Barbara Curtis of Mommy Life passed away

[bunny]

She was the blogger who had 12 children, some adopted, also well known for adopting children with Down's Syndrome.

I hadn't been to her blog in ages but she was mentioned here today-another newer freejingerite noticed but doesn't have front page posting privileges yet. Apparently from a little googling Barbara had had a stroke on Sunday and passed today.

Thought you all might want to know.

[bunny]

Oh, and credit goes to Curly Girl, who was the aforementioned poster who brought it up in the other thread.

[tropaka]

how old was this woman? Were her children still minors?

[hoipolloi]

How sad, and how hard for her family - there are still several kids at home, IIRC.

ETA a response to tropaka: the kids at home include the four Down Syndrome boys, who are in intermediate or high school, I believe, although the oldest might have graduated. Otherwise, her kids are pretty well grown & out of the house, with several of them married.

I've followed her blog for years and while it frequently raised some serious hackles, she occasionally said some good things, such as the Jennie Chancey smackdown and a strong condemnation of the Pearls.

[Curly Girl]

Oh, and credit goes to Curly Girl, who was the aforementioned poster who brought it up in the other thread.

Thanks for the credit! :)

[Curly Girl]

How sad, and how hard for her family - there are still several kids at home, IIRC.

ETA a response to tropaka: the kids at home include the four Down Syndrome boys, who are in intermediate or high school, I believe, although the oldest might have graduated. Otherwise, her kids are pretty well grown & out of the house, with several of them married.

I've followed her blog for years and while it frequently raised some serious hackles, she occasionally said some good things, such as the Jennie Chancey smackdown and a strong condemnation of the Pearls.

I could have done without all of her political posts, but I really appreciated that she acknowledged that moms need to be politically aware. I also really enjoyed her Montessori posts and reading about her journey into Catholicism.

And, unlike many of the people mentioned on this board, she actually let her children grow up, follow their dreams, and live independently.

[hoipolloi]

how old was this woman? Were her children still minors?

Not sure of her age but think she was in her early 60s.

[Katiedarling]

I'm so saddened by this- my heart hurts for her children and husband. Barbara was such an incredibly complex and unique person. I rarely agreed with her, but I always respected the way she clearly chose her own path and allowed her children to do the same. She certainly didn't seem concerned with being popular or presenting a carefully crafted image/brand. I will miss her.

[maybeizfundie]

So sad for her family. :( This will be hard on all of them but I'm especially thinking of the 4 youngest. All with Down's Syndrome. She was raising them to be self-sufficient and independent as much as possible with their special needs but I know there is no way they were ready to lose their mom so suddenly and completely.

[Burris]

I feel sad for her family, but am relieved that most of her kids are grown enough to have families of their own (and likely stability and room for their minor or otherwise disabled siblings).

Of her life, Curtis wrote...

With most of my children grown and either married, in college or pursuing careers, my life has moved into another season of motherhood, one of great satisfaction as my children handle the trials and triumphs of adulthood on their own while trusting in their dad and me for counsel and prayer. We are blessed beyond words that with one exception, our kids have remained close and loving and a big part of ours and each others' lives.

To me, that's about as good as any life can get before the natural event of death:

*** A long and happy marriage - her second, which lasted against all the odds.

*** Close family. Dear friends.

*** Most mistakes had long since been rectified, though sadly not all.

*** A group of satisfying careers - mother, teacher, and author among them - that made her happy.

*** While most might not appreciate it, the manner of Curtis' death – quickly, rather than after a long illness – is also a blessing of sorts.

And, unlike many others thus blessed, Curtis not only recognized her privilege but expressed thankfulness for it and tried, in her own way, to extend the same benefits to other people.

Judging by the content of her blog, controversial as much of it was, Barbara Curtis lived according to the following principle:

“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.†- Charles Spurgeon

[alysee]

How sad, and how hard for her family - there are still several kids at home, IIRC.

ETA a response to tropaka: the kids at home include the four Down Syndrome boys, who are in intermediate or high school, I believe, although the oldest might have graduated. Otherwise, her kids are pretty well grown & out of the house, with several of them married.

I've followed her blog for years and while it frequently raised some serious hackles, she occasionally said some good things, such as the Jennie Chancey smackdown and a strong condemnation of the Pearls.

I hate to be hand sloppy but it's not very PC to be referring to her children with Downs Syndrome as the Down Syndrome boys. They are ppl with likes, dislikes, wants and needs. For me it's pretty close to saying the R word. It's person first, disease/disorder second.

[Guest Anonymous]

I hate to be hand sloppy but it's not very PC to be referring to her children with Downs Syndrome as the Down Syndrome boys. They are ppl with likes, dislikes, wants and needs. For me it's pretty close to saying the R word. It's person first, disease/disorder second.

Barbara Curtis herself used "Downs Syndrome Teen" as a recent blog post title (http://mommylife.net/archives/2012/09/b ... own_s.html); while it may not be the appropriate term in your own location, it isn't considered an offensive use of language across the globe. Hoi tends to be a reasoned and respectful poster, in my experience. I'd be inclined to put this down to cultural differences or even plain old 'hand sloppy' typing, than any intention to imply that people with Downs Syndrome are any less than the rest of us. ;)

As to Barbara Curtis, I think it is always sad when a family faces the untimely loss of a parent, but I just can't make a posthumous pet fundie of this one. She seemed to retain her homophobic, anti-choice beliefs to the end as far as I can see, and those aren't cancelled out in my mind, by her taking a stand against the utterly indefensible Pearls.

I hope that family and friends are able to support Tripp to mobilise some appropriate and willing support to help him work out the continuing care of the boys he adopted, and that his other children are not forced into becoming surrogate parents to their dependent siblings, unless that is something that they personally want and feel equipped to handle.

[Guest Anonymous]

I hate to be hand sloppy but it's not very PC to be referring to her children with Downs Syndrome as the Down Syndrome boys. They are ppl with likes, dislikes, wants and needs. For me it's pretty close to saying the R word. It's person first, disease/disorder second.

In the English language, descriptors come before the nouns. Somewhere along the line someone decided the only PC way to describe people is to have the noun for the person first. In Spanish it's correct to have noun then descriptive. Car blue, woman white, pool big, dog small. English is the opposite, and it's not an insult. It's just how this language is formed.

[lilwriter85]

I feel for Barbara's family especially her sons with Down Syndrome. I first found Barbara's blog back in 2009 before I knew about FJ. Her youngest biological child Maddie auditioned for American Idol and part of her audition segment focused on how Maddie helped with Jonathan the biological child with DS and the three adopted boys. I googled Maddie's name and found some mommy message board where Barbara used to post on and she had a link to her blog. I wasn't a frequent reader of her blog. i would check out once in awhile. I wasn't a huge fan of Barbara and that homophboic posting about Amazon pissed me off. But she wasn't as a bad as some of the other bloggers we talk about here and she seemed to do well when it came to caring for her DS sons.

[rollmeover]

I hate to be hand sloppy but it's not very PC to be referring to her children with Downs Syndrome as the Down Syndrome boys. They are ppl with likes, dislikes, wants and needs. For me it's pretty close to saying the R word. It's person first, disease/disorder second.

I agree 100%. It is more respectful of the personhood of someone with downs syndrome to say "a young man with downs syndrome" rather than "a downs syndrome boy" or whatever - language absolutely matters: same way I don't like being called a rape victim and always use rape survivor. But Barbara did call her children who have DS "the downzers" - which always made my hackles rise: describing them collectively and by a cute form of a condition they have.

[fundiefan]

Barbara Curtis herself used "Downs Syndrome Teen" as a recent blog post title (http://mommylife.net/archives/2012/09/b ... own_s.html); while it may not be the appropriate term in your own location, it isn't considered an offensive use of language across the globe. Hoi tends to be a reasoned and respectful poster, in my experience. I'd be inclined to put this down to cultural differences or even plain old 'hand sloppy' typing, than any intention to imply that people with Downs Syndrome are any less than the rest of us. ;)

As to Barbara Curtis, I think it is always sad when a family faces the untimely loss of a parent, but I just can't make a posthumous pet fundie of this one. She seemed to retain her homophobic, anti-choice beliefs to the end as far as I can see, and those aren't cancelled out in my mind, by her taking a stand against the utterly indefensible Pearls.

I hope that family and friends are able to support Tripp to mobilise some appropriate and willing support to help him work out the continuing care of the boys he adopted, and that his other children are not forced into becoming surrogate parents to their dependent siblings, unless that is something that they personally want and feel equipped to handle.

I agree. I never liked her; she gets so 'in your face' and woe be to you if you disagree or believe or act differently. She may have done some good things, but she was kind of a bitch overall. I can't spit out the bones and keep the rest.

I feel for her family, as I would/do any family who loses a loved one. I wish them the best and a peaceful adjustment to their new lives. But, I cannot suddenly decide she was a decent person simply because of her death.

[Pattypoundcake]

I will start by saying it is very sad she died.

I will also say by reading her bio, I know her type of person very well. Very liberal feminist, two kids out of wedlock, addiction, etc. She seems to the type who does nothing halfway. She got sober and found Jesus so everyone else needs to believe what she believes. She was probably just as annoying when she was a left-leaning feminist. She reminds me (in a small way) of people who find a diet that works for them and then have to make sure everyone knows about it, and lets everyone she believes is in need of the diet is shamed into it.

Glad to see she put her money where her pro-life mouth is by adopting special needs kids. That is a lot more than some will ever do.

[lilwriter85]

I will start by saying it is very sad she died.

I will also say by reading her bio, I know her type of person very well. Very liberal feminist, two kids out of wedlock, addiction, etc. She seems to the type who does nothing halfway. She got sober and found Jesus so everyone else needs to believe what she believes. She was probably just as annoying when she was a left-leaning feminist. She reminds me (in a small way) of people who find a diet that works for them and then have to make sure everyone knows about it, and lets everyone she believes is in need of the diet is shamed into it.

Glad to see she put her money where her pro-life mouth is by adopting special needs kids. That is a lot more than some will ever do.[/quote]

I also have to give Barbara credit when it comes to that.

[stonefruit]

As to Barbara Curtis, I think it is always sad when a family faces the untimely loss of a parent, but I just can't make a posthumous pet fundie of this one. She seemed to retain her homophobic, anti-choice beliefs to the end as far as I can see, and those aren't cancelled out in my mind, by her taking a stand against the utterly indefensible Pearls.

No matter how sad I feel for her kids and husband, and how much I wish them peace and healing after her death, it remains the case that she was a nasty piece of work - some of the cruelest, most incendiary writing I've seen on fundie blogs came from her site. No pet fundie here; I always got the impression that she'd as soon shoot me for sport as help me carry my groceries if it came to that.

[Emme]

No matter how sad I feel for her kids and husband, and how much I wish them peace and healing after her death, it remains the case that she was a nasty piece of work - some of the cruelest, most incendiary writing I've seen on fundie blogs came from her site. No pet fundie here; I always got the impression that she'd as soon shoot me for sport as help me carry my groceries if it came to that.

Definitely true. NOT a particularly kind lady, though my heart does go out to her kids since they've lost their mom.

[Katydid]

How incredibly sad. I feel for her family.

[GolightlyGrrl]

I bet she's rolling in her grave over the election.

[hoipolloi]

I bet she's rolling in her grave over the election.

+1.

Sorry for her family but NOT sorry to see an end to all of the racist anti-Obama crap that she posted continually.

[stonefruit]

+1.

Sorry for her family but NOT sorry to see an end to all of the racist anti-Obama crap that she posted continually.

I actually hadn't visited her blog for some time and only found out that she had died because the morning after the election, I thought, hmmm, wonder what bigoted invective I can find on her website about the presidential election (especially VA going blue!).

[klf7412]

I hate to be hand sloppy but it's not very PC to be referring to her children with Downs Syndrome as the Down Syndrome boys. They are ppl with likes, dislikes, wants and needs. For me it's pretty close to saying the R word. It's person first, disease/disorder second.

I was just about to write the same comment.. "person with down syndrome" not "down syndrome person"