Dear Jim Bob and Michelle

[Buzzard]

I sent an email to them right after I met them 2 years ago. About a week later I got a canned response with various paragraphs, none of them related to my email.

[LostSamurai]

Dear Duggars,

Next time you want to travel to another country, do your research first and stop assuming that everyone wants to be redeemed. I bet you probaly never taught the Duggarlings about the history of Europe or even how Japan and China are mostly Buddhist/Shinto. I bet you never taught any of the Duggarlings about the different temples in Japan or even the Great Wall of China itself other than 'LOOKITDAT!' I don't really care if you're going on a mission trip....that's fine...but goddamn it....be respectful of other cultures!

Don't go into a restaurant expecting something 'Murrican. You're in Japan for fuck's sake; live a little, try some sushi or okinakimyi(spelling) and don't go "ITS WEIRD" like you did with the Ethiopean place in DC. Guess what? Not everyone eats burgers, fries and whatever Smugs gets at the Silver Dollar Place all the time. Trust me, God doesn't care.

And for Pete's sake, stop assuming that everyone speaks English.

Otherwise, act like reasonable people and learn to embrace different cultures, instead of condemining everything as not Christian = terrible. Everyone worships a God, just under different names that's all. Some don't worship at all. God's cool with that. Fuck Gothard. Y'all need to leave him.

[Avalondaughter]

My letter would be:

Dear Jim Bob and Michelle,

In protecting your children from the evils of the world, you have filled them with the inability for them to be truly compassionate and empathic. You've raised children that are as least "Christ-like" as you could get. Jesus traveled the country, hung out with "the wrong sorts", had a few drinks now and then, made mistakes, etc. And, while you constantly go on about how Jesus is the one true role model and you want your children to be like him, you do nothing to allow them to follow in his footsteps. The closest your children come to a "Mary Magdalen" type figure is your niece, Amy, and (despite the grief people give her for her fame-whoring and her boyfriend count) she's not that bad. I doubt your children could possibly see the good in someone who chose a "more seductive" lifestyle than you allow, like Jesus did. In fact, your children, particularly your older daughters, regularly judge the choices and desires of others as if they themselves get to determine who is admitted into heaven. Though, this sense of entitlement isn't something they just developed on their own. Your own actions and words emulated the perfect example of a self-centered, holier-than-thou, damning person.

On the rare occasions that your children are given the opportunity to experience the world, and see the wonders that your god has created, you waste no time in convincing them that these new things are evil, reminding them to take their gender appropriate role, and serving to entertain the younger ones while completely ignoring the fact that the majority of your children are no longer under the age of 10 -- in fact, only 5 of your 19 children are under the age of 10. While I understand that it can be hard to keep the young ones entertained when doing activities geared towards the older children, you should make a greater attempt at playing towards the interests of the majority.

On many occasions, we've watched as your family partakes in activities that describe your believes of what the bible says. On one such occasion, we watched your family tour a "science" museum in which Jesus was depicted as having been with the dinosaurs, stated the world was only 10000 years old, evolution is a made up story, and claimed that fossils were incorrect/a tool to convince people that the creation story is not true. I must ask you, under what authority do you have to determine the power of god? You believe that god created the world and inspired people to write the bible, do you not? Why must you then put your definition of a day as the definition god uses for a day? God existed before the sun, did he not? Therefore he had to have some way to measure a day that would not have required the sun. So why make "the 7 days" 7 earth days? What if it hasn't even been a god day since the creation of Adam? Furthermore, why must evolution be false? The bible says we're all created in gods image, does it not? When creating art or music, writing stories, learning the basics of existence (walking, eating, breathing), or otherwise performing/learning a new skill/trade, our work gets gradually better, does it not? When learning to draw a person, a child may start off with a head that has arms sprouting out where the ears should be and legs coming out of the chin; yet with time, patience, and a better understanding of how to control and manipulate their mediums, a person can learn to be a master of drawn/painted portraits creating works of art so close to reality that you'd swear it was a photograph. Knowing this, and knowing that we're created in god's image, why must you think that god got everything right on the first try?

