Lori Alexander 83: Fully Cook the Chicken!

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lying hypocrite -- thy name is Lori Alexander

[Alisamer]

On 4/12/2024 at 3:45 PM, Expectopatronus said:

 My friend’s husband believes there are no cases of medical necessity and is opposed to D&C even in cases of miscarriage because one person they know was told that the baby had died, was sent home and told to come back to the hospital on Monday for the procedure. The heart had started beating again and she carried the pregnancy to term. He sees this as proof that D&C is murder. He goes so far as to want all women who miscarry to be arrested and subjected to medical examination to prove that they didn’t case the miscarriage (including me when I lost the first embryo transfer). His view is that it’s unfortunate if the mother dies but there is never a reason to end a pregnancy. He also believes that babies who are incompatible with life can always be saved. Needless to say, I limit how much time I spend with him. 

Is he a psychopath or just really really unintelligent? Because none of that makes any sense whatsoever. I feel bad for your friend. I hope for her sake she never has a miscarriage. Or that if they have kids none of them ever have a miscarriage or pregnancy loss. 

I mean I wish no one ever had to go through that, but especially with someone like him in the picture. 

My ideal would be for him, himself, to be magically turned female and have to experience those things himself. 

Although ideally ideally no one would have that lack of compassion and common sense in the first place. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I'm listening to the podcast with Ken that @Hane posted and a few things struck me.

Ken emphasizes early on that Lori's parents fought all the time about everything. He says they were very different people, very different personalities. Dad was a saver, mom was a spender. Lori would cry herself to sleep at night listening to them fight, and that she brought all of that into their marriage.

He then talks about their early married life and that Lori was always upset about something(s) he did  Starting at the 5:45-5:50 mark Ken begins talking about going into her room about 8:00 every night where she had been crouched up for a while upset about something he'd done.  Her room -- he doesn't say our room or the bedroom but very specifically her room. He then relates he'd apologize for the 1,2,3,4,5 things he'd done. Just apologize for everything she said he'd done to get things back on track.

At about 6:27 he says this went on for 7 years until he realized yeah a guy like him could be wrong, but he couldn't be wrong about/for everything all the time. All. The. Time. (He really emphasizes that).

Here's what struck me:  Her room, a very specific reference to "her room."  We FJ-ers are nearly 100% certain Lori has her own room now -- but how long has she had her own room? Does it go back that far? I wouldn't be surprised.

Ken's description of Lori up until her "transformation", makes me  understand why he brought up divorce.  She sounds like an absolute harridan who cried and raged and screamed and belittled and castigated Ken until she got her own way -- about everything --and blamed him for any and every thing she believed was wrong with Ken and her life.

Ken doesn't paint a glowing picture of Lori for the first half of their marriage.  His description shows her as a full-on beyotch. A woman who married without love, affection, or romantic feelings. A woman who had to learn to love her husband (if she ever did learn).  I'm not WK-ing Ken, but I don't understand how he put up with her for 25 years.

I will forever believe Lori didn't transform, she just pretended to change enough so she wouldn't lose her meal ticket if Ken did divorce her.

FYI/ TMI -- We've never referred to our bedroom as "my bedroom" or "her bedroom" or "his bedroom".  It's always been our room or the bedroom because we share it.  Always have, always will.

[Pammy]

That's a really interesting thing to notice about the language of "her bedroom" -- my DH does usually refer to our shared bedroom as "her bedroom" -- but I think he does that specifically when I am in it and he is not. (This is generally in answer to a question from a kid about where I am.) I do the same thing, calling it "his bedroom" when he is in the bedroom (or the bed) and I am not there.

I wonder what this reveals about our relationship? In our case I think it might just be more about speaking clearly for children -- to say "in our bedroom" might confuse the child, and so would "in the bedroom" -- I think "hers" and "his" simply implies it's the bed and bedroom that she/he uses and belongs in. I think of the bedroom as mine, in addition to being shared -- like it's not mine *alone* but it's still mine: a place for me.

I also wonder if, in a sense, many marital bedrooms in heterosexual couples are a bit more 'hers' than 'his' -- perhaps being decorated to her taste, or more utilized by her than him (especially if 'she' is frequently unwell and resting there, not just sleeping). In an old fashioned sense, a wife can ask a husband to leave the bedroom and sleep on the couch during an argument. Maybe I'm overthinking it.

[4boysmum]

I say both "my bedroom" and "our bedroom" depending on the situation and never read too much into it.  If I'm talking to my husband, it's "ours".  If he's standing there when I mention the room to someone else, it's " ours".  If I were telling a similar story about going into the bedroom when he was already there, or any other story that involved both him and that room, it would be "ours."

But I might say "my bedroom" if he just wasn't around or part of the conversation.  Like if my sister is visiting and I want to show her something.  "Let me go grab that from my bedroom." Or, probably the most common usage, fighting the never-ending battle to keep my young children out of there.  "Stop bringing your toys into my bedroom!  You have your own room!  I'm tired of finding Legos in my bed!"

[FiveAcres]

On 4/18/2024 at 6:10 AM, 4boysmum said:

I say both "my bedroom" and "our bedroom" depending on the situation and never read too much into it.  If I'm talking to my husband, it's "ours".  If he's standing there when I mention the room to someone else, it's " ours".  If I were telling a similar story about going into the bedroom when he was already there, or any other story that involved both him and that room, it would be "ours."

But I might say "my bedroom" if he just wasn't around or part of the conversation.  Like if my sister is visiting and I want to show her something.  "Let me go grab that from my bedroom." Or, probably the most common usage, fighting the never-ending battle to keep my young children out of there.  "Stop bringing your toys into my bedroom!  You have your own room!  I'm tired of finding Legos in my bed!"

I thought you were being a little grumpy with your kids until you mentioned the Legos in your bed.

[Melissa1977]

Young Lori sounds even worse than Senior Lori. What an unbearable, spoiled person. I get that she was traumatized by her parents relationship, but she herself built a hell for her children and husband. I have the feeling that she couldn't stand Ken and the more submissive he was, the more bitchy she became. She should have remained single or marry a very different kind of man. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lori has always said that they argued all through dating and their engagement.  I assume she was the raging beyotch then that she was during their marriage,  I suspect Ken was besotted with her cuteness and apologized for everything he did "wrong" prior to marriage, just as he did after. Because, of course, Lori raged and cried and belittled and castigated him to make sure he knew everything he'd done wrong (all the time).

Lori got married because she didn't want to work -- not because she wanted to be a SAHW/M.  She's said often she didn't love Ken, felt no affection for him, no butterflies, wasn't excited about getting married. She assumed that she could stay home and be Lazy Lori, young version 1.0. Ken had other ideas, specifically her working.

I suspect if she had pushed and pouted and cried and moaned and raged hard enough to get her own way her dad would have let her live at home after college and not work. She's always said she always got her own way growing up (probably by being the raging beyotch she was and still is).

[4boysmum]

17 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

I thought you were being a little grumpy with your kids until you mentioned the Legos in your bed.

Haha!  Every night they pile on the bed with me and I read aloud to them and it's my favorite part of the day.  But it is amazing how much stuff they need to bring with them!  Stuffed animals, toy trains, those damn Legos... and they always leave it behind!

Plus the just-turned-one-year-old figured out how to climb out of his crib onto our bed and has decided that means we are co-sleeping.  The cat is usually there too.  I guess some day I'll miss it when the kids grow up!

[Loveday]

Just an FYI: Lori and Ken are doing an AMA right out on Lori's TTW Facebook group this morning. Haven't got time right now to follow it and report back with anything extraordinary that comes up, but if anyone else wants to check it out and see what Lori chooses to answer or not answer...

https://www.facebook.com/thetransformedwife/posts/pfbid03FrCxxWTM4kaxUijXru1PweuhvCZoEMPQMEUAfEAeM3kt3mrd4s8bhcDjRFRvuXfl

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

It's supposed to be Ken and Lori, but but early on Lori said Ken was still asleep and he'd answer questions when he wakes up. I calculate she started the AMA about 5:00-6:00am PDT.

As of 4:30pm EDT there are no posts/ answers from Ken. 

Edited April 20 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

It's supposed to be Ken and Lori, but but early on Lori said Ken was still asleep and he'd answer questions when he wakes up. I calculate she started the AMA about 5:00-6:00am PDT.

As of 4:30pm EDT there are no posts/ answers from Ken. 

He's posted a few innocuous answers here and there, but you missed a real doozy from earlier today. A man posted this question:

Quote

How do you re ignite the spark and passion in a relationship where both parties have hurt each other? How do you recommend to overcome the obstacles and get that spark back? She says I don't love her like I used to, or have enough action behind my words. I don't want to lose this woman

And Ken replied with this:

Quote

 

Are you in the Word of God daily with her? If you can wake up together, or go to bed together, open God’s Word and read a chapter with prayer, then pull her on top of you and give her the best back and butt massage just listening to her and telling her how much you love her. If that leads to other things so be it, but go without sex at every other day to show her it’s not about sex, but about connecting with her body, kind and soul. [I think he meant mind, not kind]

Then stop any moping, quietness or upsets that may be happening throughout the day and put on joy. If an upset happens get through it quickly and then remember that “the joy if the Lord is my strength.” Passion comes from joy and thankfulness. Lead forward in modeling joy for her.

Become playful with her. Think about how you were with her when dating and start being playful and fun around her. Yes, there were hurts and pain, but those things should be placed on the cross in 30 a.d. with Christ where they belong.

Whisper in her ear as you give her a big hug from time to time, “I am so sorry for the times I hurt you in the past and will do all I can to make amends because I love you dearly.” Expect no reciprocal response but hope and pray she can learn from you to both apologize for her part and forgive you for yours.

Lastly, study together what it means to have a New Life in Christ. Study Romans 6 & 8 and all the passages that speak of our new life, where the past is dead, buried and gone and all that is before us is our New Life in Christ. We are to walk in newness of life, and such a life moves on from past hurts and pains.

 

That first paragraph had me both 😳 and  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Ken's first paragraph is both WTF and and I'm ROTF LMAO. The rest of his screed is decent advice (from the evangelical perspective) for the husband.

Lori, as per always, answered the question by putting all the blame on the wife. She also shrilled for her book.

Quote

"By becoming the wife God wants her to be, not based upon her expectations and not understanding what love is as she is doing. It would be great if she read my first book. She’s not on a good path."

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I'm listening to the "Ken Speaks" video about 20 min at a time.  Someone who has listened help me out and assure me I didn't imagine this.

Between 10- 20 min into the video Ken discusses how he convinced Lori to go to a psychologist to discuss their marriage and why she believed he was always in the wrong about everything.  He says it's the same psychologist Lori's parents and her sisters had gone to, so the psychologist was familiar with the family and the familial dynamics.

Did I really hear this?  If so this is a huge revelation about Lori's family. 

Ken also says Lori spent the 3 sessions complaining long and loud about everything that was oh so so so so wrong with Ken. Then she refused to ever go again. Because the psychologist only wanted to talk about her and she wanted to talk about everything wrong with Ken.

While I still think Ken is a douche-canoe, hearing his side of Lori's cantankerous wife story is eye-opening,

Edit to add:  Ken confirms that from the beginning of their marriage, Lori went to bed by 8:00-8:30, while he went to bed much later. There is no hint she went to bed to read or anything. I firmly maintain they (did and do) sleep in separate rooms

He denies he ever had an affair -- that's a rumor started and spread by the hater sites that attack Lori. He also says the children are always palming off the grandchildren on them to take care of, and that Lori is always playing with them in the front yard. I call BS on that as I've seen a photo of her house. Her front yard is infinitesimal.

[Xan]

i don't think I can read Lori anymore.  Pretty much every post is just, "Women are stupid, second-class citizens and just need to shut up and obey men."  That's it.  Day in, day out.  We are not to have jobs outside the home, we can't instruct men, and we have to respect everything that men do.

I just hate her so much.  It's one thing to be a regular misogynist but when you find a female being a misogynist it's more than I can tolerate.

[Caroline]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I'm listening to the "Ken Speaks" video about 20 min at a time.  Someone who has listened help me out and assure me I didn't imagine this.

Between 10- 20 min into the video Ken discusses how he convinced Lori to go to a psychologist to discuss their marriage and why she believed he was always in the wrong about everything.  He says it's the same psychologist Lori's parents and her sisters had gone to, so the psychologist was familiar with the family and the familial dynamics.

Did I really hear this?  If so this is a huge revelation about Lori's family. 

Ken also says Lori spent the 3 sessions complaining long and loud about everything that was oh so so so so wrong with Ken. Then she refused to ever go again. Because the psychologist only wanted to talk about her and she wanted to talk about everything wrong with Ken.

While I still think Ken is a douche-canoe, hearing his side of Lori's cantankerous wife story is eye-opening,

Edit to add:  Ken confirms that from the beginning of their marriage, Lori went to bed by 8:00-8:30, while he went to bed much later. There is no hint she went to bed to read or anything. I firmly maintain they (did and do) sleep in separate rooms

He denies he ever had an affair -- that's a rumor started and spread by the hater sites that attack Lori. He also says the children are always palming off the grandchildren on them to take care of, and that Lori is always playing with them in the front yard. I call BS on that as I've seen a photo of her house. Her front yard is infinitesimal.

I thought these super Christians didn't believe in modern psychiatry? I'm surprised Lori or anyone related to Lori would go to a psychologist/therapist for any reason. 

I don't think I could listen to Ken talk, but what a horrible situation he found himself in if everything he says about her is true. She sounds like a nightmare. Lori and I are the same age with zero things in common. Thank God.

[SongRed7]

20 hours ago, Xan said:

i don't think I can read Lori anymore.  Pretty much every post is just, "Women are stupid, second-class citizens and just need to shut up and obey men."  That's it.  Day in, day out.  We are not to have jobs outside the home, we can't instruct men, and we have to respect everything that men do.

I just hate her so much.  It's one thing to be a regular misogynist but when you find a female being a misogynist it's more than I can tolerate.

I'm with you. I have to go cold turkey, she upsets me too much. This is all just a big game for her. She loves to be contentious and stir up controversy and then sit back and act like a martyr. And Ken knows it, too. On her recent posts about how women are supposed to obey their husbands in EVERYTHING (hair length, how to clean, what books to read, what Tv shows to watch -- no soaps) Ken flies in to clarify -- "most mean don't have laundry lists and demand that their wives to do such and such" etc.  he goes on to say most men try to work on their relationship and be a decent spouse. What he's saying in long=winded Ken-ese is that while SOME men can be jerks , most aren't.  Well tell Lori that the same goes for women. She finds or makes up (or remembers her own behavior perhaps???) the one "worst" example and uses it to paint ALL women or MOST women like that. She literally uses that word ALL THE TIME "MOST"  I don't know who these women are she is referring to but I know A LOT of other women (work, church, in the community, friends over the years, my children's friend's parents, etc) and I can pick out one or two who were miserable bitches to their husbands.  No, Lori...most women are kind and loving towards their husbands.  We don't wait 42 years until he asks to make beef stew or pot roast.  We already know what our husbands like and our husband's already know what we like. We actually all like each other as people.  We aren't' perfect and we all have bad days but for the most part we are kind and decent to each other. 

Lori just pulls a stereotype out of her uptight butt and lectures, scolds and paints all women as the root of all evil.  She is truly horrible and Ken actually knows it.  That is why he knows he has to drop in to clarify some of the points. He knows how horrible she is and for the most just lets her.  

Does she have trolls? Sure...but most of the reasonable pushback, especially from other Christian women (including me), is seasoned and logical. But Lori has never changed in her life. She has always needed to be most "right" about everything. 

I've got to stop letting her upset me. That's on me. 

 

Edited April 23 by SongRed7

[HoneyBunny]

I remember when my mom was in hospice care and died…I couldn’t go near LazyLori’s SM for a month or two. She is just so hateful and ugly and it just seemed like my heart was already as heavy as it could be.  My mom was a saint- everyone said it all the time- the most giving of women, who actually lived submission in her marriage (for good or bad), but for the entire 60 years, not just after creating strife for 20 years, and never said a word about what anyone else should do. She lived her faith. She was truly loved by everyone. And then there’s Lori, who reaps conflict and dissension in the name of God. Ugh. 

Even now I have to step away for a few weeks at times. Actually, Twitter is the worst for Christian conflict. Everyone is at each other all the time, all in the name of religion. Jesus weeps. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Ken Speaks video:

I wasn't having auditory hallucinations -- beginning 9:08 Ken discussing getting Lori to the psychologist.

Some other interesting bits of tea:  

• 10:52 - Lori's dad worked 60-70 hours/week (6:30 -7:30) 5 nights and sometimes Saturdays.
• 11:19 - Lori loved her Dad but also had "disdain" for him.
• 12:09 - Lack of respect from Lori to Ken; this was non-stop.
• Repeated many times their biggest issue was arguing.  They even argued all 45 minutes of their daily walks, arguing every single day.

