Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 43

[GreyhoundFan]

22 minutes ago, AnywhereButHere said:

Wyoming’s very own fever dream. Damn. 
 

 

Remember the song, "Bette Davis Eyes"? Harriet has Crazy eyes.

[47of74]

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[ADoyle90815]

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[AlmostSavedAtTacoBell]

12 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

Please be true. I really truly hope some of the Trumpers have seen the light. Even if they don’t vote D, I really hope they have realized the MAGA nuts are dangerous. It’s progress. 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"87,000 Conspiracy Theories"

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Sometimes I’m asked by people in the real world (like in person and not on social media), “why are you a liberal?”. I’ll also occasionally get, “Why can’t you be conservative?”.

The reason I’m a liberal and I can’t be a conservative is for several reasons. I don’t think cruelty is funny. I have empathy. I care about people who are not myself. I believe we should help each other, and not just ourselves. I don’t think we should be greedy and selfish. I don’t think we should physically hurt people. I believe in democracy and human rights. I believe all people should be treated equally and we should all have the same opportunities. I don’t believe that any child in this country should be allowed to go hungry. I believe in a woman’s right to choose. I don’t believe ten-year-old rape victims should be forced to give birth to rapists’ babies. I don’t believe families should be torn apart or that children should be thrown into dog crates. I like dogs. And, I like the truth.

Republicans can not tell the truth. They can’t advocate any policy without lying. Your average Republican will lie when he says America favors GOP policies over those of Democrats. That’s a huge lie since Republicans have only won the popular vote in a presidential election just once since 1988. In case you’re a Republican, that’s over 30 years. But, the lying gets worse when it comes to defending Donald Trump. I have never ever ever ever ever not once ever heard a MAGAt defend Donald Trump without lying. Never.

I guess what this boils down to is that I can’t be a Republican because I have principles. Republicans don’t have any. Look at Ted Cruz. The issues Republicans can’t claim to hold dear to their hearts anymore are many and include family values, balanced budgets, government spending, patriotism, Jesus, law and order, democracy, national security, corruption, nepotism, sexual assault, classified information, Hillary’s emails, or whatever the fuck is on Hunter Biden’s laptop. They have sacrificed every position they’ve ever held in loyalty to the Trump cult. This brings us back to lying.

The Inflation Reduction Act President Biden just signed tackles healthcare, climate change, and slightly raises taxes on corporations. The only way Republicans can attack this is to lie. If nothing else, maybe it’ll distract midterm voters from the fact Republicans blocked an amendment on a price cap of $35 on insulin. Another reason I can’t be a conservative is that I’m not fucking evil.

One of the lies they’re spreading is that this new law raises taxes on the middle class. It does not and there’s nothing in the bill that says so. Yet, Republicans are going on TV saying it does. Many justify this bullshit by claiming if you raise taxes on corporations, then they’ll raise prices on goods, which is like a tax increase on the middle class. These are the same motherfuckers who refused to see that American consumers pay tariffs when you raise them on foreign products.

But you can’t blame Democrats for greedy corporations raising their prices. You blame greedy corporations. I mean, why were they raising prices before this act passed? Did oil companies eat higher costs over the past several months instead of raising prices on consumers? No. Who are you going to blame for that, Joe Biden? Wait…Republicans did blame Joe Biden.

Another huge lie, which is a doozy, is that the new law will create 87,000 gun-toting IRS agents to go after the middle class with audits. This is a huge lie.

The legislation includes roughly $79 billion for the IRS over 10 years. In case you’re a Republican, ten years is a decade. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office projects that the enhanced IRS enforcement funded by the law will generate an additional $204 billion in revenue over 10 years. That represents additional taxes that are owed under existing laws, but which go unpaid.

Not all of the new hires, which won’t amount to 87,000, will be auditors. And increased revenue won’t come from people making less than $400,000. In case you’re a Republican, making $400,000 a year makes you way above middle class.

Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen has directed IRS Commissioner Charles Rettig not to use the new funding to increase enforcement of taxpayers earning less than $400,000. In case you’re a Republican, the IRS is a division of the Treasury Department.

Yellen said, “Specifically, I direct that any additional resources, including any new personnel or auditors that are hired, shall not be used to increase the share of small businesses or households below the $400,000 threshold that are audited relative to historical levels.” Yellen wrote in an August 10 letter to Rettig, “This means that, contrary to the misinformation from opponents of this legislation, small business or households earning $400,000 per year or less will not see an increase in the chances that they are audited.”

That doesn’t stop goons from gooning. Ted Cruz claimed “87,000 new IRS agents” will be going after small businesses and non-rich Americans. Cruz said, “And, by the way, these IRS agents aren’t there to go after billionaires. They’re there to go after you. They’re there to go after your small business.”

