Close Encounters of the Fundie Kind

[patsymae]

"I've always thought that if you did blind Bible naming for your kids, the chances of winding up with outlandish names (especially for boys) must be pretty high. I mean, the begats alone provide so many unfortunate options."

I once worked with a woman whose family used that method. Her name was Bridal Veil.

[Samsonkcp]

I'm an occasional lurker who grew up in the world wide church of god (so according to google I'm a former cult member's child). I guess I am my own first sighting :D

I think I may have had a fundy encounter or...... Something else?

My children were invited to a local church's Easter program by their piano teacher, who would be singing in the program. We walked in and were greeted and informed "the children's activities are around the corner, down the stairs". We said "no thanks", headed towards the auditorium, and were stopped every ten feet by another helpful volunteer about the lovely children's program. Upon hearing we weren't interested some would bend down to tell my kids, again, because they must not have heard the nice man announcing there was candy and bouncy house for the taking if they just followed the strange man away. We explained the kids had been invited to see a friend perform and that was why they had come. We were offered/remined of the children's program 8 more times including once when I politely refused and the volunteer turned and offered it to my husband- who had is arm wrapped around my back- no mistaking us for not being together.

After we fought our way past the kid wranglers, we sat, shooed away 2 more kid wranglers, and watched 3/4 of the show when the lights came up and the preacher stepped out and spent 20 minutes attempting make us see the light. He even tried to appease our souls by announcing it was ok if we were already members of another church- they would accept us ANYWAY. My 1yo lost it 2 minutes into the conversion so I took him out with the 4 yo and left the bigger girls with their dad (and an iPad to entertain themselves). I got to hear it all via speakers in the narthex.

I'm not sure what they had in mind, but as we left my 9yo asked "why do these people hate kids so much?"

I still can't figure this out- the whole captive by social conventions conversion and ignoring a wife's decision thing seems awfully fundy but these people were dressed normally, and what is with the removing kids from the family at what was advertised as a family friendly event? Weird

[Anny Nym]

Wen I was 10 and 1st grade in Middle School,I had an female religious education teacher, who once wrote "Männer können denken, werden aber daran gehindert und Frauen können nicht selbst denken." ("Men are able do think, but are discouraged to do so and women aren´t able do think for themselves.") on the chalkboard to kick off a lecture about the difference in menfolk and womenfolk that was at least VisionForum-worthy.

She was already known to be pretty crazy before, for example she told us if we would get caught in an snowslide on school ski week, we shouldn´t be scared because when we would die we would go to heaven anyway.

She got suspended shortly afterwards, but as she just lives next town I know she´s still teaching at a Private Elemantary School

[Flossie]

Wen I was 10 and 1st grade in Middle School,I had an female religious education teacher, who once wrote "Männer können denken, werden aber daran gehindert und Frauen können nicht selbst denken." ("Men are able do think, but are discouraged to do so and women aren´t able do think for themselves.") on the chalkboard to kick off a lecture about the difference in menfolk and womenfolk that was at least VisionForum-worthy.

She was already known to be pretty crazy before, for example she told us if we would get caught in an snowslide on school ski week, we shouldn´t be scared because when we would die we would go to heaven anyway.

She got suspended shortly afterwards, but as she just lives next town I know she´s still teaching at a Private Elemantary School

She obviously wasn't a good teacher.

[snackle]

Do you count waiting at the baggage carousel next to Ted Haggard in DFW? :)

A few weeks ago I was on vacation in Tasmania, and we toured some fabulous caves. There was a van of *only* 5 kids, the mom and daughter in long denim skirts. When we got to the tour start I overheard mom saying something about how some people don't go to church because they don't like rules (the partner and I are atheists), so I tried to eavesdrop more, but they shut up.

On the tour I asked questions about the age of the caves (millions? billions?) and the evolutionary relatives of the gloworms. My first degree is in biology, and a relative of mine actually does study caves, so these were legit interests of mine, but I can't help but admit I was prodding. Actually, before the tour, before they joined us, the H and I were strategizing questions.

I did actually find out who they were because I was really hoping she had a helpmeet blog where she talked about the evil lies of evolution and millions of years with perhaps a nod my direction. But, alas, a fundie missionary's wife (they're Americans who church planted or something) without a blog. Can you believe it? ***** and ***** ********** if anyone has better google-fu than I.

