Abused spouse has to pay spousal support

[SamuraiKatz]

After the Hillary Adams tapes, I thought I'd seen it all.

I was wrong..... :oops:

Victim Ordered to Pay Attacker Spousal Support

She was forced to have sex with him, and now she's being forced to pay his bills.

Crystal Harris of Carlsbad, Calif., had been financially supporting her unemployed, abusive husband Shawn Harris for years. But after he sexually assaulted her in 2008, she took him to court.

The jury heard a damning audiotape of the attack secretly recorded by Crystal Harris, and her husband was convicted of forced oral copulation.

Even so, in 2010, the year their divorce became finalized, he requested spousal support. The judge awarded him $1,000 a month, and also asked Crystal Harris to pay $47,000 of her ex-husband's legal fees from the divorce proceedings.

For the rest of the article: http://abcnews.go.com/US/victim-ordered ... d=14876268

I'm just beyond speechless...what is the judge thinking in this case? Giving spousal abusers what amounts to a reward from their victim!

And the worst part was the commentors on the article who thought she should be grateful that she wasn't ordered to pay more. Because he is now a convicted felon and would have a hard time finding imployment after his incarceration.

[BravaAmica]

Did the judge granting the divorce know about the past abuse and the douchebag's conviction?

[SamuraiKatz]

Did the judge granting the divorce know about the past abuse and the douchebag's conviction?

Yes, that is what makes this so bloody awful! :x

Under normal circumstances, Harris would have been required to pay $3,000 a month in spousal support after the divorce, but because of the domestic violence she endured, the judge said he would lower that amount to $1,000.

What a kind hearted judge...NOT.

[BravaAmica]

What. The. Fuck?

:angry-steamingears:

[dormouse]

That really makes me a sad panda.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

What. The. Fuck?

:angry-steamingears:

Ditto. WTF is it with asshole judges in the news lately?

[ThisOlGirl]

California family code currently states "the criminal conviction of an abusive spouse shall be considered in making a reduction or elimination of a spousal support award" and it's that language that gives the judge discretion when making a spousal support ruling.

So the judge had the option of not awarding any spousal support, but he didn't exercise that option. Nice.

[emmiedahl]

I actually have seen this happen in real life. I worked with a girl who had an abusive, alcoholic husband. She had to pay a bundle for childcare because he was too damn drunk to watch the kids, and she could not get help with it from the state because there was an unemployed parent in the home. After she came in beaten bloody, we convinced her to take the kids to a women's shelter and file for divorce. He proceeded to come to work to threaten her, pour sugar in her gas tank, and even went to the women's shelter and tried to break in one night. All documented by law enforcement.

He won full custody as the stay-at-home parent, and she had to hand over half of her gross income every month in family support. Shasta County Courts, what is wrong with you?

[annalena]

RAGE.

Law system, what is wrong with YOU?

[Guest Anonymous]

Too bad she can't tell the court "fuck you" and move to a country that lacks an extradition treaty with the U.S.

[meda]

Been there, still have the bloody tee shirt. Lucky for me, my violent ex was content to be bought off with health insurance. It really does not compute for some people(including judges)that a well paid professional can have the crap beat out of her by a spouse. I stll get the "I can't believe someone like YOU was abused"

[Angri-la]

RAGE.

Law system, what is wrong with YOU?

Seriously. Want to bet that judge is a member of a Patriarchal Church, who likely blames the woman for the abuse she suffered? *@#$%^##!~ No strong enough curse words right now. I need a mega-curse word that isn't the one that seems to offend a lot of people here. I need a good new one.

[Lillybee]

I actually have seen this happen in real life. I worked with a girl who had an abusive, alcoholic husband. She had to pay a bundle for childcare because he was too damn drunk to watch the kids, and she could not get help with it from the state because there was an unemployed parent in the home. After she came in beaten bloody, we convinced her to take the kids to a women's shelter and file for divorce. He proceeded to come to work to threaten her, pour sugar in her gas tank, and even went to the women's shelter and tried to break in one night. All documented by law enforcement.

He won full custody as the stay-at-home parent, and she had to hand over half of her gross income every month in family support. Shasta County Courts, what is wrong with you?

For some reason Shasta Co. Courts do seem to favor the males. For example, I know that joint custody of his son was awarded to a man who plead guilty to sexually abusing his step-daughter.

[emmiedahl]

It is definitely a good ole boys club down there. This was just the most egregious case I could think of; there are numerous ones in which unfit fathers were given custody and money over functional wives and mothers.

