[Repost] POLL: How many kids did you PLAN to have?

[Someonetocall]

zero. I've never *really* wanted children. I keep asking my husband if he wants any because I feel bad, sometimes, in case I've pushed him into it. He keeps saying he doesn't want any.

[FlorenceHamilton]

I wanted three and had three. I loved being pregnant and had just a brief period of longing for another pregnancy in my late thirties. Fortunately, I realized that it would mean having a very young teen right now. I am 52 and single. I am way too tired when I get home form work to do for another what I did for my three. I had a blast bearing them and rearing them. They are still my favorite company.

[NoQuiverNoCry]

My mind wanted two, but my body had other plans. I have one. And I adore her so much I sometimes make her crazy.

[Jezebel]

I planned for none, and at 45 have successfully stuck to that plan. It's really for the best, as I'd make a horrible mother.

I do, however, make a great Crazy Auntie, and I'm happy to be one.

My mom (who would totally be a FJer if she was into spending time on Internet forums) wanted three and got three, but if she'd been in a happy marriage with a hands-on dad, and had better family and economic support all around she would have had more of us--maybe five or six kids. She really liked being a mom and doing stuff with her kids. That said, she's now pretty content to be a long-distance grandma to my nephew, especially now that we've taught her to use Skype.

[Kaylee]

We planned on 5+, and my husband said 8+, but only have 1. I'd be glad to have 1 or 2 more, if/when we can afford it, but chances are not looking good (I have fertility problems and am the sort of QF that doesn't go for birth control or fertility treatments - I figure maybe God or nature knew I'd be crazy overwhelmed if I had a bunch of children to care for). Being that I'm 29 now and hubby is 39, and it took 8+ years to have 1 child, odds are pretty good that our son will be an only child.

[Terrasola]

I always wanted 3. Had 7 pregnancies and 2 live births (5 miscarriages). Some things don't work out like you planned, but it doesn't mean that life can't still be great. Life is not all about your fertility (or lack thereof), or choices to have/not have kids.

[ladypuglover]

I wanted 12 as I have always wanted way too many kids. ;) My husband wanted only the 2 that I had when we met. We had #3 as a surprise and then I had my tubes tied. I still wanted more and tried to adopt for years but nothing went further than being told you already have too many kids. Then the biological clock went off and I went apeshit insane for babies. Had my tubes untied and that destroyed my body and health but still had 2 more sons. I really want #6 but having to lie flat on my left side for most of the pregnancy and several months in the hospital woke me up to the fact that 5 was all we would ever have. My husband still doesn't want anymore but is very glad we as a couple talked about it and did have all 5.

Five sons out of 11 pregnancies and 2 sets of twins with only one single twin surviving. My oldest is the survivior.

[BelieveinScience]

I go back and forth if I want kids. I don't have a desire to be pregnant-doesn't interest me and babies are cute but not exactly exciting. I think the only way I'd want a kid is if I could adopt a toddler and sometiems I have a desire to adopt a toddler with HIV/Aids from eastern europe but that's about it.

[ShadowyOne]

One or two. No luck so far naturally, and not looking good since husband's recovery from cancer. We're going to do infertility treatment soon, but IDK what outcome will be (we had frozen viable sperm before his chemo). I'll take one of the younger Duggars (one not too corrupted yet) off of their hands.

[warpedfactor9]

I'd hoped to have three, but after 2 miscarriages and fertility problems since then, I doubt I'll even get one.

[Little Miss Alien]

I never had a set number in mind, but I loved kids as a youngster. My neighbours growing up had 4 - a boy, a girl and then boy/girl twins, all in a 5 year period! I'd been their babysitter, but soon became a Mother's Help a few afternoons a week because the poor Mum was going crazy. The eldest will be 18 this year - I feel ollld!

Anyway, my ex and I said we'd have 4. But I have a genetic condition and had loads of issues with my pregnancy with our son, then we suffered chronic money issues, and by the time we split, we still had one. That was 2 years ago, my son's nearly 5, I'm 30, and I've yet to meet anyone else. I figure if I've not met anyone in the next 5-8 years I'll either get a sperm donor, look into adopting, or foster. I'm no longer thinking 4, but am thinking "1 more might be nice."

[Feberin]

My husband and I always said four kids. Now we have one and one on the way. My husband is thinking two and I'm leaning towards three. We'll see what happens since my husband had wanted to wait longer to start a family and then to have a second child but changed his opinion suddenly. So far I have had lots of morning sickness followed by easy pregnancies after week 18.

[Californiacicle]

We only planned on having one. We have one with no plans to have more much to the chagrin of every other person who tells us we need to have more. Sorry people, we are old, infertile, and are conscious of overpopulation.