Maybe we can tax creepiness.

Ted Cruz has no resources for this claim. He just made it up. Speaking of troglodytes talking out of their asses, let’s see what Matt Gaetz had to say.

Gaetz said it was “bizarre” that the IRS bought $700,000 worth of ammunition between March and June 1 of this year, but that amount is the same amount the IRS spent on ammo during the Trump years. Gaetz believes the IRS is buying up all the ammunition it can so normal people won’t have any for when the IRS comes at them with guns blazing during audits.

Personally, I think we should tax people by the size of their foreheads. Fortunately for Matt, I don’t think his income during his upcoming time in prison will be enough to warrant an audit.

That brings us to the lie that there will be 87,000 armed IRS agents. 87,000 is the amount allowed over the next decade for the IRS to hire. It doesn’t mean they will hire that many. They’re not all going to be agents. And, only “special agents” who investigate criminal violations of the tax code are authorized to carry firearms.

And the official Twitter account for the House Judiciary Committee Republicans tweeted, “The IRS is coming for you. The DOJ is coming for you. The FBI is coming for you. No one is safe from political punishment in Joe Biden’s America.”

If you get audited, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Donald Trump is a criminal who stole government classified documents. The IRS has nothing to do with FBI warrants and searches. But it’s probably true that if you steal classified government documents and store them in your laundry room next to your Swiffer, the DOJ might be coming for you.

The money the IRS is getting is for updates. Over the past decade, the IRS has lost 40 percent of its “complex revenue agents.” These are agents who handle complicated tax returns of large businesses and corporations and go after high-end tax evaders. Over the past decade, Republicans have cut IRS funding. Over the next five years, the IRS is expecting to lose up to 52,000 employees to attrition. This new funding will replace much of that.

The new hires will be educated people who can do math and were educated with the proper textbooks. So, very few will be coming from Florida or Texas.

If the IRS was receiving funds to go after the middle class with no plans to go after rich tax evaders, then Republicans would probably be silent over it. In fact, that’s probably what we’ll get if they take back Congress this November.

The fact is, Republicans care more about the rich than the middle class. Donald Trump’s only legislative accomplishment was giving himself and other asshole billionaires “permanent” tax cuts. They gave them to the middle class too to show they care…but those tax cuts were NOT permanent.

Anytime Republicans claim they care about you, it’s just another lie. And when they send out people like Ted Cruz and Matt Gaetz to state their positions, then you know they’re lying. But then again, it’s hard to find non-goons in the GOP.

The Republican Party lies because it’s all they have.

 

[CTRLZero]

“The Kars-4-Kids jingle the national anthem”…now that’s just cruel!  😆  

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[47of74]

On 8/20/2022 at 7:49 PM, GreyhoundFan said:

If a Vulcan did a mind meld on her there wouldn't be a mind on one end to merge with.

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Governor Crackers"

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I shouldn’t have to write a long blog for you today since it’s nearly 4 p.m. on a Sunday and all I’ve done since I woke up has been working on cartoons, videos, and other in-house stuff for my little syndication business, but since I wing these things anyway, let’s see what happens.

I’ve been meaning to work “woke sausage” into a cartoon for over a week. It was two weeks ago that the story broke about how Cracker Barrel, not an establishment that usually comes to mind first when thinking of enlightenment, introduced plant-based sausage. The new product is from Impossible Foods, a company that makes meat substitutes out of plant-based products. It’s fake meat, kids.

Veggie meat has been around for a few decades now and its popularity is increasing. As Shaun’s mom said in “Shaun of the Dead,” a film heavy with brilliant foreshadowing, “These days, a lot of people don’t eat meat.” That movie came out in 2004 and vegetarianism was on the rise way before then.

So, when Burger King introduced their Impossible Whopper, I took notice and thought it was an interesting turn of events. Once on a road trip with my girlfriend at the time and her brother, we stopped at Burger King and he, being a vegetarian, got an Impossible Whopper. I was curious enough to ask, “How is it?” He liked it. I wasn’t curious enough to try one myself. I noticed that the calories and prices were the same, if not more than a regular meat Whopper. So, the only real reason to get one is out of kindness toward animals, though buying a veggie burger at a place that still serves meat is only keeping the cow and chicken murderers in business.

I’ve tried plant-based stuff a few times and to be honest, I’ve yet to eat one that I thought tasted just like meat…or that didn’t make me want to throw up. I don’t like them. But, if you like them, then you do you. I don’t care. So, when Burger King introduced their Impossible Whopper, it didn’t piss me off. I didn’t boycott Burger King over something I will never order. The only reason I see for not going to Burger King is that they tend to suck with everything they offer.

