MedicineMansGirl

[freejoytoo]

I don't really see how proper carseats makes her non-fundy. It's an improvement but not great.

[CanadianHippie]

Political correctness does not live here. Sorry. Translation: I don't want to have to concern myself with how other people feel.

Okay, we get it. You think climbing on fold up chairs is dangerous as do I that's why we have to remind the little kids to put the chairs up on top of the table. Keyword being little kids. They don't always remember to do that. They also don't always remember to put on their helmet. I take pictures. I take A LOT of pictures and sometimes you catch what looks to be dangerous but actually isn't as dangerous as it looks. Oh and it's not always me taking the pictures.

Translation: My picture taking is more important than their safety.

I don't know a single adult whose first response in seeing an child in their care (whether their own or someone else's) doing something dangerous is "take a picture". Typical adults would react with "ok, gotta stop this before someone gets hurt or worse."

[condom_broke_again]

Ugh! Internet is down and doing this from an iPhone is painful at best. Anyway, I've been called out and I know it. It certainly wasn't Christ like but it's what someone who has sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God sometimes does. So I ask forgiveness for my disrespect. That's legit. I'm not being a smart ass.

As for the "concern" for the safety of our children, is it an actual concern or is it a thinly veiled attempt at covering up inflammatory remarks? I was invited to come here for a conversation. If that's what you want then ask legit questions and I'll give you legit answers. Otherwise you'll fire off a volley, then I'll fire off a volley, then I'll fire off one, then your turn again. We will keep doing that over and over again. All of us continuing NOT to be Christ-like, sinning and falling short of the Glory of God.

I think what y'all don't understand is that we stand in stark contrast to the Duggars, and fundies, in general. They drive me crazy with their self righteous ways. It exists even within my own family to this day. My niece has now been kicked out of her house due to not abiding by "courtship standards" her dad demanded of her....just as I was kicked out of my house for the very same reasons at the age of 20. I am thankful for forgiveness and the mercy and grace of a living God that saves and gives freedom. Thankfully I know it now and so do my mom and dad. We have open honest relationships. I know many many people that have come out of the broken system that cannot say that and are not on speaking terms with their parents due to the havoc it wreaked within their families. The only thing we have in common with these fundies would be a large family. They make me ill with their "modesty". They do wear dresses but they're form fitting pencil skirts and tight shirts. I thought the point was to hide the feminine form so as not to cause a man to sin? Just because there's not a seam running up the middle of your crotch doesn't mean a man is not looking at you in a lustful manner. And why is it a girl's responsibility to keep her "brother" from sinning by lusting? I could understand if you're dressing like a hooker. There's purpose in that, but BG puts all the responsibility on the woman. Why does a grown woman have to ask her father for permission to do anything? Why, at 20 y/o, did my dad try to ground me? Because BG is wrong. A 2nd generation now suffers within my family because of the way I was raised. There's a blog post about the Large Family Mentality and Body Image Myth on the blog. If you can make it through it...rather long...typical of me..it explains some of my upbringing. I'll work on getting it back up tonight. I have nothing to hide but please refrain from leaving all of the mean comments. It's depressing to wake up to in the mornings.

So here it is. What you get from me is the fallen, broken, sinful person that I am. I write what's in my head and I take pictures of kids doing kid stuff. (Contrary to popular belief, they're not in life threatening danger. Different parents...different parenting styles. Thankfully I do not beat them with plumbing pipes and do not subscribe, or even begin to agree, with any of the Pearl's beliefs. My children are well behaved because I love them and stay consistent with them.) I get angry when things don't go my way or I'm accused falsely. I say things I shouldn't and I let pride dictate my steps. I'm defensive when I shouldn't be and am hurtful when I am. I'd rather fight than turn the other cheek when I reach my limit. But it's all a failure point in my life and a hindrance to the witness of my life as a Christian. There's no edited for TV version here. It's raw and unadulterated. Some of my readers have tried to put me up on a pedestal and that's a bad place to be...the fall is long and hard. They don't realize that I'm as fallible as anyone. As is evident here in these last posts.

