Taliban Tony and Lina's crisis of faith/marriage

[desertvixen]

She should be entitled to some sort of alimony, for a year or so, just so that she can get established. But honestly, how much does he make and is she really going to get all that much anyway?

[sea_gale]

She looks really thin in her latest pic: maybe it's a bad angle, but it looks like her eating disorder has flared up. I hope her friends and family are keeping a close eye on her.

[Sola]

From a public post on her FB

The most sweetest and endearing love I find is when a man calls his wife beautiful and his face beams with pride for her. She may not look that way to our worldly vain standards, but in his eyes He sees no flaws but her beauty. Oh, to be loved like that.

I feel for her, I really do.

[wtylcf]

From a public post on her FB

I feel for her, I really do.

I'm sure she's mourning the loss of the relationship she thought she was going to have with TT. But maybe - just maybe - she could be thinking, "I settled for less the first time around, and the next time, this is how I want to be treated." I mean, I know this is optimistic thinking in the extreme, like thinking that since the pope washed a woman's feet in a ceremony, maybe he'll decide to support women priests. It's not likely. But I'm thinking that Lina is a bit more young and impressionable than the pope, so maybe there's hope?

She does look really thin in her profile pic - I hope she has someone looking in on her, someone she can talk to about her emotional well-being and physical health :|.

[fundyfunland]

From a public post on her FB

I feel for her, I really do.

Yikes! She capitalized the 'H' in 'he.' Maybe she should stop worshiping a headship and start liking herself first before her next "dream wedding." I also really feel sorry for her. She needs a better sense of who she is and what she deserves, before she gets caught up in another relationship, so this stuff doesn't happen again.

[bionicmlle]

It looks to me like she is now exploring Catholicism based on her Pinterest postings.

(I love a lot of the things she posts, btw!)

[browngrl]

I find Paulina's Pinterest page bizarre. I'll bet that the ink on her divorce papers is not yet dry but she is already posting pictures of Cinderella type wedding dresses. Who does this? Every person I know who has gone through a divorce takes some time before they are ready to even consider another serious relationship. I don't think this whole experience has taught her anything. She has gone from regularly religious to fundie Christian to faux Jew to now ?? Catholiscism. I think she is as flighty as ever. Maybe she has spent time and effort looking at her role in the failure of this marriage but I doubt it. I think she still thinks of herself as a princess and she is still looking for a prince to "rescue" her. I hope I am wrong. I hope she is buckling down and studying/getting a job so that she can care for her child. I doubt it though.

[fundyfunland]

It looks to me like she is now exploring Catholicism based on her Pinterest postings.

(I love a lot of the things she posts, btw!)

I hope she decides to put her time into academic studies, rather than studying a new religion. She's clearly a spiritual person and it's obvious that she needs some form of spirituality in her life to help her find meaning, but I hope she lays off her pursuits for a new religion for now. It will give her time to figure herself out, and time for her son to adjust to his new life.

[wtylcf]

Hey Lina and TT observers, I have resurrected this thread for the minor update that TT has again listed himself as married to "Paulina Dodd." She's changed her name back to Dodd on her profile. No new pics of them together or public updates declaring any official change, however. Um, who was it that predicted that they'd break up and reconcile again 100 times or so? I think I owe you some money.

So he's still listing "sexy atheists" among his "liked pages" along with...a Texas pro-cannabis legalization page? If it were any of my own facebook friends with these interests listed, I wouldn't bat an eye, but I wonder how this can possibly help the reconciliation effort with now-super-Catholic Lina.

I guess his parent's marriage reconciliation ministry has succeeded, at least on a surface level which does not seem to have resolved any of the partnership's foundational issues. I suppose it's the appearance of a happy marriage that matters, rather than the compatibility of the couple or their actual happiness together, right?

[Morton Fan]

Hey Lina and TT observers, I have resurrected this thread for the minor update that TT has again listed himself as married to "Paulina Dodd." She's changed her name back to Dodd on her profile. No new pics of them together or public updates declaring any official change, however. Um, who was it that predicted that they'd break up and reconcile again 100 times or so? I think I owe you some money.

So he's still listing "sexy atheists" among his "liked pages" along with...a Texas pro-cannabis legalization page? If it were any of my own facebook friends with these interests listed, I wouldn't bat an eye, but I wonder how this can possibly help the reconciliation effort with now-super-Catholic Lina.

I guess his parent's marriage reconciliation ministry has succeeded, at least on a surface level which does not seem to have resolved any of the partnership's foundational issues. I suppose it's the appearance of a happy marriage that matters, rather than the compatibility of the couple or their actual happiness together, right?

It was me! I've got paypal!

I would almost enjoy watching this trainwreck if they didn't have a baby involved. :(

[GeoBQn]

TT also recently went to a free thought convention.