 

[Caroline]

I've mentioned before that I'm the same age as Lori.  I grew up poor, I've worked from the age of 15, earned two degrees, traveled extensively, lived abroad, and have worked happily as a high school teacher for the last 42 years. My husband and I married in our mid-30's and had our only child in our late 30's. Our life together has been fulfilling and based on compassion. We have a lot in common intellectually, and that along with my husband's true concern for others, is what matters most to me. 

Lori is truly a loser in all ways. She strikes me as boring and not at all curious about the world. I'll bet she has nothing of substance to talk about.  I would feel sorry for her, but I've known a few spoiled brats like her, and I can't imagine her personality flaws are fixable. 

Even better, my husband, daughter, and I are not Christians. We are a lot happier and kinder  in our imperfect ways than anyone like Lori or Ken. 

[HoneyBunny]

@Caroline, I couldn’t agree more with what you said.  I’m from a similar background, and when I think back at how hard I worked to get my bachelor’s degree, always working two jobs at a time while going to school full time. Only because I was young and determined as hell could I do that. And LazyLori literally craps all over her college degree on a daily basis. She has no concept of the privilege she’s enjoyed all her life. 
 

@Red Hair, Black Dress, Ken should have kicked Lori’s bony ass to the curb about a month into that marriage. I have no respect for either of them, Lori, of course (because that’s obvious) but also Ken, because he allowed his kids to be raised in that environment. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that the psychologist spotted who was at issue in that marriage.  What I’d like to know is how did that conflict affect the kids, even into their adulthood. 

[Maggie Mae]

20 hours ago, Caroline said:

Lori is truly a loser in all ways. She strikes me as boring and not at all curious about the world. I'll bet she has nothing of substance to talk about.  I would feel sorry for her, but I've known a few spoiled brats like her, and I can't imagine her personality flaws are fixable.

There's no joy or interest in anything coming from Lori. She never posts about a great restaurant she found, or the weather, or craft projects. She's not posting about her exercise routine or taking the grandkids hiking or to the zoo. Nothing that Lori writes about makes me want to emulate her or live the way she does. She's in a very crowded part of the country and seems so lonely and isolated. She doesn't have any hobbies or even interest in other people's joy. She just exists to exist and yet craves power and control.

[Xan]

I think Lori and Jill Rodrigues are a bit alike.  Both of them think they are smarter and godlier than most Christians.  They'd both love to preach but, alas, they've glommed onto cults that don't allow women to preach to men.  Lori gets around this by her online presence where she preaches to her braindead followers and a handful of misogynistic men.  Jill preaches to her seminar ladies, her Plexus team, and whomever will read her Facebook page.  It's not quite enough for either of them so they still come off as bitter (Lori) or persecuted (Jill).  They're both expecting big points in heaven for accepting their place in the pecking order but neither one can seem to reach acceptance without running other people down.

[usmcmom]

So much about Ken and Lori bothers me. The big thing, though, is the way she went from complete shrew to completely submissive. Neither she nor Ken could comprehend a happy medium. 
 

I hope I remember her story correctly. Lori says when, she became submissive, she told Ken she would now do whatever he asked, with no complaining. So, he told her to iron his shirts. He didn’t say to stop complaining or stop arguing. He didn’t say to just be nice. That was always so odd to me.
 

In my opinion, he didn’t want an actual partner to love, respect and enjoy.  He wanted a subject to bend to his rule. She didn’t care what she had to do to stay in that marriage; but she didn’t know how to just be a nice person to her husband so she went to the other extreme and now pretends to be submissive. 
 

Also, I have always been a bit bothered by the fact that all of Lori’s faults are broadcast to the world; but Ken’s failings in the marriage are never mentioned. 

[HoneyBunny]

I know for certain that she said in the distant past that they were walking one day and Ken said he would probably leave her when the kids were raised. I’ve always figured that was a wake up call of sorts to her, not to become a loving life partner,  but to become a submissive wife. But she now denies that, and says that neither of them ever considered divorce. 
 

What I’ll never understand is why, as much as she preaches what she considers to be Biblicak truth, the Bible itself didn’t convinced her to not be a shrew. Instead it took a book by Debi Pearl. I don’t, for a minute, buy that. Either she followed the Bible or she didn’t, and it’s clear she didn’t. She always says that people who say Jesus is talking to them are lying, that it’s all in the Bible. Hmmm…I guess LyingLori believes in listening to Debi Pearl more than Jesus. She certainly listens to Paul more than Jesus.