Close Encounters of the Fundie Kind

[Trynn]

It's currently midnight as I type this. I was coming back from a friend's apartment on campus, and walked through the student center because it's warm in there. And as I came up to the 2nd entry way of the student center, I saw these people walking around and praying. I only knew that's what they were doing because they were shouting out "Jesus" and "yes God" and "Lord" a lot, cuz I've never seen anyone pray all loud like that before, and they were talking over each other, not waiting and taking their turns.

I wondered if I should turn around and go back, but it's cold outside. Fortunately they didn't bother me, just opened the door for me and I left asap. Outside, there were 2 See-us people watching. Seeus is the organization on campus that hires people to walk you to your dorm late at night if you don't feel safe walking alone. I asked on of the guys, "what the hell are they DOING?" The guy, it turns out, is interested in what he calls "extremism." He said they'd been doing that for a while.

I'd thought they were praying over the school or something, like casting out demons. But then one girl walked outside, like she was praying over the steps. Then she took off her shoes. Another girl followed the other girl, and I think she took her shoes off as well but it was dark and I couldn't really tell. One pair of shoes definitely came off. I was like, are they going for Moses with the holy ground thing?

Girl number one said, "it is done" while walking carefully, and then this was repeated a few more times. The other girl then took up the refrain, and then started speaking in tongues. I've never heard anyone do that before. Then the two girls ran away, sans shoes.

Then they ran back, girl #2 screaming, "I'm healed!" intermittently with, "Haleluyah!" (However you spell that darn word) and "Praise Jesus" and more babbling.

At that point, the crazy broke up.

I then had a very interesting discussion with the Seeus guy about extremism. Turns out Seeus Guy is fascinated by the psychology of the thing. He identifies as Atheist. I told him I identify as confused (it's true, don't know if I believe in God anymore) but that we believe God is a God of order and that that is disorder. Seeus Guy wondered if it was supposed to be a physical healing, because otherwise the girl could be really hurting herself right now.

There is a religious group on campus that believes in spiritual healings (they've tried to exorcise me more than once because I have TS, it's rather embarrassing/rude, and at one point when one of the guys laid hands on me I decided that if his hand moved any further down my back I was going to kick him in the groin.) I wonder if it is the same group or a different one.

I was a little scared, so I let Seeus walk me home. Fun times, fun times. Honestly I wish they'd invite me to more crazy times because that was the funniest thing I've seen all night. I know it's rude, but I stood there and laughed the whole time, though I tried not to make it obvious.

[Trynn]

Last Saturday night about 9 pm there was a knock on the door. Since I do not open my door to someone that I don't know, I looked out of my window and there as a bushy haired, bushy bearded man with a lot of papers. He held one up to the window and it was something about God and women. I ignored him. Not sure if he was fundie or someone trying to get into my house but who would go out selling religion that late.

Actually, when I was going door to door with my church, they frequently kept us out that late. Later, if they could. Of course, this was in the summer when the sun was still up, but I still thought it was rude, both to the customers and to us, as it left us workers with no private me time, plus I felt like we should let people relax in the evening.

I'm not saying what happened to you still wasn't rude, just that it possibly really was someone peddling religion.

[fundyfunland]

Actually, when I was going door to door with my church, they frequently kept us out that late. Later, if they could. Of course, this was in the summer when the sun was still up, but I still thought it was rude, both to the customers and to us, as it left us workers with no private me time, plus I felt like we should let people relax in the evening.

Bolded text is mine. Uhhh...."customers"? Yep, I'd say that's pretty accurate. When g-d needs more souls, I suppose s/he resorts to buying them. Seems like a reasonable back-up plan if his/her sheep aren't winning enough souls presenting the Truth to the heathens. :roll:

[Chibi Author]

lillybee, I had something similar happen to me. I was working from home one day and my car was in the garage. my husband was at work too, so with no cars in the driveway, I guess it appeared no one was home. I heard the doorbell ring and when I peeked out between the slats in the blinds, there were two men- one white and one African-American, both well-dressed but both were carrying big duffle bags. they continued to ring the doorbell and finally they stopped. then one of them tried to open the door, vigorously turning the knob- thank goodness for deadbolts. I watched as they left the porch and got into a white panel van and drove away, so it's not like they were going house to house.

I waited a few minutes and opened the door. there was a tract on my porch from a church nearby. I called the church and they said that tract was an old one they hadn't had available to the congregation in a few years. I called the police and they sent a cruiser out. I told them my story and they told me there had been a rash of burglaries in the next subdivision over and the white panel van had been reported as a suspicious vehicle. I gave them all the info I could remember about how they looked and they told me to keep the door locked and "just be aware".

