Doug Phillip Is A Tool - 18 Visions for 2013

[hoipolloi]

And they're doozies (download.visionforum.com/documents/year_end/Lessons_and_Visions_2012.pdf), such as a family tour of Greece, allegedly to follow in Paul's footsteps:

A 3-D Perspective on the Ministry of the Apostle Paul ‘In the Footsteps of Paul’ Tour to New Testament Greece

In 2013, VFM will take families to the location of one of the greatest apologetic ministries in history—New Testament Greece. There we will walk in the footsteps of Paul the Apostle and chronicle his ministry, his message, and the unfolding story of New Testament Christianity during the Apostolic era. From Athens to Corinth, from Thessalonica to Ephesus, we will remember the antithesis between Jerusalem and Athens and the message that turned the world upside down.

Or maybe you'd like to go on the fathers-and-sons Hazardous Journey to Alaska (sorry, gals, you need not apply for this one):

Men and Future Men vs. The Wilderness. HJS Takes Fathers and Sons Into the Alaskan Outback

What if you found yourself in the wilderness with only your wits, some basic tools, and your knowledge of the outdoors to keep you warm and fed? Could you survive? This year, VFM’s Hazardous Journeys Society will be working with trained guides to take fathers and sons on a great Alaskan adventure that will test their limits and teach them teamwork and basic survival skills. It’s all part of our ongoing mission to build a 21st century man, one who is about the

task of dominion, who is willing to take intelligent risks in pursuit of important missions, and who is training the next generation of men in biblical manhood.

Without a doubt, though, the one I'd like to be a fly on the wall at attend is this one:

Tools, Tools, Tools! VFM to Produce Strategic Tools to Equip Families

One mission of Vision Forum Ministries in 2013 is to produce fresh, biblical, and timely messages and materials for the Christian home. Historically, the Lord has blessed this effort, and we seek His blessing again this year. Over the course of a given year, VFM messages often reach hundreds of thousands of homes and individuals. Our radio show presently broadcasts in more than 12 countries on more than 700 radio stations. Please remember to pray for our publishing and production branch of the ministry. We believe in the power of the written and spoken word and desire to use available technology to get a Gospel message of hope to millions.

Because it needs to be said all year around, even during the holidays: Doug Phillips Is A Tool.

NRA Guns Boeher Doug Phillips Is a Tool Obama Fiscal Cliff

[Witsec7]

Even though Doug Phillips (is a tool) manly romps are pretty cream puff outings, I'd still like to see Smuggar go on one. :D

[Maggie Mae]

WTF is the "Alaskan Outback"?

I can not wait to see what kind of "adventure" he passes off as "manly".

[sassycupcake]

Vision Forum really has a conference entitled "Tools! Tools! Tools!" ? :lol: I'm dying!

Either Doug Phillips (is a tool) has decided to capitalize on the fact that Doug Phillips is a Tool, or there's an intern who is secretly one of us! :lol:

[Coconut Flan]

Doug Phillips doing a tool adventure warms my cold, cold heart. Someone in that organization has a sense of humor.

[Anxious Girl]

Why not do other Biblical countries such as Egypt, India, Israel, Italy, Jordan, Lebanon, Libya and Syria just to name a few? Oh, wait, that's gonna be part of your series probably. :roll: From the last part, I think DOUG PHILIPS IS A TOOL has been reading our forum when he brainstorms his ideas. :lol:

[treemom]

Vision forum likes to stalk my vacations, but apparently Kilimanjaro is too manly for them ;).

But really...I suspect Alaska is going to be just as difficult S their amazon journey was. Which is to say not

[jenny_islander]

WTF is the "Alaskan Outback"?

I can not wait to see what kind of "adventure" he passes off as "manly".

Camping in one of the snow lots out back of a Wal-Mart, I suspect.

Psst, Doug: It's called the Bush.

While I normally like to keep the boneheaded greenhorn quotient of my state rather lower, I would love to have him up here, please please please, because Alaskans blog just like anybody else and we LOVE to pass around dumb tourist stories! The sillier Doug Phillips is a Tool looks, the fewer people he is likely to suck into his moneymaking schemes.

ETA: Hey, Doug (Phillips is a Tool), I had to pass a survival course as a test of maturity. I was trying to go from junior high to high school, and in those days you had to describe what you would eat if marooned on an Alaskan beach, build a survival shelter, and jump off the high diving board while wearing a survival suit in order to get full credit for 8th grade. Now, if you want to surpass womanly old me, you will have to top that. I suggest finding the elusive snipe, which lurks around alder hells and stands of devil's club. Look very closely for a long time, and you might see one!

[lilith]

This is the second time he's advertised his own tooliness. I really am starting to suspect an intern with a sense of humour.

[terranova]

WTF is the "Alaskan Outback"?

I can not wait to see what kind of "adventure" he passes off as "manly".

Maybe he thinks they have kangaroos?

