Razing Ruth's niece adopted by same sex couple

[holierthanyou]

I think there is a difference between someone being "real" and someone following etiquette. For all those who point to the fact that Ruth does not send thank yous to those who use the tip jar to send her money... someone can be "real" and "honest" and just not always the politest. Ruth can be exactly who she says she is and still not acknowledge/send thank you notes. The two are not mutually exclusive.

[Deleted03]

It doesn't. But it made me realize how utterly naive I was to sent $$$ to a complete stranger from the Internet that I don't know and don't even know if she's real or not.

Plus, I think it's rude to not bother to reply when people send you gifts or donations and I have stopped being generous to people who don't show me the courtesy to be nice in return. Just a personal pet peeve of mine.

I took my cash and sent it to the local cat shelter (that I know actually exists since I used to volunteer there) and got a auto-generated reply/thank you in return.

I'm sorry to say that, but automated thank yous are ok with you??? For me it's just like not saying thank you, it's an automated message. Yes I'm sure they're grateful, but it's just like receiving an automated message of "I'm sorry I'm on vacation. I'll be back on June 15".

ETA: I think too if she was responding to people accusing her of being a con, saying she does not make that much money out of it means she certainly can't live off of it... So IMO she may have gotten at the time between 500-1000$ in a year, which is great, but you could still be pushed to live under a bridge.

[Clementine]

I'm sorry to say that, but automated thank yous are ok with you??? For me it's just like not saying thank you, it's an automated message. Yes I'm sure they're grateful, but it's just like receiving an automated message of "I'm sorry I'm on vacation. I'll be back on June 15".

They get so many donations at the shelter that they probably would have to hire somebody or use a full time volunteer if they wanted to send a personal thank you note to everybody.

I prefer that they use donations and free labour to care for the cats.

But it's nice to get some kind of confirmation that the donation was recieved... like some sort of note that it went to the right place. (I have sent money to the wrong account before and it took ages and a lot of phone calls before it was sorted out.)

[Sola]

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't want to know...

'cause for twenty four years i've been living next

Door to Alice

All together now...

Alice, Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?

[Aeryn406]

I would consider it the same as if a person went to a Beef-n-Beer down at the local VFW or American Legion. The organizers usually take the mic from the DJ at some point during the night, thank everyone for coming & for their donations or the auction basket/raffle tix that they bought & that's pretty much the end of it. If the room's not packed (or if you know the organizers personally), they might come around & thank you in person. If not, then that public "TY" is all you get. But, you paid the admission or bought the basket/50-50 tickets because you wanted to help the cause.

I think good will goes a long way. You might not see any benefits immediately - but the Universe knows you put something positive out there & it'll come back to you in time. [/sappy thought for the day]

ETA: I hate when the board won't let you post because someone else is clicking at the same time! No - I don't want to change my message - I just want it posted before my boss comes around! Dang!

[Guest Anonymous]

They get so many donations at the shelter that they probably would have to hire somebody or use a full time volunteer if they wanted to send a personal thank you note to everybody.

I prefer that they use donations and free labour to care for the cats.

But it's nice to get some kind of confirmation that the donation was recieved... like some sort of note that it went to the right place. (I have sent money to the wrong account before and it took ages and a lot of phone calls before it was sorted out.)

I made a small donation back when I was more flush, and I got a paypal receipt which confirmed it had been received to Ruth's paypal address- did that not happen for you? If paypal payments are not claimed, then the sender and recipient each get an email after about a week - this has happened occasionally with my ebay purchases and is relatively easy to sort out.

As an aside, but related to the matter of inconsistencies, I said earlier in this thread that I was not financially invested in Ruth's blog because I am not in a position to donate financially to Ruth. I realise that I am now (inconsistently) posting about a donation I did make in 2010. I am a real person, and tend towards honesty and fairness, but I forgot about my earlier donation until now. My guess is that at least some of the inconsistencies on Ruth's blog happen for the same brain-malfunction reasons. :)

[Clementine]

I made a small donation back when I was more flush, and I got a paypal receipt which confirmed it had been received to Ruth's paypal address- did that not happen for you? If paypal payments are not claimed, then the sender and recipient each get an email after about a week - this has happened occasionally with my ebay purchases and is relatively easy to sort out.

