would send their children to die), eliminating the need for defense and freeing up huge amounts of money for things like health care and education. Within one or two generations, kumbaya would reign supreme.

What I'll never understand are people who claim men are better suited to be leaders. Men have been leaders since the start of time. Things really aren't that great. Perhaps it's time to bring in players from the bench?

a) Not all women are mothers. Besides, if women being in power means there'd be no war because women wouldn't send their children to die, then that follows that men are perfectly happy to send *their* children to die, which I think is a huge generalisation.

b) Margaret Thatcher was the British Prime Minister during the Falklands War. Mary Tudor of England didn't start any wars, but she executed lots of Protestants. Then her little sister, Elizabeth, executed their cousin Mary, Queen of Scots, because *she* tried to lead a revolution against Elizabeth. The only reason there are fewer examples of women being in charge of conflicts is because there are fewer examples of women being in charge.

[burntnorton]

I've long thought that the world would be a MUCH better place if women ran everything. There would be no wars (no mother would send their children to die), eliminating the need for defense and freeing up huge amounts of money for things like health care and education. Within one or two generations, kumbaya would reign supreme.

What I'll never understand are people who claim men are better suited to be leaders. Men have been leaders since the start of time. Things really aren't that great. Perhaps it's time to bring in players from the bench?

Meh. Women can be pretty bloodthirsty. In mu experience, women leaders aren't inherently better than men. On average they have sifferent strengths and weaknesses, but the overall quality is pretty much the same. Gender balance is more important and healthier than one gender dominating. I've worked in female dominated offices where the combined effect of all the "feminine" consensus building meant that things were impossible to get done, all sorta of passive aggressive barriers were thrown up to prevent things jappening because women didnt feel comfortable fighting openly for their position, and failure to include all sorts if superfluous or circumlocutious language in an email couldnt warrant a closed door counseling sesssion with HR. Environments that are male dominated, on the other hand, are unhealthy in a whole different way. The abuse and bullying are more openly aggressive, compromise is difficult because it's seen as weakness, and women constantly have to prove themselves worthy. Basically, we all suck and need each other to keep everything from degenerating into an unrelenting pit of misery.

[desertvixen]

All throughout the Bible, it was mostly men who were the leaders and I am absolutely fine with mostly men being leaders.

That's good to know. Lori is absolutely fine with mostly men being leaders. Unfortunately for her, other people get a vote, and many of us are not fine with it.

Also, just maybe, if more women were leaders and we weren't all trying to play this game under the rules largely set by men who had wives who stayed home and did all the stuff related to the home, success and work wouldn't require all that sacrifice and stress on one's family life. I'm all about working hard, but I always think of the colonel I worked for when I was deployed who gave us each one day a week that was our "off day" (barring emergency at work) because he realized if we had that one day with flexibility, we could work much better on the other 6 days.

[Freyacat]

Lori's brain would explode if she met a couple families I know where mom is the main breadwinner and dad works part time or stays home. Sure, it's not super common, but it's absolutely possible, and actually all of the stay home dads I have ever met have been pretty awesome.

I am not a fan at all of Sheryl Sandberg and the "lean in" business, but Lori's reasons for feeling that way are way off base.

[Arete]

David was an adulterer par excellence, Solomon lost control of his harem, Herod Agrippa was a sociopath, Peter was a bully, Paul was a jerk......and those are the ones that immediately come to mind. If I actually cracked the text open for a few hours, I am sure I could find more illustrious examples of male leadership in the Bible.

So, Lori? :disgust:

[snarkyjan]

David was an adulterer par excellence, Solomon lost control of his harem, Herod Agrippa was a sociopath, Peter was a bully, Paul was a jerk......and those are the ones that immediately come to mind. If I actually cracked the text open for a few hours, I am sure I could find more illustrious examples of male leadership in the Bible.

So, Lori? :disgust:

Don't forget God himself, who persecuted Job to win a bar bet with Satan, and Jephthah, who killed his own daughter because the idiot had pledged himself to sacrifice the first person he saw if he won a battle. Also Abraham, who did the nasty with his wife's lady's maid, then threw the resulting child and his mother under the bus (donkey?).

[Wolfie]

full-time mommy

Really? She tries to write an educated post and uses "mommy?"

[jenny_islander]

That is such a great point! I think some people (read moms OR dads) are just "made" for the sah lifestyle. Others? Not so much.

Why Lori has to shove ALL women into a cookie cutter I will never know.

From the time I got my first job at 14 until I quit my last full-time job at 33, I was continually trying to do what I thought I ought to do: become somebody's high-powered well-paid secretary. I hated it even though I thought I was bettering myself. Life as a SAHM with a part-time job is no picnic, but I am definitely mentally better off.

Meanwhile, my SIL tried to be a SAHM with a home medical transcription business and began to dread the sound of her own children's voices. She loved them all, but being around them all day long drove her nucking futs. She put the kids in day care, got a full-time job outside the home, and is now a manager with years of seniority. And her kids all love their mom and like to hang out with her when they are in town.