I have a number of fundie-lite friends, and I visited one while she was teaching at a missionary school in Malawi. My friend knew all about my liberal non-believing views, but I was under cover the rest of the time. I was introduced to the CEO of the Navigators which was apparently a Big Deal. Of course, I'd never heard of this org and asked about it. It's only one of the biggest missionary orgs, out of Co Springs. I was bad at being undercover. That was just one of my many snafus where I obviously was an outsider.

[copper]

Was at Chicago O'Hare yesterday and saw a fundie couple walk by. Young, no kids. She was wearing a long denim skirt and had long (to the boot-ay) and poorly-kept hair pulled back in a pony-tail.

As they were walking along they weren't just holding hands--she had her arm through his and was right up on him, *hanging*, as the walked through the airport. My guess is that they were a.) on their honeymoon, and therefore engaging in the disgustingly overboard PDA that takes place after a fundy wedding or b.) it was their first time in an airport and they were terrified or c.) they were there to have a lesson about the defrauding clothes of women a 'la Steve Maxwell.

Probably all three.

[splork]

Zion national park. FLDS family having a picnic. Part of the park is closed to traffic without a special permit (park employee or staying at the lodge there) and most people get around on the park shuttle system. That family had driven right in. Does one of them work there? Do they just not recognize the power of the Federal Government to keep them from driving where they wanna? I wish I knew! The Germans I was with were totally stoked when I pointed them out. They thought the ladies in the prairie dresses were just part of some old timey days re-enactment or something.

[Chavymishmacoy]

I know a young woman in her early twenties who grew up two by two's. She is VERY messed up. Her dad is in the construction business and had done very well financially, so they were real hypocrites. TV is ebil but went to the movies regularly. Long skirts and hair, and owned tanning beds, and the mom got botox done regularly, and wore jeans when nobody else was around. If this girl wore makeup her dad would tell her she looked like a whore. Crazy stuff.

[MamaJunebug]

I know a young woman in her early twenties who grew up two by two's. She is VERY messed up. Her dad is in the construction business and had done very well financially, so they were real hypocrites. TV is ebil but went to the movies regularly. Long skirts and hair, and owned tanning beds, and the mom got botox done regularly, and wore jeans when nobody else was around. If this girl wore makeup her dad would tell her she looked like a whore. Crazy stuff.

Forgive my density -- what means "grew up two by twos"?

TIA, MJB the Uncomprehending

[greentree31]

Samsonkcp, what denomination was the the church you visited? I used to attend a Calvary Chapel, a denomination infamous for not allowing children to attend the main service with the adults. Once I attended a Sunday service where the pastor stopped the service because a baby was crying and ordered the mom to take the baby out of the service. The crying was not very loud and as far as I could tell, no one seemed distracted by it.

On an occasion unrelated to the one above, the pastor apologized for reprimanding another parent during the prior week's service regarding another crying baby.

This pastor was such an asshat, not only did he humiliate the parents in front of the entire congregation, the services were broadcast live on the radio, so the listeners also heard him too.

This asshat was the parent of four grown children--you would think he would have had a little more empathy, so much for Christian love.

[RachelB]

Forgive my density -- what means "grew up two by twos"?

TIA, MJB the Uncomprehending

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_by_Twos

[jtd]

*waves hello*

First ever post here, and not my sighting, but they're popping up in UK university towns (US bible colleges must have finished for the summer).

A friend of mine in Cambridge saw them at lunchtime a few days ago doing general very loud street preaching. The rumour is that the Master of Magdalene College came out to tell them to shut up because he had students sitting finals inside.

The Master is Rowan Williams, former Archbishop of Canterbury.

Not a good sign when the former head of the Anglican communion tells you to tone it down!

[salsa]

They were actually quite a nice family, but it's unusual to see toddler girls in hajib. Four children under about the age of 6 or, maybe a young-looking 7, 3 girls in hajib (the kind that's like a hood that hugs around the face and hangs over the shoulders, including the front of the neck) and a baby boy. Dad wasn't with them, but mother wore the hajib plus the face veil, with only the eyes showing through a slit. not a burqa, but still fully covered, including wearing all-black and a covering that flowed from her head to the floor, and wearing gloves on an 80+ degree day.