Disclaimer: It doesn’t take me long to get tired of Burger King and not order from there for a year or two, but I had a huge hankering for a Whopper yesterday, a real Whopper, and I ordered one with onion rings. It was delicious and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Two weeks ago, Cracker Barrel introduced an Impossible Sausage and my first thought was, “Everything on your regular menu is bland as fuck, so how good can that fake sausage be?” Seriously. Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? I used to go all the time because my mother loved it, but it’s like they don’t use any spices. It’s the blandest place in the world. I think their food is boring (although, their breakfast is OK but I would still prefer an independent diner). That’s probably why you usually only see old white people there who believe ketchup is a vegetable.

If Cracker Barrel was a rock band, it would be Train.

But, when Cracker Barrel introduced their Impossible Sausage, right-wing troglodytes got pissed and started referring to it as “woke sausage.”

On CB’s Facebook post introducing the fake sausage, commenters wrote, “I just lost respect for a once great Tennessee company,” and “Not going to happen! Cracker Barrel used to be so good, we looked forward to eating in them but not anymore.” From these reactions, you’d think Cracker Barrel was run by Hillary Clinton and deep-state Satanic Democratic Party pedophiles serving baby parts on pizza.

It’s weird that one offering on the menu has destroyed a lifetime of loyalty to a business. I mean, maybe they could still go and not order the food they don’t want to eat. Cracker Barrell still offers the rest of their menu, right? I’m sure they still have tasteless meatloaf made from real meat (that’s the last thing I had at a Cracker Barrel and it was dull).

When I saw this story, I thought “woke sausage” was too good to pass up…but then Mar-a-Lago got searched by the FBI and I had to basically drop everything else. I thought my opportunity to lampoon woke sausage had passed…then Ron DeSantis helped me out.

On Thursday, a federal judge declared a Florida law championed by Governor Ron DeSantis that restricts race-based conversation and analysis in business and education unconstitutional. DeSantis and his goons referred to this law as the “Stop Woke Act.”

It’s interesting that Republicans love to cite the Constitution and claim that liberals are stripping rights away, but the only people taking rights away from Americans are Republicans. How do you describe yourself as a constitutionalist when you shit on the Constitution? A good way to make sure we don’t end racism is by outlawing race-based conversations and history lessons on our racist past from slavery to segregation to Donald Trump’s “build the wall.”

Look at the title of the law itself. “Stop Woke Act.” How can you ban wokeness? That’s banning thought. DeSantis’ law was stopping what he called “pernicious” ideology exemplified by Critical Race Theory. But here, he wasn’t just banning it in public schools, but in universities and private businesses.

For the record, Republicans use the word “woke” more than liberals do. Most liberals use it in jest, not as a self-description. If you try to understand the position of people who have life experiences that are impossible for you to experience, Republicans will call you “woke” like it’s a bad thing. I’m not sure how that applies to veggie sausage.

The judge said the law, as applied to diversity, inclusion, and bias training in businesses turns the First Amendment “upside down” because the state is barring speech by prohibiting discussion of certain concepts in training programs.

He wrote in his ruling, “If Florida truly believes we live in a post-racial society, then let it make its case. But it cannot win the argument by muzzling its opponents.” That’s exactly how Republicans want to win arguments, by banning your free speech so they can lie their goon balls off.

The law prohibits teaching or business practices that contend members of one ethnic group are inherently racist and should feel guilt for past actions committed by others. It also bars the notion that a person’s status as privileged or oppressed is necessarily determined by their race or gender, or that discrimination is acceptable to achieve diversity.

There’s this belief among Republicans that if you teach about this nation’s racist past, then you’re making white people feel bad, and we need laws that ban making white people feel shame. In Ron DeSantis’ fascist Florida, he’s extending it to businesses.

It’s a fact that black Americans face more discrimination than White Americans. This law bans that from being confronted. It bans businesses from recognizing it in order to end it. It basically bans discrimination bans. If your business doesn’t discriminate against a job applicant because of race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, or sexual identity, then it’s probably violating fascist Ron DeSantis’ Stop Woke Act.

What happened to the GOP being the party that’s friendly to business? Aren’t they supposed to be the party that fights against government regulations on businesses? Ron DeSantis has declared war on everyone, every educator, and every business that doesn’t blindly goosestep behind him.

DeSantis is trying to be Florida’s Mussolini and he’s trying to out-fascist Donald Trump. Politically, it’s working. Republicans love this fascist shit. I hear Republicans all the time say how much they want to move to Florida because of Ron DeSantis. Someone tell the alligators the buffet is coming.

Republicans are all about taking away freedom, whether it’s speech they don’t like to hear or sausage they don’t want to eat. I can tell them what to do with their sausage.

 

[GreyhoundFan]