Uh Oh.....Quiverful Thoughts In My Brain!

[brashchick]

The Xanax was just to get her to sleep -- the grass eating is apparently not going to change, but if she is asleep at 3:30 am, she isn't barking to go out.

[makepeace]

There are many advantages to having kids young. You have more energy, and probably an easier time conceiving. Unfortunately, the problems are that women are encouraged to have careers too - which do you prioritize? Society prioritizes it for us by making it financially impossible for middleclass people to have children (without becoming poor) until they are older. Men also don't want to have kids until they are older, and therefore its near impossible to find a potential husband/father when you are young. I think more middle class women should have more kids younger because currently only poorer women are. Careers are overrated in my opinion.

[Spartan89]

This is me too! I'm glad I'm not the only one dreaming of babies at 21...I've just always loved them! Even working at a preschool sports camp, with a group of fifteen 2-5 year olds, couldn't stop the daydreaming. However, I know logically that having children now would be a terrible idea. I've decided to pursue a career as a certified nurse midwife, and that actually has helped a lot! It's exciting (well, for me anyways!) to study other people's pregnancies and infants. I feel like it's the perfect solution for me- get an education, and delay baby-making until I'm actually prepared for it!

[Guest Anonymous]

Careers are overrated in my opinion.

That's ... special.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I find myself craving lots and lots of babies all the time lately, and I'm 21 too. I'm still in school, will be living with my parents until next summer and am not even in a relationship, so I know it's not a good idea. But I still want some, right now! They're just so cute! I blame hormones:) But I also know that to be the best mother I can possibly be to my future children, I should delay having them until I am absolutely ready for them. Also, as a lesbian, it's not like i'll go marry a man right now and get myself knocked up asap. So when I am ready for kids, however I decide to do that will be a longer and more complex process than the old fashioned way, which will be another way to make sure I'm absolutely ready and not just doing it because OMG BABIEZZZ! CUTE! Because that's what my mind does whenever I see a baby.

[ElphabaGalinda]

Careers are overrated in my opinion.

If you don't want to have a career, don't have one. If you want a billion little babies starting when you're in your early 20s, go for it. That doesn't mean that every other woman should do the same, and that doesn't mean it's the best thing to do for every woman, because it's not.

[clibbyjo]

There are many advantages to having kids young. You have more energy, and probably an easier time conceiving. Unfortunately, the problems are that women are encouraged to have careers too - which do you prioritize? Society prioritizes it for us by making it financially impossible for middleclass people to have children (without becoming poor) until they are older. Men also don't want to have kids until they are older, and therefore its near impossible to find a potential husband/father when you are young. I think more middle class women should have more kids younger because currently only poorer women are. Careers are overrated in my opinion.

I disagree. I am a middle class woman,married at 22 and had my kids at 26,29 and 31 after college and 4 years of childless marriage. My husband had his masters degree by then and a real job. I decided I would be staying home when we had kids. That was MY choice. Saying careers are overrated is a slap in the face to most women here, I hope you realize that.My "career" is homeschooling my kids right now. In 10 years I will do something different, I don't want to be a SAHW when my kids are grown.

[Bookworm89]

Lol, I love this thread since I can relate, 22 and the urge to have children has come on more than once. Not currently, I just got through a month worth of babysitting for families with 3-6 children each for the extra cash. Right now all I want is peace and quiet and children are not good for that :)

[LIzzieB]

I have never, ever felt this urge to have babies. It is such a foreign concept to me that I really find it hard to imagine it. This is why choosing to be childfree doesn't really feel like a choice, because I seriously have never felt that desire. It seems to be such an overwhelming thing for some women (and men) that sometimes I think that I lack the hormones or that part of me is broken. I quite like kids, I enjoy teaching them and also spending time with my small nieces and nephews. But I have NEVER once looked at a child and thought, "I want a baby". It's weird.

[marmalade]

I think it's a biological thing to have that urge around 19-21. IIRC, that is when the female body is at its most fertile and healthiest for carrying the blessings. Of course, the young age goes back to the fact that lifespans were much shorter even a century ago, so yeah, women's bodies naturally urged them to get going younger.

Now that we're living longer and have choices in our lives, it's natural to have that urge. Some will give into it via marriage, or not, and others will hold off having kids for whatever reason until later in life. Or not at all.

There are no right or wrong answers. And frankly, that's what is so great about being a woman who is free to make those choices for herself, unlike the girls and young women we advocate for who have no freedom or choice.

[Cerulean Blue]

To all you Bright Younguns out there-- this 53 year-old suggests that you curb your enthusiasm for a few more years. I had my children at age 33 and 38, and did get the Ph.D. first. I feel that the increased life experience and patience I had to draw upon more than compensated for the definite decline in energy.

The most important part, however, is selecting the appropriate partner for this venture. Don't even think about children until you find someone loving, trustworthy and stable. I wound up divorced, which makes things a lot more complicated. But the fact that I was older and well-educated made it a whole lot easier to cope.