MckMama Drama - Including the Fire - Merge

[Kaylee]

How did she become such a prominent blogger? I don't get it.

Her son was born with heart problems (I think she was still pregnant when they found this out) and the story spread so people were coming over to the blog to offer her support. She blogged everything, and may have over-dramatized parts of it, making it seem like he was on the edge of death when he was relatively stable. This kept people's attention and she kept racking up hits & followers. She started making money on the blog, so she kept posting more and more whacked out stuff to keep the hits coming.

[antifundie]

I, too, have some reservations about her "charity work" in Africa. (Ugh.)

I personally have confined my charitable donations to North American. I think North Americans are really BEAUTIFUL people.

Slight OT, but have you guys heard of this? This little girl (after her tragic death) has raised more than $800k for a charity that provides clean drinking water to (according to the HuffPost) the developing world. Really amazing.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/0 ... 16501.html

[Petunia117]

Yeah, she keeps talking about "Africa" but can't even be bothered to mention that a famine/drought of epic proportions was happening just hours from where she was (but the people she "helped" have homes and enough food and running water. She said they had problems with "work ethic". Swear to god.

People posted links to UNICEF and she deleted all of them (and any mention of donating to UNICEF). She also said that she spends money to go to "Africa" to help instead of just donating the cost of the trip because love is just as important as food and water and it's best delivered in person.

You seriously can't even make this crap up.

Also, the water tank they installed last year failed right away. The soil under it wasn't strong enough. What a waste.

Oh, and she said that female genital mutilation was ok, because if the villagers don't get it done then they're unpopular because everyone else gets it done.

On the trip before this one, she brought her Compassion kids (another charity- one that has cut ties w/ her because of her shadiness) in on a bus. It was like 5 hours each way, and they came w/o a parent. She sponsors them, so while they could have said no, would you want to offend someone who sends you money to survive each month?? Anyway, they came to see her and she used them like props. She gave them stuffed animals (that she was paid to endorse) and hair bows (that she was paid to advertise).

Ugh. Now I'm all riled up again. It's seriously mind blowing.

[Guest Anonymous]

Oh, and she said that female genital mutilation was ok, because if the villagers don't get it done then they're unpopular because everyone else gets it done.

Hold the effing phone. WHAT?!? Do you have a link to that? It's not that I don't believe you, it's just so gobsmacking that someone could be that stupid and I want to witness it for myself.

[antifundie]

OMG, FGM is ok because of PEER PRESSURE? WHAT?

[liltwinstar]

She goes on these trips to spread love????? WTH!! People need food and water and medicine, not "love" from a do-gooder lady who can't even get her own house in order.

I'm sure the FGM thing gets complicated because of the cultural pressure, but to say it's ok??? It's not ok.

And also, no matter how cute they are, I don't think that posting pics of naked children is appropriate, ever. Well, maybe infants when they're still all curled up. But beyond that, no.

The more I read the angrier I get.

[Petunia117]

I KNOW. If I had not read it myself, I would not believe it.

She ignored questions for a long time (even from people who wanted to donate but wanted to know their stance on FGM first). When she couldn't delete everything people were asking, she finally addressed it. She said a lot on Twitter, in her comments, in her live chat, etc. (because people were really upset about it) and finally addressed it in a blog post. I'm linking to that, because it was the most comprehensive, but basically multiply this by 5 and that's how disgusting it all was together. Her Tweets and such were really uninformed and she didn't seem to know or care anything about it. I think she wrote the post after the finally googled to see what it was. The live chat I specifically remember to be really dismissive, downplaying it and chalking it up to culture.

Ok, here it is (bolding is mine):

Do the villages you have visited practice Female Genital Mutilation?

Sadly, yes. A practice that has been around for too long to quantify, FGM still takes place today. In more developed areas of Ethiopia, in cities, towns and even many villages, the practice is widely accepted to be as barbaric and horrendous as it sounds. The area that the Ethiopian government, as well as traveling health and wellness workers, have seen the most success in educating the tribal leaders of each village and people group, is in the northeastern parts of Ethiopia. Education and the providing of the option for the people themselves to embrace a new way of life, a religion, a method for sustaining their people, etc, is key, I believe. The government here is not coming in by force and requiring FGM to stop. However, the way it has been handled in recent years seems to be working, praise the Lord!

