Chelsy and John Maxwell 3: Will There Be a Welcome Home Party?

[Coconut Flan]

Continue the conspiracy theories from here:

 

[Palimpsest]

@JermajestyDuggar

Quote

And if you look at the bottom of the picture I posted, you'll notice a distraught looking Steve and Teri. I know none of you are shocked by this.

My guess is that either:

• they are both weeping at the thought of all those little sperm stuck in Steve's scrotum before the reversal, or
• that pic was taken when Chelsy said that she had forgotten her vows.

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

@JermajestyDuggar

My guess is that either:

• they are both weeping at the thought of all those little sperm stuck in Steve's scrotum before the reversal, or
• that pic was taken when Chelsy said that she had forgotten her vows.

I just figured that was how they looked for the entire ceremony, lol. 

[onekidanddone]

7 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

little sperm stuck in Steve's scrotum

Oh dear, I feel my dinner repeating on me. 

[Rosie]

43 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

@JermajestyDuggar

My guess is that either:

• they are both weeping at the thought of all those little sperm stuck in Steve's scrotum before the reversal, or
• that pic was taken when Chelsy said that she had forgotten her vows.

 

[lilith]

Hi Steve. I see you’ve fixed the Cathy Jo/Joy typo. Thanks for replacing the recap of your eldest son’s wedding celebrations with a snide suggestion that we don’t know where we will go when we die.

I know you’re a breast man, so this is for you.

[FloraKitty35]

18 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

Oh dear, I feel my dinner repeating on me. 

You're not alone in your sentiments. 

[lilith]

Interesting exchange. I hope their “talking time” involved Mrs Bontrager strongly encouraging Sarah to get to know some men at the forthcoming wedding and reminding her that she could still have a full life of marriage and motherhood before her.

[JermajestyDuggar]

"Talking time?"

Even the names of their conversations sound awkward...

[OhNoNike]

Not that I don’t think they read on here, because I’m sure they do...

But could have been alerted because that entry suddenly received a lot of hits, and he thought he’d reach all these people with a salvation message?  

I know some blog sites can show the author which gets lots of hits.

[snickers34]

1 minute ago, OhNoNike said:

I know some blog sites can show the author which gets lots of hits.

Yep, and the source of the hits. Ie., he could probably see that free jinger was directing traffic there....

[lilith]

Re mystery man/iPad head, he’s too large to be Josh Duggar - Josh actually seems to have lost quite a bit of weight in recent pictures. He’s also far too large to be a Maxhell suitor - Steve seems to have a horror of excess weight (despite his middle age pot belly), seeing it as a sign of gluttony, sloth and general sin and any weight gain in Maxhell calls for instant fasting and rationing of animal crackers for the whole family. He would never accept an overweight suitor for the girls and the current Maxhell brides are lucky that, so far, none of them seem to retain baby weight.

[usmcmom]

9 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

"Talking time?"

Even the names of their conversations sound awkward...

I bet *makes air quotes with fingers* Talking Time is a thing with these families. It is probably something that is on the schedule right after Bible Time.  These kidults probably grew up with the idea that having conversations with their family was only done in fifteen minute increments. More casual conversations occurred at Talking Time each evening; I'm guessing. 

[FloraKitty35]

"talking time" that sounds so stilted and stiff "chat" would have flowed more naturally.  Also, weren't the Maxwells supposed to be great conversationalists? 

[OhNoNike]

Side note: A lot more gets tracked online then I think some people realize.  

For example, I was telling a friend of mine that when you open email newsletters from places like direct sales, they track that.  I did direct sales for a couple of years (no I didn’t make money, but that’s not what I was going for anyway).  When a newsletter went out, I received an email 24 hours later telling me what email address owners clicked on what articles and when.   This helped me see who may be interested in what products based on what they clicked on, or who just deleted the email without looking.  So there’s a business reason behind it.

I personally don’t care in my personal life. I have nothing to hide.  But it sort of plays into my job, so I am careful with what newsletters I open (for contractural reasons).  

But yeah, they may not read here on the regular, but the clicks to blogs from FJ would definitely draw attention, especially when it was to an entry so long ago.

 

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

I bet *makes air quotes with fingers* Talking Time is a thing with these families. It is probably something that is on the schedule right after Bible Time.  These kidults probably grew up with the idea that having conversations with their family was only done in fifteen minute increments. More casual conversations occurred at Talking Time each evening; I'm guessing. 

Should there also be Eating Time and Excretion Time (scheduled)?  Perhaps a chart in the bathroom to confirm regularity or establish the need for dietary modification?

[CancerBomb]

Oh lord I can see it now: A Day In the Life of the Maxhells (hint: it's boring as F@#$ but I can't leave because no husband) By Sarah

7:00 AM: I'm thirty five and still sleep in the same room with my two sisters. I wish I could at least have my own space, but nope. 7:15: Pooping time. With my family's obsession with staying skinny, we eat a lot of fiber. Unlike most Fundie families, we eat decently, but not enough! 7:30: Me and my sisters make breakfast, we sometimes like to pretend we're the J-slaves! 8:00 Morning Bible time. 12:00: Lunch is an apple, a stalk of celery, and a lecture on waiting for the right guy! 1:00: Help Mama and Papa with Titus2 stuff, aka pretending we have super interesting lives! It's more interesting than Bible time though.....3:00: Listen to Papa talk about how evil his vasectomy was. I know more about his nuts than his doctor. 5:00: Make dinner. Wish for Prince Charming to come to the door. Could that be him? Nope just my brothers and their families. Hello loud little kids! 7:00: More Bible time. We're reading the same passage again. 10:00: Whew what a busy day! I wonder how we get it all done. Thanks, schedule!

 

[mango_fandango]

How bizarre that the photo at the top of this thread is of the Wissmann wedding and not the Maxwell one!! 

[Markie]

Any sightings of John and Chelsy on their honeymoon somewhere warm? Wonder what sort of bathing suit Chelsy wears? 

[CancerBomb]

@Markie I'm secretly hoping for a string bikini, if she's wearing a bathing suit at all........jk. I just hope she's figured out that there are modest swimwear options besides those Wholesome Wear atrocities. 

[lilith]

In the past the Bontrager women have been pictured in black wholesomewear and in patterned swimdress/tights combos like Zsuzsanna’s Cute and Covered design.

I happened to read an old blog post of theirs recently where Chelsy talks about them deciding “as a family” not to swim in public. They drove past a waterpark and Chelsy wistfully wished that she could go there, but of course, put it from her mind cause Bontragers don’t swim in public. But God heard her unspoken wish, and when they got home a neighbour had set up a big water slide down a hill! 

I’ve been reading bits and pieces of the early Bontrager blog lately - they had been blogging for a couple of years before I started following them, and the very early posts really show their fundiness in ways the more polished current blog doesn’t. They started blogging just before Rebecca was born, so it was more “young quiverful family” than “look at our pretty pious singing family”. 

[Themanda Duggar]

About that first kiss...  I wonder if premarital kissing in fundieland is the equivalent to premarital pregnancy in 1950s era USA, and if you’ve done it, the only responsible action is marriage.

maybe these 2 had to get married...

[lilith]

2 hours ago, Themanda Duggar said:

About that first kiss...  I wonder if premarital kissing in fundieland is the equivalent to premarital pregnancy in 1950s era USA, and if you’ve done it, the only responsible action is marriage.

maybe these 2 had to get married...

Absolutely. But I doubt John and Chelsy kissed prior to engagement. They’re not THAT “Christian risqué” (credit to Ken Alexander for that delightful term).

[nomoxian]

6 hours ago, Themanda Duggar said:

About that first kiss...  I wonder if premarital kissing in fundieland is the equivalent to premarital pregnancy in 1950s era USA, and if you’ve done it, the only responsible action is marriage.

1

It's mind-boggling to think that the Maxhell clan could be more Conservative than the Cleaver family... Leave it to, well, them!

[Rosie]

12 hours ago, lilith said:

Hi Steve. I see you’ve fixed the Cathy Jo/Joy typo. Thanks for replacing the recap of your eldest son’s wedding celebrations with a snide suggestion that we don’t know where we will go when we die.

I know you’re a breast man, so this is for you.

What did I miss?