Razing Ruth's niece adopted by same sex couple

[ShadowyOne]

I am the zebra. I have lupus. Do not ever go into an ER and admit one has lupus unless it's essential for life.

I feel for you. My dad has mixed connective tissue disorder (auto-immune, similar to lupus, and took many, many, many years to diagnose), and my godmother has classic lupus with the butterfly pattern on the face. I hope to Jebus that you have very good health insurance; I know that my dad is only in the good shape that he's in thanks to that.

[Dixiebelle]

Ok I tried to google for this story and found nothing....can you give more details? I've never heard of it and I follow a lot of multiples blogs!

Damn it. I can't find anything now, either. She was from several years ago - claimed to be in the army, or an army wife, or maybe both. "She" faked her own persona AND her husband on at least 2 forums. Went so far as to have the husband deployed to Iraq. I think she was busted when people started arranging to send the husband care packages. Around that same time, someone found a web site for people's fiction and found a very long, detailed story that matched this person's persona perfectly. I had that site bookmarked but that computer crashed.

Her user name had Grace in it and her sig line said something about she couldn't have a crisis today because her schedule is full. I don't think I ever saw a more believable faker - and there have been many - she hurt a lot of people.

[Coconut Flan]

I feel for you. My dad has mixed connective tissue disorder (auto-immune, similar to lupus, and took many, many, many years to diagnose), and my godmother has classic lupus with the butterfly pattern on the face. I hope to Jebus that you have very good health insurance; I know that my dad is only in the good shape that he's in thanks to that.

They thought I had MCTD for a couple of years and then my test results and symptoms got a bit more definite. I get the rash sometimes. Mineral makeup has been a great invention. I do have good health insurance. I stayed with my last job mainly because of the health insurance. Get a good plan and hang onto it. No caps on anything except my annual out-of-pocket or co-pays. Good luck to your dad and godmother. It can be a challenge.

I only mentioned it because of the "it's never lupus." Having lupus and watching House my family and I have yelled at the TV a lot but it has brought a lot of attention which is good.

[Austin]

Damn it. I can't find anything now, either. She was from several years ago - claimed to be in the army, or an army wife, or maybe both. "She" faked her own persona AND her husband on at least 2 forums. Went so far as to have the husband deployed to Iraq. I think she was busted when people started arranging to send the husband care packages. Around that same time, someone found a web site for people's fiction and found a very long, detailed story that matched this person's persona perfectly. I had that site bookmarked but that computer crashed.

Her user name had Grace in it and her sig line said something about she couldn't have a crisis today because her schedule is full. I don't think I ever saw a more believable faker - and there have been many - she hurt a lot of people.

I remember her. As a mom of twins, I lurked around a couple multiples sites. She was very believable. I never sent her anything or got involved, but people - smart, insightful people - were absolutely shocked when she turned out to be a fake.

The bottom line is that unless one has met the person, one can't know. We can think we know all day long, but we don't. However, for the most part, if I'm moved by someone's plight, I give or help if I am moved to do so. Ultimately, their deception is between them and the universe. If I found out Ruth was a total fraud tomorrow, I wouldn't feel stupid for giving to her.

[grateful1230]

I believe ruth. I do understand and expect that some details are covered/expanded upon whatever.. who cares? If I wanted to tell you I was an 11 foot elephant with a human brain, I could. Point being, this is the internet. Believe her or don't. My only concern is please.. if there is never someone that believes in her and her sister, she may not take the chance of telling her truths again.

[Guest Anonymous]

My only concern is please.. if there is never someone that believes in her and her sister, she may not take the chance of telling her truths again.

Can you explain a bit more about what you mean by this, please?

[Austin]

I believe ruth. I do understand and expect that some details are covered/expanded upon whatever.. who cares? If I wanted to tell you I was an 11 foot elephant with a human brain, I could. Point being, this is the internet. Believe her or don't. My only concern is please.. if there is never someone that believes in her and her sister, she may not take the chance of telling her truths again.

I don't think there's any danger of that. Given the comments at her own blog and here, there seem to be many people who are just fine with Ruth's whole story. But even so, it's not anyone else's responsibility to "believe" Ruth or anyone else they've never met.

[grateful1230]

Austin explained my meaning better than I could have. I have past issues with not being believed (nowhere near the ATI thing) and I still hesitate in telling even my wife anything. I apologize, my point could've been much easier summerized into that it's important to have someone, or many someones, believing in you. It helps tremundously with the outcome. I do apologize for being unclear. I'm honestly having a bad week, and I am sorry if I'm sharing it too much with you all.

[grateful1230]

Also, I understand and agree, Austin. It is no ones responsibility to agree or "believe" anything, internet or not.

[Austin]

Sorry your week sucks - I hope things get better.

[Guest Anonymous]

Austin explained my meaning better than I could have. I have past issues with not being believed (nowhere near the ATI thing) and I still hesitate in telling even my wife anything. I apologize, my point could've been much easier summerized into that it's important to have someone, or many someones, believing in you. It helps tremundously with the outcome. I do apologize for being unclear. I'm honestly having a bad week, and I am sorry if I'm sharing it too much with you all.

Thanks. I'm sorry you've had a hard time.

I guess the main difference between you telling stuff to your wife, and Ruth telling stuff to the internets, is that you are there in person and Ruth is not. I tend to believe in her, but I totally get that some may not, and as Austin says, none of us can know for sure, based on the choice Ruth herself has taken to remain anonymous.

[nomi]

I tend to believe her. When I start to share the details of my life most people think I'm lying because it really is crazy and I've experienced a LOT of stuff. I could seriously write a book. Just a sample:

dad was a big time drug dealer (I guess you could call him a trafficker)

mom committed suicide

dad found god and converted

started going to doomsday cult church

went through a gun/food hoarding phase

moved onto a fundie church

sexually molested in church, during a sermon

"spanked" until the day before I moved out at 18

entered relationship with abusive POS

jumped into relationship with mentally abusive POS

serious, that's just a taste of what I've been through in life. I share a little bit of my past on my blog here and there but when I do talk openly to people about my past, most of them just don't believe me. It's true though and I don't like to be called a liar or exaggerator so I just don't share my story.

[Austin]

I tend to believe her. When I start to share the details of my life most people think I'm lying because it really is crazy and I've experienced a LOT of stuff. I could seriously write a book. Just a sample:

dad was a big time drug dealer (I guess you could call him a trafficker)

mom committed suicide

dad found god and converted

started going to doomsday cult church

went through a gun/food hoarding phase

moved onto a fundie church

sexually molested in church, during a sermon

"spanked" until the day before I moved out at 18

entered relationship with abusive POS

jumped into relationship with mentally abusive POS

serious, that's just a taste of what I've been through in life. I share a little bit of my past on my blog here and there but when I do talk openly to people about my past, most of them just don't believe me. It's true though and I don't like to be called a liar or exaggerator so I just don't share my story.

I talk about my life as a whole with very few people for the same reason, so any doubts I have about bloggers with high-drama histories have little to do with that aspect. I know from personal experience that lots of crazy shit can go down, particularly when one is a child and has little control.

[Witsec5]

The dramatic parts of my life (and there are many) have to do with people and events I could not control. I do not create drama on my own. My doubt comes from that last bit--the pregnant sister and the speedy adoption by the same sex couple. If it is all true, then great. If it is all a lie, then RR has gone to far.

Some people are just excellent at convincing others of their sincerity, honesty, etc. and they spend a long time cultivating relationships before going in for the kill, even going so far as to make a big deal about not needing a tip jar, not knowing how to use one, etc. and spending time addressing all of the doubts one by one while claiming complete transparency. The artistry is what makes a con so good.

I am of the belief that most liars start out with a point of truth. It could be that RR comes from a fundie background and embellishes some (or a lot) and found herself in a position of influence with this blog and went too far with it. The fact that a lot of us have had a lot of drama in our lives may make us more vulnerable because of our empathy for others is enhanced. I know that my BS detector (as well as my man picking sensor) is seriously broken as a result of my experiences.

I for one am withholding final judgment for RR but won't be donating any money any time soon. I did give to Vyckie once and received no acknowledgement and that did turn me off.

[Guest Anonymous]

I did give to Vyckie once and received no acknowledgement and that did turn me off.

Am I the only person getting acknowledgements for donations?! Maybe UK paypal is different to the US in how it processes receipts?

I donated to Vyckie (well, to NLQ) and got a thank you and was later even offered the donation back, after she pulled her family story from the website. I have actually done a 180 turn in my belief in Vyckie herself but I can't fault her/her people on the way they responded to donations at the time that I gave.

[Beeks]

It's really not just the fact that she has a lot of drama in her life, it's all the perfectly timed drama. At least for me. Her blog reads more like a story than like real life unfolding.

[Deleted03]

It's really not just the fact that she has a lot of drama in her life, it's all the perfectly timed drama. At least for me. Her blog reads more like a story than like real life unfolding.

why is it perfectly timed? There are huge chunks of time where she does not blog/update...

[Witsec5]

I agree with Beeks. There's something about the timing that I can't quite put my finger on. If I could, I would be able to articulate it for you better. Like Beeks mentioned, it has to do with the pacing of a story versus the pacing of real life. As for the the fact that she doesn't blog for long periods of time, I don't think it's relevant. Maybe RR is conflicted or maybe she needs inspiration. Her life, whether she is telling the truth or not, may be like a lot of ours are-- busy and full.

[SunnyAndrsn]

I admit I became more skeptical of Ruth recently, but I still give her the benefit of the doubt. When I was in nursing school, numerous classmates that I was FOS because "no one can have had that much happen to them or their family."

-Mother has a rare disease, died of a subdural hematoma

-Brother has same disease (recently has had several subdural hematomas from falls)

-Grandfather died from a subdural hematoma, a result of years of aspirin abuse

-Dad has afib, had a TIA, and later a more serious stroke, CHF and diabetes.

-Nephew had a testicular torsion at age 16, followed by an infection. Also had variant of guillian-barre, and was diagnosed with Chronic myeloid leukemia at age 18.

-Our own long infertility history--including IVF and prenatal loss

-spouse with type one diabetes

-sexual abuse in our family

-I married and adoptee, we did a special needs adoption, were foster parents that specialized in attachment disorders. We were very involved with our son's birth family, and as a result I learned a lot about drug abuse, particularly meth.

-multiple other family members in my husband's family that had cancer--breast cancer and lung cancer to be specific.

-I have a congenital defect in my kidneys that makes me more prone to kidney stones (supposedly), and I have posterior tibial tendinopthy, for which I have had several surgeries to correct the issue.

I had a story for everything, and it pisses people off apparently. It comes off as unbelievable "no one can have all that in their family/have had all those things happen to them". Well they didn't all happen to me, but also to family and loved ones.

So...I'll keep giving Ruth the benefit of the doubt. I don't send money or gifts to people on-line though.

[Daenerys]

It's really not just the fact that she has a lot of drama in her life, it's all the perfectly timed drama. At least for me. Her blog reads more like a story than like real life unfolding.

My thoughts exactly. Reading through her blog, there is never a time where she appears to run out of things to say or not suffer some kind of drama: her story, Harris engagement, broken bones, NLQ saga, issues with Dad, Rachel.... there's always something worthy of a blog post and that's what I find slightly off. I still think there's a good chance it's real but the timing is where my doubts arise. I only read it recently and it just fits together so neatly that I start to wonder.

[apple1]

I had a story for everything, and it pisses people off apparently. It comes off as unbelievable "no one can have all that in their family/have had all those things happen to them".

Actually- in real life, the majority of people consider it at least a social faux pas for someone to talk about all this stuff in much detail (whether that is supportive or not, it's pretty much the case). It's the thing where grandma regales everyone with the excruciating details about her last hospital stay/surgery. People DON'T like to hear it. Even when it's true. People start to run the other way; people are actually generally quite self-centered. People also dislike one-upsmanship, i.e. they have one problem, and someone else responds with 3 - or 10 - problems. This is taken by most as minimizing their current one problem.

The niceties of keeping the social wheels greased. That's what at least some of this is about.

[bananacat]

It's really not just the fact that she has a lot of drama in her life, it's all the perfectly timed drama. At least for me. Her blog reads more like a story than like real life unfolding.

Meh, the timing doesn't bother me. My dad is the main drama in my life, and the timing is part of what makes it dramatic. Every time I think I can just forget about him, something else suddenly comes up.

[holierthanyou]

Actually- in real life, the majority of people consider it at least a social faux pas for someone to talk about all this stuff in much detail (whether that is supportive or not, it's pretty much the case). It's the thing where grandma regales everyone with the excruciating details about her last hospital stay/surgery. People DON'T like to hear it. Even when it's true. People start to run the other way; people are actually generally quite self-centered. People also dislike one-upsmanship, i.e. they have one problem, and someone else responds with 3 - or 10 - problems. This is taken by most as minimizing their current one problem.

The niceties of keeping the social wheels greased. That's what at least some of this is about.

You explained that really well, apple1. Thank you, I also found it helpful.

[koolmom]

My life has had some dramatic episodes, and I have a friend whose life literally is a chapter from Charles Dickens, re-tooled for the 20-21st century. At times, I wonder if my friend isn't just embellishing some of her experiences, but one troubling fact is that there are literally NO other people who can corroborate any of her history. And, she has a tendency to conceal any other current people (daughter, sister, others) so it makes it more difficult to compare notes. Is this a sign of someone who might be guilty of "embellishing" , or am I off track here?

[NurseNell]

My life has had some dramatic episodes, and I have a friend whose life literally is a chapter from Charles Dickens, re-tooled for the 20-21st century. At times, I wonder if my friend isn't just embellishing some of her experiences, but one troubling fact is that there are literally NO other people who can corroborate any of her history. And, she has a tendency to conceal any other current people (daughter, sister, others) so it makes it more difficult to compare notes. Is this a sign of someone who might be guilty of "embellishing" , or am I off track here?

I don't think you are off track at all.