If I don't know you're coming, I'm not answering the door!

That's so creepy! :o I would have been so scared after finding that out, lol.

Did they ever catch those guys?

[Trynn]

Bolded text is mine. Uhhh...."customers"? Yep, I'd say that's pretty accurate. When g-d needs more souls, I suppose s/he resorts to buying them. Seems like a reasonable back-up plan if his/her sheep aren't winning enough souls presenting the Truth to the heathens. :roll:

Huh? Sorry, I'm not sure where you're coming from. I call them customers because we were going door to door selling books (back in my fundy lite days)....

[samurai_sarah]

There were Mormon missionaries in the street (good luck to them, my city is very atheists, in a very secular region, where Mormon = TV series Big Love).

I'm in a wheelchair, and when I was next to them, he said, "pray to the Lord ! the Lord will heal you ! if you believe God, He will heal you!"

Yes, man, I'm sure God will go back up my genes... :mrgreen:

Ugh, how rude of him. Ugh... :disgust:

I sometimes see the Mormon missionaries around too. Funnily enough, they're usually out in summer on Saturday evenings. It amuses me. Converting me to a religion that prohibits a cool beer, on a Saturday evening, in summer? I don't think so. :lol:

[EmmieJ]

Thankfully, I have not had any fundies (or fake fundies) knocking on my door trying to convert and/or steal from me. The closest is that there is a mother/son who live down the street who are 7th Day Adventists. Very quiet, keep their house and yard very neat and tidy, and do their proselytising (have no idea how to spell that) elsewhere.

[GenerationCedarchip]

Thankfully, I have not had any fundies (or fake fundies) knocking on my door trying to convert and/or steal from me. The closest is that there is a mother/son who live down the street who are 7th Day Adventists. Very quiet, keep their house and yard very neat and tidy, and do their proselytising (have no idea how to spell that) elsewhere.

I haven't had fundies knocking on my door but we did have the Moonies show up late at night one time!

[SomewhatFundy]

Has anybody else seen brother Jed Smock on their local college campus? He's a traveling preacher who goes to college campuses to harass the students.

That guy is strange. I've spoken with him a few times, once the crowd clears he becomes a good deal more reasonable and calm, although still horribly bigoted and legalistic.

However, when he and his wife have a large crowd of co-eds to scream at he dials the nuttery up to 11. My husband and I checked out the University of Missouri in Columbia for a potential spot for his Master's, and there was Jed again. Camped out in the speaker's circle, screaming at the women for their clothing choices.

He is a real peach.

[fundyfunland]

Huh? Sorry, I'm not sure where you're coming from. I call them customers because we were going door to door selling books (back in my fundy lite days)....

Okay. I thought you were referring to people you were trying to convert as customers. I didn't realize you were talking about selling books. :oops:

[Roycroft]

Has anybody else seen brother Jed Smock on their local college campus? He's a traveling preacher who goes to college campuses to harass the students.

Wow, that guy's still around? I remember seeing him quite frequently on the OSU campus back in the late 80s - early 90s. I used to have friends who were part of a group of jugglers who hung out on the quad, and one of them liked to argue with Brother Jed while juggling three or four items at the same time. :)

If it's the same Brother Jed, and not version 2.0, he must be older than god by now. :lol:

[Trynn]

Okay. I thought you were referring to people you were trying to convert as customers. I didn't realize you were talking about selling books. :oops:

It's ok, I should have explained it better. It's actually both. I called them (potential) customers because of the book selling, but conversion is the ultimate goal, as Seventh Day Adventists hope that by reading these books, the customer will be converted. Here is a long explanation, if anyone is interested. Keep in mind that this program is mainstream Adventism, but tends to attract more conservative/fundy lite Adventists than mainstream ones.

Adventists call it "Literature Evangelism" "canvassing" or "magabooking." I'm trying to think of a good website to show you, but the truth is that the program still doesn't have a good one. I know that sets off some red flags, but it is a legit program. (We got all our money and were told we might have to pay taxes.)

What this consists of basically is a bunch of students, high school and or college, who get together in one place. Depending on the group size, they can either be staying in a church, a church school, or church member's houses. We were in a church school, girls in one room, boys in another. For the sake of time I won't mention the issues surrounding living arrangements/internal politics. I just said all that so you have the background.

