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What would a fundie wife do ?


dormouse

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Iirc, Lina's parents (who by all accounts are mainstream conservative Christians) wanted her to go to college. I think she ended up doing some kind of online herbalism course. Of course, she would have rather just spent her time being a ~godly SAHM~ aka sitting at home pondering Yahsome thoughts and not much else.

Yeah her college shut down after a few months, I think it was more of a degree mill than anything else. Lina still went to in person community college where she got hit on and resented it until she realized the person was had down's syndrome or something so then she talked about how people with mental disabilities are God's special children or soemthing.

As for Meredith I don't know. Steven seemed to have deliberately picked her because of her blog. If he wanted a college educated partner there were plenty of them at Princeton. And anyway since Mere is anti-college, pro homemaking and got pregnant about 5 minutes into their marriage pretty much seals Mere into not going to college.

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But it's ONLY a bad inter-racial marriage if he's African American...all of the rest of the races are variation on white.

:puke

(yes, I have heard that argued. Of course, in the same conversation, black man from Africa was OK, an African American was not)

How does that even make any sense at all?

Either way, it seems like Anna's family isn't really fundie, she seems to have come to that on her own. The other girls have careers and trousers, even if they are a large religious family.

It's funny how the no-college thing seems to come from a few girls rather than their parents (I'm thinking Anna as well as HbC and the other girl mentioned earlier). Are they just lazy or non-academic and pretend it's because they have a higher calling to be a wife and mother??

Oh wow. I found Anna's current blog, and found this... thekingscourts.blogspot.com/2012/04/dads-and-daughters-dancing.html

Squicked out. Big time.

EWWWWWWWWWWWW

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This is a question I asked in the thread about the upcoming "dating seminar" episode of the Duggars, but I thought it could become a thread in itself.

Let's say a fundie girl gets married. And her new husband, out of necessity or not, wants her to go to work or attend college. What would she do? Would she go because she has to be submissive?

I know they would probably "pray about it" and "become more Godly and sweet" until their husband has "a change of heart", but what if he doesn't?

I was always taught that submission to your husband comes after your submission to God. Your submission to God always prevails, especially if you believe your husband is asking you to do something unBiblical.

In reality this turned out to be "Pastor, my husband wants me to xxxx but I believe it's not supported by the Bible. Can you pray with him?" and that turns into the wife getting her own way.

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I agree with everyone above who said that in a lot of cases, it is the woman in control, with one caveat: I think the woman steering applies mostly to first generation fundies. They grew up in the mainstream world and no matter what mental energy they put into submission, they know what CHOICE is. I'm not so sure what will happen with thousands of daughters born into fundiedom. I think a lot of them will be so mentally crippled by their upbringing that even if you told them, "go to college and get a job", that it would be a non starter. Go somewhere unsupervised? Mix with the opposite sex, different religions....PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT STRAIGHT?! They would lack the basic social tools to even get started, much less achieve.

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I was always taught that submission to your husband comes after your submission to God. Your submission to God always prevails, especially if you believe your husband is asking you to do something unBiblical.

In reality this turned out to be "Pastor, my husband wants me to xxxx but I believe it's not supported by the Bible. Can you pray with him?" and that turns into the wife getting her own way.

So true, but now there are people who teach that you should submit to your husband even if you think what he's telling you is unBiblical. This is probably because of the type of manipulation you talk about, and also out of fear of the wife becoming the spiritual head of the household by interpreting what is and isn't Biblical. The really bad part is that it leaves a woman whose husband really is trying to get her to do something morally wrong or reprehensible to her without any options or support.

I've heard a lot of women say things like "My husband wants me to get a job and put the kids in school, but it's not biblical so I'm gonna stay home and trust God" or "Hubby wants me to show my hair and wear more stylish clothes, but I would rather wear a covering a a cape dress so everyone can see how spiritual I am, so I'm going to ignore his persecution." It's passive aggressive and really annoying, so some women have started answering things like that by saying "If you were really submissive, you'd submit even when you don't agree and follow his convictions because he is supposed to be the spiritual head of the home".

Works fine, until you come across a husband who is asking the wife to do something like steal, cheat on taxes, put up with abusive husband, sleep with another person, etc. Because of people using it as a loophole, real problems get pushed aside sometimes with the advice to submit and God will protect you. Then, when you follow that advise and in up a a dangerous or craptastic situation, you get a double dose of guilt - both from feeling like you've sinned or done wrong and from feeling like if you'd have been godly enough maybe you would have been protected or rescued from the situation.

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Oh wow. I found Anna's current blog, and found this... thekingscourts.blogspot.com/2012/04/dads-and-daughters-dancing.html

Squicked out. Big time.

Those girls. Their lack of form... The former dancer in me is crying and wondering why the hell those girls are wearing leotards and ballet slippers when they appear to have had zero formal training--especially that one at the bottom. Your turnout starts with your hips, girlie! Though, after looking at The King's Praise Ballet site it appears that turnout is "immodest" or something. Ugh.

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