What I am not, however, is an unhappy woman. I have my moments but I'm not unhappy. We went to hell and back in the year of '09. Yes, our 6 year old was raped and details are not up for discussion and never will be. The 2nd trimester miscarriage lasted a total of 13 weeks. And while being here after our move in '10 we have definitely endured some stuff that has not been anywhere close to fun. But I know how amazing we have it and little everyday bothers are just that. My life is what it is and I'm not going to spend it sitting around angry because my parents took BG teachings as THE way to salvation. I don't subscribe to that and we don't teach our children that either. We are also not of a quiver mindset. I do not think birth control is a sin nor do I think every couple needs to have an absurd amount of kids. I think people need to live by the convictions the Lord lays upon their own heart...and not the convictions others have been given. Fundies go wrong here in mandating that their convictions need to be everyone's and their way is the only "right" way. I wanted a big family and I have been amazingly given the opportunity to have one. I absolutely love kids and I love the noise and fun of a ton of them. I do not even begin to take that for granted in the least. So many people long for children and we, for some reason, have been given the ability to have many. We are indeed very blessed people. That's all there is to it. My kids aren't miserable and I'm not miserable because of them. I don't wish for a minute that we didn't have so many. It doesn't mean they don't drive me crazy sometimes, it just means it's people living together.

[formergothardite]

First of all, it is on the ones who claim to follow Christ to be Christ-like. Not the ones who don't. I don't but I still wouldn't stoop to calling people fat, lazy, jealous and bitter when they disagreed with me.

I wasn't being snarky, I am concerned about how you let your small children climb things and think the one photo of the small child balanced on the edge of a rail with no one around to catch her if she falls is safe. It makes me cringe just to look at it. And I think someone else brought up letting your children ride bicycles without helmets. That is also very dangerous.

Do you still stand that you don't care about being "PC"?

Did you read the links I provided for you about getting your landlord to fix your house?

[formergothardite]

And why is it a girl's responsibility to keep her "brother" from sinning by lusting? I could understand if you're dressing like a hooker

It doesn't matter how a woman is dressed, it isn't her responsibility to keep someone else from sinning.

[CanadianHippie]

I can assure you that my concern for your children's safety is a genuine concern for their health, well being and future.

I asked real questions and you came back with inflammatory remarks and justifications. You are the parent, the reason your children have you is because you understand what is dangerous and what is safe better than they do and you are supposed to be teaching it to them. Quite literally the first thing that popped into my head seeing your baby standing on that folded up chair is an image of said child moments later on the ground in a pool of blood. I've seen these things happen, I've had these things happen to me. We can't always prevent such accidents, but when we can it is up to use to step in and prevent them as soon as we see the danger. The thought of you having to deal with the grief and guilt of losing a child because you decided to take a picture before stepping in pains me and do hope, that even if you argue against what I'm saying, a part of you will still listen and you'll start being more careful.

[CanadianHippie]

And why is it a girl's responsibility to keep her "brother" from sinning by lusting? I could understand if you're dressing like a hooker

It doesn't matter how a woman is dressed, it isn't her responsibility to keep someone else from sinning.

+1. Men are capable of controlling themselves no matter how a woman or girl dresses.

[Witsec7]

Fallen, broken, sinner, blah, blah, blah. FFS you don't even know how to bucket flush a freekin' toilet, nor do you have any intention of providing your kids with functional toilet.

What a freekin christiancarpetcrapper, and this one is like a dog with a bone.

edited to add:

What I am not, however, is an unhappy woman.

Yea with the blog closed it's pretty hard for any of us to C&P the overt despair you express over your husband working shifts.

[formergothardite]

My children are well behaved because I love them and stay consistent with them

Here's the thing, if you don't want them to climb on folding chairs/shelving then you stop them every single time. You do not take pictures of it. Taking pictures isn't being consistent and sends mixed messages. If you allow them to climb on the folding chairs when someone is sitting there to catch them they will do it when someone isn't there. It is dangerous and needs to be never allowed. And since kids to get into things quickly, if you catch them, you stop them. That is what being consistent is.

[BlondeAsTheyCome]

Funny you mention never meeting an OCA1B person, because I've not either! Online I've met folks with OCA1A, OCA2 and several with OA, but I've never interacted with someone with the same type I have. I've always wondered if it somehow goes undiagnosed with how rarely I hear about it.

Regarding the glasses vs. contacts thing, it's funny you mention that glasses seem to be easier for you. I don't know if it's the style of frames I have or what, but my glasses always make me sooo dizzy (plus I feel like I belong in the ministry of silly walks when I wear them--curbs and stuff seem higher when I wear my glasses). I started wearing contacts when I was around 14 and now I just wear sunglasses when I'm not at home to avoid getting headaches and eye sunburns. I have a huge pair of aviators that cover my entire eye area and when I was in school, I was able to deal with the migraine-inducing fluorescent lights by wearing sunglasses, thanks to a doctor's note.

I was a member of the NOAH forums years ago and I got grumpy at them. When I first joined some members called me a poser, of sorts, after I posted a photo. Apparently they'd had some issues with people pretending to have albinism and there was this weird elitism going on with the OCA1A people claiming that I didn't have real albinism and that I was just some weird goth. I pointed out a few of my blotches of almost textbook 1B pigmentation and my super weird, definitely not dyed hair color (it's very light if you hold my hair straight up and look at it in the light, but laying my head it looks normal blonde) ; they stepped off and apologized, but it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Last I read there, everyone was much nicer, though! Have you been to any of the conferences? I've considered going in the past, but, again, I'm worried that I'll be seen as not "albino enough" or something. Man, that's silly of me.

I do drive with a standard license, but my doctors told me my eyes may get worse in the next 10 years or so. Between that and my (very well controlled) seizures, I'm worried I'll end up surrendering my license eventually. Fortunately, we live near NYC so there's lots of public transit options, should I end up losing it! Is there no way you can get a note from your eye doctor saying you should be allowed to drive at night or are the license conditions not modifiable? I always make road trips at night because, like you said, it really is soooo much easier to read the signs and see the lines on the road; sometimes I have to wear my sunglasses at night because of all of the damned street lights, though!

Random, but have you found that a camera's built in red eye correction doesn't work on you? I recently got married and the photographer actually complained to me that he had to go back and manually edit out the red eye I got from the flash (I warned him it would happen, but he assured me the camera wouldn't cause red eye--which, duh, I should've realized was BS considering how our eyes work)! Before we even met, I told him I had albinism and yet the first thing he said to me on my wedding day was, "Wow! You're so pale! You didn't get a tan for your wedding?!" Face. Palm. Even better, he kept yelling at me for squinting outside, because he wouldn't let me wear my shades. "It's cloudy! There's no sun!" Yeah, Mr. Photographer, I was just squinting to make myself look like a jack ass in my wedding shots. :lol: (Also, holy crap, I read your post in Chatter regarding your wedding photographer's ass hattery. I'd be SEETHING.)

This is getting super off topic, so whenever you have enough posts PM, feel free to drop me a message (or, if you want, I can PM you my email address)! I always love to talk to others with albinism because it seems we always have so much more in common than just jacked up skin, hair and eyes.

ETA: Just got a PM asking if we wanted to do an "Ask someone with albinism" thread in the Ask Me Anything section. You up for it? :)

`THREAD JACK` Sorry!

I think in addition to the light situation contacts are tough for me because of the nystagmus. They don't settle on my eye for about 1 hour and after a just a few hours are not comfortable because of the constant eye movement. I totally agree about the sunglasses thing. I have a couple of fashionably large pairs that work marvelously. Glad that they are in style. :) Sure makes life much easier!

I've never posted on the NOAH forums. They do have a great Facebook page though. I can totally get what you are saying about how some view Albinism as something that makes them special from everyone else and how that leads some to have quite the 'tude about it. I went to the NOAH conferences when I was really young, but didn't go throughout most of my life. I did however go to the one in DC in 2010 and am heading to St. Louis next month for the one there. I'm excited about it. It is really nice to blend in with the crowd for once. I think that the conferences are of benefit. It has really expanded the last few years to include people with HPS (Hermansky-Pudlock (spelling?) Syndrome). People with HPS look, from what you described, very similar to yourself. They often have blonde hair and skin with more color, so I wouldn't stress too much about not fitting in.

That is great that you have a license with full privileges and that if something changes you have public transportation. I don't believe that I would be able to get a special note because PA is stupidly strict about many things, but I am excited to at least have one for daily life things. It will make my life a whole lot easier and I love the independence factor.

The built in eye correction usually gets some of it, but it has to be edited out in post-editing. (Even though I have not so great vision, I am very much into photography and run a small business. Life is full of subtle ironies) :) Your photography sounds like an ignorant, in the true sense of the word, jerk. I was married in December, so by the time we got done with the ceremony and receiving line the light, even though it was overcast that day, was much easier and I didn't have to squint. I was super happy about that. I probably would have said to your photographer, would you rather have me squint or have my eyes shut in every single photo.

Yes, I am seething. It is ridiculous. I did get to talk to him today and it looks like I will have all of our stuff within the next 2-3 weeks, which is good because I wasn't overly polite today on the phone. If that doesn't happen, I might just have to flip out.

Please feel free to PM me your email. I totally agree with you. I don't know how it is and others don't get it, but we always end up with so much in common. I think that an "Ask a person with Albinism" thread would be great. Education always trumps ignorance.

Sorry FJ for the thread jack!

[formergothardite]

Wonder if the internet is still out......

[Witsec7]

Well FG they're probably getting ready for their weekend hike.

[condom_broke_again]

Alright....here's the deal. I can't quit feeling bad over the fact that I was so hateful. I wake up with it on the brain and go to bed thinking about it. So, I am truly sorry for the derogatory statements. On the overweight note...I know really intimately how much it hurts to not be happy with my body and I know the word "fat" is the best way to hurt somebody already struggling...because I've been in those shoes. I want to encourage and let any of you that were offended by it know that if you are unhappy with your body there really is a way to overcome and be happy. It's taken lots of work and dedication but I think I am finally to a point in life where I have my weight under control and it really is possible...even after being unhappy with my body for so long and even after having a ton of kids. My brother gave P90X to us, as he was finished using it and moved on to other stuff. I love it. My husband's previous fire dept gave us Insanity, as they wanted to keep their guys in shape and it was a gift to the crew. Crossfit I do at home with my husband, getting the workout of the day off of their website. As far as my thoughts of being PC...the comment has been removed. It is not my intent to hurt anyone but, sadly, I do not take criticism well at all and am not immune to being pulled down by it all. So, I'm truly sorry, girls.

As far as guns and taxidermy....I was raised in TX going out to my grandparents ranch and shooting every weekend. So was my husband with his grandparents and dad. Our boys thoroughly enjoy it and I think girls need to know how to use guns and hit what they aim for. We are now quite serious about one's ability for self defense after living through what we have survived. Our girls are great shots and love it as much as the boys. All kids learn the art of jiu jitsu. My husband teaches them. We lived in west TX where hunting is huge. Kids were avid hunters. Our oldest shot his limit and filled the freezer last year before we moved. None of it could make the move with us so we gave it away to other families. Taxidermy is a lucrative business that he loves and it's actually pretty interesting and great for science. Kinda grosses me out but he and my husband love it. The taxidermist that he worked for before we moved mounted everything from rattlesnakes to exotics. One of the guys he worked with moved to DFW last fall and began working with a taxidermist that does work for Cabela's. He's currently working on an elephant and completed a tiger a few months ago. These guys do amazing work. The big game ranches decorate their multi million dollar hunting lodges with them...along with just the business of hunters wanting their own stuff mounted.

We love his 24 hour shifts. It's all we have ever known until now. The 9a-9p schedule sucks ass but it is only temporary and he will be back on 24's hopefully in July.

The house...long, long story. We looked up every resource we could long before this thread. To make a long story short...we paid for a year in full so we have no house payment. He cannot reduce our rent due to that fact and he has absolutely no money to refund us, as he paid off his own debt and gave his 2 girls a pretty nice Christmas with the money we paid up front. We can sue but you can't get blood out of a turnip and it would only result in taking a ton of our own money fighting it and and I don't want to spend the time, energy and effort on something of that sort. They can tell him to have all the stuff fixed within 30 days and then issue a warrant for his arrest when it is not. But, neither my husband nor myself wish to ruin his career, as he is a deputy, and any sort of law trouble immediately does away with his job or any future of ever getting another one is law enforcement. Neither do we wish to leave two little girls without a dad while he sits in jail for stupid stuff. I can turn the corroded knob to fill the tank up. Our kids know how to too. I just don't LIKE it. But my discomfort, as much as I gripe about it all, is no reason to ruin a man's life. We do not live in unsanitary conditions, but after reading back over my post I can see how it would easily be understood like that. We do not allow the 3 and 4 year olds to turn the valve to fill the tank up. So, they go in and crap and pee in it and it stacks up cause the rest of us forget about it. Then I go in to check the bathroom and find the unflushed stuff from 2 or 3 poops...and it grosses me out. And then I get mad about having to bend down and turn the valve on. If left on it floods the bathroom with clean water running through the lines so we have to turn it on to flush and then turn it back off. And...somedays it just really gets to me. But I know it is not beyond me to rise above it and just turn the valve. Somedays I just get a little bit irritated with God...or a lot irritated.....that we continue to be so tested. Our lease is up at the end of Sept. If we can find a place we will most definitely move. So far, we have not been able to find another suitable rent house with a landlord that is open to this large of a family. So, we make it work here for now. Our home really is clean, organized...pretty much, and we have done no damage to it. It's just a matter of stuff falling apart due to the age of the home. Think that fan was put in the same year as the dishwasher...somewhere around 1963. Having moved from our little rural dream home to here...it gets a little maddening sometimes and a little bit depressing thinking of all that we left. But, it works for now, it's a roof over our head, and we won't be here forever. The toilets flush....you just have to turn the valve...and that's gross to me...but it's not worth putting the dude in jail or ruining his career with which he provides for his family.

Anyway, once again, I'm sorry for the hurtful words.

[Witsec7]

I would rub your nose in your dishonesty about your husbands shift work and the despondency you expressed, but true to the fundy format you've closed your blog. FWIW you missed Fundy Friday.

[formergothardite]

"Sorry I called you fat, here's how to be thin like me." is even more offensive.

I am not a girl, I am a woman. Calling me a girl is offensive.

You complained on your blog that God only provided the bare minimum and that you worried so much about where the next meal was coming from. If you had applied for food stamps and WIC you wouldn't have had that problem. What makes you think God wasn't wanting to use those things to provide for more than just the bare minimum and you ignored it?

Are you going to address the safety issues with your children?

[Glass Cowcatcher]

Why did you choose a user name like that, anyway? It doesn't exactly say "I love my children soooo much, they're such a blessing!"

Also, because of you, I'm getting defrauded by advertisements for vibrators from the adstrip.

[Witsec7]

"Sorry I called you fat, here's how to be thin like me." is even more offensive.

I am not a girl, I am a woman. Calling me a girl is offensive.

You complained on your blog that God only provided the bare minimum and that you worried so much about where the next meal was coming from. If you had applied for food stamps and WIC you wouldn't have had that problem. What makes you think God wasn't wanting to use those things to provide for more than just the bare minimum and you ignored it?

Are you going to address the safety issues with your children?

Or some details about homeschooling would be apropos as well. Oh and sincere apologies to the folks with albinism are in order. Not everyone can use tanning booths or should they.

[CanadianHippie]

"Sorry I called you fat, here's how to be thin like me." is even more offensive.

I am not a girl, I am a woman. Calling me a girl is offensive.

You complained on your blog that God only provided the bare minimum and that you worried so much about where the next meal was coming from. If you had applied for food stamps and WIC you wouldn't have had that problem. What makes you think God wasn't wanting to use those things to provide for more than just the bare minimum and you ignored it?

Are you going to address the safety issues with your children?

+1. To all of the above.

[B5SnowDog]

Alright....here's the deal. I can't quit feeling bad over the fact that I was so hateful. I wake up with it on the brain and go to bed thinking about it. So, I am truly sorry for the derogatory statements. On the overweight note...I know really intimately how much it hurts to not be happy with my body and I know the word "fat" is the best way to hurt somebody already struggling...because I've been in those shoes. I want to encourage and let any of you that were offended by it know that if you are unhappy with your body there really is a way to overcome and be happy. It's taken lots of work and dedication but I think I am finally to a point in life where I have my weight under control and it really is possible...even after being unhappy with my body for so long and even after having a ton of kids. My brother gave P90X to us, as he was finished using it and moved on to other stuff. I love it. My husband's previous fire dept gave us Insanity, as they wanted to keep their guys in shape and it was a gift to the crew. Crossfit I do at home with my husband, getting the workout of the day off of their website. As far as my thoughts of being PC...the comment has been removed. It is not my intent to hurt anyone but, sadly, I do not take criticism well at all and am not immune to being pulled down by it all. So, I'm truly sorry, girls.

So let me get this straight - you chose to insult a group of strangers (strangers whose physical conditions are completely unknown to you, by the way) by calling them fat and you think the solution to that is to tell them to workout and change themselves? The proper solution is to change yourself and your self-loathing ways. You assume that anyone who is fat is unhappy with themselves because you were; that's just sad.

[LilMissMetaphor]

I know really intimately how much it hurts to not be happy with my body and I know the word "fat" is the best way to hurt somebody already struggling

No, it's not. It is a surefire way to make yourself look like a complete twat, though.

So, I'm truly sorry, girls.

We're not all of us female. And your apology means no more than the two seconds you took to type it.

[batwing]

Just announced another baby (I think? It was pretty wordy)

[Witsec7]

Just announced another baby (I think? It was pretty wordy)

Is her blog public again?

[batwing]

I think she switched between public and private several times and made a big post about going public a few months back. It just popped up in Google Reader for me a while ago. I think she may do some posts public and some private?

[Guest Anonymous]

On the right side there's a link to her Facebook page saying baby #12 is due un June 2013.

[Witsec7]

And again the filthy carpet. Last time she visited she was bitching about her sucky landlords. They're gonna love her when they take possession of the house after the Medicine family's tenancy is over, filthy carpets and wall walking.