After some brief training, we'd go out in the surrounding area and go door to door selling books. Then, after about 4 weeks, we'd graduate to the business sector and would go business to business. I HATED that part because a lot of businesses had no soliciting policies (which we were trained to ignore, because Jesus would never actually let obeying the rules get in the way of spreading the gospel, that's not how they said it, that's how I interpreted what they said.) and I felt it was rude to bother people at work when they were busy.

I should explain that Seventh Day Adventists believe that this lady, Ellen G White (1827-1915) had the gift of prophecy. The church's official position is that Ellen White (hereafter referred to as EGW) and her writings are not in place of or on equal footing with the bible. However, in practice, that is often not true. It depends on how liberal a congregation is. In Michigan, Adventists tend to be more conservative, so I grew up on EGW and her writings. I've read some of them, probably more than most people my age have, and that's why I stopped believing in her.

But even though I stopped believing in her as prophet, I thought some of her writings, particularly her book on Jesus, were helpful to Christians desiring to know more about him.

These were the books we went door to door selling.

And this is where things get complicated. Some Adventists prefer only to focus on book sales, but other Adventists, and I fell into this group, prefer to focus more on experiences, on making friends with the person at the door, ministering to needs if necessary or, in my case, comforting an old man in tears because he lost every single person he cared about. I still tear up when I think of him, and pray for him in case God is listening. (For the record, I did NOT try to sell him a book while he was in tears.) The books are supposed to be a gateway to spiritual conversations, and it is hoped that by reading, the customer will be converted, specifically to Seventh Day Adventism.

That said, Adventists are generally not fundy/fundy lite. The majority of them are mainstream, even the ones who believe in EGW. I was, at one point, fundy lite (actually I went through periods of off and on fundy lightness most of my religious life.) I wanted to go full on fundy at one point, but couldn't because I'm allergic to skirts/dresses.

That was a rather long (and short) explanation.

[nolongerIFBx]

Has anybody else seen brother Jed Smock on their local college campus? He's a traveling preacher who goes to college campuses to harass the students.

That guy is strange. I've spoken with him a few times, once the crowd clears he becomes a good deal more reasonable and calm, although still horribly bigoted and legalistic.

However, when he and his wife have a large crowd of co-eds to scream at he dials the nuttery up to 11. My husband and I checked out the University of Missouri in Columbia for a potential spot for his Master's, and there was Jed again. Camped out in the speaker's circle, screaming at the women for their clothing choices.

He is a real peach.

I always want to go shake him and say, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Yelling at these college students isn't likely to make them seriously consider what you are saying." I have actually heard people who think that it is "Preachers Circle" not "Speakers Circle". Sigh.

[itaintmebabe]

Has anybody else seen brother Jed Smock on their local college campus? He's a traveling preacher who goes to college campuses to harass the students.

That guy is strange. I've spoken with him a few times, once the crowd clears he becomes a good deal more reasonable and calm, although still horribly bigoted and legalistic.

However, when he and his wife have a large crowd of co-eds to scream at he dials the nuttery up to 11. My husband and I checked out the University of Missouri in Columbia for a potential spot for his Master's, and there was Jed again. Camped out in the speaker's circle, screaming at the women for their clothing choices.

He is a real peach.

Good Grief, I can't believe that guy is still around! At least I think it's the same guy. There was this preacher Jed, we called him "Jed on the Wall" because he was a regular fixture who'd preach at a spot on our campus known as the Wall, which was the side of a brick building in the center of campus where there were lots of students walking around.

Once when "Jed was on the Wall," my husband (then boyfriend) and I made up a banner on a long sheet of paper that said "Jesus Saves at the First Bank of Mellonville" or something, and went out of one of the doors behind Jed and appeared behind him, holding up our banner. The students who were listening to Jed (most went for the laugh) start clapping when they see our sign. Jed realizes they aren't clapping at him, turns around, and then started yelling at us, "Are you Ho-mo-secks-you-alls? Are you a Lez-bee-ann?"

We didn't respond to him. We turned and went back (the door locked behind us, but a kind, sympathetic student opened it for us from the inside). We had to get back to classes, you know, evil learnin' and stuff.

By the way, that was...1982? 83? 84? I'm surprised to hear he's still around.

OK, just googled him.

brojed.org

I'm surprised to see he was born in 1943, which makes him no older of some of my favorite old rock stars, which is odd because I thought he was AGED back in the '80s, like in his 70s or something. Hmm. I bet the preacher circuit gives you advanced aging syndrome or something.