When I overheard the mom talking to the cashier in the grocery store where we were standing in line, I learned they relied on food stamps. If they were Christians, I'd have been pissed off but I really wasn't. (I admit to a little American attitude of "quit having babies you can't afford to feed" or "quit being so rigid in your beliefs and get a job" but it was mild, at best. )

Why was I more tolerant? Is it because the middle girl and I kind of bonded as we stood in line? or maybe I'm not pissed because Muslims aren't trying to impose their beliefs on the rest of us while simultaneously using the governmental system when they need it. ... don't know.

And maybe I'm so liberal in my acceptance of peoples' differences that I might as well be as racist, xenophobic, and Islamophobic, as the fundies we follow.

In any case, I thought of this thread when I saw them.

[snackle]

Watching Polygamy USA reminded me that in a suburban Phoenix Costco I saw some most likely FLDS members. Prairie garb, one adult man, 3 adult women, a handful of small kiddos. When we walked by, the other half whispered in my ear "3 inches closer to heaven," which is what we call that particular hairstyle, and I nearly lost it.

Related to the earlier discussion of mennonite/amish. A good friend of mine is mennonite, totally the plain clothes wearing kind where you'd never know unless you asked, who's a Stoltzfus. Her grandfather was a Yoder who was killed out of his old order because he started refusing to wear a beard. She still goes back to Lancaster to visit relatives.

Once there was a mennonite with the garb and bonnet seated next to me on a flight. Teenage or early 20s girl. The poor thing had to endure all these questions from the guy next to her. She was polite and patient, but I was struggling to resist the urge to tell him to stfu and quit prying.

[Swamptribe]

Had a cute overload 'fundie' encounter. An Mennonite or Amish woman and her barely out of toddlehood son came into the store. She was browsing in one section, he was looking at children's books (small store). The little guy kept yelling "Momma", then running across the store to give her a persuasive argument about why they should get this particular book and take it home. No whining, just a reasoned argument for a two to three year olds perspective. Momma would patiently tell him they had one like that at home already. The little guy did this several times, and I had to really struggle to keep myself from cracking up. Complimented his Mom on what a wonderful reader and articulate little guy she had.

[paganhomeschooler]

I love little Amish kids! They are too cute! :-) Actually, they were probably Mennonite if they were speaking English. Amish kids don't usually speak English until they start school. I have picked up Amish outfits before for my kids. My 2nd daughter could completely pass for Amish all dressed up in the garb. My grandma's Amish friend got the biggest kick out of seeing her all dressed up! lol

[GatoRojo]

*waves hello*

First ever post here, and not my sighting, but they're popping up in UK university towns (US bible colleges must have finished for the summer).

A friend of mine in Cambridge saw them at lunchtime a few days ago doing general very loud street preaching. The rumour is that the Master of Magdalene College came out to tell them to shut up because he had students sitting finals inside.

The Master is Rowan Williams, former Archbishop of Canterbury.

Not a good sign when the former head of the Anglican communion tells you to tone it down!

There are fundies in cambridge? Where can I find them?! *going on a fundie hunt...*

[ladyaudley]

We've had a crop of evangelical street preachers on the big shopping street here in the last few weeks. I've never had the time to stop and listen, but they are quite insistent and are usually being heckled by students ( we have three universities and a variety of colleges in town). I plan to go back for a scoop at the fundie madness!

[Ampak]

They were actually quite a nice family, but it's unusual to see toddler girls in hajib. Four children under about the age of 6 or, maybe a young-looking 7, 3 girls in hajib (the kind that's like a hood that hugs around the face and hangs over the shoulders, including the front of the neck) and a baby boy. Dad wasn't with them, but mother wore the hajib plus the face veil, with only the eyes showing through a slit. not a burqa, but still fully covered, including wearing all-black and a covering that flowed from her head to the floor, and wearing gloves on an 80+ degree day.