As an aside, but related to the matter of inconsistencies, I said earlier in this thread that I was not financially invested in Ruth's blog because I am not in a position to donate financially to Ruth. I realise that I am now (inconsistently) posting about a donation I did make in 2010. I am a real person, and tend towards honesty and fairness, but I forgot about my earlier donation until now. My guess is that at least some of the inconsistencies on Ruth's blog happen for the same brain-malfunction reasons. :)

I don't remember actually - it was more than two years ago. But I remembered that I wondered if she had recieved the money, since I hadn't heard a word from her, and she never wrote anything about "thank you for the donations" on her blog, so I checked my PP account after a couple of months and the money had been withdrawn and claimed from it. So I guess that somebody got it.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't remember actually - it was more than two years ago. But I remembered that I wondered if she had recieved the money, since I hadn't heard a word from her, and she never wrote anything about "thank you for the donations" on her blog, so I checked my PP account after a couple of months and the money had been withdrawn and claimed from it. So I guess that somebody got it.

OK, well saying that you don't remember if you got a paypal confirmation is a bit different to what you said earlier. Paypal payments can only be claimed by the owner of the email address that they are sent to. So the ''someone'' must have been "Ruth" and the history is your paypal account is your confirmation.

[Dixiebelle]

I have (real life) friends whose drama is as weird and involved as Ruth's. I also have known of several internet "fakers". Who in the moms of multiples internet world will ever forget "Grace"?

For me it's hard to draw a line. I tend to take people at their word. But I also have a policy of only giving money to local charities.

It is strange to me that someone from that background could give the baby to a same-sex couple, but all of the possible explanations make sense too. You just never know.

[Clementine]

OK, well saying that you don't remember if you got a paypal confirmation is a bit different to what you said earlier. Paypal payments can only be claimed by the owner of the email address that they are sent to. So the ''someone'' must have been "Ruth" and the history is your paypal account is your confirmation.

Ok, it was the first time I had used a tip jar so I had no idea how it worked.

I remember writing greetings to Ruth in the PP message and had honestly expected some kind of "thank you" back - a quick reply or a blog post about recieving donations (from more people than me). But I never saw one word of it and that made me wonder if she was real or not. She seemed so curteous and well mannered and polite when posting on the Yuku board and on her blog that I was quite surprised about the whole "no reaction" thing.

I thought "ok, somebody found a great way to make money, shame on me for falling for it" and thought that she would stop writing her blog. I have seen it before - internet personas who take the money and disappear.

But she has continued to blog, and has been through one accident, hardship, broken engagement, daddy harrassment after another. And now a surprise niece and a sister in a difficult situation.

She really is one of the most unlucky people I have read about - and if so, I feel really sorry for her, since "Ruth" has had her lifetime of hardships in just a few years - or she has found out what to write about to make people donate $$$.

[LilMissMetaphor]

I don't care whether RR is real or not, and I don't know how Paypal works, but it's rude not to at least acknowledge a donation. I don't give a shit how pregnant your sister is or how many courses at school you have to take. Someone sends you money or a gift, you take five seconds and shoot them an email to say, "thanks, I appreciate it!" Hell, if you want to get really crazy you could tell them how you used the gift or what you spent the money on.

[MamaJunebug]

.... Someone sends you money or a gift, you take five seconds and shoot them an email to say, "thanks, I appreciate it!" Hell, if you want to get really crazy you could tell them how you used the gift or what you spent the money on.

Yeah, those five seconds are just A Frickin' Eternity to one of my Juniors ... who's well into her 20s and has been raised a lot better than that.

I doubt Ruth received many gifts over her childhood and even if she did, her parents were more interested in generating the next Blessing than in teaching their children note-writing skills.

I'm not excusing anybody's lack of good manners or any inconsiderate behavior. Just thought of my lackadaisical Junior and had to vent. ;)

[spragger]

I don't care whether RR is real or not, and I don't know how Paypal works, but it's rude not to at least acknowledge a donation. I don't give a shit how pregnant your sister is or how many courses at school you have to take. Someone sends you money or a gift, you take five seconds and shoot them an email to say, "thanks, I appreciate it!" Hell, if you want to get really crazy you could tell them how you used the gift or what you spent the money on.

I am wondering why she doesn't tell in a post how much money she collects. I am asking sincerely, because other sites will tell how much money they have raised. I think if the number is high enough she needs to report it on her taxes, which would be my concern, especially when dealing with an asshole company like paypal who can freeze her funds at any time with little cause. She could write a post and list out the names of people who donate and thank them that way (unless they requested anonymity). I have never donated, I am just listing some things I have seen on other sites.

[mockingbird]

Like most of you I have my doubts, but I think she's real. I've been told that if my life was a movie people would think it's too much drama to be realistic, and I think my life is pretty normal and boring. With Ruth's extra-ordinary story, of course it's hard for people to believe what she writes.

I'm inclined to believe her for the same reason. My life would (at times) be a melodramatic after-school special if it were a movie. So Ruth's doesn't seem all that implausible.

[Spider Burps]

I'm inclined to believe her for the same reason. My life would (at times) be a melodramatic after-school special if it were a movie. So Ruth's doesn't seem all that implausible.

I feel nervous sharing things about my life on the Internet because it's sooooo fucking crazy, but sooooo fucking mundane at the exact same time. Every time I do, I worry someone will be like "Psh, whatevs, that can't be true" and there's obviously no way to prove much of anything to someone you don't know. I always figure that a very dramatic blogger is either a real person with a crazy life or a real person who needs to be someone other than their own self, probably due to their crazy life or mind. As long as it's well written, I don't really care which it happens to be.

[shesinsane]

Yeah, those five seconds are just A Frickin' Eternity to one of my Juniors ... who's well into her 20s and has been raised a lot better than that.

I doubt Ruth received many gifts over her childhood and even if she did, her parents were more interested in generating the next Blessing than in teaching their children note-writing skills.

I'm not excusing anybody's lack of good manners or any inconsiderate behavior. Just thought of my lackadaisical Junior and had to vent. ;)

This. Does anyone know the ATI policy on thank you notes? Maybe Ruth wasn't raised to acknowledge every gift or "love offering", so it's not a habit for her to send thank you emails?

[mockingbird]

I feel nervous sharing things about my life on the Internet because it's sooooo fucking crazy, but sooooo fucking mundane at the exact same time. Every time I do, I worry someone will be like "Psh, whatevs, that can't be true" and there's obviously no way to prove much of anything to someone you don't know. I always figure that a very dramatic blogger is either a real person with a crazy life or a real person who needs to be someone other than their own self, probably due to their crazy life or mind. As long as it's well written, I don't really care which it happens to be.

Same. I edited something out of my personal statement because I wasn't sure if the admissions committees would believe me. LOL I have a really weird medical history and I rarely share extensive details about that in real life anyway, unless I know someone well. The rest of the time my life is pretty boring and/or nice. I do want to believe Ruth is real but it doesn't really matter because I don't send her any money, and I enjoy reading her blog. Even if I knew she was real I still feel uncomfortable donating to someone on the internet - you don't know how they will use your money.

[LilMissMetaphor]

This. Does anyone know the ATI policy on thank you notes? Maybe Ruth wasn't raised to acknowledge every gift or "love offering", so it's not a habit for her to send thank you emails?

Unless she was born in a cave and raised by wolves, she knows quite well that you acknowledge a gift or a financial donation or a frickin' loaf of banana bread delivered in person with a thank you, either verbal or in a five second acknowledgment on her blog.

Nobody said she had to compose a Miss Manners-approved-copperplate- scripted-on-scented-paper formal letter.

And even if they did, there's Google. Which RR knows how to use.

[BelieveinScience]

Same. I edited something out of my personal statement because I wasn't sure if the admissions committees would believe me. LOL I have a really weird medical history and I rarely share extensive details about that in real life anyway, unless I know someone well. The rest of the time my life is pretty boring and/or nice. I do want to believe Ruth is real but it doesn't really matter because I don't send her any money, and I enjoy reading her blog. Even if I knew she was real I still feel uncomfortable donating to someone on the internet - you don't know how they will use your money.

I don't care if people online believe me or not-if a good friend in real life didn't believe me I'd be hurt though. Otherwise, it's not my responsibility to prove to people on the internet who I am.

Mockingbird-one of my doctors found out I wasn't applying to grad school and tried to get to get me to apply and write about my health history. I also have a wacky medical history and I don't think most people will believe me. Hell, when I needed academic relief when I was really sick and had medical notes they didn't believe me! I live a boring life if it wasn't for my medical history

I take most blogs with a grain of salt and I've never donated to one-too many scammers out there asking for money, hinting at needing money.

[sassyNoz47]

Usually I do believe most of what I read. Mostly because I know how it feels to be accused of lying. The story of just how I came to this world is like a soap opera. No-one wants to believe it. When I was 9 a group of men broke in our house in the middle of the night and attempted to kidnap me. In the process they some how scarred my face... long story short when ever people asked what happened to me, no-one ever believed me and it was painful to talk about as it was. I also don't remember every single detail there seems to be some blank spots in my memory. My parents and therapist agreed that back then it would be better for me to just say I fell off a bike , so thats what I started telling people and no-one asked questions.

Its just so funny how when I started lying (which I detest) people then believed me. I guess the truth is harder for some to accept. Now as a adult and I refuse to lie.... some believe me some don't. But reality is I rarely ever get asked about it. The scar used to cover half my face and was purple it was also raised looked horrible , so everyone asked ?? or made fun of me. After horrible years of treatments....its rarely ever asked about when I wear make-up its not visable at all.

So I know some people have some wild life stories that sound more made up then true but sadly often the stories are true.

I DO agree that she should at least mention it when someone donates to her. I havent because the fact that she doesn't just kind of bothers me. She doesn't even have to thank every single person but I think those that do donate to her would appriciate a shout out.....just so at least they know she got it. She could just write on her blog thanks for the such and such donations those that gave know who they are.. or set up a computer generated general email thank you note that goes out automatically when she accepts a donation. Saying nothing is kinda rude imo.

With all this being said...... I know there are people who lie and profit from doing so. Did you all hear about the lady who for 4 years (or was it 6) had the entire world believing she was a survivor of 911? She even was in a documentary. She claimed to be one of the towers and claimed to of had bad burns and she lost her husband who was also in the tower. Took years for her to get caught but eventually she did.....Karma does catch up

[mockingbird]

Mockingbird-one of my doctors found out I wasn't applying to grad school and tried to get to get me to apply and write about my health history. I also have a wacky medical history and I don't think most people will believe me. Hell, when I needed academic relief when I was really sick and had medical notes they didn't believe me! I live a boring life if it wasn't for my medical history

I've never had a school or anything not believe me, which is good, but I have had problems with new doctors. I've gotten to the point where I can usually call them on it. My regular doctors just laugh because I don't surprise them at all anymore. One of my doctors called me the "Queen of Rare".

My problem with my statement was I was writing about a surgery I had, and I thought if I specified what it was it would imply that I had lasting problems just because of the type of surgery it was, which I don't (but probably should have).And not having to do with not believing me, but I kind-of figured the less details, the less likely they'd think I wouldn't be able to stay in school. (ETA: Didn't want to give that impression - I'm stable/fine.)

ETA: I thought about including a character like myself in some fiction things I have written, and basically decided I just needed to write a memoir because it would not seem plausible at all.

[Spider Burps]

I've never had a school or anything not believe me, which is good, but I have had problems with new doctors. I've gotten to the point where I can usually call them on it. My regular doctors just laugh because I don't surprise them at all anymore. One of my doctors called me the "Queen of Rare".

My problem with my statement was I was writing about a surgery I had, and I thought if I specified what it was it would imply that I had lasting problems just because of the type of surgery it was, which I don't (but probably should have). And not having to do with not believing me, but I kind-of figured the less details, the less likely they'd think I wouldn't be able to stay in school.

Oh, lord, new doctors. I think they expect me to say "jaykayellohell" when they hear I've had purging anorexia, migraines and carpal tunnel surgery (and a shattered ankle growth plate!) in the past, have a weird type of albinism (and thus hooooorrible eyesight) and fibromyalgia that presents oddly, plus IBS, afib and seizures. I have also had an almost-third trimester miscarriage for no reason my OB could figure out. Oh, and I have a schizophrenic brother! They all decide that I'm lying for drugs--until they see my years and years of medical records. Then, they all redo my blood work because they all assume my past doctors chose to ignore celiac or lupus. :roll: Oooooy. Don't they know? It's NEVER lupus!

[bananacat]

My life is so dramatic that nobody would believe it if I started a blog. My dad is being investigated for murder (and I hope he gets convicted because I genuinely think he's guilty). So yeah, FML. Who does this even happen to? So I can definitely believe in Ruth's drama.

[Coconut Flan]

I am the zebra. I have lupus. Do not ever go into an ER and admit one has lupus unless it's essential for life.

[Beeks]

I have (real life) friends whose drama is as weird and involved as Ruth's. I also have known of several internet "fakers". Who in the moms of multiples internet world will ever forget "Grace"?

For me it's hard to draw a line. I tend to take people at their word. But I also have a policy of only giving money to local charities.

It is strange to me that someone from that background could give the baby to a same-sex couple, but all of the possible explanations make sense too. You just never know.

Ok I tried to google for this story and found nothing....can you give more details? I've never heard of it and I follow a lot of multiples blogs!