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[Repost] POLL: How many kids did you PLAN to have?


defrauding

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The first poll made think about this. How many did you have as opposed to how many you actually had/have?

depends on money and house size but 4 to 6

One. Never let the kids outnumber the adults. That's my motto.

We had planned on four. I don't know why but that was always my number. My grandmother had four and so did my mother. We had them all within 6.5 years which has worked well for us.

Two. That's it. That's all we can afford and still give them the things we think are important (one on one time with each parent, private school if they need it, international travel, the chance to participate in any activity they desire, etc.)

Starting with just one, I would love to have at least two but if I could decide all by myself, I would love to have 4-6. But zero at the moment smile.gif

I want 4 and hubby wants 3. Right now though, I'm really enjoying not having much responsibility so if I keep waiting to start, I might only have time for three.

Oh and hubby says he is going to get snipped after the 3rd and not tell me so that we have to keep trying for #4 :-p

Planned one one, had two and a tubal ligation.

I answered five because that's how many I WANT, but I have NO idea what sort of money, health, or other circumstances might arise over the years to change that number. And there are days when I think I could be perfectly happy never having any kids.

None. I am not parenting material.

I said 4. We're planning on 3 but think we'd maybe like 4 so we'll hopefully have 3 and see how we feel.

3-4.

Have one.

Wanted three and had three by the skin of our teeth thanks to infertility treatments.

We spent the whole summer of 2000 in discussion about having a fourth child. I was in the latter half of my 30's then, which for me, was the upper limit of my willingness to attempt a pregnancy. And my husband was nearly 50. We ultimately decided against it. THANK HEAVENS! I can't imagine having a 10-year old now; I'm too tired.tongue.gif Now we look back on that discussion time and say to each other, "What the hell were we thinking?"

In the end, it turned out perfectly, and I am grateful every single day.

I think if we were independently wealthy/had the ability to ensure that we had enough time, energy and money for 4, and could start a little sooner, it would be 4, but given our ages and financial situation, 2 is much more likely.

My number was "one, maybe two" but the pregnancy was so bad, my boyfriend got down on his knees and said "Please, please, no more, you'll die and leave me alone with babies and I will be miserable and crazy." So we changed the plan.

laugh.gif Funny!

I ended up only having one. I'm a 45 year old widow, so I don't see myself having anymore. By the time I can get remarried and settled, I would be nearly 50. I don't want to chase a toddler at that age. I always wanted more--but spaced very far apart (5+ years). But my husband was in poor health and my son had severe ADHD, so I guess it wasn't meant to be. But, I enjoyed raising my son (he's an adult now). We had a lot of good times that we may not have been able to have if I had had more children. So, I'm good with just one.

I would like 4, my husband wants 2.

I suspect we'll compromise a 3, assuming I am able to get pregnant again. (though we got great news at the fertility doctor today; my hormone levels are fantastic right now...she told me to go home and get busy...so here's hoping!)

Planned two, had two. I know that I'm very lucky and I shall always be extremely grateful that I got to have my lovely children.

However many we end up with, whether it's 2 or 10... But I'd like to be done by a certain age (I don't want to be 40 and changing diapers or chasing toddlers around) so I highly doubt I'll end up with that many. We have 1 now and I think we might end up with 4 or 5.

None. You can have my pills when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers. tongue.gif

I said none. If fundies are right that is the calling of every woman to have children, then God must really hate kids. I'd be a terrible parent.

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I wanted four. I am unsure why I wanted four, but even Mr Odd thought that a good number if we had the space and the money to afford them. Sadly, my biology said "No babies for you." Which is probably how that needed to go down, given the mental illness that has taken tighter hold of me the older I get, but nevertheless I still find myself lingering in the baby sections of superstores and looking at duckie socks and adorable bibs.

Zero. Happily childfree smile.gif

Husband and I would like at least four but three to five would be okay. We currently have one and while aren't wanting any more until she's a bit older (currently 4 months) we're already talking about life with number 2.

I always wanted 4+. We've had two in two years and with the older one having developmental delays, I'm not sure I can handle more. We're going to wait a few years and see how he progresses, then decide what we can handle. I suspect we'll have one more but it really does depend.