[MadameX]

None. Ever. I will have an abortion by any means necessary if I ever accidentally or against my will become pregnant.

I know that this is both ridiculously militant and somewhat (okay, very) untenable, but I don't think women should have children any more. It is 100% the reason for our second-class status in the world. Even the possibility that you could get pregnant and have kids some day (i.e. merely existing as a woman of reproductive age) causes discrimination or outright oppression (see: current war on women).

So yeah. Kate Chopin knew what she was on about. Why can't we grow babies in an artificial uterus yet?

[mnb357]

I have had four. My husband and I would have as many as we get...we do not use pharmaceutical b.c....but not due to religious reasons. However in the wake of the death of my eldest we have been avoiding me getting pregnant via nfp. If I were to become pregnant we would be happy but we are not going out of our way to make it happen. (Forgive my lack of commas...I cannot find it on my touchpad!)

[Lady]

I want one maybe two. We'll see how I do with one and if there is enough money to adopt a second time.

[contrary]

Wanted two, had two. I am an only child and it was very important to me that my kids have a sib. my parents were married, but divorced when I was two and my dad 'got a new family' and was entirely uninvolved; since my mom died, I feel very alone for an immediate family. I'd give so much for a sib, even if we weren't especially close.

So yeah. Married late, had two-in-two, got fixed.

[HoneyBunny]

Planned 4. Have 0 (after 28 years of marriage). This is my major beef with fundies...you just never know what the future holds. It's nice to have the advanced degree that provides a satisfying outlet and income in life, in the absence of motherhood. It would be truly sad to have been a stay at home wife at this stage in my life with no income earning capability. Also, due to our openness and connection to the community, we have LOTS of close relationships with kids in our lives. It's like being a grandparent without ever having been a parent. It wasn't what we planned, and I would have been a wonderful mom, but it's great all the same.

[Katiebug]

When we got married (I was 24, he was nearly 26) we assumed we'd be like everyone else and wait a year, then start having babies - one every 2-3 years until I was 35. We wanted at least 4 or 5. Yeah, right. :lol: We didn't even try to concieve until we'd been married 4.5 years and I was 29 when our daughter was born.

We both have to work in order to support our family, and child care is not cheap. Since we don't have a grandparent able to be our nanny and save us from the hefty daycare bill, we can only really afford 2 kids at a time in full time daycare. I also only get to take a full FMLA-based maternity leave every 24 months, and I am not going back to work at six weeks postpartum. Those factors combined with our later-than-anticipated start at childbearing (thank you, Great Recession!) means our family size will be smaller than we originally hoped.

Honestly the thought of having a 20 month old and a newborn gives me the shivers - and our toddler is an easygoing kid! I'm perfectly happy with waiting to even try for a second baby until after her 2nd birthday. We may go for a third or stop at two; DH and I would both like three but if we can't afford it, we can't afford it.

[bubbabearzle]

Planned 2, had 2, then had a tubal ligation to keep them from outnumbering DH and I. Parenting is a lot easier when each kid can get the full attention from a parent at the same time :-)

[CrazySister]

None. I think I'd be a lousy mom and I'm not all that fond of kids. People tell me "it's different when it's your own," but personally I think that's BS. What an asinine reason for having a kid! I do wonder, though, how many women in QF believed that - that even though they genuinely didn't want children and resent the thought (or experience) of having them, have them anyway believing that "their own" would somehow produce a magical adoration of life with children and they'd miraculously LOVE motherhood.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I dont know if I responded to this before- I don't see my avatar but I might be "quoted" in the first bit.

we planned on 4 originally. We've since changed our minds. We can't ethically take care of more than 2 or 3. If I have another difficult birth like my son's, then we are DONE. It knocked me on my ass for months, and I have to be able to take care of both kids.

[Maude]

It's unlikely I'll ever have children, but if it does happen, I'd like one, maybe two at most. This number will not increase due to my intense need for personal time and space in order to stay sane.

ETA: If we're talking furbabies, however, I'd probably have up to five or six at a time, if ever I can afford to. :D

[FundiesInMyFamily]

I wanted 2 or 3 or 4, I've always wanted a house full of family. When my son was born disabled, I decided it was better for him if I devoted my full attention to him, so he's my 1 and only. I didn't know how I'd take care of a baby or chase around a toddler while spending 6 weeks at the hospital with Booger. I have lots of nieces and nephews though, which is even better, I can give them back when they stink, and I don't have to disclipline them!

[tacky]

Wanted two, had two, scheduled a vasectomy for husband and then had a surprise pregnancy. I kind of wish we had gone with an even four, but totally happy with the three we have.