Does this mean that Lina is going to get rid of her pins on how to homeschool as a single mother?

[wtylcf]

TT also recently went to a free thought convention.

Does this mean that Lina is going to get rid of her pins on how to homeschool as a single mother?

Oh, so that's the event the photo of TT wearing that slogan T-shirt is from. Thanks for clarifying.

I don't know about any of you other FJ-ers, but I would be so terribly uncomfortable in either TT or Lina's position right now. The entire premise of their current reconciliation is that the other person entirely changes all their religious beliefs in order for the relationship to have long-term success. Yes, TT already pulled that one on Lina, but I blame that circumstance upon their 5-minute engagement without really knowing each other very well. But can you imagine giving your S.O. an ultimatum like that? "Change who you are entirely to make me happy just for the sake of staying married/because the person you are is fundamentally problematic?" If it were me, I would feel completely guilty and unjust, knowing I'd forced my partner into a role they didn't want to fulfill, for my own essentially selfish reasons, no matter how wrapped up in "the truth" or "godliness" that justification may be.

I know there are posters on here who have spouses with different religious beliefs than themselves, and obviously in the right circumstances it can be a happy, fulfilling partnership. I just don't think Lina and TT seem to be the sort of people who can tolerate differences of belief with grace and good-nature. TT's not just "lapsing" into Atheism, he's going to free-thought conventions and embracing his new beliefs with the same zeal he once held for Messianic Judaism. Lina has always seemed to derive a sense of identity by adhering to strict religious rules in her daily life.

So, with a nod to MortonFan, I predict the reconciliation will last 3 months, during which Lina will re-plan her "real" wedding, Gentile edition, and then a crisis will be reached when TT will not convert in order to be married in a Catholic church.

[formergothardite]

TT also recently went to a free thought convention.

Does this mean that Lina is going to get rid of her pins on how to homeschool as a single mother?

Nah, they will be separated again in no time.

I really would not have guess that two vegan fake Jews would have ended up as one Catholic and one atheist who are kind of, sort of together. I thought they would get divorced and drop the fake Jew thing, but I didn't see Catholic/atheist thing coming.

[VooDooChild]

These wild vacillations from one faith to another make me dizzy. I can't imagine the inner turmoil and confusion that these two must be experiencing. The poor baby! I hope his parents sort themselves out right quick for his sake.

[Sola]

At least they aren't as bad as Brandy I suppose. I do feel for Lina. She obviously feels that something is missing in her life and needs to cling on to religion tohelp with that. ShShe'd have been far better taking the time to find out who sh really is. Instead she jumped into marriage with a man who has a strong personality and who she barely knew. I just hope they don't decide to have a reconciliation baby.

[silvia]

Ay yi yi. This reconciliation is terrible news. It just prolongs the death throes of a partnership that is ultimately going to end anyway, causing additional stress to both Lina and Tony that could potentially impact their child.

I think both parties would be far better off acknowledging they made a youthful mistake, cutting ties cleanly, and moving on--at least insofar as it's possible, considering they have a child together.

[uber frau]

And hopefully they don't go conceiving a 'reconciliation baby'. :(

Just because there's not enough specialness with the TT/Lina dramas...

His parents have stared their 'Saviour Marriage Ministry'. I was poking around on FB and guess who else has 'liked' them? Andrea DeHerrera. Anyone remember her? Her super special marriage(the one where they ran off to the courthouse but totally didn't touch each other until they had the 'real' wedding a bit later. But then had pregnancy announcement that was a wee bit suss.) broke up for a bit too but they're back together again. I guess Saviour Marriage Ministries must be working then.;)

[rward]

Oh, so that's the event the photo of TT wearing that slogan T-shirt is from. Thanks for clarifying.

I don't know about any of you other FJ-ers, but I would be so terribly uncomfortable in either TT or Lina's position right now. The entire premise of their current reconciliation is that the other person entirely changes all their religious beliefs in order for the relationship to have long-term success. Yes, TT already pulled that one on Lina, but I blame that circumstance upon their 5-minute engagement without really knowing each other very well. But can you imagine giving your S.O. an ultimatum like that? "Change who you are entirely to make me happy just for the sake of staying married/because the person you are is fundamentally problematic?" If it were me, I would feel completely guilty and unjust, knowing I'd forced my partner into a role they didn't want to fulfill, for my own essentially selfish reasons, no matter how wrapped up in "the truth" or "godliness" that justification may be.

I know there are posters on here who have spouses with different religious beliefs than themselves, and obviously in the right circumstances it can be a happy, fulfilling partnership. I just don't think Lina and TT seem to be the sort of people who can tolerate differences of belief with grace and good-nature. TT's not just "lapsing" into Atheism, he's going to free-thought conventions and embracing his new beliefs with the same zeal he once held for Messianic Judaism. Lina has always seemed to derive a sense of identity by adhering to strict religious rules in her daily life.