I planned on having one or two bio, then adopting the rest. Maybe a dozen. I come from a large blended family with a mix of biological siblings, stepsiblings, and adopted siblings. I loved it, so that's the kind of family I wanted.

I think I'm too young still (mid-twenties), but I am very much looking forward to having kids. I'd love to have 7+ if it goes well, but I'm not naive enough to believe that this is what will most likely happen. I mean, for all I know, it could be impossible for us to have kids. If that turns out to be true, I plan on adopting as many kids as is feasible/good for the family.

I wanted seven, but that was before I had my first. I had a vision of having seven kids who were close, instead of the two bitchy, distant sisters I got. When I had my son, I realized I would be a much better parent to him if he were an only child. I don't think we'll have another. I worry about him being lonely after we pass away, but that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to have another one.

I'd planned on having 4 (2 boys, 2 girls, naturally) but we're stopping at 2. My husband is a lot older than me and says he's too old (he's 51 but doesn't act/look like it). Also, I just don't like being pregnant. I love my boys, don't get me wrong, but I hated being pregnant. Besides, my 2 boys keep me teetering on the ledge that drops off into insanity, and I don't need one more kid to help them push me over.

We talked about having four or more, but pregnancy doesn't agree with me. My body is also not very good at childbirth, so it seemed like a good idea to stop.

I am also glad to know we are done because the two we have try my finite store of patience enough that I think I would be a progressively worse mother with each additional child. My sons are great companions for each other so I do think two was better than one for us.

That varied. There were quite a few times I thought three would be ideal. I still do I guess, my daughter's twin died 6 hours after birth. Had she not passed away then I would have had three children. I also had a miscarriage so I guess had all pregnancies gone to plan I would have had four.

There were a few times I thought it would have been good to have had a big family. But it was just a pipe dream really as I know that I would never, ever have coped with a large family. I love my kids and keeping my family small has meant that I could be the best that I could be for them.

I got a little upset yesterday about the fact that I can't have any more children now. Silly really because I am so much better since my surgery. I loved being pregnant and the early days with a tiny newborn are just so special. I got to thinking that I wont experience that any more and I got a little sad. Like I said, silly really because up to my surgery I wasn't going to have any more children anyway. I suppose it's the finality of it all that has begun to hit me.

One. I have three. My maternal instinct outweighed my common sense according to my doctor (don't do pregnancy well and almost died at each birth... )

I said four when we were first married; I had a bit of trouble getting pregnant, was miserable while I was pregnant, and zeeba kiddo #1 was (and sometimes still is)...a challenge. I was about to broach the subject of permanent BC with zeeba hubby when I got pregnant with #2. That pregnancy went fine, and zeeba kiddo #2 was a much easier child, but I had already had my tubes tied by then, so we ended up with two.

I'd like to have a big family and by big I mean 3 or 4. But this is nowhere near a reality, just an idea in my head. It depends on what I can afford. I would never want them to lose out on an opportunity because I had too many to provide for. I was an only child and kind of hated it, watching all my friends have siblings so.

I go back and forth between wanting only 3-5 and wanting more. But I have a few years to figure it out. I do know I don't want to be driving a 10-15 passenger van so that will set a nice limit of how many kids can fit in a vehicle.

Planned on 1 ended up with 2. One of each gender. We're happy with the family size.

However many came along, was my original plan - I guess I was semi-Quiverfull before I ever knew there was a term for it, but it was nothing to do with glorifying God or my own inflated ego. I just love babies AND kids (I have no plans to pass them along to siblings once they hit a certain age). I have 3 - 14 years, 7 years, and 4 months old. Ah, fertility issues, you make fools of us all. However, even with a crappy reproductive system, I AM the Michelle Duggar of my family - no one in my generation has more than two, other than me (not even the Mormons and Catholics!) and most have none. We're avoiding pregnancy ATM because we know my body would not sustain a pregnancy even if I did conceive (still haven't ovulate, with breastfeeding and all), and miscarriages really suck, but we'll see in another year or so, I think. Once we hit our limit on how many we can afford, emotionally and financially, we'll avoid, but we'll never do anything permanent about it. Just our personal philosophy, nothing religious about it.