[singsingsing]

There was a young guy here last year on campus standing on the corner shouting at everyone about Jesus. Most people kind of just ignored him. I think he attracted a small crowd at one point. One guy said to him, "If God's going to strike me down because I'm a sinner, why doesn't he strike me down right now?" And the street preacher was like, "He will! God, don't strike him down! There, I just saved your life!" Last I saw of him he was being escorted away by campus police.

[GodsKnickers]

There was a young guy here last year on campus standing on the corner shouting at everyone about Jesus. Most people kind of just ignored him. I think he attracted a small crowd at one point. One guy said to him, "If God's going to strike me down because I'm a sinner, why doesn't he strike me down right now?" And the street preacher was like, "He will! God, don't strike him down! There, I just saved your life!" Last I saw of him he was being escorted away by campus police.

BabyFullofSin will know who I'm talking about when I mention the local nutter who hangs out in front of city hall here, every Sunday. Street Church Ministries & Artur. He's always getting himself in shit. :lol:

[BabyFullOfSin]

BabyFullofSin will know who I'm talking about when I mention the local nutter who hangs out in front of city hall here, every Sunday. Street Church Ministries & Artur. He's always getting himself in shit. :lol:

I don't! Have I really missed a wonderful in-person snark opportunity in this very city for the last 7 years??? I spent 2.5 years at a U campus here, and 4.5 years at a U campus in New Brunswick and have never seen any such nutters. No fair! :violin:

I need to get my butt downtown this weekend for the show :cracking-up:

[TheLurkingFrumper]

Has anybody else seen brother Jed Smock on their local college campus? He's a traveling preacher who goes to college campuses to harass the students.

That guy is strange. I've spoken with him a few times, once the crowd clears he becomes a good deal more reasonable and calm, although still horribly bigoted and legalistic.

However, when he and his wife have a large crowd of co-eds to scream at he dials the nuttery up to 11. My husband and I checked out the University of Missouri in Columbia for a potential spot for his Master's, and there was Jed again. Camped out in the speaker's circle, screaming at the women for their clothing choices.

He is a real peach.

I've never seen Jed, but when I was going to Portland State University in Oregon, one of his disciples, Preacher Dan, would come and preach on campus. This was in 2004-ish. Preach Dan became a Messianic Christian and completely lost it. Tried to hire someone to kill his wife, whom left him for abuse with their six or seven children. Then, after fleeing to Alaska and getting transferred back to Oregon, he threatened the life a judge. Don't know if he still preaches at PSU, but he still runs a website and youtube:

spiritandtorah.com

q3rY_lF3rrA

[GodsKnickers]

TLF - to embed a youtube video, only include the stuff after the equal sign.

[TheLurkingFrumper]

TLF - to embed a youtube video, only include the stuff after the equal sign.

Awesome! Thanks!

[2AnimalCrackers]

Oh no I am full of Jezebel spirit! I kept wishing the kitten behind him would spring up and claw his eyes out!

[FearLyss]

I live in a small/medium-size ultra liberal midwestern city and there are virtually no fundies here that I am aware. But I have seen (Amish or Mennonite?) at one of our major hospitals. I would guess probably the latter since there is absolutely no where to park a horse and buggy. <--not being snarky, just telling it like it is. The women were very thin and did not look at all like us hefty midwestern "English" women. Either their Amish lifestyle kept them very trim, or they were still young girls but their Amish lifestyle made their faces look old. Not sure which it was because their dress wasn't a giveaway to their ages.

Did stop at an Iowa "Welcome" center on the border with Missouri once, that sold Amish food...jarred stuff, candy, etc. Big tourist trap, especially for chartered busses. Bought some dried fruit and jams. Saw an Amish boy and horse and buggy outside, but I think the people working in the store were English.

Have driven around the parts of my own state where Amish supposedly live. Never saw any.

About 20 years ago went to a zoo in a larger midwestern city and there were either Amish or Mennonite and they smelled awful! Worse than any zoo exhibit. I could hardly stand to be around them because of the intense BO. What about the cleanliness/godliness thing?