There is little that we can, and should, do as ferenges (“foreignersâ€) to directly stop FGM. Just as we aren’t coming into the villages handing out religious tracts or preaching via a loudspeaker, for that is not the way to lovingly share anything with others, so us making a huge stance against Female Genital Mutilation isn’t either. However, when I asked about this and had a lengthy talk with a few of the Ethiopians who know and love these tribes, I was heartened to learn that the national Global Hope workers do regularly use their relational influence to share about the ills related to FGM, in hopes that the people in Garmaam (the village elders and leaders, most importantly) will accept moving on from some of the dangerous practices common in these traditionally male dominated areas. It has been and will continue to be a slow process, one that I hope will see much fruit in the months and years to come! There are many hurdles to overcome as it relates to FGM, not the least of which is the fact that most women who live in tribal areas where the practice is commonplace do not want it to end. Women who don’t submit to FGM become outcasts in their village. Some have even fought to see the practice return to areas where it is disappearing. That is totally understandable, as cultural practices are ingrained and firmly held to. And the balance here needs to be tread lightly: Others’ religious customs and tribal ways must be respected. But bringing in education, alternative viewpoints and even the introduction to Christianity or other religions can at the very least give these people the opportunity to understand and, if they want, embrace other ways of living.

[Petunia117]

...and now another naked kid pic, and a picture of her daughter with a black eye.

She's seriously insane.

[forever ago]

That "Africa anklet" seriously looks like it's about to cut of the poor kid's circulation.

Also do her kids ever wear clothes? Jesus...

[maybeizfundie]

While I found her Africa posts annoying (really, really, really annoying), I'm curious about the FGM issue. From what she wrote, it's clear she does not believe FGM is OK--the verbiage she uses is pretty clear, it's a social ill, it's dangerous, it needs to stop. But that it is a complicated problem. And she's right that it's a cultural issue and that makes it difficult. She's also right that it is so ingrained that women whose parents did not perpetrate FGM on them will have it done to themselves, and culture-bound women who might be married to progressive husbands who oppose it might go behind his back to have their daughter mutilated. In Ethiopia, laws against it are pretty much impossible to enforce, especially in rural areas, which is where it is the most deeply entrenched. She is also correct that an "uncircumcised" (as they call it) woman may well become an outcast, and an "uncircumcised" girl may be unable to marry. It starts very early, with young school girls talking about it amongst themselves, and mocking those who have not been mutilated yet as filthy and stinky. :(

One thing she is incorrect about is that evangelical Christianity does not necessarily stop the practice. :( FGM is a majorly contentious issue within the Ethiopian evangelical churches, once again, especially the rural ones.

[Petunia117]

I think her kids wear clothes until she takes them off to take inappropriate photos. She's awful.

And the Africa anklet reminded me of something- her last trip, she supposedly brought home some "authentic" tribal wear. She dressed her kids in them and said they were from the villagers. But then people who actually know what they're talking about said that they weren't authentic (or at least not from Kenya)...and then someone found those costumes for sale online. :P I'm sure that "African anklet" is from a kiosk at the mall.

[YeOscarInat]

Long time lurker, first time poster. I've read through MCKmamma's blog, and I too am perturbed by the "Africa" posts. Her attitude reeks of entitlement and paternalism.

That being said, her report on FGM in Ethiopia is pretty accurate. I lived in Ethiopia for two years and worked with women's issues as part of my portfolio. FGM is deeply ingrained and, in Ethiopia, is a cultural practice rather than a religious one. It is estimated that 80+% of Ethiopian women have been subjected to FGM.

In many areas, women who aren't "cut" are considered unclean and not marriageable. The mutilation ranges from a small nip off of the clitoral hood to the complete removal of clitoris and labia and the closure of the vulva by sewing it up (with a small straw inserted to leave an opening for urine and menstrual flow).

There are laws against FGM, but as another poster said, the enforcement is difficult and limited. There is ongoing education and the incidence of FGM is declining, especially in urban areas.

So....she's highly objectionable, but not always wrong :?

[blisterine]

i get sick for a few days and see what i miss!

jennifer is whacked out (i refuse to call her mckmama cuz even my evil mom wasn't that big of a bitch!). i saw that "tiny houses" post and video, and my mind immediately went to emily and dan. i have this weird feeling jen will do some professional blogging for tiny tumbleweeds and he will make them a tiny house, with baby beds lining the top of the ceiling. she will use it for about a minute, then either sell it or iz will have a very luxurious new ice fishing house.

i couldn't believe she posted "sumo" at the same time she had her address posted on craigslist. i have a feeling she was disappointed no one tried to abduct or molest one of her kids. i know that's a horrible thing to say (i'm sure we're all thinking it anyway and i am calling it out), but she seemed to be all but begging for that type of drama, leaving every clue as to how to find any of the children they may have seen in various states of undress on the net. if she's so clueless, she didn't do it intentionally, she doesn't need kids anyway. talk about putting a kid in harm's way. here's my address and phone number, come get while you can!

she seems so distanced as to what is good for her kids, if something catastrophic happened, she'd just go and have another family. maybe a divorce while she's at it would be a good idea.

i just feel sorry for her kids. i kind of see her bumping along with them, like a kid with an armful of too many tattered rag dolls.

just my honest opinion. honestly.

[Deleted03]

well maybe she'll get pregnant soon that's kind of drama inducing!

[Petunia117]

i just feel sorry for her kids. i kind of see her bumping along with them, like a kid with an armful of too many tattered rag dolls.

That's a really good (and disturbing) analogy.

And I agree about the FGM thing, to some extent. It's like HIV prevention- there are so many wacko (to us) cultural things. You can't combat it just by saying "use a condom" because there are all sorts of myths and urban legends that perpetuate the spread of it.

If you just take her post at face value, I don't think it's that offensive. But she ignored the questions for days, and deleted any mention of FGM at all when people just asked if it was practiced. Then she finally had to answer the questions and she sounded really uneducated and like she couldnt care less about it because it wasn't being done to her. She finally posted that blog post to address it and sounded a bit better, or at least more PC- I suppose my hatred for her was really bolstered by how she acted for the days preceding it.

The same goes for her most recent trip. She played nice for a while, but then made snide mentions of how the houses they live in look like the forts she tried to build as a kid "but could never get quite right" and she said that unemployment was so high in the village because the men had a "work ethic problem", which is why she needed to come and inspire them to find "dignified" ways to earn a living (like posting naked pics of their kids in compromising positions, I suppose?)

Basically, nothing she ever writes about "Africa" sounds at all genuine, and if she words everything as carefully as she can, she still screws it all up and sounds like a bigoted jerk the second she opens her mouth without careful planning.

[Beeks]

That's a really good (and disturbing) analogy.

And I agree about the FGM thing, to some extent. It's like HIV prevention- there are so many wacko (to us) cultural things. You can't combat it just by saying "use a condom" because there are all sorts of myths and urban legends that perpetuate the spread of it.

If you just take her post at face value, I don't think it's that offensive. But she ignored the questions for days, and deleted any mention of FGM at all when people just asked if it was practiced. Then she finally had to answer the questions and she sounded really uneducated and like she couldnt care less about it because it wasn't being done to her. She finally posted that blog post to address it and sounded a bit better, or at least more PC- I suppose my hatred for her was really bolstered by how she acted for the days preceding it.

The same goes for her most recent trip. She played nice for a while, but then made snide mentions of how the houses they live in look like the forts she tried to build as a kid "but could never get quite right" and she said that unemployment was so high in the village because the men had a "work ethic problem", which is why she needed to come and inspire them to find "dignified" ways to earn a living (like posting naked pics of their kids in compromising positions, I suppose?)

Basically, nothing she ever writes about "Africa" sounds at all genuine, and if she words everything as carefully as she can, she still screws it all up and sounds like a bigoted jerk the second she opens her mouth without careful planning.

LOL, maybe she could inspire her husband to find something to do too.

[Petunia117]

LOL, maybe she could inspire her husband to find something to do too.

You would think so, wouldn't you? :roll: I think she likes him being a loser. She loves to make really passive aggressive jabs and when he got his millionth speeding ticket, she wouldn't give him money to pay it, so he lost his license. I seriously think she probably has a chore chart for him (and it likely includes every duty that needs to be done around their house). I think she's *that* much of a control freak.

[debrand]

I've ignored most of the McMama's threads. She had never interested. This morning, I decided to check out her blog and found an older article about her Cat. First of all, her writing is horrible and I was somewhat confused. Does she always write like this?

What I take from her article is that her adopted cat is pregnant. Some people have criticized her for not getting it spayed. If this was an oversight on her part, I can understand. I waited until my male cat was a year old to neuter him. That was stupid on my part. Despite my precautions, he got out of the house and I ended up paying more to get him treated for fighting than if I had not put off neutering him. Yeah, that was dumb of me and I admit it. I deserve to be clobbered for my irresponsibility.

McMamma though appears to be saying that because the cat is just a cat that it shouldn't matter if she spays it. Like me, she was dumb and irresponsible. Instead of owning up to the problem, she tries to distract attention.