So, with a nod to MortonFan, I predict the reconciliation will last 3 months, during which Lina will re-plan her "real" wedding, Gentile edition, and then a crisis will be reached when TT will not convert in order to be married in a Catholic church.

You can maintain a relationship with another person of a different faith, but only if you have something other than religion in your life, are very confident in yourself and respect the intrinsic right of others to make their own decisions.

Paulina and Tony, not so much.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

TT and Lina got married because they shared a marginal form of religious observance and agreed on the centrality of staunchly traditional gender roles. They had as fundie a courtship as they could cobble together without Lina's parents' involvement. They are young and attractive (well, I thought Tony was attractive until we "got to know him") and seemed desperate to get married, so no big surprise that they developed chemistry and fell into an immature kind of love. Like so many of the more hardcore fundies who go through courtship, what they see as "God working on their hearts" to make them fall in love is actually just a result of finding someone they can insert into the artificial role that they construct of the "perfect godly husband" or the "ideal submissive wife" or whatever. What they have to do now is try to get to know each other again as people, not as two characters in a book about perfect Fake Jewish marriage, and figure out if they actually like each other. I don't think either of them knows their ass from a hole in the ground, but for the sake of that lovely baby, I wish them luck.

[2xx1xy1JD]

You can maintain a relationship with another person of a different faith, but only if you have something other than religion in your life, are very confident in yourself and respect the intrinsic right of others to make their own decisions.

Paulina and Tony, not so much.

The successful interfaith marriages that I've seen involved partners who knew exactly what they were getting into faith-wise, who respected their partner and the partner's faith, and who didn't see it as a divisive issue or an unpleasant issue to be ignored. If the partners aren't like that, it's a really hard issue to resolve.

I do feel bad for their child. While kids can learn to adapt to "mom is religion A, dad is religion B", it's harder to live with "mom is Catholic and is going to heaven and praying that daddy sees the light before he goes to hell and devotes every waking moment to loving Jesus, dad is atheist and thinks that mom is seriously deluded and lacks logical thinking ability and is just as bullying with his beliefs as he was in his Taliban Tony days."

[persuas1ve]

And hopefully they don't go conceiving a 'reconciliation baby'. :(

Just because there's not enough specialness with the TT/Lina dramas...

His parents have stared their 'Saviour Marriage Ministry'. I was poking around on FB and guess who else has 'liked' them? Andrea DeHerrera. Anyone remember her? Her super special marriage(the one where they ran off to the courthouse but totally didn't touch each other until they had the 'real' wedding a bit later. But then had pregnancy announcement that was a wee bit suss.) broke up for a bit too but they're back together again. I guess Saviour Marriage Ministries must be working then.;)

I was just wondering about Andrea the other day & couldn't remember her name! I was wondering if she had become less conservative over time as, if I recall correctly, her parents were not on board with her SAHD ideas etc. Does she have a blog anymore?

[Dinorah]

you're probably right, bananacat - probably Lina expects alimony and child support money to allow her to live and support her child without working if she's seriously considering staying at home as a single parent. I just personally don't get how you can have your marriage collapse after only a year and a half, and NOT rethink your decision to be entirely supported by others your whole life. She could make such a better life for herself and her kid, in my opinion, if she could have an independent source of income. Then again, I'm not a fundie, so I don't get the whole, "make an idol of being at home even if it means unnecessarily living in poverty" thing. Who knows- maybe Tony's raking it in as an e-book architect or whatever.

This. In her "A Set Apart Life" phase, she would have certainly thought she was too godly for divorce and "God would provide, she should realize now that things are more complicated. She's smart enough, I think, she could make a decent life for herself and her little boy.

[bionicmlle]

I was just wondering about Andrea the other day & couldn't remember her name! I was wondering if she had become less conservative over time as, if I recall correctly, her parents were not on board with her SAHD ideas etc. Does she have a blog anymore?

Me, too! Was she the "God is Writing My Love Story" girl?

[ThisOlGirl]

They got married very quickly because they were horny. Then they reconciled quickly because they were horny. I'm convinced that it's all about teh secks with these two. And now I must go scrub my brain with a wire brush because the thought of TT doin' the nasty...just no.

[uber frau]

Me, too! Was she the "God is Writing My Love Story" girl?

She doesn't have a blog as far as I can see but she has enough public on her FB page to see that she's back with her husband, has had another baby (I can't remember if she had her before they separated or not) and I don't think she's into the whole modesty thing the way she was. I wonder how healthy and stable that marriage is though? I think that the couples like TT & Lina and Andrea & Wotsisname are more likely to fall apart than anybody else's. They have all the disadvantages of a super religious cultural background plus all of the usual disadvantages of locking a couple into what would otherwise be a short term romance between horny, immature teenagers.