When I overheard the mom talking to the cashier in the grocery store where we were standing in line, I learned they relied on food stamps. If they were Christians, I'd have been pissed off but I really wasn't. (I admit to a little American attitude of "quit having babies you can't afford to feed" or "quit being so rigid in your beliefs and get a job" but it was mild, at best. )

Why was I more tolerant? Is it because the middle girl and I kind of bonded as we stood in line? or maybe I'm not pissed because Muslims aren't trying to impose their beliefs on the rest of us while simultaneously using the governmental system when they need it. ... don't know.

And maybe I'm so liberal in my acceptance of peoples' differences that I might as well be as racist, xenophobic, and Islamophobic, as the fundies we follow.

In any case, I thought of this thread when I saw them.

I'm from Houston and I so regularly see ladies in hijib that I don't think anything special of it. However, one time I was at the mall with my mom and she pointed out a younger (teen-20's) girl with her mother, they were both in hijib but, the girl was wearing some VS yoga pants with PINK on the booty in neon pink foil. My mom laughed, why cover your head and put a billboard on your backside???

[singsingsing]

Hijab is worn by different women for different reasons. I live in an area with a very large Muslim population. I regularly see girls and women wearing hijab as well as very modest clothing - floor-length skirts, loose long-sleeved shirts, etc., as well as seeing girls wearing the headcovering who are otherwise dressed less modestly than me. It's very unusual, at least around here, for girls to wear hijab before puberty. I'm not going to judge what a woman is wearing when she's also covering her head because I have no idea what her reasoning is, and it's her body and her life. She can cover her head and walk down the street in a bikini for all I care.

I do think it's extremely silly to not judge conservative Muslims the same way you'd judge conservative Christians. Muslims are not trying to impose their views on you because they are in the minority in America. Go to a country where Muslims are the majority and it's usually a different story. It's the same with most religious groups.

[uber frau]

So what about the anabaptist sects who are against engaging in politics but who still.exist in a greater Judeo.Christian culture? What about Christian fundies who live an post Christian culture, are trying their damnedest but have a snowballs chance of influencing anyone?

Are they up for snark?

[honeyinthesunshine]

I've never seen Jed, but when I was going to Portland State University in Oregon, one of his disciples, Preacher Dan, would come and preach on campus. This was in 2004-ish. Preach Dan became a Messianic Christian and completely lost it. Tried to hire someone to kill his wife, whom left him for abuse with their six or seven children. Then, after fleeing to Alaska and getting transferred back to Oregon, he threatened the life a judge. Don't know if he still preaches at PSU, but he still runs a website and youtube:

spiritandtorah.com

q3rY_lF3rrA

Yeah, completely ot, but this dude looks exactly like an old roommate of mine and dh's, like so much so that I had to watch the video to assure myself it wasn't him, a guy who got really hammered one night and got caught attempting to make sweet sweet love to my didgeridoo, in the literal sense. For that alone I can't help laughing at him. I wish I still lived in the Pacific northwest, didn't have a newborn and still got as stoned as I used to, because I'd go out of my way to contact old roommate and find this guy, and hijinks would surely ensue.

That said, yeah, he's a crazy douchebag.

[2AnimalCrackers]

My first fundie family siting! I am in Phoenix airport looking at a very pregnant woman with two kids under three! Husband is very josh like sitting there doing nothing while their brats whine and cry!

[OkToBeTakei]

Kings x to Edinburgh train. I see a couple formally dressed reading their bibles. Stark contrast to the lovely Japanese couple sitting opposite the child and myself who invited us to play cards. They don't look happy. Not even glancing at the scenery. Which is the only good thing about trains :lol:

[Lachlanne]

The guy who waited on me, according to his nametag, goes by Jehoshaphat. :o

That may not be his real name. Back in the day, I worked at fast food and several of the girls there disliked their names and simply put names they liked on their nametag.

One girl, extremely attractive, used a different name so that when she heard guys calling her by that name outside of work, she knew that they didn't really know her from school or somewhere, they just knew her from Burger King.

Now, one of my daughters works at a fast food place while she's completing college. She says that sometimes the employees trade badges or make up silly names just because the job is boring and they want to see if anyone noticed. One poor guy wasn't paying attention and wore an obviously girl's name all through his shift. (He laughed at the end, though, and said he wondered why he was getting so many funny looks from customers.)

My youngest nephew once worked at McD's. His nametag said Floyd the entire time he worked there. His name is not (and never was) Floyd. :wink-kitty: