Rabbi Leads Bride On Leash

[RR88]

...OK, so maybe I'm exaggerating. But that's what it looks like! This is what's known in Hasidic dynasties as a "mitzva tantz", where the grand rabbi parades the bride in front of hundreds (sometimes thousands) of his followers. I'm sure a few of the Jewish members of this site have seen one before (at least on YouTube).

If you thought that Christian fundie weddings marginalized the bride, take a look at this! You can't even see her face...

youtube.com/watch?v=xTWhs2OXQ_8

This one's interesting, too. The bride wears a shawl for extra modesty while her father does all the actual dancing:

youtube.com/watch?v=k7YzSPF5kNc&feature=endscreen&NR=1

[Nora509]

What exactly is the bride doing? It kind of looks like she's nodding or praying....maybe she has cramps?

[RR88]

She's "dancing", but it isn't modest for women to dance in the presence of men. So mostly she just sways and prays. In this one, she mostly turns as her father pulls her leash and his followers cheer. Her dress makes me think of the ones worn at Civil War reenactments: youtube.com/watch?v=MrwldkGwaBY&feature=related

[RR88]

maybe she has cramps?

She might. These dances sometimes go on until dawn.

[shesinsane]

A leash? The dance where the daughter and her father were both holding the edges of what seems like a really long handkerchief?

I've always seen a leash as something attached to the pet (or small child) and held by the parent. Maybe I could see the leash analogy if the handkerchief were tied around the bride, but not the way both ends were hand held both people were able to detach at will.

I noticed a lot of the men watching were loud and cheering, clapping along, but around the women's tables they all stood there like they were posing for an 1800 photographer. I guess because there were strange men in the room, they chose to remain modest in their celebrations. It still amazes me how weddings, that special union of man and woman, are held in cultures that believe in strict gender segregation.

[RR88]

It's not a literal leash, but it reminds me of one. I, too, find it strange that weddings are segregated. The women don't choose to sit behind screens and tables; they are required to.

[geniebelle6901]

Wow...that is the strangest thing I have ever seen. A bride being paraded around like a dog!

[RR88]

Here, the women sit behind a partition made of white netting. The groom is holding hands with the bride, which is usually "not done", but the rabbi pulls them apart 58 seconds into the clip: youtube.com/watch?v=O33gPFvFXvI

[Mela99]

::frowns:: I can't get it to load. Are we sure it's a leash and not a ribbon/handkerchief? I know at some Orthodox weddings that is how the bride and groom dance together on their separate sides, each holding a ribbon.

But that's... a new one.

[RR88]

For the third time, it is NOT a leash. I was being rhetorical when I called it a leash. It's a "gartel", a sort of long belt.

[Beeks]

Here, the women sit behind a partition made of white netting. The groom is holding hands with the bride, which is usually "not done", but the rabbi pulls them apart 58 seconds into the clip: youtube.com/watch?v=O33gPFvFXvI

I've seen these types of dances before (never knew the name though, thanks) but the ones you've posted seem really creepy! I think it's that the men are moving so slowly and the poor woman just looks so stiff and terrified. When I've seen this dance in the past it's much more fun and lighthearted. This just looks awful.

[longskirts]

I have plenty of criticisms of the more extreme Hasidic lifestyles, but I don't have a problem with this custom in particular. It's just a dance with a handkerchief. Looks strange of course, but that's because I'm not part of that culture and not used to watching such dances.

[RR88]

My main objection to it is that it's immodest. I don't have a problem with immodesty in and of itself, but the whole thing seems hypocritical. To me, the mitzva tantz seems very inconsistent within a society that is so focused on dressing and acting in a non-obvious manner. I hear all the time about how traditional Judaism demands modesty because it values women and keeps them from being objectified...But what's modest about parading a woman around in front of all those men? I find it objectifying.

[holothuroidea]

The handkerchief is the least disturbing thing about that video.

The men jumping up and cheering and dancing and hoo-hawing while a woman stands in the middle of the floor, covered from head to toe, dressed up like a doll, bending stiffly and moving as though she is crying or in pain... that's the most disturbing thing.

Even if she is not crying or in pain (I'm guessing she's not), the fact that she is meant to act that way while a crowd of men celebrate and dance around her is really dehumanizing and wrong on so many levels.

[longskirts]

The "bending stiffly" thing is a movement made by both men and women during prayer and some religious ceremonies. It's not specific to brides or this dance.

[RR88]

The "bending stiffly" occurs because the bride is not allowed to actually dance when men are in the room. So she faux "dances", and it ends up looking stiff.

[Nora509]

Here's a Jewish wedding dance that seems a bit more joyful...

Makes me cry every time! Such a sweet surprise and the bride's reaction is priceless. =)

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Here, the women sit behind a partition made of white netting. The groom is holding hands with the bride, which is usually "not done", but the rabbi pulls them apart 58 seconds into the clip: youtube.com/watch?v=O33gPFvFXvI

Wow, what a surreal experience that must have been for the bride to be married in front of 10,000 people as though she was a rock star in an arena and yet she almost seems unimportant to the ceremony. She gets to stand there and watch her husband dance with other men.

[Deleted03]

I've seen these types of dances before (never knew the name though, thanks) but the ones you've posted seem really creepy! I think it's that the men are moving so slowly and the poor woman just looks so stiff and terrified. When I've seen this dance in the past it's much more fun and lighthearted. This just looks awful.

you know I would be terrified or at least very uncomfortable in her place too. 100s of men in a closed room, with you being the center of attention, having to pretend dance... I dunno not my idea of a cool experience...

[Phyllis Stein]

Here's a Jewish wedding dance that seems a bit more joyful...

Makes me cry every time! Such a sweet surprise and the bride's reaction is priceless. =)

That is a very touching performance, but it is not a Jewish wedding dance. The bride and groom are Latino (not of the Jewish variety) and they had a nonreligious ceremony. Here's a NY Times writeup of their wedding. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/12/fashi ... wanted=all

[Bellatrix]

That is a very touching performance, but it is not a Jewish wedding dance. The bride and groom are Latino (not of the Jewish variety) and they had a nonreligious ceremony. Here's a NY Times writeup of their wedding. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/12/fashi ... wanted=all

Oh wow, that is the only ever video to have made me want to consider getting married and having a real wedding thing. So much fun. And yes, definitely not Jewish. This husband is da bomb. And the bride's father is really down'n'funky too. Now this is a proper love match, not the for-God-tells-my-Father-so ones we're way too used to seeing on this forum.

[MamaJunebug]

My only comment: If Doug Phillips watches these videos and is inspired by those fabulous hats and that brocade robe ... it's all FJ's doing. ;)

[lexiloumarie]

That is a very touching performance, but it is not a Jewish wedding dance. The bride and groom are Latino (not of the Jewish variety) and they had a nonreligious ceremony. Here's a NY Times writeup of their wedding. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/12/fashi ... wanted=all

I haven't clicked the link yet but I'm going to go ahead and guess Lin-Manuel and Vanessa?

Edited: Yep! He gave the funniest Tony acceptance speech ever.

[Ralar]

That is a "mitzvah tantz," the Hasidic custom of the men dancing before the bride on the wedding night, after the wedding feast. Commonly, the bride, who usually stands perfectly still at one end of the room, will hold one end of a long sash or a gartel while the one dancing before her holds the other end.

If you look in sefer דרך פיקודיך מצות ל"ת ל"ה it clearly states that you dance mitzvah tanz BEFORE the kallah (bride) not with the kallah. Some chasidim will dance with a gartel while others will without but in no case will the kallah dance, even when the father of the kallah or the chusen (groom) will hold the kallahs hand she will not dance along. Therefore, I suspect that the kallah's "swaying" is actually the shuckling that accompanies most prayer.

Mitzva tantz is meant for the kallah, not the chosson. The men at the wedding danced for the chosson, but not yet for the kallah- that's what mitzva tantz is for.

I've been to hasidic weddings, but have never seen a mitzvah tantz. Yes, it looks odd. And I wonder why the bride's face is covered by her veil. Surely, the veil was removed prior to the yichud (the bride and groom's first alone time, immediately following the wedding ceremony).

[RR88]

Yeah, that NYT article is not discussing a Jewish wedding.