Have had frequent fundie sightings in a city I used to visit in the Rocky Mountain west. Once, maybe 7 years ago or so, my husband and I went to a Home Depot (they seem to like Home Depots!) and there was a fundy woman with a long skirt, long hair (I feel weird using that as a description since I have somewhat long hair myself, but I don't even own a dress or skirt, so I'll never be mistaken for one!). She had kids in tow, and it was a school day, so my husband and I were joking about how shopping at Home Depot was part of their home schooling. SOTHDA? School of the Home Depot Aisle. When we got back to the car, we saw a large white (they're always white) van, and it had a whole bunch of Jesus Fish Magnets on the back. We were cracking up, and I said "It's a whole SCHOOL of Jesus Fish!" Or more accurately, a whole HOME SCHOOL of Jesus Fish.

This has always confused me as well. I live in Philly, and I go to Lancaster a few times a year (for shopping/ eating day trips). I used to assume anybody riding in a car or using powertools was Mennonite, or new order amish. However, my Dad has worked with some amish contactors who claimed to be old order and while they did not own any power tools, they would borrow them. Same with riding in cars, they did not own any but would accept rides. When the shooting at the Amish schoolhouse happened I was a volunteer at CHOP on the surgical floor when I was in college. One of the girls was on my floor (although I did not have contact with her). I was surprised that she had so much family there, and wondered how they got there. I have no idea what they would be considered though.

I saw some fundies at a Walmart when I visited some family in Titusville, Florida. I did sense a little smuggness as the one young woman eyeballed my sister (she is 20, she has a 2 year old, is not married- thankfully IMO) playing with a toy car I got my niece. It looked like they had just ran into another fundie friend and were chatting, but she kept glancing at us as we waited for my mom to check out. I couldn't figure out if she was annoyed by my sister being a young un-married mother who was wearing pants and a tank top, or my niece- who was also wearing pants AND playing with a car- a boy toy. I smiled at her, because apaprently, I am friendly when someone is ackwardly staring at us, and she just looked away.

Later, we saw some more when we went out to eat in Mims, they seemed ok at least. The family I visted I would consider fundie-lite (they match in every way, except in how they dress- they do not do skirts, anyone know if that is a common in that area?

[NoQuiverNoCry]

My ex-inlaws lived in Lancaster, PA, and there are many Amish folks at the tourist locales.

What I found more interesting, though, were the slightly-more-modern Mennonites I saw there. Their cars were painted completely black--very noticeable in the days when more cars had metal bumpers, and these black cars had black-painted bumpers. The women all wore pastel-flowered bib-style dresses, cut from similar patterns, but somewhat-below-the-knee-length instead of ankle-length. They all wore little white prayer bonnets, and most of them wore sneakers.

I saw one young pregnant woman walking through a general store. She had this prim, smug, holier-than-thou expression on her face, as if she were advertising, "Look at me! I'm The Right Kind of Christian and I'm Married and Pregnant!"

The black cars are iconic, which is funny because it's the opposite of what they intend! They're supposed to be a modest choice, but they're very noticeable.

My cousin Randy married Carla, who was an Ohio mennonite for most of her life. The first time I met her, she described her family as "black bumper mennonites." I asked what that meant, and she said it's a description that fits certain types of mennonites: they're progressive in that they drive cars and embrace lots of modern ideas, but they guard modesty and actively shun pridefulness. Chrome finishes apparently cross the line, so they spray-paint their bumpers--and the ring around the windshield, and any other shiny parts--black. I laughed and asked why the shiny windows weren't equally offensive, and she laughed too and said something like "probably because it's not convenient to be observant of *that* problem, even though it's right there." I had the feeling she was talking about a much bigger problem than shiny car parts.

[tralala]

I'm at nursing school right now and we have a set uniform for our practice labs and clinical placements. It must be in a certain color and can only be bought from two shops in the entire city. Although there is some variety in style, it's still your standard scrub top and pants set at the end of the day. Last week I encountered a woman who had gone out of her way to sew her scrub pants into a skirt. It doesn't seem like much but literally no one else in the school does this.

I live in a very conservative province so there's always fundie types that pop up, but it's interesting because it's all sorts of different types of fundies in varying degrees. You're bound to run into one sooner or later.

[Jenny]

I'm at nursing school right now and we have a set uniform for our practice labs and clinical placements. It must be in a certain color and can only be bought from two shops in the entire city. Although there is some variety in style, it's still your standard scrub top and pants set at the end of the day. Last week I encountered a woman who had gone out of her way to sew her scrub pants into a skirt. It doesn't seem like much but literally no one else in the school does this.

My Mom is a nurse. she had a co-worker who was Mennonite, she wore a scrub skirt and a kapp. Someone once asked if she was a nun. FWIW, it is a Catholic Hospital, but I'm not aware of any nurses there who are nuns.