[Lillybee]

I too, know of many cases where dad gets custody and money when he doesn't deserve it. My pos ex brother-on-law is one.

[Austin]

Seriously, mind-numbingly appalling.

:angry-screaming:

[LynnKaboom]

While I don't think it's right, I thought it was pretty standard for the ex that makes more money to pay the other one alimony? There definitely should be an exception in this case though.

[meda]

While I don't think it's right, I thought it was pretty standard for the ex that makes more money to pay the other one alimony? There definitely should be an exception in this case though.

Not necessarily. Unlike child support, which is much more common, there are a whole host of issues that are looked at for alimony. Length of the marriage, assets that were brought into the marriage, division of property, ability of the respective spouses to earn a living, how long the petitioning spouse has been not working and for what reason, marital standard of living, and on and on... it varies widely by state since divorce is governed primarily by state law, but it is generally not an automatic thing.

[Soldevi]

I have never understood why to pay alimony. Really. Of course you pay support money if you have child(ren) but I would never ever want to pay money to someone I have wanted out of my life for good. This is one the US things I have never understood. I know it is a cultural difference but still.

[LynnKaboom]

Not necessarily. Unlike child support, which is much more common, there are a whole host of issues that are looked at for alimony. Length of the marriage, assets that were brought into the marriage, division of property, ability of the respective spouses to earn a living, how long the petitioning spouse has been not working and for what reason, marital standard of living, and on and on... it varies widely by state since divorce is governed primarily by state law, but it is generally not an automatic thing.

Ah, OK. Pretty much everything I know about alimony comes from episodes of Divorce Court, which isn't always the most accurate depiction of the law.

[Witsec7]

Oregon is equitable distribution. I'm kind of struggling with some of those issues now, and how it impacts divorce or legal separation for me.( If any one here practices domestic or elder law in OR drop me a pm :( )

I will say I negotiated with my DDs father, he was SAHDad, I made the money. I traded off an interest in the real estate rather than have an ongoing relationship with him that was financial. Most divorces in my county NEVER go to trial, due to mandatory mediation. My judge made it clear that we had to come to a fair and equitable agreement on spousal compensation.

[WanderingStar]

I don't even know what to say about this...

[JesusFightClub]

Been there, still have the bloody tee shirt. Lucky for me, my violent ex was content to be bought off with health insurance. It really does not compute for some people(including judges)that a well paid professional can have the crap beat out of her by a spouse. I stll get the "I can't believe someone like YOU was abused"

Oh god, meda. I hope you are much better now. I am a daft bastard that said such a stupid thing. (((((meda))))))

Since my friend died due to domestic violence I have had a lot of women saying to me "You know how she died? My husband/partner beat me as well, let me tell you..." The first time, I literally said "A strong person doing what you do was beaten? I just do not get that."

Cause that was super helpful *headdesk* I cringe when I think of it. I apologised to the person but I think I hurt her :(

[YPestis]

When I first read this article, I couldn't figure out what compels a judge to force one spouse to pay her abuser alimony. I understand that the money is a joint affair if one spouse is out working while another one is at home. However, if that at home spouse had been abusing the working spouse....it seems like the arrangement should be made null. That nonworking spouse was not contributing to the hard work and income of the working spouse. On the contrary, the working spouse made the money *despite* the abuse.

The only thing I could think of is that the nonworking spouse in this case did contribute to the wife's job in some way. Maybe when they first married and there was no abuse, the wife worked well because of the (then) supportive spouse. I dunno. That's the only way I could believe any thinking/sane judge could think an abusive spouse deserves alimony.

[meda]

Oh god, meda. I hope you are much better now. I am a daft bastard that said such a stupid thing. (((((meda))))))

Since my friend died due to domestic violence I have had a lot of women saying to me "You know how she died? My husband/partner beat me as well, let me tell you..." The first time, I literally said "A strong person doing what you do was beaten? I just do not get that."

Cause that was super helpful *headdesk* I cringe when I think of it. I apologised to the person but I think I hurt her :(

I am much better now, and with a fabulous partner who treats me with great respect and as an equal, thank you. It was a surreal situation at the time, I was an advocate for other people's rights on the job, and I would teach the circle of violence (honeymoon, escalation, violence, repeat) to union members; but at the same time I was dealing with violence from my spouse. I understand why people are surprised when I tell them, because I am a strong person. Being strong and having options does not prevent the abuse, but I think it is a tremendous help when you are getting out of the situation. The fact that I never thought I deserved the abuse helped me get out. However,one of the reasons I think I stayed stayed as long as I did was that I was embarrassed to be seen as a bad role model. :roll: