Hollabak! Ending street sexual harassment

[Swamptribe]

Inspired by a CNN article (http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/06/living/st ... ?hpt=hp_c1) and the thread below where the Mormons encourage sexual stereotyping I'd like to post this link to Hollaback. A website designed to help end sexual harassment of women on the street.

http://www.ihollaback.org/

Instead of blaming the victim, as so many in todays society seem to want to do. Lets focus on the real culprits behind sexual harassment. Men who exhibit no self control or courtesy.

[SpeakNow]

Instead of blaming the victim, as so many in todays society seem to want to do. Lets focus on the real culprits behind sexual harassment. Men who exhibit no self control or courtesy.

Amen to that!

[Claddagh]

Instead of blaming the victim, as so many in todays society seem to want to do. Lets focus on the real culprits behind sexual harassment. Men who exhibit no self control or courtesy.

Definately!

I get so tired of this argument of "You must secretly enjoy it!" or "At least someone finds you attractive!" It's not about looks to these people, it's about power.

[Hane]

Definitely!

I get so tired of this argument of "You must secretly enjoy it!" or "At least someone finds you attractive!" It's not about looks to these people, it's about power.

When my daughter was in high school, she had to stop taking the long walks she loved, because of the number of random jamokes yelling "compliments" at her or pulling over and offering her rides--even though she was wearing baggy jeans and sweatshirts. Now, she can't even ride a bike, go running, or take her little boy to the park without her husband, because she's so tired of getting hit on. The flip side of this crap is that I can't seem to take a walk without having to endure insults about my weight or appearance.

I am weary of this old saw about men "not being able to help it" that they're turned on by "visual stimuli," so we women should just suck it up. Worse are the women who ally themselves with these macho douches. In the comments section of this article, men and women alike blamed "women running around with their +!+s and @$$es hanging out"; sneered at the writer, because, "Seriously? Who finds YOU attractive, you hag?"; and pulled out the old chestnut, "The only women who complain about this are old and/or ugly and JEALOUS of all the positive attention the hot chicks get!"

Claddagh's bolded comment above sums it all up. Women get judged and objectified on a daily basis, on whether or not Teh Menz find us attractive, and, hence, worthwhile. It bites, big time.

[Sola]

I'm so pleased, there's a Hollabak here in the UK, in my own town. If I can afford something at the end of year, I'll be looking to donate to them.

[samithemage]

When my daughter was in high school, she had to stop taking the long walks she loved, because of the number of random jamokes yelling "compliments" at her or pulling over and offering her rides--even though she was wearing baggy jeans and sweatshirts. Now, she can't even ride a bike, go running, or take her little boy to the park without her husband, because she's so tired of getting hit on. The flip side of this crap is that I can't seem to take a walk without having to endure insults about my weight or appearance.

I am weary of this old saw about men "not being able to help it" that they're turned on by "visual stimuli," so we women should just suck it up. Worse are the women who ally themselves with these macho douches. In the comments section of this article, men and women alike blamed "women running around with their +!+s and @$$es hanging out"; sneered at the writer, because, "Seriously? Who finds YOU attractive, you hag?"; and pulled out the old chestnut, "The only women who complain about this are old and/or ugly and JEALOUS of all the positive attention the hot chicks get!"

Claddagh's bolded comment above sums it all up. Women get judged and objectified on a daily basis, on whether or not Teh Menz find us attractive, and, hence, worthwhile. It bites, big time.

I'm not anywhere near the "hot chick" that we're all "jealous" of, but I get cat called at fairly frequently. I used to just roll my eyes and think..."does that ever get you anywhere?" Lately I've realized just how offensive and sexist the whole idea is. It doesn't matter if my top is "low cut" or if my shorts or skirt are "short." I can wear whatever I want and expect to be treated like a human being and not a sex object.

[Claddagh]

I'm not anywhere near the "hot chick" that we're all "jealous" of, but I get cat called at fairly frequently. I used to just roll my eyes and think..."does that ever get you anywhere?" Lately I've realized just how offensive and sexist the whole idea is. It doesn't matter if my top is "low cut" or if my shorts or skirt are "short." I can wear whatever I want and expect to be treated like a human being and not a sex object.

I'm not even close to the "hot chick" idea and I get hit on by men twice my age. I've had one say he didn't know I was "one of those" when I told him not to call me "baby". I'm assuming by that he means feminist.

Today I went out wearing jeans, a buckle hat, and a too large t-shirt. Some guy in his 50's kept whistling at me and became angry when I ignored him.

When I told Dad about it he asked what was so bad about being whistled at? I told him I wasn't a piece of meat and that I desrved to be treated like a human being. He shrugged and said that I had better get used to it because "it's not hurting anyone". :doh:

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm not pretty and I always cover-up when I go outside (it's an obsessive thing). Essentially, every single outfit I wear could double as men's pyjamas. I still get the 'pretty lady, pretty lady' thing from random men in the street. It's not about us, how we look, how we conduct ourselves, or who we are. It's just a thing that happens.

[salsa]

forget the streets; be in a position of service (cashier, administrative assistant, restaurant server, store clerk) and you're free game. And you're stuck there and you have to be polite, because anyone who'd talk like that has the potential to raise a stink about your poor customer service. A good boss would recognize the assholeness of the asshole, and trust your otherwise good customer service skills, but not all bosses are good bosses.... :whistle:

There is protection from co-workers sexually harassing you, but what about the customers?

eta: to explain that "forget the streets" is not to be taken literally. "Forget _____!" is an exclamation that I'm not sure I can define accurately. It doesn't mean literally "forget," but is a way to say, "Yeah, that ... and how about THIS, too!" ... it occurred to me after I posted that not everyone might be familiar with this exclamation.

[samithemage]

forget the streets; be in a position of service (cashier, administrative assistant, restaurant server, store clerk) and you're free game. And you're stuck there and you have to be polite, because anyone who'd talk like that has the potential to raise a stink about your poor customer service. A good boss would recognize the assholeness of the asshole, and trust your otherwise good customer service skills, but not all bosses are good bosses.... :whistle:

There is protection from co-workers sexually harassing you, but what about the customers?

When I worked in the restaurant business, my boss was the one sexually harassing me, I was just too young and naive to realize it at the time. I just knew that I felt uncomfortable when after we closed, he followed me into the restrooms while I was cleaning them and close the door. He would offer me free cream soda (since they were bottled we had to pay for them), and would talk to me about how if he weren't married he would totally date me because I was so amazing and wonderful and that he wished we could be together I wish I would have known better because I would have filed a complaint, but I thought since nothing overt was happening that it was okay. He wasn't making specifically "sexual" remarks and he wasn't trying to touch me, so I thought it was okay, even though it wasn't.

[Claddagh]

forget the streets; be in a position of service (cashier, administrative assistant, restaurant server, store clerk) and you're free game. And you're stuck there and you have to be polite, because anyone who'd talk like that has the potential to raise a stink about your poor customer service. A good boss would recognize the assholeness of the asshole, and trust your otherwise good customer service skills, but not all bosses are good bosses.... :whistle:

There is protection from co-workers sexually harassing you, but what about the customers?

Before she died my mom worked in a paint store and would get hit on by contractors all the time. She'd ask Dad to come in when he wasn't at work and stay nearby to tell them off.

She made friends with a male employee who would order them to back off or he'd physically force them out of the store.

After a while word got around and it slowed down.

[salsa]

When I worked in the restaurant business, my boss was the one sexually harassing me, I was just too young and naive to realize it at the time. I just knew that I felt uncomfortable when after we closed, he followed me into the restrooms while I was cleaning them and close the door. He would offer me free cream soda (since they were bottled we had to pay for them), and would talk to me about how if he weren't married he would totally date me because I was so amazing and wonderful and that he wished we could be together I wish I would have known better because I would have filed a complaint, but I thought since nothing overt was happening that it was okay. He wasn't making specifically "sexual" remarks and he wasn't trying to touch me, so I thought it was okay, even though it wasn't.

That's despicable. He knew you were young and wouldn't have enough savvy to report him.

I've had bad bosses (none were like that to me, though), but the worst sexual harassment I ever endured was in a family restaurant - by the male servers. They did all of us female servers that way. I couldn't get drinks for my table in the waitstation without someone asking me what my bra size was, or if I did the 69. When I was filling the hot sauce bottles (southern-style food, so hot sauce pours freely) as my side-work, a male server rubbed me in a very suggestive way and I slammed my hands on the counter and said, "Stop It! It's not funny!" (see, when the same guy was making jerking-off motions with another server, she laughed, which pissed me off rather than making me sad that she would pretend that this was ok). He told everyone, "She told me to keep my damn hands to myself," and then there was speculation about my friendship with another female server. I went to the freezer to stock the desserts and someone had locked me in while I was in there. I'd already given my 2-week notice, but I decided to work it out. The next morning, when they (women as well as men) started the rumor that my friend and I were high and the now-returned-from-vacation bosses called us into the office to ask about it, we, of course reassured her that we weren't high (we both dropped something early on because we'd been made late for work - we drove together), we told what had been going on. I lost a lot of sleep that night, so I called my boss in the morning and said that since I only had a couple days left, anyhow, I wasn't coming in. [/off-topic]

Yes, the streets, too. I've never been hollered at or honked at TOO much, comparatively speaking (and I am somewhat pretty and have amazing hair even in my middle ages)*, but when I was a young woman, I was flattered to be honked at, it got O-L-D quickly. Guys having to say stuff, offer to put sunscreen on me at the pool... That made being called "Darlin'" or "Sugar" while working as a temporary secretary seem positively polite.

*though the years I was obese, I didn't get such attention. Still, this just proves that it's the luck of the draw.

** gee, I really like parentheses (don't I?)