So my challenge to you today, and mostly to myself, is to make sure we are keeping things in perspective. Yes, we can save both kitties and lives of those in the developing world. But where should our biggest passion be? People are dying without ever having heard the name of Jesus, children in East Africa are living in conditions rivaled nowhere in the United States, Christians are being killed for their faith and teenagers in cities in our own country are stuck in sex trafficking and prostitution. Approximately 3,700 unborn babies in the United States are daily denied the chance to live to be born. Girls in Kenya are dying after unsafe abortions. Instead of worrying about new countertops for her house, my amazingly selfless friend Kristen is doing something about it. The children in Garmaam, Ethiopia were becoming sick from drinking water contaminated by human feces in fields. Instead of turning a blind eye, my friends at Global Hope helped the villagers do something about it. In Ghana, children are sold into slavery unknowingly by their parents at as young as 3 or 4. My dear friend JD is not griping about her neighbor’s unmowed lawn. She is doing something about it. Yes, there are kittens who will die if they don’t get homes, but there are children with Down Syndrome in Eastern Europe who are dying because they don’t have families. Reece’s Rainbow works without pats on the back to save these kids.

What does the fact that there are horrible conditions in the world have to do with her not be responsible? Can you imagine using this excuse in other areas.

Police: You ran a red light

Driver: What does that have to do with people dying in Africa? Don't you care about poor people?

I still don't know if she spayed her cat or not. It's one thing to be stupid and make a mistake, it's another thing to not own up to that mistake and try to fix it. I wouldn't be so hard on her about this issue, if she just admitted that she had been wrong and took steps to prevent future pregnancies. She seems intent on defending herself.

Everyone, have your pets fixed. If you dont' intend to breed them but have put off getting them spayed or neutered, just go ahead and do it.

mycharmingkids.net/2011/04/its-just-a-cat/

edited to add the link and to clarify

[Bookworm]

Wow, that's like a breathtakingly poor example of holier-than-thou distraction. It's like way overkill and just makes her look worse. "All my friends are doing great things to help poor people, but I'm sitting here letting my cat get pregnant and contributing to deaths of unwanted cats."

[clibbyjo]

Maybe she should go to a kill shelter where they kill all those unwanted kittens. I just got my newest stray cat fixed almost 2 weeks ago and I cannot stand people who don't take care of their animals! ESPECIALLY female cats,they are almost always pregnant by the time someone finds them. Not to mention, there are low cost programs that will do it for $25 so she has no excuse except her own stupidity.

[debrand]

A lot of her posters seem to have missed the point. They are praising her for not putting the cat first. I don't understand this mindset.

How is not taking care of your responsibilities something that is worthy of praise?

Again, if she admitted that she was wrong and was going to take the steps to spay the animal, I wouldn't have thought anything about the article. That isn't what she is doing. She is making excuses and taking a wierd holier than thou stance about not being responsible.

[Mellon]

Police: You ran a red light

Driver: What does that have to do with people dying in Africa? Don't you care about poor people?

Hahahahaha...I'm dying imagining this conversation... :lol:

ITA with everything else that has been said, too. It's your responsibility. You didn't get it spayed. It's your fault, now just do what you need to to make sure it doesn't happen again and take good care of the kittens.

[Guest Anonymous]

This line:

Yes, we can save both kitties and lives of those in the developing world. But where should our biggest passion be?

gave me the impression that someone else (a commenter on another post, perhaps?) had made the comparison, as in, "Oh, MCKMama is all about saving African kids but there are millions of unwanted pets right here in AmericA!!" and she was trying to defend her priorities.

Edit to add: Uh, yeah, so I just went back and checked out the post, and actually, ITA with her and with the Single Dad Laughing post. Context is everything - yeah this one paragraph makes it seem like she was grasping for redemption. However, she wasn't the one who made the comparison, her critics did, and honestly, much as I dislike the women, on this one point and IMO, she was right.

2nd Edit to add: Hasn't she since spayed the cat? I thought I read a post about her cat recovering from surgery. If so, it was obviously an oversight for which she has since taken responsibility.

[Beeks]

I'm not a Mck fan at ALL, but I think this post was a response to a huge internet flip-out on her over the cat getting pregnant. The woman has 5 small children and an idiot for a husband. She made the appointment and he apparently forgot to take the cat in, so it got pregnant. She DID take responsibility in that they are caring for the kittens and they did get the cat fixed once it gave birth, so I think she was just telling the internet to STFU over something that is pretty darn minor in the grand scheme of things. She just isn't very eloquent.

[Guest Anonymous]

This is kind of on-topic, but while you pet people are around, I have a question: I have a 6 month old Sheprador who has, just this past week, started displaying signs of doggy puberty. My instinct is, of course, to get the procedure done ASAP but I was wondering what the best age to get them neutered is, because a friend of mine (who is a vet tech) told me that the behaviour/personality of the dog stays the same as it is when they get 'fixed' and, well, he's still very much a jumpy hyper puppy. I guess I was kind of hoping he'd mellow out a bit with age before the 'boys' dropped. So, in your eternal wisdom, FJers - is it true he'll be hyper for the rest of his life, or does neutering not affect their development that way?