I'm delighted with the one I've got. He's ten, so I can't really picture myself signing up for a whole new tour of duty at this point, y'know? I got used to uninterrupted sleep!

Although he did wake me up the other morning with some highly urgent matter involving his insufficient supply of shiny pokemon. *sigh*

Even on my wedding day I never thought of having children. So I checked 0 on the poll. However I would up having three wonderful children that I am extremely proud of.

I'd like more than two, no more than four, and I'm leaning towards three at the moment (preferably all boys!). I'm 21 now, so I'm really trying to get serious about taking care of my PCOS symptoms to make getting pregnant as easy (or as not-hard!) as possible when it's time. That also means trying sooner rather than later when I get married, which is fine with me, since I always wanted to be a youngish mom.

I planned on 4, I have 3 and am done.(only because I almost died with #3) I do sometimes consider adopting an older girl but now a days I am happy with 3. I saw a tiny newborn in the store yesterday and was like "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww,must have" until I remembered the hell of getting up all night and all that. I am 41, I need sleep more than newborns now. smile.gif

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Planned 2, had 2. Raised them to adulthood, including helping with college. 2 were in college at the same time. Made me glad that we stopped with 2.

I am not done childbearing but I picked 3, whereas I think I'm only shooting for 2 now instead. Pregnancy was a lot LOT tougher than I imagined and I don't think I could afford 3 like my mother and grandmother did (though I also have higher standards). Nor do I think I can fit 3 carseats in the back of my car. Seriously though, how do you do that? Now kids are supposed to be supposed to be in boosters until about the age I hit puberty.

I have 1 wonderful DD, but wanted 2. But it just isn't gonna happen.

I wanted 4 but had 2 and I also have a step daughter. The "baby" is 17 now and I'm happy with how things worked out.

LOL, we bought a car based on the ability to fit 3 carseats in the back smile.gif Actually, one was a booster, so it worked but it was very tight. We got the mini van when we had the 3rd kid and usually take that if we are all going somwehere. Yes, you graduate to the super cool, MINIVAN when you have 3 or more kids. Its ok, because your friends will all be driving them as well so its not so bad.smile.gif

Hubby wanted two and I wanted four so we decided to compromise at three. Our youngest daughter was a surprise so we ended up with four.

For reasons that I don't understand now, I really wanted another child when I hit my late thirties, but my husband refused to have his vasectomy reversed.

Just 2 furbabies for me.... They make me neurotic enough.

Planned on 2.

Last pregnancy, one boy decided he wanted a brother. He got his way. so now have three.

It helps if you get seats that sit up on relatively narrow bases (the Britax Marathon and related seats are usually pretty good for this, so's the really basic Cosco seat whose name I forget- I looked it up, it's the Scenera) some models tend to squeeze in together better than others and three seats across tends to work best if your car has a wide, flat back seat. Really scooped out, contoured seats can make it difficult to get tight installs with seats generally, let alone get them all in nice and tight. I only had to do three across a few times when my kid was small and I was babysitting for a friend, and I managed it with a Britax Husky (I think it's the Regent or something now? Anyhow, it's got to be the biggest, widest seat on the market by a large margin, holds kids up to 80 lbs in a 5 pt harness) and two boosters (a Britax Starriser Comfy, which was a cool seat because you could adjust the width, and a basic Graco low back booster) in a dinky Saturn wagon, but I had the nice flat seats and it was a bit of a squeeze.

None. How do I like my eggs? Unfertilized.

2, and I still want two. Although I would be very happy with one at this point, and if we go the adoption route that is probably where we will stop (due to cost). I want to make sure that I can give me kid(s) what the deserve financially and emotionally, and do not feel like I could do that (personally) with more than 2 kids.

Wanted two, but we are infertile. Adopted one, fostered a total of 18.

Hubby would vote 7+. He loves kids, hes told me he would love to have as many kids as I can pop out, and I've told him hell no. I've told him we'll start with one in a few years and see how it goes. But no more than 3, so that's what I voted for.

Before I ever married, I had a fuzzy idea that 3 would be a good number. By the time I married, Hubby and I both thought 2. My 2nd pregnancy was problematic, with very early dilation and effacement, culminating (thankfully) in a 36-week birth. The doctor believed that if I had another pregnancy, much of it would require bedrest, so that sealed the deal.

A year after my tubal ligation, I was asked if I had any regrets. My answer- I only wish that I was as sure that every other decision I had made in my life was as correct as the decision to have the tubal.

2 in college at the same time reinforced that decision again. We just plain did not have the finances to properly raise more children, either.

I am a first-time grandmother now, and that is just wonderful! Reward time... (The only bad thing is that I cannot comfort granddaughter as well/easily as I was able to comfort my own BF kids...)

A would like a boy and a girl, but I wouldn't mind two sons

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I would have liked to have 2. I am thrilled just to be getting one in two weeks!

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I never really had an idea. When I was a teenager, it was 0. Pre-kids it was "I don't know, we'll see." Then DH and I went from 0 to 2 older kids overnight, soon had one of my own, and after that we threw our hands up and said, "whatever happens, happens."

I have 7. 3 bio (2 YO and 1YO twins) and 4 adopted as relatives (10, 8, 5, 4). We are open to more, but probably not biologically.

Our limit isn't really defined. We'll only have as many as we feel we can give the time, resources and attention to, without compromising our existing children. That may stay at 7, it may be many more. We may get a permanent placement next week, or we may foster for years before potentially adopting again. We're both still young and healthy, so who knows.

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planned two, had two.

As a previous poster said, i did not love being pregnant. at all. i didn't have dangerous or difficult pregnancies, i just didn't enjoy it... it was a "means to an end" for me. I adore my girls with my entire being, but i just wasn't a good "blessed vessel".

It was important to me to have two, though, so they would each have a sibling. I'm an only child, which i actually liked, growing up, but after i lost my parents, i felt devastatingly alone in the world...i would give anything for a sib now.

(edited for pre-coffee clarity)

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  • 9 months later...

Was told resurrecting ancient threads was all right, hope it is.

I was raised alongside my sister (and older brothers who grew up before us) by a mother who didn't want us, who especially didn't want me- her disabled child she considered the greatest burden of her life. She abused me into developing PTSD, which of course only made me more disabled instead of less, and I planned to be the mother and mother figure I never had. I planned to have as many kids as physically, financially, and practically possible. I have eight. The oldest is seventeen and the youngest two were born in January of this year. There is a nine and a half year age gap between the oldest two. By the start of the 2012 - 2013 school year, I will have custody of one of my nephews, who is fourteen now and will turn fifteen in September. That'll bring the number to nine.

I lack the health to deliver more and we lack the resources to provide for more at this time. My husband had a vasectomy when I was pregnant last year and we are probably done. It is possible we could adopt one or two more in about ten years, but there is really no way we can predict if that will be an option.

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I don't have children right now, but I would like one child only, biological or not. In fact, at the moment I'm leaning towards one adopted child only (many children in need of adoption need to be the only child in the household for various reasons).

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Either zero or two. Leaning towards zero at the moment. I do not like kids, and the idea of birthing one and then being stuck with it makes me hyperventilate. But if I ever develop a yearning for children, it will be two, and they will be close in age. Having a sibling close to me in age made a lot of life transitions easier for me, and I was never bored as a child.

Red, you remind me of a friend of my family. She had (I think) seven kids: 3ish daughters in her first marriage who have long since grown up and moved out, 4 kids with her current husband. On top of that, she's adopted her niece's three babies. Her house will be full of kids for many years to come, and she seems to love that.

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Guest Anonymous

I always wanted to have at least one. We have a daughter and my husband and I are very content and happy with our choice of one. It works for us. She's a great kid. :)

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I don't have children right now, but I would like one child only, biological or not. In fact, at the moment I'm leaning towards one adopted child only (many children in need of adoption need to be the only child in the household for various reasons).