On the topic of getting things right on the first try, I still do not understand why you don't allow anything other than courtships -- I know you claim it's the child's decision, but lets be honest: after the amount of indoctrination and peer pressure your children face, they're only ever going to come out with the goals you want for them. You claim that a person's heart should not be broken because you're "giving pieces of your heart away." But, you'll do a complete about-face and claim that you should have as many children as possible. If each person you date steals a piece of your heart and leaves you with less of a heart to give, wouldn't the same be true for children? In which case, your first child would have the majority of your love and your last child would have the least of your love. If you don't lose pieces of your heart to your children, why would you lose pieces of your heart to your previous significant others?

Furthermore, what makes you think that you'd be able to pick out the perfect person for your daughter to marry? If my family believed in courtships like yours does, I would have been married to my first boyfriend, whom I dated at the age of 16. He was "perfect": he belonged to my family's churches (we had two because the youth group was a combination of the two); he came from a large family; he wanted a large family; he had already "graduated" (having done a homeschooling program that had him out at the age of 15) and was enrolled in a college with a career in mind; he was part of the CORE Team (teen leaders of the youth groups at our churches') with my cousins and me which was lead by my aunt; he was a member of the church band; he played two instruments; he was my cousins' best friend; my cousin was the one who introduced us; he was respectful to his parents; he was respectful to my family; he treated me well in front of people; and the list continues. However, he was abusive physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually. One day, while getting ready for a church function, he pushed me against the wall and forced his hands into my pants. Another day, while hanging outside of the CORE Team room during a break, he decided it would be funny to roundhouse kick me in the jaw. He constantly belittled me. He decided to flirt with one of my best friends on a day he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him. And, on the last day I saw him, he tried to rape me while we were supposed to be tending to his younger siblings. When his plan failed because I kneed him in the groin and got away from him as fast as possible, he broke up with me on the grounds that I wasn't "easy enough" for him, stealing the last bit of dignity I had left because I didn't even get the satisfactions of ending the relationship. Now, you don't allow your children any alone time with their future spouse, you choose their spouse based on things you think are important, etc. You set your children up to be married into a relationship like the one I had the fortune to escape.

Last but not least, if you truly want to worship the lord and praise him for his blessings, I really think you ought to focus on nurturing your children. I dont mean just spending time with them, I mean figure out what their strengths are and help them achieve them. For instance, when Justin expressed an interest in getting a trumpet, you should have taken him to a store where he would have found a good quality one (not taken him to some pawn store; your rich enough to afford to buy appropriate gifts) and gotten him lessons. Instead, you had him settle for an impulse buy that more than likely was quickly passed on to another kid and/or completely forgotten. And, with Jinger expressing an interest in photography, you should at least be sending her to photography workshops where she'll learn how to capture the look she's going for. Sure a camera crew around your house could help Jinger, but there's only so much she can learn from surrounding herself with the same people day in and day out. And, with so many different forms of photography and methods of capturing "the perfect shot," she's missing out on so much by not being allowed those opportunities. Once she develops her craft, she should be able to start a business which would allow her to share the talent instilled in her. Having a talent but not being allowed to develop or sharing it is not only the most wasteful use of a life, but it's also the most insulting thing you can do to your child.

Sincerely,

Me

^This

[Miggy]

Has anyone ever tried IRL to write either one of them a letter?

Is there an email address anywhere?

It seems astonishing to me that they are immune to the criticisms of themselves out there. No introspection whatsoever.

How about writing the young adult girls letters? Telling them they do not have to remain their parents prisoners for the rest of their lives?

Yes & Yes. There is an email address on their website and they claim to read all letters sent to them.

I wrote to them asking about modesty as behaviour rather than modesty as dress. No reply. (Automatic emails are not a reply in my world.) I don't actually care about getting a response but I find it funny that they keep claiming to read all letters and never add "but we don't reply to them".

In contrast, I know Steve Maxwell reads what I write because he deletes it. I assume Doug Phillips's mail is read by an intern. Both the PP and Zsu Zsu answer emails and are well worth an argument.