[Sola]

Greece is quite cheap to visit atm, no surprise he's going there. As far Alaska, he'll probably stay in a hotel in Fairbanks then throw a snowball, saying what a dangerous mission it was. I want to see him go Bear Grylls style; go drink your own pee Dougie!

[JesusFightClub]

I'm hoping that a riot kicks off the same time they're in Greece. I love riot porn and Doug Philips Is A Tool being caught up in it would only make it better.

Mind you I also love Greece (some of its many good features are AreteJo being from there and communism everywhere you look, as well as sun and friendly people and lovely food) so I kind of don't want him stepping his foot on it...

[Kailis]

Tools, Tools, Tools! VFM to Produce Strategic Tools to Equip Families

Does Dougie think that if he uses the word 'tool' in connection with his brand enough times, "Doug Phillips is a tool" won't be the forth suggestion that pops up after his name on Google?

Because that's kind of adorable if he does. Almost as adorable as his Alaskan romp will be. :lol:

[JesusFightClub]

OMG Kailis! Hadn't thought of that!

I was subscribing to the Mischievous Intern Theory...

[mkitten]

Does anyone else picture Doug Phillips is a Tool taking a fancy Alaskan cruise and just snapping pictures of his 'manly adventures' at the various ports? He'd have to photoshop out pictures of the 70 and 80 year old grandma's elbowing him out of their way to hike to the top of the hiking trails they pick for tourists, but meh.

[Bbfamteam]

He's probably trying to spin the google and tell his followers "Doug Phillips is a Tool for Jesus" Of course we all know better. But deep down I secretly hope there is an intern with a sense of humor.

[fundiefan]

Over compensation it its clearest form.

[Sweetpea1]

Doug is the tool of all tools. (Almost had the typo of the year and wrote that Dougie is the troll of all tools.)

[Terrie]

Camping in one of the snow lots out back of a Wal-Mart, I suspect.

Psst, Doug: It's called the Bush.

But that make cause impure thoughts!

[Olive Plant]

Tools, Tools, Tools! VFM to Produce Strategic Tools to Equip Families

It is impossible to come up with a better snark headline than this. Strategic Tools that Equip Families. Oh, my sweet Jesus.

Possible explanation: they were trying to Take Dominion over the Doug Phillips Is A Tool Campaign. So they, in their supreme ignorance, made it way worse on themselves.

[Maggie Mae]

But that make cause impure thoughts!

Part of me hopes he takes the interns to visit The Great Alaskan Bush Company But I know that won't happen, even with a fun "mix-up."

I'm sure that he will take a manly romp that starts on a cruise ship, perhaps out of Vancouver. It says they will work with "trained guides," so I'm sure there will be wildlife sightings (perhaps at the Conservation Center or the Nature Center, somewhere where the animals are accustomed to humans), perhaps they will climb a 3,500 ft mountain that school children climb, and maybe feed a sled dog or something.

Maybe someone will teach them how to actually pack a backpack? I'm guessing Doug will need several costume changes, and perhaps an expensive leather bag. Oh god, Doug, please go to the Native American Heritage Center. Actually, no, don't. You don't know how to be respectful of other people.

[Dysfundamental]

Doug Phillips is a tool. An adventure tool, a strategic tool, a delicious chocolate tool (white chocolate only, plz). Doug Phillips? Is a tool. The tooliest of tools. Bob the Builder would be thrilled to find a tool as multiple-purpose as Doug Phillips (is a tool).

And the He-Man Women Haters' Club, No Girls Allowed group outings are hilarious. Look at all those pasty boys playing pirate! So manly, just like Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Starfish, those manly manly men.

[lilith]

But that make cause impure thoughts!

Not in Doug it his interns.

[Guest Anonymous]

Part of me hopes he takes the interns to visit The Great Alaskan Bush Company But I know that won't happen, even with a fun "mix-up."

I'm sure that he will take a manly romp that starts on a cruise ship, perhaps out of Vancouver. It says they will work with "trained guides," so I'm sure there will be wildlife sightings (perhaps at the Conservation Center or the Nature Center, somewhere where the animals are accustomed to humans), perhaps they will climb a 3,500 ft mountain that school children climb, and maybe feed a sled dog or something.

Maybe someone will teach them how to actually pack a backpack? I'm guessing Doug will need several costume changes, and perhaps an expensive leather bag. Oh god, Doug, please go to the Native American Heritage Center. Actually, no, don't. You don't know how to be respectful of other people.

He'll probably dress like one of Robert Peary's poker buddies, complete with fur-trimmed anorak.

[Dysfundamental]

There are strange things done in the midnight sun

Where the fundies romp and play

The Arctic trails have their secret tales

That could make a Dawkins pray;

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights

That reflect in an ice-choked pool

But there's nothing here that is quite as queer

As the manly Doug the Tool.

(with apologies to "The Cremation of Sam McGee" by Robert W. Service)