That is my niece and her girlfriend's plan, to adopt one child. Unfortunately, my sister thinks that abuse isn't abuse if it doesn't involve physical extremities like we suffered. Sis has a lot of (internalized!!) homophobia and thinks Niece fell out of Christianity, et cetera, and Sis is trying and failing at emotional manipulation. Never mind that Niece and her girlfriend are the only people in our families who go to a church.

Red, you remind me of a friend of my family. She had (I think) seven kids: 3ish daughters in her first marriage who have long since grown up and moved out, 4 kids with her current husband. On top of that, she's adopted her niece's three babies. Her house will be full of kids for many years to come, and she seems to love that.

Children are my greatest joy and I consider it an honor to raise them. I hope to one day run a Montessori-based school for disabled children in a larger house that is currently being built.

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I wanted 3-5.

We have 1 and we're not yet sure if she will be an only child or not.

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when I was a kid I wanted 6.. after we got married we thought 3 but decided after baby #3 was 5 we wanted one more, we had no problem having the first 3 but for some reason (probably age ? ) it took 2 years so my last 2 are 7 yrs apart. 2 boys ,2 girls seemed perfect! Since I'm the type to get baby fever dh got snipped :( good thing cuz I would of had another I think. But I got a grandson coming next month.

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I'm 24 right now and not really planning on having any kids for a couple years, but I'd like to end up with at least one and two at the most. I like kids, but in small doses!

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At the very least, I want at least one boy and one girl. If my pregnancies are like my mother's were (she had NO morning sickness and carried well) then I may consider bumping it to 3 or 4. This also depends on my future husband, of course.

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My husband and I initially planned on four kids. Well, it's because I wanted four, and he wanted six, but since I'm the one who would be carrying and delivering them, we decided on four. =p

Now that we have our son, we're starting to lean more towards having three total. It's because we want to be able to provide as generously as possible for our children, but my husband and I both had one sibling each and we both felt lonely sometimes (the fact that we both grew up with one parent probably added to the feeling of loneliness). We definitely want our son to have siblings. The thing is, I love my son so much, and can't imagine loving another baby this much. I know that sounds terrible, but my son is only three months old and right now, my entire existence is all about him (which I am loving)...and while I know that it isn't true, it feels like it would be impossible for me to love anybody or anything with the kind of love I have for my son (I love my husband so deeply, but I'm sure other moms can understand when I say that the love I feel for my son is just more intense because there's this sort of primal protectiveness I feel for him). I am sure that when I have another baby, when I'm ready (which won't be until my little one is at least 3), I will love another child just as much, since before my son was born, I had no idea that I could feel love this intensely. I'm sure that once I have another, that it will be the same.

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I always planned on one. But then I had my daughter and decided a sibling for her would be ideal. My first son came along way sooner than we had imagined he would (found out I was pregnant when going to be fitted with implant) and second son was a surprise while on the pill.

And now thinking of having another with my current partner next year (first three are with first husband, although he has no involvement in their lives).

So in my experience plans are good, but life doesn't necessarily line up with them!

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None. At 31 and not wanting 'em since I was in high school, it's unlikely I'll be changing my mind. However, I want my younger brother to have kids (and he wants them as well), because my goal is to be the fun aunt. He got married less than 6 months ago, and I already have a list of picture books I want to buy my future niece(s) or nephew(s).

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I'd like 4-6 depending on economics, mental capabalities and everything. I'd like to have a big (for Europe) family.

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I'd like 3, more than one for sure, I would have loved for my mom to have her overpowering attention divided :P But since I have no SO, I guess that's more than theoretical at the moment ;)

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I want 1-2. If I could, I'd love to birth one and adopt one, but in my home country that's very difficult (we have no adoptions from foster care, the number of out of family adoptions for the country are minute, and international adoption is difficult)

Due to a medical condition, my biological clock is ticking faster than others. If I don't have children with a significant other by a certain age, then I'm going to look into becoming a single mother by choice. If this is the case, I would prefer only one, as I believe I will have the resources to support one, but not more.

I'm biologically a twin (miscarried) so may have a genetic predisposition for twins - if that's the case one could be two...

As a child, my parents fostered. I hope to do the same t some stage.

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